2yr old and eating habits

edellc

I am having a problem with getting my two year old to eat anything other than the jars of food you by in the supermarket, heinz etc ones 12mth plus

Yes it is my fault...I know I should never ever have started him on them, but being a vege and wanting to give him the best start in life possible and also not wanting to push my beliefs on him and really not being good at cooking animal stuffs, I gave him the meat jars of food so he didnt miss any nutrients and so i couldnt give him food poisoning. When he is old enough if he chooses to be a vege grand but if not then thats his choice not mine. So please dont say woulda, shoulda, coulda, cause believe me I know and kick myself every dinner time because of it.

anyway so how do i stop this now, i make him normal food, like mine and put it on a plate the ones that come with different segments on it and we sit at the table, tv off and have dinner and all he does is move the food around the plate and if and a big if, he licks any of it then that is meet with him gagging as if he was poisoned, the amount of money and food wasted by him at this stage is enough to feed a small country

so is there any tips or books i can read to help me get through this and actually have a "normal" food eating toddler rather than haemorrhaging money buying food jars

How Strange

I'd say stop buying the jars, give him the 'normal' food to eat and don't make a big deal out of it. He can eat it or not as he chooses. If he gags then he gags. If he's been getting mostly jars up to know then he has to get used to the different consistency of the food you prepare yourself.

I'd recommend you read my child won't eat by Carlos Gonzalez if you have a bit of spare time. He'll reassure you that no child will deliberately starve themselves and when they're hungry they'll eat. It's a fantastic book for putting parents minds at ease.

Other than that don't stress over it just stop buying the jars. Give him the food and let him do what he will with it. Eventually, in his own time, he'll start to eat it.

Hannibal Smith

Don't be kicking yourself edellc, you did what you thought was right for a very good reason. Plus at 2 he'd most likely be pushing these boundaries any way, no matter what food he was used to up until now.

I presume he can eat the food? It's not that he's used to the food being soft, he's just preferring not to eat it? If its the texture then it could just be a matter of training him. Go back to basics and mash (dont puree) any food you give him. Then slowly starting making it more and more lumpy and let him learn how to chew.

If its a case that he's moved from soft jars to big chopped slices of food leaving him to gag every meantime is just going to distress you both.

Either way, don't give him anything between meals, or offer him something else. He either eats what's in front of him or nothing else!

edellc

where i get confused is when i make him his dinner as in the same stuff as me but cut up into little bits and we both sit at table and after an hour he is still sat there playing with the food, so do i let him down and when he then looks for something to eat i put the same plate of dinner in front of him to eat?? or do i just make him something else, im really not sure if i keep on trying the dinner on him for the remainder of the day/night until he goes to bed if he is looking for something to eat

i suppose what makes me nervous is that he isnt the greatest sleeper on the planet and when he is hungry he wakes up more and can be awake for hours on end in the night and as i am on my own as such dealing with it, daddy has to work

he has no problem chewing either its just him being lazy now i think

ronjo

Would it be worth putting these dinners in jars for now so he can eat out of them until he gets used to the food?

edellc

He doesn't eat out of a jar I heat the jars as in Heinz baby food 12mths + ones up in microwave and put it in a bowl and he eats it...they are not puree they are Like a chunky stew or spaghetti with a thick sauce but when I make my own version of these he refuses to eat then be they in a bowl or on a plate

How Strange

At 2 yrs old they're definitely testing boundaries and food is the most effective one because as parents we're always anxious that they're eating enough etc. It just pushes our buttons and they see it.

I'd say yes if he doesn't eat his food by the time you've finished dinner and are ready to clear up then take it away, without commenting (very tough to actually do!) and let him off to play or whatever.

If he comes back later and says he's hungry you can offer the dinner again without any comments of not having eaten it before or offer a healthy snack of fruit or natural yoghurt with compote etc. Don't offer a particularly sweet or savoury snack as these may seem like rewards for not eating dinner. Don't make another dinner because you're only making more work for yourself and setting a precedent.

My son is now 20 months and as hard as it is at times I have to walk away when he's being fussy and refusing to eat things at home that I know he eats in crèche. It's very frustrating but I don't want him picking up on that. If he starts being fussy I take the food away and let him off to play. I've noticed though if he refuses to eat something at dinner time then he usually won't eat it later even if he's clearly hungry so I do give him something healthy as a snack.

They are little terrors sometimes and having weaned my toddler the baby led weaning way I have to say regardless of how you wean or what food you use I think the fussiness around this age is normal.

Lingua Franca

Ah, the terrible twos. How I miss those days.

It sounds like he's struggling for control and enjoying the attention. One of my kids was a horribly fussy eater and, I'm not proud to admit, would indeed starve himself if not offered dry toast or cereal. I fought a very long, hard battle to get him to eat balanced diet. He is a lot more stubborn than I am. I honestly wish I hadn't now, because I put myself through a lot of stress and I reckon he'd have come round on his own eventually. But anyway, here's some of the things I found that helped.

Really, don't fret too much what he is eating, so long as he eating.

