Buffalo & Doozerie - The mild musings of two grumpy old men!

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The n11 is a disaster. I am on it every day and I don't notice really close passes anymore, only when I am run off the road. Same couple of stretches of it too.
I seriously think that a broken line on the road on the left hand side of the bus lane is the best way. Off road cycle paths are really badly maintained if at all, badly designed (spit you out onto left turning traffic, this is still being done, see Fosters avenue junction. This was only done this year. I hold out no hope for the new wedge of cycle lanes they're claiming to be put in) and that's even if you can get onto them at a junction in the first place.
So to avoid this badly designed and dangerous infrastructure you have to cycle in the bus lane, which is where 99% of my close calls come, from bus companies pushing you of it because they see it as inconsiderate you don't use the cycle lane. So a dotted line or no cycle lane at all is preferable to what is here and being put in at the minute.

Word needs to be spread, signs put up or something in bus garages that it is legal to not cycle in the cycle lane. And indeed in smaller writing underneath why it is dangerous to do so. Maybe a guerrilla style safety poster putting up is in order, where you sneak into bus garages on stealth bikes and plaster posters up and leave…:pac:)

rollingscone

gadetra wrote: »

The n11 is a disaster. I am on it every day and I don't notice really close passes anymore, only when I am run off the road. Same couple of starches of it too.
I seriously think that a broken line on the road on the left hand side of the bus lane is the best way. Off road cycle paths are really badly maintained if at all, badly designed (spit you out onto left turning traffic, this is still being done, see Fosters avenue junction. This was only done this year. I hold out no hope for the new wedge of cycle lanes they're claiming to be put in) and that's even if you can get onto them at a junction in the first place.
So to avoid this badly designed and dangerous infrastructure you have to cycle in the bus lane, which is where 99% of my close calls come, from bus companies pushing you of it because they see it as inconsiderate you don't use the cycle lane. So a dotted line or no cycle lane at all is preferable to what is here and being put in at the minute.

Word needs to be spread, signs put up or something in bus garages that it is legal to not cycle in the cycle lane. And indeed in smaller writing underneath why it is dangerous to do so. Maybe a guerrilla style safety poster putting up is in order, where you sneak into bus garages on stealth bikes and plaster posters up and leave…:pac:)

This just in Gadetra to organise group buy of Chinese Carbon 'Stealth' frames.

eeeee

rollingscone wrote: »

This just in Gadetra to organise group buy of Chinese Carbon 'Stealth' frames.

I'll do the bikes and leave it to you to order the kit. Rapha balaclavas?

dreamerb

Yesterday:
Dear Mr. Man on the Scott: I don't much mind you moving out beside me to the right at the red light, southbound, on Harold's Cross Bridge. That's what the advance stop line seems to recommend for cyclists there. I *do* mind when, taking off from the lights, you decide to move back in sharply to the left without looking, particularly since I was moving faster than you. *

Dear female passenger numpty in the 04 TN car: howling out the window while passing a cyclist is not as funny as your ensuing shriek of laughter would seem to suggest. **

On the positive side, a couple more women on the route yesterday going reasonably fast. One was on a very nice green steel-framed road bike who I was trying very hard to keep pace with (but not draft) for a couple of km, and another just behind me (didn't see the bike) though I think I was dropping her until I slowed on reaching home. There are a few regular female cyclists on my route but mostly of the slow-on-heavy-bikes variety, so that made a pleasant change.

Today:
Dear crivit cycle computer: why oh why did you have to stop working today? I know I made the 4 km journey in under 12 minutes despite getting stopped at no fewer than 4 red lights on my route, so should have upped my average speed a fraction. (sensor doesn't appear to be registering. Grr).

* Actually, this is a tricky one. I don't think I was technically undertaking him since we were both moving off from a standing start. But from the look on his face when I emitted an "Oy" to warn him he was about to cycle into me, he seemed to think I shouldn't have been there. Anyone have a helpful opinion on etiquette and rules here?

** Definitely wasn't a yell of protect at anything I had done. There weren't even any words. First time I've encountered that in a very long time.

stecleary

Dear stupid tramp in your UK registered audi that I see every morning.
I didn't pull out in front of you, you were at a red light and I used the ASL, And this certainly doesn't allow you to near mirror clip me and shout abuse, or allow you to close the windows and try ignore me at the next red light 20 yards away. I really hope the garda who just received a friendly phone call for me sends a customs officer your way

doozerie

My commute this morning was more eventful than usual. It started at the crossroads where I parted ways with my wife and daughter. The driver of a large newly registered BMW was so keen to get to where he wanted to go that he decided to roll through the green pedestrian light so that he could take the right turn at the first whiff of a green light. He simply didn’t concern himself with the pedestrian light at all. I imagine pedestrians themselves didn’t concern him much either, but thankfully my family managed to cross the road without incident.

