Obesity is one the worst choices a person can make" - Obese News Anchor rages @ email

Greentopia

Iceboy wrote: »

This reply... Wow.

http://i.imgur.com/zGHhR.png

"I'm not fat by choice. I'm fat because I get fat when I eat sugar. To loose weight I'd have to cut all the sugar I'm eating, and I can't do that."

Guess what, fatty... That's how EVERYBODY does it.

Not really, sugar intake does play a big role in weight gain, but it's not as simple as that for many people who want to lose weight as there may be other factors involved and other (dietary) reasons for the weight gain.

Iceboy wrote: »

Strong female logic.

The fact that she's female is neither here nor there, so please lay off the sexist nonsense. I'm female and have a logical brain. If she was a he you wouldn't attribute their statement to their gender would you? no.

However I do agree it's a rather self-defeating attitude to take that just because she reckons she has to give up all sugar to lose weight means that she shouldn't even try to cut down, or to find sugar substitutes.

scwazrh

Greentopia wrote: »

I watched the video and was with her until she used the word bullying.
OED definition of Cyberbullying- noun: the use of electronic communication to bully a person, typically sending messages of an intimidating or threatening nature
I saw nothing in the email that guy wrote that was of an intimidating or threatening nature. Insulting on a personal level and hurtful I'm sure, but bullying? no..

Do you really think that bullying has to be intimidating and threatening? If I call a red headed person with glasses and a learning difficulty a four eyed ginger thick , is that not bullying? Of course it is .There is nothing intimidating or threatening in it but it is still vile bullying if said to a person or about a person. Please think before you comment on something as serious as bullying.

EZ24GET

Why do people feel they must have "role models"? Pick the role you want to fill and work toward it. Why must you base your life on someone else? All role models let you down - no one on earth is perfect. And if obesity is a fault of choice then certainly rudeness and mean spiritedness are also faults of choice.

blacklilly

It amazes me how the vast majority of people have no problem understanding that anorexia is caused by mental health issues (I.e not just an issue with eating not enough food) yet every overweight person is labeled as lazy.
Yes of course some people are lazy, that includes, thin, average and overweight people however its arrogant to tarnish all overweight people as lazy. There are a multitude of reasons as to why someone can be overweight and if it was ad simple as eating less and exercising more then let's face it we would all be a healthy weight.

Speaking as someone who was very badly bullied during my childhood, (being slightly bigger than the rest of my class as one of the reasons) I can say without hesitation that the insults and abuse I received ruined my childhood and has somewhat scared my adulthood. I was suicidal when I was 12 and felt so utterly useless and unwanted due to comments that didn't have to be said.

Luckily the bullying ended in primary school but I witnessed countless girls being bullied due to their body type. Absolutely no one has the right to tell someone they are fat, ugly, skinny etc.We all have mirrors, we see ourselves everyday we do not need to hear comments in relation to our looks.


This woman did not enter her job to be a role model, just because someone is on tv does not automatically make them a role model or public property.
She does a job that she likes and does it well. She didn't parade her naked flesh on you tube and entitle it "am I fat" she did not invite these comments.
Why is someone's worth calculated upon how they look?

Greentopia

scwazrh wrote: »

Do you really think that bullying has to be intimidating and threatening? If I call a red headed person with glasses and a learning difficulty a four eyed ginger thick , is that not bullying? Of course it is .There is nothing intimidating or threatening in it but it is still vile bullying if said to a person or about a person. Please think before you comment on something as serious as bullying.

Look up the definitions of bullying, I think you will find it includes intimidation or threats.

From Webster's:
"Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants."

From the Department of Education here in Ireland:

"Bullying is defined by the Department of Education and Skills guidelines as repeated physical, verbal or psychological aggression directed by an individual or group against others. Bullying can occur at any age, in any environment, and can be long or short-term."

Intimidation, threats, aggression-all constitute bullying.
Your example would be more correctly called name-calling or simply insulting the person, not bullying. If it was repeated and was a sustained campaign of verbal insults like the one you gave then yes, of course, that would be bullying. But a one off calling someone mean things? no. That doesn't make it right or harmless though, of course I'm, not trying to suggest that.

And I always put thought into my comments here or elsewhere on any serious matter

scwazrh

@greentopia - instead of googling the word bullying , why don't you speak to some people / kids who have been near suicidal due to bullying , or as you call it ,one off name calling.

Calling a stranger fat for no reason is bullying.

