Irish Etiquette

The Mulk

Of all the outbreaks of infectious diseases over the years, none have caused as much sickness as 'a draft'.

Person A-"I won't be in work today, I think I sat in a draft last night"

Person B- "Mind yourself, that happened to my Da, it went into his ear, was out of work for a month"

podgemonster

If an Irish person reponds to a request with the double affirmative "I will, yeah", this in fact means "I most certainly will not and it humours me to think you thought I would"

For example:
Person 1: Will you clean up that mess in the back yard
Person 2: I will yeah!
Person 1: You're a bollox!

cyrusdvirus

A beast of a man

Nope, not someone who will slaughter you in your sleep, but actually talking about the physical attributes and strength of a man.

B0jangles

podgemonster wrote: »

If an Irish person reponds to a request with the double affirmative "I will, yeah", this in fact means "I most certainly will not and it humours me to think you thought I would"

For example:
Person 1: Will you clean up that mess in the back yard
Person 2: I will yeah!
Person 1: You're a bollox!

For a less subtle effect you could go with

"I will in me arse!"

opti0nal

If you want potato crisps, don't ask for 'chips'.

When filling in the census, it's your patriotic duty to claim to speak Irish.

Strawberry Swan

"I'm grand" - It means the person is ok not that they are massive as in the grand canyon!

'Heading' somewhere means 'going' and not something naughty.

'Your wan (one)' is a generic reference to a man or woman whose name is unknown or forgotten. You can also say 'your woman' or 'your man' but they definitely do not belong to them.

"Get out of here" - not an order but a statement of surprise (see F**k off)

I'd advise any incoming tourist to watch Fr. Ted to get a decent feel of our ways

Oh and big smiles and 'have a nice day' don't really exist in our service industry. That'd be just weird.

Ormus

Strawberry Swan wrote: »

'Your wan (one)' is a generic reference to a man or woman whose name is unknown or forgotten. You can also say 'your woman' or 'your man' but they definitely do not belong to them.

"Yer wan" is female only. "Yer man" is the male version.

Funglegunk

This thread is now famous I see.

davet82

Funglegunk wrote: »

This thread is now famous I see.

i feel like i've been robbed!

gobnaitolunacy

I feel violated, used and dirty.

Honey-ec

Funglegunk wrote: »

This thread is now famous I see.

I just got Facebooked it as I made the cut. I'll keep an eye on the post for my royalty cheque...

kylith

Boards.ie, the go-to site for stuck journalists right before deadline.

Honey-ec

kylith wrote: »

Boards.ie, the go-to site for stuck journalists right before deadline.

As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be...

Funglegunk

Funglegunk wrote: »

This thread is now famous I see.

It's good they gave the usernames as credit

davet82

bluewolf wrote: »

It's good they gave the usernames as credit

i dont see my name on it and it was my bloody idea! :pac:

languagenerd

Funglegunk wrote: »

This thread is now famous I see.

Jaysus, they quoted me talking about talking about the weather. How boring I now appear to be...!

Wee Willy Harris

We can be terrible sloppy joes, but our aim is true so do say hello back

MaxSteele

The word c*nt has many different meanings and is generally acceptable in any circumstances or situation.

shampooman

I was in Mauritius and an Indian fella came up to me and was all chatty and friendly. He began to tell me a story of how some of his family have moved to Ireland and I instinctively said " go waaaaaaaaaaaay" as in expressing mild shock to his tale..he looked at me with such a sad puppy dog face and said "ok" and just walked away. By time it dawned on me what happened it was too late and he was gone. That was 8 years ago...still haunts me.

juan.kerr

languagenerd wrote: »

Jaysus, they quoted me talking about talking about the weather. How boring I now appear to be...!

Just living up to part of your username I suppose, you nerd...

languagenerd

juan.kerr wrote: »

Just living up to part of your username I suppose, you nerd...

I guess so! Ironically, it actually really annoys me that everyone starts conversations about the weather!

gobnaitolunacy

Lazy journo no. 2

http://her.ie/story/paddy-etiquette-the-isms-that-make-us-irish-334233

Funglegunk

gobnaitolunacy wrote: »

Lazy journo no. 2

http://her.ie/story/paddy-etiquette-the-isms-that-make-us-irish-334233

Think she may actually be lazy journo no.3:

This morning, the Irish Sun compiled an etiquette guide for modern Ireland, based on online advice found on boards.ie.

gobnaitolunacy

Sorry, I was too lazy to read the entire...er...thing.

davet82

Funglegunk wrote: »

Think she may actually be lazy journo no.3:

any of the users get a mention in the article?

Funglegunk

davet82 wrote: »

any of the users get a mention in the article?

No idea, I don't read the Sun!

davet82

Funglegunk wrote: »

No idea, I don't read the Sun!

your loss

donvito99

B0jangles wrote: »

"I will in me arse!"

or the more romanticised;

"I will in me hole."

genie_us

If sitting in a doctor's waiting room, either you have man flu or actual flu or you're basically dying of something horrific. Your neighbour Mary just walks in..

