Buffalo & Doozerie - The mild musings of two grumpy old men!

dermabrasion

Darwin had some ideas about this sort of thing.

buffalo

Dear White Van Man, you are a ****.

I'm not arsed writing anything more, we've all been there.

NeedMoreGears

NeedMoreGears wrote: »

@doozerie That's a pity - think I'll remove a few old files from the garmin just in case.

Two weeks later there's a modest puff of smoke out of the back of the laptop. RIP laptop.

But inaction saved the day! I hadn't bothered moving the garmin files which would have been lost altogether had I moved them. Hurray for indolence!

Ole Rodrigo

I've been resisting the urge to criticise other cyclists lately, but yesterday took the biscuit.

Waiting at the lights on O'Connell St outside Supermacs, I had left about 12 to 16 inches between myself and the kerb, ostensibly to deter anyone from undertaking. Nevertheless this chap came up behind me and attempted to do so, glanced off my leg and then stopped halfway through. ' Careful ffs ' I turned around and said to him, more shocked at the invasion of personal space than the idiocy of undertaking someone, with the clear intention of going straight through, at a RED LIGHT at a busy junction with cars, peds and trams. Having none of it, he replied with all manner of expletives, outraged that someone should pull him up over his right to do as he pleased. At that moment I was dumfounded - there was not one redeeming aspect to the way this guy conducted himself. I could only turn around, muster up some zen and wait for the light to go green. Complete twatwaffle.

doozerie

Lumen wrote:

@doozerie I'm a committed VEETer. The aerosol stuff is by far the best, although it's not cheap and I use a whole can in one go. Tesco had it cheap a couple of weeks ago so I stocked up.

Respecting time limits is critical. The biggest risks (other that overspill on sensitive areas, which I do have experience of) is slipping over on the stuff in the shower. Never do it alone in the house or with a locked bathroom door - if you knock yourself out you'll wake up in need of skin grafts.

Most of the VEET range in McCabe's Pharmacy in Dundrum was being sold for 50% off recently so I took the opportunity to buy some of the alternative versions of it, including the spray version. I tried out the spray for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and it was quite an adventure.

It started out well. I climbed into our shower enclosure and closed the doors behind me to contain any wayward spray. It was very convenient and quick to be able to apply the stuff by spray. I was pleased. Then that VEET smell started to assault me in what was a relatively confined space where oxygen was less plentiful than I'd have liked. While trying to fend off the smell my feet discovered that the usually grippy shower tray was now strangely glassy. Cue some flailing arms, gasping for breath, and feet moving in a blur as they struggled to find some sort of grip.

Eventually I managed to jam my feet against opposite sides of the shower tray, holding myself upright by brute force and ignorance. I took a deep breath. Of VEET stench. Not a good idea. I was sweating, and so far I'd sprayed only one leg. I glanced down to see that some VEET had managed to migrate to somewhere that no VEET should go. Ever. Cue some further scrambling, searching frantically for a damp cloth this time. But there was no damp cloth in the shower in which I was currently trapped. Curse my poor planning! Was that a slight burning sensation I was feeling? Was I about to undergo an involuntary self-neutering? Thankfully my wife was nearby and she passed me in a damp cloth. Phew! Still only one leg sprayed though, and the clock was ticking.

Half way through spraying the other leg, the spray ran out. (What? I've only got short little legs, their surface area is tiny!). Still trapped, unable to move my feet for fear of instantly landing on my snot, with the clock ticking away even faster now and the imminent prospect of sporting a half hairy/half smooth look looming for one leg. My wife came to the rescue again, passing me in a tube of VEET cream. Before I got to apply it I noticed a recurrence of the imminent threat of self-neutering. I could have hugged that damp cloth, if it wasn't for the fact that it was now liberally coated in VEET and was spreading it to every part of me that it could (I'm still not sure that I haven't ended up with bald patches in some odd places). I lashed the VEET cream on the rest of my leg, leaving barely enough time to scrape the sprayed on stuff off my first leg before the leg melted. There was no time for any finesse, I attacked my legs with that plastic scraper like a man possessed before finally turning on the shower to wash away any residue, of both the VEET and my legs!

