Buffalo & Doozerie - The mild musings of two grumpy old men!

De Bhál

I'm pretty sure they're not reading this forum.

Also sounds like we have a similar route. I enjoy it in the morning but dislike it in the evening.

doozerie

De Bhál wrote: »

I'm pretty sure they're not reading this forum.

Why? I see so many cyclists do utterly stupid and obnoxious stuff every day that I think it's highly likely they are represented here.

Mind you, I think it's also likely that many of them don't recognise their behaviour for what it really is so wouldn't identify with any of the stuff I wrote which, of course, is a huge part of the problem.

De Bhál

doozerie wrote: »

Why? I see so many cyclists do utterly stupid and obnoxious stuff every day that I think it's highly likely they are represented here.

Mind you, I think it's also likely that many of them don't recognise their behaviour for what it really is so wouldn't identify with any of the stuff I wrote which, of course, is a huge part of the problem.

Well from what I see it's, in the main anyway, not the seasoned commuting cyclist that's doing the crazy stuff but the person on the crap cheap mountain bike type thing. These usually have next to no lights, wear dark clothes and really just see themselves as fast moving pedestrians. They don't see themselves as cyclists so that's why I doubt they'd be on here.
Of course the self aware cyclists pull some mad stuff too but I'm just going on what I see.
Don't know if I'm making sense there.
Keep up the reports I enjoy them.

doozerie

De Bhál wrote: »

Well from what I see it's, in the main anyway, not the seasoned commuting cyclist that's doing the crazy stuff but the person on the crap cheap mountain bike type thing. These usually have next to no lights, wear dark clothes and really just see themselves as fast moving pedestrians. They don't see themselves as cyclists so that's why I doubt they'd be on here.
Of course the self aware cyclists pull some mad stuff too but I'm just going on what I see.
Don't know if I'm making sense there.
Keep up the reports I enjoy them.

In my opinion there is no recognisable sub-category of person on a bike that accounts for the majority of the muppetry. I see the same faces doing stuff day in day out - both sexes, any age, many nationalities, in cycling kit or not, riding slow or fast, with kids or not, etc.

I'm sure that some of them don't see themselves as cyclists, and amongst other things that's perhaps a problem in the same way that people behave abroad in a way they wouldn't at home because they choose to believe different social rules apply when they are away from their "norm'.

I'm also sure that some of them do see themselves as cyclists, and that's arguably more worrying as they seem to believe that using a bicycle automatically puts them outside the rules of the road and basically beyond any sense of social responsibility.

It's the same as in any area of life I guess, some people just see everyone or everything else as "the problem" without recognising themselves as being part of it so they never address their own behaviour. Whether it's the motorist who moans about the traffic jams even as they position themselves at the back of a stopped line of cars in the middle of a junction, the taxi driver who moans about the bus lanes being blocked by parked cars even as they park their own car in a cycle lane, the people who complain about Irish tax exiles not paying their way even as they themselves negotiate cash/VAT free prices for work on their own house, or the cyclist who moans about the dangers to cyclists of cars even as they themselves run a red light at speed and weave between crossing pedestrians.

I have to assume that these people are aware of at least some of their antisocial behaviour on the roads but conveniently categorise it as somehow acceptable - so maybe they consider it bad form to, say, cycle between elderly pedestrians but perfectly okay to do that to younger pedestrians. They choose not to recognise that, just like it's not really possible to dig half a hole, it's also not really possible to be half an arsehole.

doozerie

Another interesting commute home this evening. I was balancing the bike at a red light on Merrion Road Upper, as ever people shoaled past me left and right, the apparent need to be in front of everyone else overriding any other consideration.

One guy on a bike rolled slowly past me, close to my left arm, clearly not a fan of the concept of personal space. He turned his front wheel to roll into the (lack of) space in front of my front wheel, even more slowly now. He was leaning ever closer towards me. And then he basically fell over. In what seemed like the long space of time between the start of his topple (towards me) and his eventual flopping out of his right foot to save himself, I'd decided that when he inevitably knocked me over too I'd do everything in my power to land directly on him - I'm small but I'm pointy, he wouldn't enjoy it. But his lazy foot saved the day, thankfully.

So Mr I'dFallOffTheFloor gathered himself and pushed on into the space ahead of me as if nothing had happened. The lights went green and he wibbled and wobbled and wibbled some more before I got round him. I called him a clown as I went past. He didn't laugh. He was a rubbish clown. He subsequently broke several sets of red lights and I hoped I'd seen the last of him.