Greentopia

scwazrh wrote: »

@greentopia - instead of googling the word bullying , whttp://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=81077574hy don't you speak to some people / kids who have been near suicidal due to bullying , or as you call it ,one off name calling.

Don't attempt to twist my words. I do not deliberately minimise bullying or the devastating effects it can cause by using the words "one off name calling". I understand very well bullying is a very serious issue which can have long term and very damaging effects on people.

My understanding is not from first hand accounts, no, as I've never met anyone who's opened up to me about having had that problem, but from reading about it in books and quality newspapers and hearing accounts of it in the media such as the terrible case of the Irish schoolgirl Phoebe Prince who was driven to suicide in the U.S. by bullies. I saw her father tell the heartbreaking story on TV recently.

I'm not in the habit of deriving my information on such serious topics from quick google searches on the internet.

scwazrh wrote: »

Calling a stranger fat for no reason is bullying.

I don't agree, unless as I said it was repeatedly done, or done with aggression or intimidation. The question of what is the power balance between the bullier and the bullied also has to come into play.

I consider this tendency in society to nowadays label what is simply ill manners or a hurtful mean spirited comment as "bullying" to be in fact counter productive in tackling genuine bullying.
But as we evidently don't agree on this I will politely decline to add further comment on the matter.

dark crystal

Iceboy wrote: »

This reply... Wow.

http://i.imgur.com/zGHhR.png

"I'm not fat by choice. I'm fat because I get fat when I eat sugar. To loose weight I'd have to cut all the sugar I'm eating, and I can't do that."

Guess what, fatty... That's how EVERYBODY does it.

Strong female logic.

Pic of the fatty (surprisingly, she's eating cake with her fat kid)

http://media-cache-ec3.pinterest.com/avatars/tinkerbell7623_1337116532_600.jpg

Why the fukc does what other people eat bother you so much...what's it got to do with you exactly?

Then you make some narky sexist comment about female logic - what was that thrown in for?

You obviously have major issues where it comes to body image. Perhaps you should just concentrate on your own fitness and stop insulting people who aren't as perfect as you clearly are.

xxmeabhxx

Honestly I find OP's response to this quite refreshing. Both sides are flawed, I don't agree with the man who sent in the letter because I don't think overweight people shouldn't be on tv or be news anchors and I don't think many kids see news anchors as role models so there's really no risk that she's a bad role model because of her weight. I think her response blows the letter out of proportion, the letter at no point uses the word "fat" and I think if someone wanted to bully her it would be far more vicious. Yes the letter was insulting but I would hardly class it as bullying. Also, I don't like how being overweight and proud is becoming an answer to anorexia and the media portraying tiny girls as perfect. Yes anorexia is of course unhealthy and shouldn't be encouraged or celebrated but neither should obesity or being over weight. Over eating is just as unhealthy as under eating and both have health risks. Whatever happened to the middle ground of having a bmi in the early 20's? Fair play to her for standing up for herself on tv I suppose even if I think she's blowing the issue out of proportion.

grizzly

Feeona wrote: »

'Nobody cares what I say or takes me seriously. I've been passed over for promotion so many times, it's frustrating. Women don't seem to like me either, they think I"m over bearing and sleazy. So to make myself feel better, I'll spend my time belittling others via email to make myself feel like the big guy.'

And this basically sums up the email the guy sent.

I think you read a different email.

Kimia

I too am surprised by the amount of people who can't grasp that being overweight may signify emotional issues (much like anorexia). If losing weight was that easy, we would all be at our ideal weight.

I think the comments made by that man were incredibly hurtful and inappropriate. Since when do others have the right to tell you how you are supposed to look?

I think it was bullying and I agree wholeheartedly with her decision to address is publicly. Bullying is essentially shaming others for something or other, whether it be your weight, your hair colour, your skin colour, etc. It's not ok and it's not welcome advice. How presumptuous of him to think that she would welcome his unsolicited advice - which makes me think, as others have mentioned - that he did it not to advise her, but to get a thrill out of making her feel bad. A bully through and through.

I love that she shone a light on him. Bullying is usually is done under a veil of secrecy. The bully victim is usually embarrassed to admit the bullying because of the shame involved, and will usually deny it or try to pretend it is not happening. It takes a very strong person to push back and admit what is happening because it is such an insidious attack on your self-worth, which, because we are such social creatures, relies quite a lot on other people's perception of you.