I emerged from that shower far smoother than before I'd climbed in, but a broken man. Compared to my comparatively calm first experience, with VEET cream, this one cranked up the trauma quite a bit. I decided I'd give it a while before trying the spray version of VEET again. So over the weekend, needing to tackle my leg stubble (which seems to be on steroids) once more, I opted to use a razor. My wife suggested using hair conditioner as a form of shaving cream and it worked really well. It seemed to soften the hairs well, acted as an effective lubricant for the razor, and it didn't clog the razor either. I thought I was going to get away with no razor nicks at all, but I got a bit carried away and managed to cut myself slightly in a couple of places by being careless. Standing in the shower with blood dropping into the water pooling at my feet reminded me of films like Piranha, where small drops of blood in the water precede a gory feeding frenzy, or even the shower scene in Psycho (and our house is indeed on a hill - yayy) - why can't my brain supply comforting images at times like those? My daughter would have been delighted though as she has a very enthusiastic interest in blood at the moment - I imagined her joy at the grim sight, then imagined her telling everyone in the creche about her dad shaving his legs in the shower and I was grateful that she wasn't nearby.

The shaving worked quite well though, overall, I can recommend hair conditioner for the purpose.

doozerie

NeedMoreGears wrote: »

Two weeks later there's a modest puff of smoke out of the back of the laptop. RIP laptop.

But inaction saved the day! I hadn't bothered moving the garmin files which would have been lost altogether had I moved them. Hurray for indolence!

Yeah, it's a real hassle trying to safeguard digital data. I keep a copy of my Garmin files on Dropbox, which gives you 2GB of space for free, and more if you subscribe. Google Drive offers you similar space for free, and there are other similar services too. You get the benefits of duplication, with synch'ed files available on whichever of your own machines you choose to install the client software on - so you essentially get a crude version of a backup (though if you accidentally delete a file from one machine it'll get deleted from the other machines too unless you can prevent the other machine(s) from synch'ing that update).

Less usefully, you can export your rides one by one from Garmin Connect or Strava if you need to recover them in a file format. Strava doesn't allow you to export them in TCX format though so you'll probably lose some of the data that was in the original files, but Garmin Connect will export to TCX. (Unfortunately and separately, I don't think that Garmin Connect lets you dump any comments or description you've added to the ride on their site, which means that the Garmin website remains the sole repository of such additional information.)

CramCycle

Well it has been awhile since I done something as stupid but I did and that's that.
On the way to work and the light goes green in front of me as I am approaching so I speed back up. First guy in the opposing queue turns across me, fair enough, there is plenty of time and I pull out into the centre to make sure I can just go around him if he stalls. Guy behind him stops then decides F it, I'll run in front of the cyclist, I have to slam on and swerve right to avoid him, letting out a WTF as I do so. His passenger gives me the finger with a grin.
I have shouted, no more to do, but alas no, I decide to go after him to question the reasoning. I pootled up as I know the lights he is sitting at have an age to change and I don't want to be red faced on approach.
I tap on the window and his passenger scowls at me. So I call in "I couldn't hear what you were saying as you stuck up your finger at me and drove across me at the lights back there"
His passenger winds down his window slightly and asks me "would I ever just F off", to which I reply "No, I want to know what you were saying to me as your driver attempted that idiotic F'in maneuver". He then wound down his window further and I rested my hand to lean down, to which the passenger screamed to "get your F'in hand off the car" and then he went to slam the car into me or intimidate me, not sure which. I held out my knee and he slammed it into me. And I pushed back, to keep him in, it was slowly dawning on me that the passenger was looking to have a crack at someone before we even bumped into each other. He then accused me of hitting his car, and if I dented it I was F'in dead. I then informed in a less polite tone that he had actually attempted assault, failed miserably and there were now a growing crowd of witnesses.
He then started to drive off but my stupidity grew as I shouted after them "what big f'in men you are, wouldn't even get out of your car", so he pulled in, got out, inspected his door and started gesturing for me to come over, I decided if I was going to get a slap he could have the courtesy to walk down as I wasn't walking into it. Then a lovely lady pulled in to see was I alright, I told her what they had done and that I was fine but it was probably time to leave. The guy hoped into his car while this was happening and I just left, stupidest trip ever.
Not sure why I done it, hoped I had become a better person but obviously not, it was just the smile as he rolled past and the fact that nothing would ever come of it as it would be my word against his.

doozerie

@CramCycle, I can sympathise, I've walked myself into situations which turned aggressive too, despite spotting the warning signs in advance. People that create such situations are thankfully rare, but they are not rare enough. There seems to be a particular personality type that wants trouble, some of them are even prepared to carry out their implied threats though that's certainly not always the case - they warrant only pity and derision but that doesn't prevent them from pushing the right buttons to wind someone up eliciting a reaction which they then use to justify an aggressive response.