Further on, as I approached Terenure I found myself behind a buy in GAA shorts. A smell of distressed BO staggered past my face, trying to escape itself. Jaysus, was that yer man? No, it couldn't be, out there in the fresh air surely nobody stank enough that their smell could travel the 2 metres to someone behind them. But there it was again, a congealing cloud of stench. I debated getting past Mr I'dMakeAMaggotGag but we were approaching a red light ahead and I reckoned it was safer to hang back as far as I could rather than get there ahead of him and have him squelch his way up alongside me.

So I kept back. Then he raised himself out of the saddle, and the combination of visuals (GAA shorts + hairy legs), another wave of stench, and my masochistic brain's posturing on the source of the smell nearly cost me my lunch. I stopped several metres back from him at the lights. Moments later Mr I'dFallOffTheFloor rode past and stopped beside Mr I'dMakeAMaggotGag. The dream team, united in antisocial harmony. Mr I'dFallOffTheFloor seemed to have discovered the merits of respecting the personal space of others all of a sudden.

The lights went green for us only for Mr OuttaMeFookinWay to blast through his red light and right through the junction in his white van. Then we all squelched, wobbled, and staggered our way onwards, thankfully my route was different to theirs.

doozerie

I was leaving work one evening this week when someone jokingly commented "nice bright clothes I see". I was wearing a black top, dark grey trousers, and a black hat.

The thing is though, he was wearing all black clothes himself, and he was walking home, which involves crossing several roads, not all of which have pedestrian lights (as if pedestrian lights are any kind of guarantee of safety). I was hopping on a bike with extremely bright lights, he had no lights, I reckon I was the one with the safer commute ahead of me.

It was just a casual remark on his part, there was nothing more to it than that, but for me it highlights the misconception that people have of the supposed danger of cycling. People are rubbish at assessing risk.

Thud

doozerie wrote: »

I was leaving work one evening this week when someone jokingly commented "nice bright clothes I see". I was wearing a black top, dark grey trousers, and a black hat.

The thing is though, he was wearing all black clothes himself, and he was walking home, which involves crossing several roads, not all of which have pedestrian lights (as if pedestrian lights are any kind of guarantee of safety). I was hopping on a bike with extremely bright lights, he had no lights, I reckon I was the one with the safer commute ahead of me.

It was just a casual remark on his part, there was nothing more to it than that, but for me it highlights the misconception that people have of the supposed danger of cycling. People are rubbish at assessing risk.

I call those ninjas, they especially like to dart out from behind parked cars when it's raining and visibility is bad, getting wet is obviously worse than getting run down

doozerie

Thud wrote: »

I call those ninjas, they especially like to dart out from behind parked cars when it's raining and visibility is bad, getting wet is obviously worse than getting run down

I've had a few such incidents recently, with pedestrians walking or running out in front of me either without looking or without caring about the danger they are creating. There is nothing in itself wrong with wearing dark clothes, whether for walking, cycling, or even driving, as far as I am concerned, it's the behaviour that matters most.

So cycling in pitch black darkness while wearing dark clothes is a perfectly reasonable thing to do *if* you put decent lights on your bike to make yourself visible and *if* you don't cycle like a loon. Similarly, walking around in the dark in dark clothes is fine too, *if* you don't behave in a way that makes you a hazard to others such as throwing yourself in front of moving vehicles, other pedestrians, etc.

As a society though we seem to immediately assume the worst of everyone. So we see someone hopping on a bike at nighttime while wearing dark clothes and we don't bother wondering whether they have good lights on their bike, we just instantly categorise them as irresponsible and dangerous. I'm not sure whether that attitude is fuelled more by laziness, not wanting to stretch our brains to consider that maybe they'll make an effort to be well lit, or by a deeply held bias against cyclists/whoever generally. Maybe both.

As an example of getting it completely wrong, I was in the car last night and saw a cyclist ahead. He had a very weak rear light, but when the car headlights fell on him it was clear that his jacket was one of the new ones that are very good at reflecting light so it was suddenly incredibly bright. Personally I'd go for a much better light any day as I want to be very visible *before* I find myself in the beams of car headlights, but at least he did actually have a light and wasn't relying entirely on his jacket.

Anyway, he came to a red traffic light and rolled past the stop line and partly into the junction. The junction is laid out with traffic islands to control traffic, they basically turn the junction into a chicane, he effectively and entirely unnecessarily put himself in a position which made it difficult for oncoming cars to squeeze past him. So he created a stupid risk for himself. The light went green and he turned right, without signalling, across the path of the now moving car behind him. He was certainly very bright as the car's headlights picked out his jacket as he wobbled slowly across in front of it, maybe that would have been some consolation to anyone that would have had to scrape him off the road if the car driver hadn't taken steps to avoid running him before.