Ah howaya Mary, how are you doing?
Ah grand Joe, not a bother on me. And yourself?
Great, great not a bother on me, grand altogether. Cough, splutter.

languagenerd

Pedestrian lights in Ireland have 3 colours. To you, these may mean "stop", "go" and "get ready to stop". In an Irish person's eyes, these mean:

Green: Cross.
Orange: Cross quicker!
Red: There are cars coming, but if you feel like the challenge, cross anyway.

GalwayGirl00

Acting the maggot....messing around
He hasn't hands to wipe his arse....he is useless

Chuck Stone

No matter how bad the service and food you've had in a restaurant when asked by the waitress:

'Was everything allright for ye?'

you must reply with:

Grand, thanks.

---

You must always invite visitors to your home back no matter how much you dislike them.

Merkin

Leaving Mass at Communion is grand

Saying "Jaysus that's a grand healthy country smell" when nearly floored with the smell of cow shit in the country

Miming along and pretending to know the words to the national anthem is grand

Asking favours in the negative: "you wouldn't lend me a tenner would ya?"

Ordering multiple drinks each when it's closing time.

Saying "there's a grand stretch in the evenings" once January 2nd comes

Saying "feck" is totally fine even in front of a priest because it's not a swear word

mahamageehad

You must always be dramatic about the weather.
As weather is such a common conversation piece it must be as throughly dramatized as possible.

It's absolutely lashing out of the heavens.
Raining cats and dogs.
Sure it's only a day for the ducks.
There's a wind out there nearly blew me away.
Sure that breeze would cut ya.
Sun is splitting the rocks.
It's fierce mild.

midlandsmissus

We're famous!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mikemac1

"known to the gardaí" = the local scumbag



You'd hear it on local radio. National news too

Boombastic

A compliment on your clothes


Response 1: This old thing
Response 2: Pennys

or

That;s a lovely dress you have on

Response: Do you like it?

Smidge

The Mustard wrote: »

There is protocol about the acceptable balance of drunkenness at Irish weddings, with sobriety and near sobriety being almost as frowned upon as as complete intoxication.

The only acceptable state at midnight is being 'nicely drunk', except for those who are pregnant or on medication.

I've never thought about it before but there is a classification of drunkeness here in Ireland

1: "One or two" (Not a bother)

2: "Had a few" (social amount and not the least bit drunk)

3: "Merry" (a few more than I thought I would have before I went out)

4: "Tipsy" (starting to find it difficult to count the money at the bar)

5: "Messy" (starting to stumble upon trying to go to the loo and telling stories you shouldn't)

6: "Plastered" (head down on the table in the pub)

7: "Scuttered" ( the clue is in the name:D)

Feel free to do your own amendments:)

Balmed Out

This thread was also mentioned in the tv3 womens panel show thingy that i have no idea the name of.

midlandsmissus

Boombastic wrote: »

A compliment on your clothes


Response 1: This old thing
Response 2: Pennys

or

That;s a lovely dress you have on

Response: Do you like it?

So true. Me and my friends were actually doing a take on this one night we were quite 'merry'. We were saying how it is now ironclad in Irish etiquette that if anyone compliments your clothes you must say 'Penneys'. No other answer is acceptable. So we were saying people will eventually just say Penneys to everything whn asked where they got it

So it was the running joke of the night, some-one would say love your new flat Ciara 'Penneys' love the car John 'Penneys'.


One of these days I'm going to break the mold screaming and go 'tHANK YOU, IT WAS QUITE EXPENSIVE FROM A NICE SHOP!!!!!'

A lad that's a bit of a trouble maker but from an otherwise respectable family is said to have

"fallen in with the wrong crowd" or "was lead astray"

Never their own fault :pac:

Its common to read in the court reports in my local paper.

davet82

Irish people like to 'go down to' belfast, donegal or derry for the weekend despite heading 100 miles north

maybe a dublin thing?

cyrusdvirus

davet82 wrote: »

Irish people like to 'go down to' belfast, donegal or derry for the weekend despite heading 100 miles north

maybe a dublin thing?

Nope.

We used go down to Limerick the whole time....
When living in Cork

MJ23

Balmed Out wrote: »

This thread was also mentioned in the tv3 womens panel show thingy that i have no idea the name of.

Why were you watching that dirt?

davet82

MJ23 wrote: »

Why were you watching that dirt?

more importantly, what were they saying? :pac:

padd b1975

Saying someone is "not well" followed by a knowing look means they are suffering from depression.

Boombastic

midlandsmissus wrote: »

.............


One of these days I'm going to break the mold screaming and go 'tHANK YOU, IT WAS QUITE EXPENSIVE FROM A NICE SHOP!!!!!'

If you try that, you'll have to leave the country

All the jealous, begrudgers will be on you case:pac:

deisebibo

"Sure look" is a perfectly valid answer to anything that you don't really know what to say.

Friend 1: "I can't believe i shifted him last night"

Friend 2: "Sure look"

Malari

deisebibo wrote: »

"Sure look" is a perfectly valid answer to anything that you don't really know what to say.

Friend 1: "I can't believe i shifted him last night"

Friend 2: "Sure look"

As is the "shur wha' harm?" variant.

Friend 1: "I got pissed last night and texted the boss and told him what i think of him!"
Friend 2: "Shur wha' harm?"

Balmed Out

MJ23 wrote: »

Why were you watching that dirt?

I wasn't but they showed a clip discussing it on an add for the programme