I too find that it's easy to feel bad coming away from such an encounter but don't beat yourself up about it, everyone has a limit to the level of antagonism that they can resist rising to and that limit can differ from one day to the next.

daragh_

Illegitimi non carborundum!

CramCycle

doozerie wrote: »

I too find that it's easy to feel bad coming away from such an encounter but don't beat yourself up about it, everyone has a limit to the level of antagonism that they can resist rising to and that limit can differ from one day to the next.

I just feel a bit moronic. I also think I was right but as a guy once told me that's a great description for an EMT to A&E staff:
Staff "What happened?"
EMTs "He was in the right"

It could have went further, it didn't, I am glad I didn't walk back up to him when he called me over as I could imagine this was more of a, if anyone witnesses this any further, they will say the guy with the bike came upto him and the other guy jumped out to defend him.

More so I am glad the lady in the car pulled up to ask was I alright, she was concerned and very friendly and it seemed to calm me down immediately, I may have been more vocal/went for it (and most likely lost) if she hadn't.

rollingscone

CramCycle wrote: »

I just feel a bit moronic. I also think I was right but as a guy once told me that's a great description for an EMT to A&E staff:
Staff "What happened?"
EMTs "He was in the right"

It could have went further, it didn't, I am glad I didn't walk back up to him when he called me over as I could imagine this was more of a, if anyone witnesses this any further, they will say the guy with the bike came upto him and the other guy jumped out to defend him.

More so I am glad the lady in the car pulled up to ask was I alright, she was concerned and very friendly and it seemed to calm me down immediately, I may have been more vocal/went for it (and most likely lost) if she hadn't.

Muppets aren't known for their love of the one on one fair fight.

buffalo

doozerie blanked me on the way into work this morning.

quozl

buffalo wrote: »

doozerie blanked me on the way into work this morning.

He was probably worried that you'd witnessed his RLJ'ing.

Only reasonable explanation.

doozerie

buffalo wrote: »

doozerie blanked me on the way into work this morning.

Blanked who?

doozerie

My commuting life, as neatly summed up by The Big Lebowski:

How I try to be, on the bike:



How other road users sometimes make me feel, on the bike:

michael196

it was buffalo I met at the Wex 2 day ?

buffalo

michael196 wrote: »

it was buffalo I met at the Wex 2 day ?

Yep. My youthful good looks often catch people by surprise.

I also sent you an emall yesterday too.

doozerie

I work in a shared building whose architects probably drew the final plans in crayon, or maybe the builders were the problem, maybe the site foreman had a mate whose sister's cousin's least worst friend worked in a shop desperately trying to shift the world's worst air conditioning units for a price too hard to resist. Whatever the reason, the air conditioning and heating (handled by the same units) in this place is appalling. It's too cold in the winter and too hot in the summer.

The windows have locks, to try to prevent occupants from interfering with the aircon's valiant efforts to breed misery and discomfort. Or maybe it's to prevent occupants from throwing themselves out in preference to sitting in a puddle of their own sweat all day. Maybe both.

It took a while but additional air conditioning was eventually installed via a couple of vents in the ceiling. And a separate controller was added, which is accessible to everyone within the office, so we have some degree of "real" control over the office environment for the first time. Which has led to an unforeseen consequence - outright war.

The new air con thermostat is set to about 21C. But EmployeeA (our employer names us using letters, it's much more friendly than just allocating us numbers…) generally runs a bit hot, their preferred office attire would be flip-flops, just flip-flops. They feel the need to lower the temperature in the office. They don't need to check with anyone else, sure their comfort is paramount and their job title is "Don't you know who I *am*?", so they go at the air con controls with gusto, lowering the thermostat to 19C. EmployeeA is a do-er, a leader, a very important person.

Cue some overly dramatic shivering by EmployeeB. EmployeeB runs cold generally, they turn their house heating on full blast during the height of summer but still shiver their way around the house in their fleece-lined onesie (with the built-in socks). EmployeeB doesn't need to consult with anyone else either, their job title is "Don't *you* know who *I* am", they too are a do-er, a leader amongst drones, they turn the thermostat up to 23C.