I caught up with him later, the humble bicycle proving yet again to be superior to any car in Dublin traffic. So I saw him as he swerved into the bus lane to undertake traffic along one stretch of road. He succeeded in getting past a grand total of one car before muscling his way back into the correct lane again. Maybe that counted as a victory to him, it might even have been the high point of his day. Meanwhile I, and several other cyclists, rolled past him and left him still sitting in traffic. Bicycle wins again.

Having overtaken several cyclists I pulled up at a red light. One of the cyclists, a guy with apparently more hinges in his legs and arms than nature ever intended, rolled past and pulled in about a bike length in front of me. Great. Another cyclist, rolled alongside to my right and stopped in the pedestrian crossing with her back wheel overlapping my front. Just as our light changed green a third cyclist rolled past to my left between me and the kerb, to complete the sense of being boxed in on 3 sides. Fantastic.

Mr. Hinges rode off, his funny dance of swivelling knees, ankles, and elbows would have been entertaining if it weren’t for the stupid circumstances. Woman cyclist to my right moved uncertainly in to slot in behind him and on top of me. Woman cyclist to my left wibbled and wobbled as she tried to avoid hitting the kerb. This is what the zombie apocalypse would feel like, I imagine, if all the zombies were incompetent zombies. I accelerated through the centre, much to the annoyance of the zombie to my right, and fled.

A short while later I encountered the driver of a tiny little car, who seemed to feel so intimidated by the bus in the lane to his right that he swerved left into the cycle track right in front of me. It really was a tiny car, if he is going to react like that to every vehicle larger than his he will not fare well in traffic, nor will anyone near him.

Onto Clanbrassil Street, with its queue of cars in the right lane, and largely empty bus lane. A man in an SUV pulled into the bus lane and accelerated up the road. It was still bus lane about 1km later when he cut a very gentle bend in the road by pulling left into the cycle lane right in front of me. He stopped behind a taxi, I pulled up alongside him. He opened his window, phone in his hand. I asked if he realised he’d been driving in a bus lane. “Are you the police?” he answered, proving yet again that you can dress the child in a suit and give him an expensive car, but you still can’t stop the childish petulance from pouring out.

“Yes, I am”, I replied, “and I’ve taken your details and I’ll be providing them to my colleagues when I get to the station”. I only gave it as a ridiculous response to a stupid question but the effect was great. His smug facial expression noticeably dimmed, it was now mixed with a hint of genuine shock and possibly even fear. He was stumped for words. I rode off, the faint sense of a tiny moral victory in the air. I did subsequently report him too, to TrafficWatch, hopefully one of my “colleagues” will put him through a nerve wracking conversation over that phone he seemed so attached to.

The sense of satisfaction from that particular altercation lasted only as far as the North Quays, where a taxi driver pulled out in front of me from being parked on the left. I thought he might he aiming for the inner/bus lane, but no, he drove right across to the middle lane, meaning I had to swerve across two lanes to avoid a collision. May you find yourself locked inside your taxi with nothing but Joe Duffy on your radio for the entire day, you utter clown! After all, I’m “the police” you know!

nomdeboardie

dreamerb wrote: »

Yesterday:
Dear Mr. Man on the Scott: I don't much mind you moving out beside me to the right at the red light, southbound, on Harold's Cross Bridge. That's what the advance stop line seems to recommend for cyclists there. I *do* mind when, taking off from the lights, you decide to move back in sharply to the left without looking, particularly since I was moving faster than you. ...

Ha - I was thinking of adding a query about that in my letter to the RSA the other day, but decided that things were getting too complicated. I think I remember a thread on shoaling where there was a bit of disagreement or uncertainty about whether this was part of the 'shoaling' problem. Bit of a difficult decision sometimes; I almost always hang back and 'queue', even though I know things may be awkward for me if I can accelerate faster than the cyclist in front when the lights turn. Shoalers definitely need to be aware of what the 'advanced stop zone incumbent' is doing.

stecleary wrote: »

Dear stupid tramp in your UK registered audi that I see every morning.
I didn't pull out in front of you, you were at a red light and I used the ASL, And this certainly doesn't allow you to near mirror clip me and shout abuse, or allow you to close the windows and try ignore me at the next red light 20 yards away. I really hope the garda who just received a friendly phone call for me sends a customs officer your way

C'mon RSA - hurry up with that ASL ad for me!

doozerie

I was stopped at a red light this morning, I was stationary there for at least 30 seconds before I felt a thump on my back wheel. I looked around and the guy on a bicycle behind me just looked back at me with a “What?” expression.

