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2yrs old slapping and pinching others

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  • 29-09-2012 9:40pm
    #1
    Ned_led16
    Registered Users Posts: 329 ✭✭


    any tips on how to avoid - or to teach a child of 2 not to:
    slap and pinch others?? when you say no she says funny sometimes when you get cross with her


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    #2
    How Strange
    Registered Users Posts: 6,339 ✭✭✭How Strange


    Remove her from the situation, say slapping/pinching is not a nice thing to do and give her a couple of minutes before letting her rejoin. Repeat as often as is necessary for the message to sink in that she can't play if she slaps or pinches.

    That's David Coleman's advice in a nutshell. He also says not to just say no. The word becomes meaningless and anyway she won't understand. She will only understand if there's an immediate and direct consequence to her actions ie she is taken out of that situation and deprived of playing with the other children.


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    #3
    Hannibal Smith
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    Time out! We stole it from creche, and if it works for 10 kids in a room it'd work for us!

    When she does tell her she slapped and slapping is wrong and she's going to time out. She stays in 2 mins (a la supernanny and naughty step they stay for a minute of their age), and when she comes out you tell her again why she was there and ask her to say sorry. Then no treats for the day, again that's following what the creche do.


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    #4
    Ronan H
    Registered Users Posts: 1,058 ✭✭✭Ronan H


    Yeah, conditioning is the best option. You have to create an association between slapping/pinching and some form of "unpleasant" (as such) response, such as those mentioned above.

    With a two year old its a bit early to solely rely on explaining that its wrong and trying to reason with them etc. It has to be combined with other things.

    Pavlov, and indeed Coleman, are on the ball!

    Edit: The repetition is key, it has to be done consistently, because as much as a child will learn from an unpleasant response, they will also learn that they can get away with it if its not done each time.


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    #5
    dahamsta
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,659 ✭✭✭✭dahamsta


    Don't forget your positive reinforcement as the behavior improves: You had less/no timeouts today, you're very good, well done, etc. If it's all negative, it'll bite you in the ass in the long run.


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    #6
    Hannibal Smith
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    dahamsta wrote: »
    Don't forget your positive reinforcement as the behavior improves: You had less/no timeouts today, you're very good, well done, etc. If it's all negative, it'll bite you in the ass in the long run ..

    Literally in some cases :D


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    #7
    Ronan H
    Registered Users Posts: 1,058 ✭✭✭Ronan H


    Hannibal Smith wrote: »
    dahamsta wrote: »
    Don't forget your positive reinforcement as the behavior improves: You had less/no timeouts today, you're very good, well done, etc. If it's all negative, it'll bite you in the ass in the long run ..

    Literally in some cases :D

    LOL.

    Yeah the positive reinforcement is probably the most important part of the whole process! Well said...


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    #8
    How Strange
    Registered Users Posts: 6,339 ✭✭✭How Strange


    That's why David Coleman says never to say your a bold boy or girl but the thing they did is bold. On the other hand you can and should say they're good as often as possible.

    God this parenting is tough going at times!


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