And so on, back and forth, with the muttered expletives accompanying each thermostat change gradually being less muffled and intended to be heard by more and more people, the impression being conveyed is one of "Important person here. Being victimised. Hello-o". I sit directly under one of the newly installed vents, each adjustment results in either a cold or warm draft of air down my neck, usually whichever I least want at that particular moment in time. My job title is "I don't give a flying fcuk who you are!", I'm not a leader though, I am an underminer, so I try to outflank both warring factions by popping a window open (the window locks are sh1t too!).

And so the war wages on, the passive aggression getting less and less passive over time. Road rage has nothing on this stuff, open plan offices is where malevolence truly prospers, road rage is merely the residual aggression that overflows onto the roads each day. I hate open plan offices.

oflahero

doozerie wrote: »

I work

What?? Where do you find the time?

youwhoglue

Disable air con but leave controller working.

Sit back and watch the hilarity.

Squidgy Black

youwhoglue wrote: »

Disable air con but leave controller working.

Sit back and watch the hilarity.

Or a better thing to do, which doesn't involve you melting into water, is to leave the aircon on a neutral setting, but disconnect the controller. Then watch them fight over the settings even though nothing changes

doozerie

oflahero wrote: »

What?? Where do you find the time?

Well, after family commitments, cycling commitments, hobby commitments, rant commitments, and fighting crime commitments are all met I carve some of what little free time is left to sit at a desk and look busy. It's quite a burden, but I bear it manfully.

I sometimes feel that my employer doesn't appreciate my efforts nearly enough, particularly when it is sunny outside, I may have to insist on a salary increase soon. If I can find the time that is.

quozl

stetyrrell wrote: »

leave the aircon on a neutral setting, but disconnect the controller. Then watch them fight over the settings even though nothing changes

This is just the sort of engineering mind-set that will stand to you in your future career as a computer programmer

dreamerb

doozerie wrote: »

It took a while but additional air conditioning was eventually installed via a couple of vents in the ceiling. And a separate controller was added, which is accessible to everyone within the office, so we have some degree of "real" control over the office environment for the first time. Which has led to an unforeseen consequence - outright war.

Nah. This is actually a social health experiment which has been going on for years. I worked in such an office 15 years ago, with airconditioning so bad that when it was turned up to 25 I would start sneezing and my eyes would react, and the woman who kept turning it up that high would not listen to the local health and safety rep on his repeated explanations that it was supposed to be maintained at 21.

"But I'm cold!" she would exclaim, while wearing a light sleeveless top (winter or summer).

"Put some more effing clothes on!" I would think, with a malevolent glare, spoiled only by the fact that my reddened eyes were watering with irritation and I was wheezing like an elderly Pomeranian.

She moved to a new job before things escalated to open warfare, but I had a shamefully violent fantasy life for a while.

I'm in the happy position of having my own office these days, albeit adjoining a large open plan office. The office whistler ( :mad: ) seems to have stopped (perhaps this is the upside of low morale), but now I have to keep my door closed because of the nearby person who has no indoor voice and rarely stops talking.

Good luck in the air-con stand-off!

cdaly_

doozerie wrote: »

It took a while but additional air conditioning was eventually installed via a couple of vents in the ceiling. And a separate controller was added, which is accessible to everyone within the office, so we have some degree of "real" control over the office environment for the first time. Which has led to an unforeseen consequence - outright war.

We have an open-plan operations office with two aircon units run by two separate controllers. The usual setting is one full-on chill with the other full-on heat. On a good day we can get a sea-breeze going in there...

Darkglasses

Nobody made a "Cold War" pun? For shame.

doozerie

I had a (thankfully rare) jaysus moment this morning. No more than 150m from home an SUV reversed quickly out of a parking spot (outside a shop) just as I was passing it on my left. I had to swerve right to avoid being hit. In the midst of it all I could see the driver looking straight ahead, not even a glance to either side to see if the residential road (within a housing estate) she was reversing onto was clear. Once past her I looked back and threw my hand up in the air to suggest an exasperated "what dafuq?" and cycled on.