I'd be curious to know whether, in his own head, he is a conscientious and considerate road user. From my perspective he behaved like the complete opposite of that, and his hi-viz jacket did nothing to mitigate that impression.

check_six

Cycling home last night I was catching another cyclist and there was a car to the right. I didn't fancy the gap the car was leaving and slowed down. This was just as well as the car started to drift to the left and the gap to me and the cyclist in front of me was disappearing. I had a look in the window to see what was going on, and sure enough, the driver was composing a text message on his phone. Then the car drifted off to the right and the danger passed, but it's interesting to note that he nearly clattered two cyclists for the price of one for the sake of a text message. "They came from nowhere!"

Another weird observation this morning. Car pulled in outside shop. Then a flatbed van went to park in front of it. The van pulled in a bit sharply and clattered the front wing of the car. The van driver hopped out and walked into the shop. Then the car driver hopped out and strolled in unperturbed. I'm pretty sure of what I saw. There was a crunch and the van hopped up. Maybe I just hallucinated the whole thing?! Very strange.

rollingscone

Nearly hit a pedestrian this morning. Was passing a bus that had pulled in on top of me and checking to my left before pulling back in, when I looked ahead again there was a scruffy teenager standing in the middle of the traffic lane in his school uniform.

Only the fact that I was travelling at proceed with caution speed saved me. Made me feel better about not being one of the cool ultra extreme hardcore mega, athletic super cyclists constantly zipping past me when I slow down to assess the situation ahead.

buffalo

Next year I'm getting lighter presents for everyone...

Ryath

buffalo wrote: »

Next year I'm getting lighter presents for everyone...

The real solution is another bike!

Qualitymark

I've come to the conclusion that the red-light-breaking cyclists and texting, dooring, squashing, turning-without-looking, speeding drivers and zombie walkers are all rushing to Holles Street.

mathie

Coming in on the cycle path on the coast road in Dublin and about 8 joggers were taking up the whole of the cycle path.
(There's a path for pedestrians on the other side of the grass about 30 metres away)

I pointed out that it was for cyclists and was told "Ah its ok"

Are cyclepaths just for cyclists?

CramCycle

De Bhál wrote: »

Well from what I see it's, in the main anyway, not the seasoned commuting cyclist that's doing the crazy stuff but the person on the crap cheap mountain bike type thing. These usually have next to no lights, wear dark clothes and really just see themselves as fast moving pedestrians. They don't see themselves as cyclists so that's why I doubt they'd be on here.
Of course the self aware cyclists pull some mad stuff too but I'm just going on what I see.
Don't know if I'm making sense there.
Keep up the reports I enjoy them.

I have found that the apparent seasoned commuting cyclist is on average as mentally capable as the BSO mountain bike things. Both groups have a number of members where if a smart idea were to strike them it might knock them stone dead from shock.

mathie wrote: »

Are cyclepaths just for cyclists?

Of course not, they are also for, but not limited to, the following:
- parking
- walking
- jogging
- undertaking cars that are not moving fast enough so you can catch up with stalled traffic
- broken glass
- the debris that the road sweepers don't want to risk picking up
- slippy drain covers
- lampposts
- bins
- road signage
- drop off points for children going to school
- phone calls
- drop offs to the pub/shop/dry cleaners etc.
- People with Beatz headphones

Seve OB

mathie wrote: »

Coming in on the cycle path on the coast road in Dublin and about 8 joggers were taking up the whole of the cycle path.
(There's a path for pedestrians on the other side of the grass about 30 metres away)

I pointed out that it was for cyclists and was told "Ah its ok"

Are cyclepaths just for cyclists?

Go straight for them, head down and charge like a bull

mind you, on the filp side, last week, phoenix park, 2 gob****e cyclists going down the main avenue in the middle of the road. I can forgive them for not using the cycle lane, but there was nothing in the hard shoulder at all, and it's a brand new road, so not as if a poor surface and it is about 2-3 meters wide.... but oh no, these muppets just wanted to hold all the traffic up and cycle down the centre of the bloody road

Qualitymark

Seve OB wrote: »

Go straight for them, head down and charge like a bull

Cyclepaths are for psychopaths?

Alek

these muppets just wanted to hold all the traffic up and cycle down the centre of the bloody road

Great, here we go again.

Cyclists. Are. Traffic.


(I very often go in the middle of the road there, as going 40kph+ on the cycle path is simply irresponsible)

OleRodrigo

Alek wrote: »

Great, here we go again.

Cyclists. Are. Traffic.


(I very often go in the middle of the road there, as going 40kph+ on the cycle path is simply irresponsible)

Ah, the Wishbone Ash technique of turning an innocuous post into a bragging opportunity.