I think everyone who commented on this thread as if they have some sort of right to dictate how others's should look should consider how powerful your words can be. To someone who is overweight and hates themselves because of it, who may be suicidal and completely hopeless - they do not need to be further pushed into isolation because you decide that their weight is somehow offensive to your eyes.

It really upsets me to see people get riled up and hateful over something that another person has not got any control over. It reminds me of the irrational hatred of redheads or the women-hating we see here. It says more about the hater than anything else.

token101

MagicSean wrote: »

I think you are missing Biggins point. Sure it's a fact but what business is it of anyones to say it to the person. How is it any different from walking up to a guy and telling him he is scrawny or telling some random girl on the street they look like a tramp or telling some stranger they are ugly. You can indeed insult someone with facts and you can't defend bullying by simply claiming it's the truth.

All of those things are far more subjective though. Being obese isn't really that subjective. Also being ugly isn't going to kill you, you can trust me on that.

Listen, I'm not defending bullying, not at all. But there are times when obesity isn't just the person's own business, for example sitting on a plane or bus. You wouldn't put up with someone drinking themselves stupid next to you on a flight, nor would you put up with someone smoking, so why should you have to put up with an obese man or woman taking up more space than the average person should? If your life choices are interfering with others then it becomes others' business. You can extend that to role models too. Even though I don't really believe in role models personally, some people do, and I do feel if you willingly put yourself in the public spotlight and make your living from publicity then you have to take the good with the bad. I'm not referring to this woman specifically, but I'm sure there are examples where people would say someone is a role model and they have horrendous lifestyle choices. People condemn athletes for smoking, they condemn the likes of Paris Hilton or whoever for drinking to excess, why should overeating be any different? I'm sure that's not very PC, but I doubt it's an unpopular opinion either.

token101

Millicent wrote: »

If we all stopped commenting on the size of a person's waistline and instead focused on the depth of their character, the world would be a much better place for everyone.

Listen, whether anyone would care to admit it or not, for the vast majority of people, 99% of the initial attraction to anyone is based on appearances. That isn't going to change. Ever.

dave3004

Your body is greates thing you own. Look after it

Millicent

token101 wrote: »

Listen, whether anyone would care to admit it or not, for the vast majority of people, 99% of the initial attraction to anyone is based on appearances. That isn't going to change. Ever.

But why does that extend to never-ending conversations on weight? We see it in the media, on the internet, in casual conversation. I'm not looking to ride everyone I ever speak to so why would my initial judgement be based on their weight? Outside of a potential partner, what has the other person's appearance got to do with how I judge them?

token101

Millicent wrote: »

But why does that extend to never-ending conversations on weight? We see it in the media, on the internet, in casual conversation. I'm not looking to ride everyone I ever speak to so why would my initial judgement be based on their weight? Outside of a potential partner, what has the other person's appearance got to do with how I judge them?

This is the first thread I've seen here on obesity to be honest! On AH anyway. People's appearance is the first thing you notice regardless of whether you're looking to ride them or not. Generally you see someone before you hear them speak, so it's the first, and sometimes the only, impression you have of them. And someone's weight is one of the most obvious physical traits.

Millicent

token101 wrote: »

This is the first thread I've seen here on obesity to be honest! On AH anyway. People's appearance is the first thing you notice regardless of whether you're looking to ride them or not. Generally you see someone before you hear them speak, so it's the first, and sometimes the only, impression you have of them. And someone's weight is one of the most obvious physical traits.

This isn't my first time at this rodeo on AH!

Honestly, it's not something that really ever registers to me, unless there's some reason to draw my attention to it. If someone is morbidly obese I will notice, in the same way I will notice if someone is very tall or very skinny. Generally though, I wouldn't really consciously notice it.

Am I that rare in that? Sometimes, given threads like this, it seems like I am. I hope not though. That would be a sad realisation.

Millicent

Also, to add to my last post, I don't understand why some posters are taking pride in judging others by their appearance. Why would anyone be proud to advertise the fact that they're so shallow? It's not really an impulse that people should be so willing to indulge, let alone be proud to. It belongs on the playground, IMO.

mikemac1

Opray Winfrey spent many a year being obese and battled to control her weight.

Now she is one of the richest people in the world.
Probably the richest women, top 10 anyway

This women in the OP is a news anchor.
Who cares what she weighs if she can do her job well.
She works behind a desk. Now if her bosses send her to the mountains of Afghanistan to follow troops around the weight would be an issue but even without the weight most average people would struggle with that job. I'm going off topic

Maybe we could have started this thread on the guys own issues if he reckons everyone is going to be influenced by TV.
If this is a problem for him then if he is a parent he can do things about it like rationing use for his children or even just getting rid of it.