A few hundred metres ahead, while I was stopped at a T-junction, the SUV pulled up close behind me. As I turned onto the main road I looked at the driver as she pulled level with me. She looked cranky. I shook my head, she stopped alongside me and leaned over the child in the passenger seat to speak out the passenger window. "I apologised…", she said, which had me initially wondering when exactly she had apologised, and to whom. But she was acknowledging her mistake I thought, even if it was in slightly detached way, and I'd settle for that. But she continued in a raised voice, a voice that suggested that no response will be tolerated, with "…but the kids were screaming at me!". I bristled at the suggestion that she was merely a victim of circumstances, that she could have done nothing to prevent the near collision from happening supposedly all because of her shouty kids.

I know the stress of having a shouty child in a car, but I also know that the person controlling the car has the option of dealing with the situation safely at the side of the road, they are not obliged to send such a mobile circus careering blindly onto a public road - that's the "joy" of being the parent, as the mature adult you sometimes have the power to dictate where the battle with your kids is fought, if not how, and on public roads in moving traffic is not the place for it. She didn't seem open to discussion on the topic of what constitutes a choice that she herself made so I settled for a response of "But you didn't even look before you pulled out. And you almost hit me". "I APOLOGISED! WHAT MORE DO YOU EXPECT?" she screamed at me as she struggled to put the car into gear to drive off, apparently she can get her jalopy in gear and up to speed in a snap when the kids are screaming at her, it proves more of a challenge when they are not.

I could have left it at that, but my adrenaline was still flowing and I didn't appreciate her venting her anger on me further - I'd already been subjected to her arrogant attitude when it took the form of her choosing to drive in a manner that resulted in my nearly being hit by her car, expecting me to take an earful of whining on top of that was a bit much. So as her car lurched forward I called after her that what I expected was that she actually look, and drive carefully. Her brakes slammed on, the car jerked to a stop, I rolled forward to the passenger window again to be confronted by a very angry contorted face that looked fit to burst. She struggled to get the words out but she needn't have bothered, her face was a writhing picture of indignation and rage, even when silent it spoke a thousand words and none of them were pleasant. But she did manage to find words eventually, they included phrases like "How dare you!" and other more pointed expressions of unhappiness. Even 'rood rage would cower in the face of "angry driving mummy" rage, she was only one small step away from climbing out of the car and chasing after me with a wooden spoon. Any relevance to the original incident was long gone at this point, this was well and truly in the realm of venting her spleen and I provided a suitable target. For my part I didn't come out of this looking well either, I let her wind me up to the point that I said some things I'd rather I hadn't, particularly given that there were kids in the car too. So there was no resolution whatsoever, just increased frustration all round.

What bothers me most about the whole thing is that she felt justified in using her circumstances, of shouty kids, as an excuse for some appalling driving. She might as well have just said "the kids made me do it, too bad for you but its not *my* fault". It's the same mindset that fuels the attitude that actions can be casually excused because they were somehow beyond the control of the person who took them e.g. "I broke the red light because I had to be somewhere in a hurry", "I parked on the blind bend because the proper parking spaces are too far away to walk comfortably to and from them", "I pulled out in front of you because I'd been waiting for a proper gap in traffic for ages already", etc. Those arguments don't excuse ignorant and sometimes dangerous behaviour, they are just lazy attempts try to side-step personal responsibility by claiming that your choices were dictated to you by circumstances, which is rubbish.

The woman this morning wasn't accepting responsibility for nearly hitting me, which gave me no confidence that she'd behave differently in the same circumstances next time. I subsequently encountered a guy in the same mould, who drive off with no indicator whatsoever from an illegally parked position (in a bus lane) as I overtook him, and then seemed to get offended when I suggested he look and indicate. Bah! Friday is supposed to be a happy casual day, can we just start this one again?

buffalo

doozerie wrote: »

apparently she can get her jalopy in gear and up to speed in a snap when the kids are screaming at her, it proves more of a challenge when they are not.

A shouting doozerie must be worse than a carful of screaming kids!

CramCycle

Dear 46A DB driver between UCD and Stillorgan this afternoon at approx 3:30.

Your a ****.

I have been buzzed before but the fact that your bus clipped my elbow while I was going in a straight line and then you pulled in, means your a f'in twit, who was also breaking the speed limit considerably. If I had wobbled or was less experienced, I could well be dead right now, I hope you enjoyed your joke, well worth it I imagine.

its been awhile since I have been so shocked that I could not respond.

I hate you and wish I had gotten more of your plate than 07-D.

The bus behind you though to balance things was driven by a respectable driver who when I looked behind, waved, smiled and used the lane beside me to overtake with no delay to his day.

dermabrasion

wow