I asked had he not seen me, directly in front of him? No answer, just a disbelieving shake of the head. I asked had he not seen the red light and anticipated that I might actually stop. “What? I only touched your wheel!” he said, crankily. This fell some way short of the acknowledgement I expected, I wasn’t expecting him to gush forth with an apology, just some kind of equivalent of “Oops!” would have been fine, anything to indicate that riding into stopped obstacles directly in front of him was not just standard practice while on his bike so I wouldn’t have to explicitly watch out for him at every subsequent light.

I’m not sure what triggered it, perhaps it was the incredulous shake of my head, but he launched into a very dramatic performance. The loud “Get OOVVEEERRR yourself, maaannn!” was ironic, coming from someone who clearly hadn’t got over himself. The even louder “Ooooo, look at meeee, I’m a little kid!” was ironic, coming from someone acting like a little kid. Etc. Somewhere on his person was a mood dial set to “Drama Queen - Level: Hysterical”.

He wound me up, I must admit, someone doing something blatantly stupid and then throwing a hissy fit and doing their best to demean the person who points out their stupid actions to them isn’t exactly carrying their weight under the usual conventions of social responsibility. I’m not sure when you should reasonably be able to expect that people take responsibility for their actions - after puberty? After voting age? This guy was certainly beyond voting age, whether he has passed through puberty yet is open to debate.

Unfortunately this guy is representative of many obnoxious/inconsiderate people on (and off) the roads, who not only care nothing about how their actions impact on others but, worse still, expect those others to just sheepishly accept the consequences without question or suffer a tirade of childish abuse if they don’t. It was tedious dealing with such people when we were all in primary school, their unchanged behaviour is even less rational and less excusable in adulthood. Most of us make an effort not to be an utter arse as adults, we may sometimes fail but at least we try. To the person this morning, and those like him, for your own sakes, and everyone else’s: Just. Grow. Up.

…bah, my dramatic exit is ruined by the lack of a door to slam. Curse your virtual rooms Internet!

lennymc

doozerie wrote: »

“What? I only touched your wheel!”

Someone once repeatedly kicked a ball towards my parked car. When confronted he suggested that he only tipped the car with the ball. I suggested I would only tip his head with a hammer. Haven't seen him since.

buffalo

doozerie wrote: »

I’m not sure what triggered it, perhaps it was the incredulous shake of my head, but he launched into a very dramatic performance. The loud “Get OOVVEEERRR yourself, maaannn!” was ironic, coming from someone who clearly hadn’t got over himself. The even louder “Ooooo, look at meeee, I’m a little kid!” was ironic, coming from someone acting like a little kid. Etc. Somewhere on his person was a mood dial set to “Drama Queen - Level: Hysterical”.

I think I would've let the air out of his tyres at this point.


Girlfriend's sister was rear-ended by a taxi while she was stopped at a red light during the week. The car jerked forward and gave her a bump. Clipped in as she was, she fell over. A couple of passers-by made sure she was alright.

The taxi driver didn't even get out of his car.

CramCycle

lennymc wrote: »

Haven't seen him since.

Not suggesting anything untoward but has anyone seen him since? :eek:

youwhoglue

I love this thread, it makes me feel great, stupid, happy, angry....and not alone. All at once.

dreamerb

On the way home yesterday I got stuck behind a slow cyclist with a stream of motor traffic to my right heading in the same direction, so I sat in behind and waited until there was a safe gap in the traffic before overtaking. Such considerations clearly didn't even occur to the hi-vis covered nitwit who decided he was going to overtake me squeezing through a "gap" with only inches between me and him and him and the car to his right. Git. Numptyishness like this is not that unusual but it really bugs me.

This morning, I was exceptionally bleary for no particularly obvious reason, and traffic was heavier than usual also for no particularly obvious reason. Instead of having a nice brisk invigorating cycle in, I spent some time reflecting on the DCC aim of having a "green wave" of lights for those travelling at somewhere around bicycle speed. I had plenty of time to do so at the *eight* red lights I got stopped at out of the 15 on my short commute. That's not even counting the two I slowed for but turned flashing amber or green as I reached them.