We are not all sheep who follow what we see on TV

Zab

mikemac1 wrote: »

Now she is one of the richest people in the world.
Probably the richest women, top 10 anyway

Actually she's not even close to the top 10. She is stupendously wealthy though, at $2.7 billion.

Wee Willy Harris

more threads about fat people *sigh*

seriously, tone it down

I would definitely judge someone who is obese as having little self control and in extreme cases, self respect..

Same way people judge me because of how many cigarettes I smoke a day. Or my girlfriend for being thin. Or my brother for being an alcoholic. Or another friend with a gambling addiction.

Why can't we criticize someone for being obese? People have no trouble pointing out my smoking and a few westerners have said my Vnese girlfriend is too thin. My brother definitely gets the rough end of it because of alcohol and the gambler is seen as a general mess by a lot. Pointing out our weaknesses and traits is sociably acceptable but the obese are shielded for some reason.

Hurricane Carter

She mentions she has three kids of her own.

I believe she has a responsibility to those kids not be so fat and unhealthy.

She talks about leading by example, well she should take a look in the mirror. Does she want her kids to be like her? I doubt that very much.

I mean she probably can't enjoy any activities with them.

I think she needs a long hard look at herself before she starts shifting any responsibility she has as a parent onto society as a whole.

Maximus Alexander

I find it very difficult to countenance these arguments that people are pre-disposed to obesity and can do nothing about it. Why is it that obesity is on the rise? Why is it that historically, it has never been as big a problem as it is today?

Is it because junk food is widely available, the modern world makes it easy to have a lifestyle where you're physically inactive, and plenty of people are just downright lazy?

Or is it because there has been a sudden genetic mutation in western populations that makes it impossible for most of them to be anything but obese?

You decide.

MagicSean

token101 wrote: »

MagicSean wrote: »

I think you are missing Biggins point. Sure it's a fact but what business is it of anyones to say it to the person. How is it any different from walking up to a guy and telling him he is scrawny or telling some random girl on the street they look like a tramp or telling some stranger they are ugly. You can indeed insult someone with facts and you can't defend bullying by simply claiming it's the truth.

All of those things are far more subjective though. Being obese isn't really that subjective. Also being ugly isn't going to kill you, you can trust me on that.

Listen, I'm not defending bullying, not at all. But there are times when obesity isn't just the person's own business, for example sitting on a plane or bus. You wouldn't put up with someone drinking themselves stupid next to you on a flight, nor would you put up with someone smoking, so why should you have to put up with an obese man or woman taking up more space than the average person should? If your life choices are interfering with others then it becomes others' business. You can extend that to role models too. Even though I don't really believe in role models personally, some people do, and I do feel if you willingly put yourself in the public spotlight and make your living from publicity then you have to take the good with the bad. I'm not referring to this woman specifically, but I'm sure there are examples where people would say someone is a role model and they have horrendous lifestyle choices. People condemn athletes for smoking, they condemn the likes of Paris Hilton or whoever for drinking to excess, why should overeating be any different? I'm sure that's not very PC, but I doubt it's an unpopular opinion either.

Your comparisons aren't valid. Someone drinking or smoking beside you is not equivalent to someone fat beside you. The first two are actions, the second is a state of being. If you want to compare obesity to drug addictions then having someone fat beside you would be more comparable to having someone hungover next to you or someone who struggles with breathing.

As to your second point, you are simply assuming that all fat people overeat. There are many reasons a person would be overweight. Eating the right amount of the wrong foods can leave you overweight. Not being able to get enough exercise is another for you. You can't automatically equate being overweight with simple overeating.

speedboatchase

Fat bird throws a wobbly. The only reason this has news value is because everyone is getting bigger and as such, pandered too. No one wants to be told that they're making unhealthy life choices or doing any harm to themselves and so you have women's magazines rejoicing when a celebrity "celebrates her curves" by piling on the pounds and becoming "one of us".

The letter sent to the reporter was mean but to devote 4 minutes of air time to it and project yourself as some kind of embattled role model? Spare me such garbage. Let's tax the hell out of junk food before we go further down this bizarre road where fat is "curvy", chubby is "healthy" and healthy is "dangerously underweight".

Iceboy

speedboatchase wrote: »

Fat bird throws a wobbly. The only reason this has news value is because everyone is getting bigger and as such, pandered too. No one wants to be told that they're making unhealthy life choices or doing any harm to themselves and so you have women's magazines rejoicing when a celebrity "celebrates her curves" by piling on the pounds and becoming "one of us".