Carry on, it's entertaining!

Alek

C'mon, its a little downhill southbound!

stecleary

Seemed to be an evening for excessively slow cycling, 3 abreast crossing the Sam Beckett bridge at about 10kmh, no where to pass them and missed a green light because of them, passed them at the lights, half way down Seville place caught a lady cycling with one hand in her pocket along side stopped traffic slower than the 3 twonks a couple of hundred meters back.
Next up was the person who decided stopping to answer his phone in cycle lane on the malahide rd and then my personal favourite, the idiot that takes the phrase taking the lane to a whole new level, weaving left to right the full width of the bus lane just out side Coolock village, a well timed swing around him and shake of the head resulted in very joyous "what's the rush pal" from someone who must have been on a massive dose of Valium

Seve OB

Alek wrote: »

Great, here we go again.

Cyclists. Are. Traffic.


(I very often go in the middle of the road there, as going 40kph+ on the cycle path is simply irresponsible)

Did you even read what I read? I'd no issue with them not using bike lane when there was a big wide hard shoulder with no obstacles or parked traffic in it that they could use.

When I am driving I would always move over to let faster traffic pass if I had the room those guys did, never mind being on my bike. It's only good manners

CramCycle

So as I headed down the Clonskeagh road last Thursday morning, l stopped at a set of lights, as I waited, a man rolls past and plops in front of me. Wearing his bright orange "commuter" jacket, "sporty" hybrid and sports gear. I let the rudeness slide. I was in a pair of jeans and a heavy jumper rather than my usual attire. Sitting on a track bike, he probably presumed himself faster, and despite the rudeness, I let it slide, maybe he was right and it wasn't intentionally rude.

Needless to say, the lights went green, and after a few seconds, it was clear I was a tad faster so when traffic allowed, I overtook. At the next junction, there was a person already there so I stopped behind and waited, as you do. My super fast friend in orange finally caught up and rolled around the two of us. The light went green in short order and I moved into the road as there is a dodgy bit of track ahead which flings you into the side road. I overtook my orange friend and proceeded on.

At the next lights there were two cyclists, in a nice queue, to which I joined. And there it was, once more, my orange friend, rolled past, on the inside and plonked himself sideways in front of the previous leader of the queue.

Traffic was heavier this time, it took a few seconds before a break became apparent and the process began again, I have now overtook him 3 times, if he hadn't went in front of me the first two, I would have probably made the green and never seen him again. Not that this bit bothers me as I had loads of time but it is the rudeness crossed with the ignorance.

As I passed, I asked was it really worth it? I was met with a look of confusion and dimwitted-ness which fitted well with his behaviour.

I rolled on, never to see him again.

On a different note on the way back that evening I met a car that ran straight onto a T junction, never looked, never stopped or even slowed. I was tired so I rolled up alongside, politely said, I am not having a go but back there you nearly hit me, I went up on my front wheel when I **** my brakes.

To be fair, he apologised, his passenger looked shocked as if she had no idea either. I just asked that he looks in future and be more careful, he apologised again, said there was normally no traffic and he hadn't been paying attention as he was having a chat.

It's nice that he was sorry but I fear that while the apology was genuine, the lesson was not learned and until he hits someone or something, it probably won't be.

doozerie

I’ve just removed a tiny splinter from my finger and I feel instantly both relieved and capable of safely clearing tall buildings in one stride, wrestling crocodiles, etc.. From memory, the bigger the splinter the more invincible I tend to feel once I’ve extracted it.

So I’ve gone from picking up a very minor ailment* from something as innocuous as handling some timber, to thinking that I can do stupidly risky stuff without the slightest fear of any mishap. …so this is what it must feel like to be a habitual red light breaker, yesterday I was just a careless prat, today I’m AWESOME. Outta my way puny splinters/traffic, you simply can’t harm me any longer, the laws of physics (and social responsibility) have changed utterly, I know this for a fact because I told me!

…and if fate should really be so unfair as to shatter my illusion with harsh reality, I’ll just scare it away with sheer obnoxiousness. Like that cyclist I saw one evening a few weeks back who sailed past those of us stopped at a red light so that he could ride straight through a red light, through a junction with a stream of crossing traffic, without even hesitating or touching his brakes. He had no lights on his bike either, now that’s a level of awesome to aspire to. He weaved around the front of a moving car, and when the driver had the temerity to briefly blow the horn (after having done an emergency brake to avoid flattening the rider), he yelled at them to “FOOK OFF!”. A true hero. Of the self-deluded.

