Son needs help

Jellybaby1

Our son is very depressed. He spends a lot of time in his room alone and keeps it very dark and its a mess and won't let me clean it. He is 30 yrs old and unemployed and single. He refuses to talk to me about his problems and it always turns into a row because he completely misunderstands everything I say. It seems everything I do and say is wrong and he doesn't want to talk. This has been going on for several years. He had a few sessions with a counsellor but he stopped going. We hoped when he went to the counsellor it would help but now he is at a standstill. I am at my wits end, the situation is desperate. What can I do to help him?

belcampprisoner

Are drugs involved


https://www.google.com/search?q=parents+helping+adult+kids+with+depression&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari#sclient=tablet-gws&hl=en&client=safari&tbo=d&q=parents+helping+adult+kids+with+depression&oq=parents+helping+adult+kids+with+depression&gs_l=tablet-gws.12...0.0.0.4435.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0..0.0.les%3B..0.0...1ac.jDttSUML5oU&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=7d57896410a74695&biw=1024&bih=644

this sounds like expect for the fighting bit and im happy maybe he just a loner like me

A good place to start would be to try get him to visit a GP to discuss how he's feeling. A GP can make appropriate referrals and prescriptions if required. It can be difficult to persuade people to take this step however, and might require a good deal of patience on your behalf. In the meantime, educating yourself about depression is one of the best things you can do, as the more you understand the condition the better equipped you will be to recognise its effects and support those suffering from it. I highly recommend aware.ie as a resource for information on depression and other mood disorders- it also has an excellent support system in place for friends and family of depression sufferers which includes tips, online chat groups and you can also email them for advice.

I know first hand how extremely difficult and heart breaking it is to watch someone you love suffer through depression; I can only imagine how much more painful that experience is as a parent. I am very sorry to hear you've had this experience; I hope you and your son can find the proper support needed. It can take a long time and be difficult to find but it is very possible to recover from depression so hang in there and know neither you or your son is alone in this. Depression is becoming something of an epidemic these days, there are many, many people out there who share the same experiences as you and your son.

All the best.

Jellybaby1

belcampprisoner wrote: »

Are drugs involved

No drugs thank God. Drinks a couple of bottles of wine every night.

obplayer

I went through something similar, drunk a couple of bottles of wine or sometimes a wine box every night. Eventually spoke to the Samaritans who asked me if I had seen my GP. Saw a GP, had to register because I didn't have one, and she put me straight on anti-depressants which gave me enough of a lift to do other things and get out of where I was. This sounds like depression, PM me if you want to know more.

Jellybaby1

You are all so good to come on here to advise, thank you. He had been to a GP about a year ago who referred him for counselling but the free service never happened so I paid for his private counselling sessions. He just stopped going. Money is tight but I would go without in order to pay for anything that would help him. He feels worthless and useless. His relationship broke down recently, and not the first either. So it looks like I need to get him back to a GP, should I approach the GP myself? When he went to the counselling he refused to talk to me about it so I don't know what happened or what was said or why he stopped going, maybe he thought it wasn't working for him. Would a different counsellor make any difference?

Jellybaby1

He was on anti depressants while seeing the counsellor but not now.

obplayer

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

You are all so good to come on here to advise, thank you. He had been to a GP about a year ago who referred him for counselling but the free service never happened so I paid for his private counselling sessions. He just stopped going. Money is tight but I would go without in order to pay for anything that would help him. He feels worthless and useless. His relationship broke down recently, and not the first either. So it looks like I need to get him back to a GP, should I approach the GP myself? When he went to the counselling he refused to talk to me about it so I don't know what happened or what was said or why he stopped going, maybe he thought it wasn't working for him. Would a different counsellor make any difference?

A different counsellor might help, but in my case it took medication to kick me on, to some extent, my feet. I am not saying that is what is required but it is worth considering. Walks and daylight can do wonders for depression but first you have to get out of bed. Counsellors can vary wildly in their usefulness but one you get on with is wonderful.

Jellybaby1

I will try to try to him tomorrow. Thank you.