Feed him more of the things he does eat that don't come from jars (if there is anything, at all!). Chocolate, crackers, strawberries, cereal or whatever, just stop pulling a jar out for every meal. Don't worry if that means that lunch some days is just strawberries. Let him eat off your plate if he likes to do that, you can just make a bigger plate for you to share.

Get him involved in the food prep process. I know he's only two but he can hand you things, wash fruit, grate cheese with supervision, put toppings on a pizza, assemble a quesadilla. Make rice krispie buns and shredded wheat birds nest with mini eggs. Get him close up to and familiar to his food.

Eat more fun food. Pizza he's decorated with a smiley face himself. Fondue! I'd start with a chocolate fondue with slices of fruit, marshmallows and plain biscuits to dip in it. Once he starts looking forward to that as a meal you can try switching the chocolate over to peanut butter and then later cheese and crackers and veggies.

If at all possible, bring round other kids to eat with you. Preferably known gannets that will be very enthusiastic about anything you put in front of them! A bit of peer pressure might help. Don't be going comparing him by going"oh, X will eat everything, why won't you?", just really enjoy your food in front of him. He'll soon pick up that eating is supposed to be pleasurable, not psychological warfare.

Don't, and this is more for your sake than his, get involved in psychological warfare! He's eating, and it doesn't sound like you have any concerns about his physical development. Don't let his fussy eating wear you down, it is not worth it. Don't let him see you upset about his eating habits. Also, don't beat yourself up when you do feed him from a jar. Gently steer him towards normal eating habits, keep it up and eventually he'll broaden his tastes.

Good luck!

ceadaoin.

Maybe you could try gradually adding other types of food with the jars he is used to? So mix it in a bowl with rice or mashed potato, then add a few chopped vegetables etc.

Hannibal Smith

If its a matter of choice, that he's chosing not to eat, then its a different ball game, he's testing you.

My son did that for 3 weeks, my only comfort was that he was in creche 3 days a week and out those three days I knew he was fed! I eventually brought him to the doctor and he said to ignore him at the table, it don't they to encourage him to eat, let him get on with it. Don't do aeroplanes or trains or anything. Then he said if he doesn't eat, put him down from the table and leave him. Don't offer him an alternative or anything else until next mal time. I only had to do it once! When it came to dinner he ate rings round himself.

I think the idea of mixing a jar with the food is a good one. Also some kids like gravy. Those jars can be quite wet, so the change to dry chopped up food is quite a big one. You can get children's gravy in the baby food section which are low on salt etc

KGLady

Mixing the familiar taste of the jars with some of your home cooked food is something that worked for me (I was struggling with morning sickness and she got enamoured with the jars when I was too nauseous to cook & make baby purees). I gradually changed the ratios over time and eventually found the right flavours and textures to suit her and we dropped the jars sucessfully. Now she's still a picky little madame at 5yo so I eventually stopped blaming myself and accepted its simply part of who she is.

Keep in mind they mostly have a palette that prefers bland and sweetness at that age, sometimes fruit puree or even a spoonful of some juice or smoothie added to hers would alter the flavour so it was closer to the jars, I'd stir in some into the pasta sauce in her bowl for example.

Thread is a good one so far for tips! Most of all though don't be hard on yourself and don't let the little one make it into a game/battle of wills

ButtimersLaw

I remember the terrible two's also, and it's quite normal for a child of 2+ to want to explore boundaries, and try to find areas where they can control. Our policy was always that if a child didn't want to eat, then that was their choice, and we weren't going to make a fuss about it. We all ate the same food and were determined we would not end up cooking different things for different children. Luckily they have all grown up and will eat anything, are quite adventurous with food.

I remember meeting Jane Clare (then wife of Professor Anthony Clare) who had, I think, seven children. ONe advantage of having so many, she said, was that when her 14year old daughter was going through a goth phase, she didn't have a lot of time to worry about it as she had so many other things to do for the other children, and the outcome was her daughter grew out of the goth phase without much angst from her parents. Smaller families tend to concentrate on their child or children with a more acute focus more on their one or two children, which makes it easier for the children to push their parents buttons.

Definitely I'd read that book and try not to be anxious about your childs eating....he'll eat when he is hungry!

pwurple

The suggestion above from Lingua Franca on getting involved in the food prep is a great one. My toddler loves getting up on her stool and watching me chop.. she eats things like carrots, cucumber, cheese off the chopping board. Then we do the stirring, she loves that as well, has her own spatula. Watches things in the oven. And even seems to like the ritual of getting knifes and forks for the table. She still only picks at the food, and eats a small bit, but she tries everything.

I wouldn't worry too much about you only cooking vegetarian if he is getting some decent protein from other sources. Do you cook eggs? Or pancakes? And kids love cheese.

I find my own seems to eat way more when there are other kids visiting us for some reason. And she eats all around her at creche and during the day.

SandyRamp

My 5 year old went through similar phase, when she was around 2 she suddenly decided she wouldn't eat anything brown, not even chocolate! This lasted for 6 months or more, she would physically gag if anything brown went near her lips. I tried the same as one of the above posters, put her standing up beside me when I was preparing food and let her help me. It worked really well, and the food she made 'all by herself' ALWAYS tasted nicer than my yucky food!