The letter sent to the reporter was mean but to devote 4 minutes of air time to it and project yourself as some kind of embattled role model? Spare me such garbage. Let's tax the hell out of junk food before we go further down this bizarre road where fat is "curvy", chubby is "healthy" and healthy is "dangerously underweight".

Pretty much this, im sick of people making excuses for temselves, yes I used to be overweight and out of shape, I blame no one but myself. It didn't come from a disease, it came from me sitting on my ass as my metabolism slowed down instead of keeping up my fitness.

Wibbs

Spread wrote: »

Longevity is mostly genetic ...... as is health.

In the graph underneath, not too many of the uber-lightweights make it past 70. Just sayin'!

Genetics has a lot to do with longevity alright, but studies into the very long lived often show certain aspects of their genetics that everyone could emulate. One of the biggies is very long lived people have superior insulin management systems. They have lower blood sugar as a consistent thing(and fewer swings). A couple of studies have even shown that the lower your fasting glucose level, the younger you look for a given age, while at the extreme diabetics can look years older. For the rest of us not so well blessed we could cut down on the carbs we eat to get a similar effect. Exercise adds to this, though exercise itself, especially high level exercise produces quite a lot of oxidative processes/stress in the body. You could offset this by drinking tomato juice of all things. Studies show the lycopene in it pretty much eradicates it(it also acts as a low level skin SPF and reduces damage from smoking etc).

speedboatchase wrote: »

The only reason this has news value is because everyone is getting bigger and as such, pandered too.../... Let's tax the hell out of junk food before we go further down this bizarre road where fat is "curvy", chubby is "healthy" and healthy is "dangerously underweight".

There is certainly an element of this around at the mo. Our image of what constitutes healthy weight is all over the place. At both ends of the scale, especially regarding women's weight. Some female fashion role models are very underweight. You could argue dangerously. Rail thin 17 year old models catwalking like newborn gazelles whose thighs barely measure larger than their calves surviving on champers, ciggies and salad. That's much worse for health than being a bit porky, but that's seen as some ideal if the sales of fashion mags are anything to go by. Even the women seen as "normal weight" in the media are more than often bloody tiny in the flesh.

At the other end of the scale. F said this earlier;

Feeona wrote: »

just had a look at her and she isn't massive by any stretch of the imagination.

Oh she's not massive F, but she is most certainly carrying significantly more weight than would be the actual "normal" healthy set point weight range. Just as the catwalk model is too skinny, she is too fat.

As for reasons for it? Yes eating too much is the biggest obvious reason. It's not "genes" to the degree some claim. If it were photos of our great grandparents would show lots of fat people and they don't. With very fat people given what seems to be a recent and near epidemic of depression/mental illness in the modern world that for me would be one of the big drivers of this. Just another more obvious symptom of the underlying issue and often the meds that help the condition increase this particular symptom. Talk about a vicious circle for people.

With those who are a bit soft and porky, the ones 10-15% over ideal carrying a belly and in the case of some men being proud of the beer gut that's entirely self inflicted.

Either way how anyone looks shouldn't really be any issue for someone else. Not unless you're going out with them and they've gained(or lost) a bunch of weight and it's impacting the relationship. Otherwise mind yer own beeswax.

Matt_Trakker

Millicent wrote: »

Also, to add to my last post, I don't understand why some posters are taking pride in judging others by their appearance. Why would anyone be proud to advertise the fact that they're so shallow? It's not really an impulse that people should be so willing to indulge, let alone be proud to. It belongs on the playground, IMO.

*in the playground

Everybody judges everybody by appearance, stop Bs-ing us with your sanctimonious tone. I bet you look at teens wearing tracksuits and think 'knackers' or you hear someone speaking a foreign language in the place where you get some coffee and you think 'uh immigrants taking Irish jobs, why don't they speak English so I can eavesdrop on their conversations' or you see some people with red hair & freckles and you think "oh no, travellers' and you avoid eye contact. Or you see a black person and straight away think 'nigerians' even though it's Phil Babb or Paul McGrath. Or I bet when you see a woman with a crying kid in Dunnes you think 'pfft, single mother who can'y handle her child, I bet she's also some heroin crazed hooker and that child was born a crack addict'.

Everyone judges by appearance, it's human nature to see something and make a decision on it straight away. You're lying through your teeth if you say you don't.