CramCycle

A warning to those who fix punctures. Don't use Park tools "Super" patches. They are self adhesive, easier and quicker to patch but, far more importantly, not a patch (pun intended) on old school vulcanised rubber solution and tip top patches.

rollingscone

dreamerb wrote: »

On the way home yesterday I got stuck behind a slow cyclist with a stream of motor traffic to my right heading in the same direction, so I sat in behind and waited until there was a safe gap in the traffic before overtaking. Such considerations clearly didn't even occur to the hi-vis covered nitwit who decided he was going to overtake me squeezing through a "gap" with only inches between me and him and him and the car to his right. Git. Numptyishness like this is not that unusual but it really bugs me.

This morning, I was exceptionally bleary for no particularly obvious reason, and traffic was heavier than usual also for no particularly obvious reason. Instead of having a nice brisk invigorating cycle in, I spent some time reflecting on the DCC aim of having a "green wave" of lights for those travelling at somewhere around bicycle speed. I had plenty of time to do so at the *eight* red lights I got stopped at out of the 15 on my short commute. That's not even counting the two I slowed for but turned flashing amber or green as I reached them.

Hi Vis continues to be the uniform of dangerous numpties. Thanks in no small part to the RSAs continued promotion of the magic cloak effect.

CramCycle

rollingscone wrote: »

Hi Vis continues to be the uniform of dangerous numpties. Thanks in no small part to the RSAs continued promotion of the magic cloak effect.

Too generalise, Blue Altura jackets set off alarm bells whenever they are near, I see one, I know that I am about to witness a new found level of stupidity.

doozerie

I was track standing in the left lane at the junction of Hume Street and Stephen's Green today. There was a green light for turning right, but I was waiting for the green to turn left. I was waiting for a couple of minutes or so, occasional traffic in the right lane taking their right turn, when a taxi literally skimmed past me, in my lane, to take the right turn.

I don't know what speed he was doing, it seemed high but I guess that any speed seems high when a vehicle gets that close to you. I don't believe for a moment that he was a good enough driver to know that he wasn't going to connect with my bike, and if I'd wobbled even slightly I was screwed regardless of his driving (in)ability.

I've no idea whether he was simply oblivious to how close he was to another road user, or whether he deliberately tried to give me a fright (in which case he succeeded and his nasty little life was presumably momentarily more bearable). In either case he clearly does not deserve a driving license, and particuarly one which allows him to shuttle the unwary public around in his own personal demolition derby. And if it was deliberate on his part then he deserves a hard kick square up the hole too, I only wish I'd had the opportunity to administer it.

rollingscone

CramCycle wrote: »

Too generalise, Blue Altura jackets set off alarm bells whenever they are near, I see one, I know that I am about to witness a new found level of stupidity.

And lo, as it was written, I did see it. The wearer of the Blue Altura Jacket did jump the red light and shoot through the pedestrian crossing as I set foot on the road. Amen.

(Also, we was wearing what looked like either a very tall skateboarding helmet, or something from 1920s American football)

quozl

CramCycle wrote: »

Too generalise, Blue Altura jackets set off alarm bells whenever they are near, I see one, I know that I am about to witness a new found level of stupidity.

Oh dear. A fair proportion of the Bargain Threads followers bought a much reduced Altura jacket a few months ago.

I even bought it in blue!

So, I think we can blame boards for this phenomenon.

Bloggsie

doozerie wrote: »

I was track standing in the left lane at the junction of Hume Street and Stephen's Green today. There was a green light for turning right, but I was waiting for the green to turn left. I was waiting for a couple of minutes or so, occasional traffic in the right lane taking their right turn, when a taxi literally skimmed past me, in my lane, to take the right turn.

I don't know what speed he was doing, it seemed high but I guess that any speed seems high when a vehicle gets that close to you. I don't believe for a moment that he was a good enough driver to know that he wasn't going to connect with my bike, and if I'd wobbled even slightly I was screwed regardless of his driving (in)ability.

I've no idea whether he was simply oblivious to how close he was to another road user, or whether he deliberately tried to give me a fright (in which case he succeeded and his nasty little life was presumably momentarily more bearable). In either case he clearly does not deserve a driving license, and particuarly one which allows him to shuttle the unwary public around in his own personal demolition derby. And if it was deliberate on his part then he deserves a hard kick square up the hole too, I only wish I'd had the opportunity to administer it.

morning doozerie, karma is a bitch & will chew that numpty up one day. with some good fortune, you will be on hand to witness it and pee your self laughing, not just pee your self cos your waterworks are messed up from 1 scare on the bike to many!