*it really wrecked though, I cried internally and everything

doozerie

My commute this morning was like a cartoon parody of cycling.

There seemed to be more cyclists than usual on the roads for some reason. There must have been a dozen or more ahead of me as we rode alongside a queue of cars in the bus lane along Clanbrassil Street. The cyclist at the head of the line stopped at a red traffic light, the comedic result being that at least 2 and perhaps 3 cyclists in queue behind them ran into the slowing cyclists in front of them. Either it came as a complete shock to them that any cyclist might stop at a red light, or they were utterly oblivious to what was going on on the road beyond their own front wheel, neither of which bodes well for a long and healthy future of cycling ahead of them.

Then there was the cyclist who shoved his way past me as I balanced beside the rear left wing of a stopped bus. I had thought there wasn’t enough room for anything to squeeze between me and the bus, let alone a great big arse, I was clearly mistaken. He hesitated briefly before squeezing himself between the front left wing of the bus and a van parked in the bus lane. His width sensors served him reasonably well, he only briefly brushed against one or both vehicles. His height sensors were clearly dodgy though ’cos he whacked his helmet’ed head off the wing mirror of the bus. The degree to which his helmet slid back on his head suggested that the helmet wasn’t fitted correctly, the luridness of his (orange) hi-viz jacket probably ensured that his bizarre antics were that little bit more visible to those in the immediate vicinity.

It’s debatable whether those incidents topped the cyclist last week who seemed entirely allergic to being behind anything or anyone on the road. He wasn’t quick enough to get and stay ahead of other traffic in any conventional way so he resorted to all sorts of antics to get past others. Breaking red lights seemed second nature to him, but he also seemed quite happy to ride up on the pavement to get past a bus stopped at a bus stop, he just merrily weaved through/past the emerging passengers. He had “WARRIOR” written in large print on the back of his jacket, I couldn’t help thinking that the manufacturer had misspelt “W A N K E R”.

Oh, and apparently you *never* have to stop at a “Yield” sign, it’s possibly even an offence to do so. So I was told by a motorist recently when I asked why he seemed determine to drive over me as he came out of a side road. I think his exact words were “Yeah! It’s a *YIELD* sign! It’s NOT a fookin’ STOP sign! GRRRRRR!!”. Oh, silly fookin’ me, wha?!

doozerie

On my commute home today I was the first cyclist to encounter a red traffic light on the road between Rathmines and Rathgar. Cyclists passed me on the inside, as ever, as I balanced the bike, those extra 2 metres gained being the difference being gob****e and awesome for a cyclist apparently.

One guy went round me on the right though. His sense of personal space was challenged to say the least, courting couples don't get that close until about the third date traditionally. To top it off, staying upright at that particular moment required rotating my handlebars to the right at exactly the same time as MrOverlyFamiliar somehow flopped his bike left into the space where my front wheel was about to be. Given his proximity an uninvited slow speed collision/hug seemed inevitable. I managed to click out of a pedal and get my foot down though, tragedy averted.

It hadn't been a good day to that point though, my mood was well into the "feisty" range. I asked him what he was at, why was he so keen to break the red light and stop on the pedestrian crossing section, had he actually gained anything, etc. "I see you every day", he said. Riiight, faintly creepy. "Blah, blah, blah, balancing yer bike, blah, *scorn*". Ah, okay, so he was one of *them*.

I've encountered "them" before. While track-standing at traffic lights I've variously had cyclists run into the back of me (and then moan at me for being there, or something), pedestrians bump against me or my bike, drivers in stopped cars sneer and scoff at me, etc. What "they" all have in common seems to be a sense of personal outrage that I should be balancing the bike in the vicinity of *them*. How dare I! Apparently I do it to offend "them", it's what I live for it seems. It's not that they have an inflated sense of their own importance or anything, not at all, it's just that I'm an uppity bollix that needs to be put in his place, apparently.

I have a simple request for such people, will ye ever just fcuk off and get over yourselves. When I track-stand I don't do it for you, I'm not trying to impress you. When I shave (face or legs) before leaving home I'm not trying to impress you. If I clean my bike I'm not doing it to impress you. If I wear gaudy trousers it's because I like the colour for *me*, not you. Etc. Yeah I know, it's hard to believe that the world and everyone in it is not actually revolving around you, and that not everyone is seeking your approval at every moment, but there you go. Deal with it. ...and yes, I'm track-standing as I type this, embrace your anger there, m'kay.

BoardsMember

Yes, they really need to get over themselves.

Seve OB

you are such a show off

doozerie

BoardsMember wrote: »

Yes, they really need to get over themselves.

Ouch! I just want to be… loved!

Kav0777