Emeraldy Pebbles

I Am Kong! wrote: »

She mentions she has three kids of her own.

I believe she has a responsibility to those kids not be so fat and unhealthy.

She talks about leading by example, well she should take a look in the mirror. Does she want her kids to be like her? I doubt that very much.

I mean she probably can't enjoy any activities with them.

I think she needs a long hard look at herself before she starts shifting any responsibility she has as a parent onto society as a whole.

That's fine but has nothing to do with a busybody who doled out unsolicited advice to her. It's her business.

And speaking of parenting, if the email guy is a parent, and is so worried about the influence of TV on his kids, well then, I think he needs to turn the spotlight on himself.

Personally though, I think he couldn't give a crap about what kind of role model she is, I think he was just offended by the sight of an overweight person on his screen and decided to tack on some community responsibility bull to mask that.

Emeraldy Pebbles

Wibbs wrote: »

Rail thin 17 year old models catwalking like newborn gazelles whose thighs barely measure larger than their calves surviving on champers, ciggies and salad.

Where do I sign up? :pac:

kunst nugget

Wee Willy Harris wrote: »

more threads about fat people *sigh*

seriously, tone it down

That's what the emailer was asking the reporter to do and look where it got them!

Biggins

Emeraldy Pebbles wrote: »

That's fine but has nothing to do with a busybody who doled out unsolicited advice to her. It's her business.

And speaking of parenting, if the email guy is a parent, and is so worried about the influence of TV on his kids, well then, I think he needs to turn the spotlight on himself.

Personally though, I think he couldn't give a crap about what kind of role model she is, I think he was just offended by the sight of an overweight person on his screen and decided to tack on some community responsibility bull to mask that.

Exactly - then there is the aspect that helloooo... he is emailing (getting digs in and all) someone that works directly on TV - where did he expect her to reply to him, by phone call or maybe drop by his house?

For a number of reasons, he was an idiot.

dark crystal

Deleted User wrote: »

I would definitely judge someone who is obese as having little self control and in extreme cases, self respect..

Same way people judge me because of how many cigarettes I smoke a day. Or my girlfriend for being thin. Or my brother for being an alcoholic. Or another friend with a gambling addiction.

Why can't we criticize someone for being obese? People have no trouble pointing out my smoking and a few westerners have said my Vnese girlfriend is too thin. My brother definitely gets the rough end of it because of alcohol and the gambler is seen as a general mess by a lot. Pointing out our weaknesses and traits is sociably acceptable but the obese are shielded for some reason.

Because you don't know them, you don't know their circumstances, it isn't nice to point out people's flaws to them, it's judgemental, it's none of your business.

The people who criticise your girlfriend are assholes - her weight is her own concern. Let them worry about their own bodies instead of picking on someone else's.

Pointing out other people's weaknesses is pointless - everyone has weaknesses. Why on earth would anyone go out of their way to make someone feel terrible about themselves? I honestly don't get that mindset at all. I just think it displays a real meanness of character.

Millicent

Matt_Trakker wrote: »

*in the playground

Everybody judges everybody by appearance, stop Bs-ing us with your sanctimonious tone. I bet you look at teens wearing tracksuits and think 'knackers' or you hear someone speaking a foreign language in the place where you get some coffee and you think 'uh immigrants taking Irish jobs, why don't they speak English so I can eavesdrop on their conversations' or you see some people with red hair & freckles and you think "oh no, travellers' and you avoid eye contact. Or you see a black person and straight away think 'nigerians' even though it's Phil Babb or Paul McGrath. Or I bet when you see a woman with a crying kid in Dunnes you think 'pfft, single mother who can'y handle her child, I bet she's also some heroin crazed hooker and that child was born a crack addict'.

Everyone judges by appearance, it's human nature to see something and make a decision on it straight away. You're lying through your teeth if you say you don't.

*on the playground!

And no, no I do not do any of those things. Jesus! Not everyone's a bigot, you know.

dark crystal

dark crystal wrote: »

Because you don't know them, you don't know their circumstances, it isn't nice to point out people's flaws to them, it's judgemental, it's none of your business.

The people who criticise your girlfriend are assholes - her weight is her own concern. Let them worry about their own bodies instead of picking on someone else's.

Pointing out other people's weaknesses is pointless - everyone has weaknesses. Why on earth would anyone go out of their way to make someone feel terrible about themselves? I honestly don't get that mindset at all. I just think it displays a real meanness of character.