CramCycle

Odd experience on the way up the GC cyle path yesterday. I overtook a lady going slower than me just before Baggot St. She overtook me while i stopped at the lights. I am used to that, thought nothing of it. I overtook her again before Baggot St. and stopped but she pulled in front of me and another cyclist. Thought nothing of it. At the next lights I was just behind an Orwellian and she came up beside us, on the opposing traffic side. Happened again at the next lights but this time, I slowed as its a pretty horrible junction where cyclists and peds seem to mix and she rode into my handlebar and nearly knocked me. She said sorry as I shouted Jebus in shock. I was shouting in shock as i thought I was going over for a second but she turned on me, "I said sorry, what else can I do, theres no need to be abusive", I explained I was shouting at the shock, not at her, she had nearly knocked me and I got a bit of a fright. Anyway she done it again at the next lights but this time she left hooked myself and the orwellian as she ran the red.

I am ashamed of myself because I should have stopped, told her that sorry wasn't good enough, and she should just F off back to wherever she came from, and keep an eye out for the basic manners that she lost somewhere along the way but I didn't. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, its just the complete lack of manners or recognition of other peoples existence that is a bug bear.

NeedMoreGears

CramCycle wrote: »

I am ashamed of myself ....

Go 'way out of that. You know she's a tool. You know you're not.

Would you really have felt much better if you had told her to eff off (after the first few seconds anyway)?

Paddigol

D'ya know what always fascinates/ disturbs/ plagues me... The thought that people like that still go about their daily lives. It's doubtful that they become mentalists as soon as they strap on their hi-viz and pedal out their driveway. That incident surely is just a manifestation of her personality. And that's what fascinates me - she's probably oblivious to the fact that she's a menace; probably didn't even give the incident further thought; and probably acts like that in every dealing she has with other people - "I'm right and don't you dare suggest otherwise". I really would like to follow them around for a few days just to see what life as a complete and utter @€;&!#%* must be like. How does she order her roll at the deli counter for example?

CramCycle

Paddigol wrote: »

How does she order her roll at the deli counter for example?

I imagine she waltzes to the top of the queue, tried to order and when someone calls her on it she tells them "sorry but there is no need to be rude/aggressive" and then finishes her order.

Darkglasses

CramCycle wrote: »

I imagine she waltzes to the top of the queue, tried to order and when someone calls her on it she tells them "sorry but there is no need to be rude/aggressive" and then finishes her order.

And if all else fails, "i'm a woman on my own!"

CramCycle

NeedMoreGears wrote: »

Go 'way out of that. You know she's a tool. You know you're not.

Would you really have felt much better if you had told her to eff off (after the first few seconds anyway)?

Depends with the level of panache I delivered the line, its that excruciating moment, a few minutes later when you realise what you should have said, how you should have said it, and how disappointed you are that the person annoyed you so much you did not or could not think of it at the time.

nomdeboardie

Reminds me a bit of the time a group of footpad cyclists just ahead decided to ‘drop down’ without a glance back onto the road practically on top of me. No contact or anything, but I made a non-aggressive comment about the danger, to which I got a shocked:eek:-and-hurt:(-sounding “Oh, very polite”. (I hadn’t been swearing or anything – honest! :pac:) I generally move out a bit on the road passing foodpadders these days...

buffalo

CramCycle wrote: »

Depends with the level of panache I delivered the line, its that excruciating moment, a few minutes later when you realise what you should have said, how you should have said it, and how disappointed you are that the person annoyed you so much you did not or could not think of it at the time.

L'esprit de l'escalier

NeedMoreGears

CramCycle wrote: »

Depends with the level of panache I delivered the line, its that excruciating moment, a few minutes later when you realise what you should have said, how you should have said it, and how disappointed you are that the person annoyed you so much you did not or could not think of it at the time.

'know what you mean - been there done that.

There must be a stock put down out there - not too clever so that your intended recipient won't understand it (and there is a risk of that given the folk you'll need it for) - and yet just perfect for conveying your contempt/vague disappointment with the world/it doesn't really bother me. Perhaps a version of the Simpsons' "Meh!".

My starter for ten is "Really?" and then cycle off. But there has to be (much) better out there.

Answers on a post card......

eeeee

NeedMoreGears wrote: »

My starter for ten is "Really?" and then cycle off. But there has to be (much) better out there.

Answers on a post card......

Mine is an unintelligible combination of fcuking hell/jesus christ/fcuk sake/argh all at the one time. My brain can't quite decide on the correct expletive so goes for all of them at the one time, which comes out as jeeeefcukkkkkistrrrgh. I think I should try to train myself to go for a less sweaty reaction to wtf situations. Like shouting pineapple at them or something. So you have a moment when they stop to think 'did she just say pineapple to me?' and hit them with an as yet undiscovered deadly line. compounded expletives it is for the next while anyway!