I still use this trick to this day, she wouldn't eat a wrap I had made her yesterday, so I gave her a chopping board, a wrap and all the ingredients to make it up herself, and she ate it and looked for more! I think it's a lot to do with control, if you let them believe that they are the ones deciding what they put in their mouths they will be a lot more accepting to trying new things.

wmpdd3

I was like this when I was young, I was still eating Farley's reconstituted food at 3.

I went to my grandmothers for the Summer and she decided she'd cure me.
She didnt bring the baby food to her house.

I would only eat Ready Break, white rolls and butter and veg hot cup. So thats what I ate for 2 months.

I only ate about 10 foods until I was 13 but eventually I introduced more foods.

My mother said she tried the 'new food or nothing' and I choose nothing. Her will broke before mine.

I now have a 2 yr old too and she ate everything she was given until 2 weeks ago, when she turned 2! Her favourite words are ' All done'. I know she's trying me out to see if she'll get her way, but want her to keep an open mind.

OP, I'm glad you've recognised the problem and I hope you can resolve it school.

edellc

so today we had mashed spuds mushy peas and sticks of parsnip and carrot and he sat with his knife and fork and bashed everything into the plate, I had no reaction just ate my dinner beside him I did encourage him and he did smell everything but nothing passed his lips. Also he did help me prep everything as im putting chopped spuds and veg into steamer so I did try get him involved. I tried strawberries for a snack, he smelled them once they where chopped up and licked his fingers and then he put them back into his bowl but didnt eat any.

On the plus side I didnt give him a jar of food today, he was super cranky and had quite a few throwing himself on the floor and bawling like george from peppa pig, i had no reaction to this....god im a cold bitch

i did give in and gave him some toast and grated cheese which he loves and ate it all so at least not going to bed on an empty stomach and then waking up during the night and keeping me awake all night too

tomorrow is a new day so let the fun and games continue

ButtimersLaw

edellc wrote: »

so today we had mashed spuds mushy peas and sticks of parsnip and carrot and he sat with his knife and fork and bashed everything into the plate, I had no reaction just ate my dinner beside him I did encourage him and he did smell everything but nothing passed his lips. Also he did help me prep everything as im putting chopped spuds and veg into steamer so I did try get him involved. I tried strawberries for a snack, he smelled them once they where chopped up and licked his fingers and then he put them back into his bowl but didnt eat any.

On the plus side I didnt give him a jar of food today, he was super cranky and had quite a few throwing himself on the floor and bawling like george from peppa pig, i had no reaction to this....god im a cold bitch

i did give in and gave him some toast and grated cheese which he loves and ate it all so at least not going to bed on an empty stomach and then waking up during the night and keeping me awake all night too

tomorrow is a new day so let the fun and games continue

Well done and you are not being heartless, but quite the opposite. Anyone can be a parent in the easy times, and you are putting thought and effort into doing what you believe is in your child’s best long term interests, and trying to teach some lessons too.

When we had our first child, my sister in law beat us to it by about a year. They spent the first year trying everything to get their baby asleep at night, and so this involved walking around rocking the baby, sitting by her cot anxiously, and every time the baby woke up then that also involved at least one parent walking around rocking her to sleep etc etc for long periods of time, even if it was 3am.

We were determined not to do this, and got some good advice which, essentially, said that you put the child to bed after the normal routine of bath etc etc, and leave the room. If he starts crying, you wait one minute, then go in and try to settle him, and leave the room. Then if he starts crying, you wait two minutes, then four minutes and so on. Our children slept perfectly after a couple of days, and the benefit was that if they work up during the middle of the night, they had been taught how to get themselves back to sleep. My sister in law spent over 12 years with sleeping problems and spent 12 years sitting with her children try to help them get to sleep.
Sometimes, a little perseverance and thought can spare a parent and a child years of problems, and I suspect your child will soon start to eat normal food with you once he realises you are not going to always play it the way he wants it. Compromise works both ways, and he has to, and will, learn to compromise as well as you.

littlemissfixit

I have the opposite problem, my little one will only eat a few different meals, they r all quite healthy (pasta and veg sauce, sheperd pie, veg soup with spuds or rice etc.) All things that demand a good bit of prep (I have stocks of it in freezer thank god!) but I would love if she would eat tinned soup, or beans, or anything that you can throw together in a few minutes when stuck, no chance.
Since she is about one she will not try anything she is not used to, if I add sweet corn in her rice she will refuse the whole thing, she even picked out the smarties of her birthday cake cause she never seen them before :rolleyes:. The only way I got a bit around it was to mix it with the things she eats, didn't work everytime, she is not easy to fool! I added ham to her cheese sandwich and that went down even though she always refused to try the ham on her plate.

I think no big deal should be made of anything surrounding eating at this age. Try introducing your stuff mixed with the jars, if its the taste he needs to get used to then a gradual introduction may have better chance of working. I personaly think they are too young for the "this is it or nothing", but thats only my opinion. As long as the only options are healthy and nutritive, handing them a little control over it is not too bad.