Criticise was too strong a word.. More meant it like "you should smoke less", "you should put on some weight", "you should give up the booze" and "you should give up gambling". "You should go on a diet" really isn't acceptable to say to anyone yet people have no problem saying the others.

ChubbyHubby

dark crystal wrote: »

Because you don't know them, you don't know their circumstances, it isn't nice to point out people's flaws to them, it's judgemental, it's none of your business.

The people who criticise your girlfriend are assholes - her weight is her own concern. Let them worry about their own bodies instead of picking on someone else's.

Pointing out other people's weaknesses is pointless - everyone has weaknesses. Why on earth would anyone go out of their way to make someone feel terrible about themselves? I honestly don't get that mindset at all. I just think it displays a real meanness of character.

What if the intention is not to make someone feel terrible about themselves? What if the person pointing out the weaknesses is just a self righteous busybody who thinks they are helping? It's certainly none of his/her business but it doesn't mean he/she can't criticize.

Let's take another public figure like Charlie Sheen for example. People can't criticize him for being an alcoholic and a junkie cause it's none of their business? Or is it ok because we're not talking about body weight which is a sensitive issue?

Going back to the original story, it's not like the emailer in this case went on to a public forum to criticize and humiliate her. Her husband dragged it out in the open which forced her to respond and she made it about bullying which it clearly isn't.

Esoteric_

I completely disagree with the poster (who has lost and gained back and then lost 60lbs) who said that losing weight is easy - it bloody well is not!

I used to be 19 and a half stone. I'm not getting into the whys and hows, but I had some 'issues' and over-ate, simple as that.

I realised I wasn't happy, so I did something about it. In two years, I have lost seven and a half stone, but still have another 2 stone to lose. However, it is FAR from easy. I think the diet change aspect of it is quite easy, as you can still eat, just eat healthily.

However, the most difficult part - if you're obese or extremely overweight (I was classed as 'super morbidly obese' by the way!), exercising (which is essential to healthy weight loss) is a painful, slow process. I'm at a stage now where I can run 5k and will do so most nights, but it took a hell of a lot of work to get me there. I used to go to the gym 5 days a week, and would exercise at the start until my feet blistered, bled and made me almost cry with pain. I would literally be unable to walk for the rest of the night when I got home. The pains, cuts and blisters lasted for 3 months after I first started exercising, because let's face it, what human body can happily hold 19 and a half stone in weight?


At the end of the day, I'm at 12 stone now and need to get to 10. I've no doubt that I'll get there, and I love exercise now, but it bloody well is not easy! The exercise is essential IMO, because if I had lost the weight through diet alone (which I could have done had I chosen to), I'd be nothing but a mess of saggy skin. To me, the exercise aspect was even more essential than the diet (although I still dieted and am still only eating healthy foods), because I didn't want sagging skin and I wanted to be physically healthy, not just thin. I can safely say it was the best decision that I ever made, because while I might not be at my target weight yet, I have absolutely no saggy skin, I have decent muscles and I'm healthy, with perfect blood pressure, cholesterol and all that good stuff.

That said, I'm on medication that slows my metabolism, and I have a pre-existing medical condition which affects my weight. So, although I may find it difficult, if I can lose weight and be healthy, so can anyone.

blatantrereg

The new South Park episode seems like it might have been inspired by this lady. Trey Parker and Matt Stone certainly disagree with the idea of obesity being considered a disease per sé anyway haha.

[The episode focuses on people who too obese to walk though, and society there [apparently] pandering to them, so in that context it stops being nobody else's business since it is directly effecting other people.]

MagicSean

ChubbyHubby wrote: »

What if the intention is not to make someone feel terrible about themselves? What if the person pointing out the weaknesses is just a self righteous busybody who thinks they are helping? It's certainly none of his/her business but it doesn't mean he/she can't criticize.

Let's take another public figure like Charlie Sheen for example. People can't criticize him for being an alcoholic and a junkie cause it's none of their business? Or is it ok because we're not talking about body weight which is a sensitive issue?

Going back to the original story, it's not like the emailer in this case went on to a public forum to criticize and humiliate her. Her husband dragged it out in the open which forced her to respond and she made it about bullying which it clearly isn't.

I'm wondering why you think it is your place to tell someone how unhealthy they are. Do you think they don't know? Does it satisfy some white knight complex you have that you feel you have to save them from themselves. If people want help they will ask for it. Same goes for your opinion.

