Hypothetical situation

Guill

I was in Woodies today (DIY store), half out of my mind from tiredness.

I was looking around when this Hypothetical situation popped into my head:

You're locked in Woodies with 29 other people, last man alive gets out.

What section do you run to first for weaponry?

I'd go for the good old fashioned crow bar, decent reach an weight behind it.

Hasmunch

Chainsaw section..

scudzilla

Drill bit section, i'd bore the fcukers to death

Guill

Hasmunch wrote: »

Chainsaw section..

What would you do with a chainsaw and no petrol?

Hasmunch

Make loud chainsaw noises while clubbing everyone to death... duh!!

GalwayKiefer

Homeware and grab a kitchen knife set.

Fart

Flame Thrower section.

Pherekydes

I'd post on AH for ideas.

Funkfield

I'd head for the manager's office. It is Woodies company policy that all managers keep a Desert Eagle and one hundred rounds of ammunition in their desk drawer.

OnTheCounter

Nailgun.

Climb up on a high shelf.

fish in a barrel.

scudzilla

scudzilla wrote: »

i'd bore the fcukers to death

You don't even need tools. Just talk to them.

seven_eleven

Ride on lawnmower and a pitchfork. I'd be like one of those medieval knights I tells ya!

smash

Straight to the gardening section and grab myself a hoe... :pac:

MarkR

Been done in the zombie forum. I think a pair of hand axes

KingMonkey

scythe plzzz...get back,back,you want this??

recyclebin

Weed killer section. That stuff burns.

CruelCoin

Hasmunch wrote: »

Chainsaw section..

No fuel...

CruelCoin

Go for the section with the claw hammers and the hand axes.

Then make your way to the section with the full face masks for some basic protection.

mauzo

Id panic and end up in the paint section.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

crowbar. if it's good enough for gordon, it's good enough for me

cloptrop

Id get up into the shelving up high . Sneakily drop pallets of stuff on everyone head .. Guerrilla warfare like .

Abi

Thread needs more zombies.

SEPT 23 1989

The invisible paint section then down to the axe aisle

Abi

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

The invisible paint section then down to the axe aisle

You better bring the invisible paint to the axe aisle with you

DirtyBollox

mauzo wrote: »

Id panic and end up in the paint section.

Camouflage yourself and then go Arnie on everyone else!!!

Ken.

Toilet for a ****.

mauzo

DirtyBollox wrote: »

Camouflage yourself and then go Arnie on everyone else!!!

Cover myself in paint and then head straight for the party section!!

Jesus Shaves

Chainsaw section, pick out an electric chainsaw, then head to get an extension reel and go find myself a power outlet. Go on a rampage and pray that no one plugs me out.

Corvo

Paint section. Two very large tins. Keep swinging and whatever happens to get in my way get mushed

Duggy747

Lawnmower section. Pick up the most powerful one and do a Braindead on it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RC1d7dw24Gg

666irishguy

Wherever the Paslode guns are. Ping,Ping,Ping.

WhimSock

Christmas section, it'd disarm everyone by downing tools by complaining it's way to early for this sh1t.

Where To

A length of 4x2, the solution to most problems

Sulla Felix

Gardening section to hide in a bush.

mauzo

mauzo wrote: »

Id panic and end up in the paint section.

Throw paint in everyone's eyes then finish them off at leisure

Lando Griffin

I dont go to Woodies, I shop in the local hardware store where there is better value to be had. Woodies are a rip off especially for timber where you can pay 20% extra. The paint section is ok but if you are doing a few rooms again you will get not neccessary cheeper paint but a good discount on the tools required which at the final bill will be cheaper.
Gardening too is much more expensive I find, eg rang them about a certain weed control product and found that it was 3 euro dearer in Woodies than in my local hardware store.
The biggest advantage is the knowledge that the guys in the hardware store pocess is brilliant they would nearly build it for you instead of some spotty sniffling teenager trying to tell you that steel nails are best for nailing MDF or so.

Where To

Lando Griffin wrote: »

I dont go to Woodies, I shop in the local hardware store where there is better value to be had. Woodies are a rip off especially for timber where you can pay 20% extra. The paint section is ok but if you are doing a few rooms again you will get not neccessary cheeper paint but a good discount on the tools required which at the final bill will be cheaper.
Gardening too is much more expensive I find, eg rang them about a certain weed control product and found that it was 3 euro dearer in Woodies than in my local hardware store.
The biggest advantage is the knowledge that the guys in the hardware store pocess is brilliant they would nearly build it for you instead of some spotty sniffling teenager trying to tell you that steel nails are best for nailing MDF or so.

You haven't read the OP have you?

scudzilla

scudzilla wrote: »

Drill bit section, i'd bore the fcukers to death

Deleted User wrote: »

You don't even need tools. Just talk to them.

Lando Griffin wrote: »

I dont go to Woodies, I shop in the local hardware store where there is better value to be had. Woodies are a rip off especially for timber where you can pay 20% extra. The paint section is ok but if you are doing a few rooms again you will get not neccessary cheeper paint but a good discount on the tools required which at the final bill will be cheaper.
Gardening too is much more expensive I find, eg rang them about a certain weed control product and found that it was 3 euro dearer in Woodies than in my local hardware store.
The biggest advantage is the knowledge that the guys in the hardware store pocess is brilliant they would nearly build it for you instead of some spotty sniffling teenager trying to tell you that steel nails are best for nailing MDF or so.

You have competition, scud

K-9

The shrubbery section, I like a nice shrubbery. They've all types there.

Immaculate Pasta

The till so I could go to town on the vending machine before I'm clubbed to death. I'm not much of a fighter you see :cool:

(Assuming no one just smashes up the vending machine of course, that would just be barbaric)

minidazzler

I'd grab one 24" Gorilla bar, a 14" one, a Long handled axe and take a decent number of smaller hand axes. I'd take up a secure position and go to town.

Woodies don't sell nail guns, I checked.

Boombastic

Stop! Hammer Time!!

JACK BE NIMBLE

I'd run to the paint section and show the attackers the price of a 5ltr of paint, that'd scare the ****e out of anyonehttp://b-static.net/vbulletin/images/smilies/pacman.gif

Capt'n Midnight

You're locked in Woodies with 29 other people, last man alive gets out.

hide in the ladies toilet

scotchy

Just back from Woodies Sallynoggin branch.

Other customers seemed blissfully unaware that in their midst was someone looking for the best weapon to kill them all with.:o

Anyway, I’ve decided on one of their heavy garden spades as my weapon of choice. :cool:

Soldiers in the trenches of World War 1 used sharpened trench spades for close quarter hand to hand fighting. Can be used like an axe on an adversary's head, neck etc.

Great thread. My trips to Woodies will never be the same again.:D


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mconigol

So this would essentially be the hunger games except in Woodies? Are there any hot chicks?

CardBordWindow

Find the grease/oil/lubes section. Clear an area and spread all the grease all around. Everyone will break their necks trying to get to ya! :cool:

looksee

Hide in a coal bin till there is only one other person left, at this stage he will be exhausted so easy to dispose of, and I'm out!

scotchy

Does woodies still do 10% off for pensioners on a Tuesday?

I could do it then.:)

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Cee-Jay-Cee

Slash hook and I'd fight like a tinker!

mattjack

Thursday night is pensioners night, I'd just bring a load balloons and burst them behind their backs.

Loud noise + old person = cardiac attack.