Charlie sheen? They guy who got paid to go on the Comedy Central Roast? Yeah i think its ok to criticise him. He got paid to receive it. You are still not comprehending the difference though. There's a difference between looking at someone and then talking about them and going up to someone and telling them to their face that they look like **** and should do something about it.

The worst kind of abuse is the abuse that's hidden.

kunst nugget

MagicSean wrote: »

I'm wondering why you think it is your place to tell someone how unhealthy they are. Do you think they don't know? Does it satisfy some white knight complex you have that you feel you have to save them from themselves. If people want help they will ask for it. Same goes for your opinion.

Charlie sheen? They guy who got paid to go on the Comedy Central Roast? Yeah i think its ok to criticise him. He got paid to receive it. You are still not comprehending the difference though. There's a difference between looking at someone and then talking about them and going up to someone and telling them to their face that they look like **** and should do something about it.

The worst kind of abuse is the abuse that's hidden.

So if you pass comment on someone's weight to someone else you're being an even more abusive bully? What saint amongst us has never commented on another person's appearance? If you say you never have, you're full of crap.

coconut5

Just to add something useless to this discussion - Berger from Sex and the City (who dumped Carrie on a post-it note) is the news anchor's brother.

kunst nugget

coconut5 wrote: »

Just to add something useless to this discussion - Berger from Sex and the City (who dumped Carrie on a post-it note) is the news anchor's brother.

So the emailer was only calling her fat because of the heinous way that her brother broke up with Carrie? The plot thickens…

notnumber

coconut5 wrote: »

Just to add something useless to this discussion - Berger from Sex and the City (who dumped Carrie on a post-it note) is the news anchor's brother.

Sure its not Mr Big?:)

ChubbyHubby

MagicSean wrote: »

I'm wondering why you think it is your place to tell someone how unhealthy they are. Do you think they don't know? Does it satisfy some white knight complex you have that you feel you have to save them from themselves. If people want help they will ask for it. Same goes for your opinion.

It's really none of my business. I am just saying what gives you the right to tell someone that they can't criticize others?

Charlie sheen? They guy who got paid to go on the Comedy Central Roast? Yeah i think its ok to criticise him. He got paid to receive it. You are still not comprehending the difference though. There's a difference between looking at someone and then talking about them and going up to someone and telling them to their face that they look like **** and should do something about it.

The worst kind of abuse is the abuse that's hidden.

What does the Comedy Central Roast got to do with it which happened after all the drama? It's ok to dish it out to Charlie Sheen cause he was getting paid and benefiting from it? Well people are making the news lady to be a saint and champion of anti-bullying when it's not about bullying at all. So can I now call her a fatty to her face?

If i sent Charlie Sheen or Colin Farrell a similar once off email about alcohol and drug abuse, is it still bullying?

MagicSean

kunst nugget wrote: »

So if you pass comment on someone's weight to someone else you're being an even more abusive bully? What saint amongst us has never commented on another person's appearance? If you say you never have, you're full of crap.

No you misunderstood me. Try rereading my post as a paragraph by paragraph response to each of your paragraphs. If you don't get it come back to me and I'll try simplify it for you on a point by point basis.

MagicSean

MagicSean wrote: »

The worst kind of abuse is the abuse that's hidden.

In otherwords the type that doesn't exist?
I've never heard of hidden abuse.

Emeraldy Pebbles

coconut5 wrote: »

Just to add something useless to this discussion - Berger from Sex and the City (who dumped Carrie on a post-it note) is the news anchor's brother.

He is so hot. Mmmm. Sorry, what were we talking about? :pac:

MagicSean

ChubbyHubby wrote: »

It's really none of my business. I am just saying what gives you the right to tell someone that they can't criticize others?

What gives you the right to criticise someone to their face?

ChubbyHubby wrote: »

What does the Comedy Central Roast got to do with it which happened after all the drama? It's ok to dish it out to Charlie Sheen cause he was getting paid and benefiting from it? Well people are making the news lady to be a saint and champion of anti-bullying when it's not about bullying at all. So can I now call her a fatty to her face?

Charlie Sheen was paid to be roasted, the news lady was paid to read the news.

ChubbyHubby wrote: »

If i sent Charlie Sheen or Colin Farrell a similar once off email about alcohol and drug abuse, is it still bullying?

No, it's just abusive.

MagicSean

Bam Bam Mickey wrote: »

In otherwords the type that doesn't exist?
I've never heard of hidden abuse.

I'm referring to one person abusing another where others don't see it. It's most common in domestic abuse.