Irish Etiquette

FREDNISMO

IN the warm weather we turn our wellies down in an attempt to keep cool

pauldla

@ Reindeer

There is no injury in consent, sir, so please keep them coming!

cyrusdvirus

I'm SOOOO glad that i am sitting here in the office by myself, cos i am giggling away here at Reindeer's introduction to the Irish Mammy.

About the only thing missing could have been a look of confusion on his face as she mentions bourbon and comes out with biscuits instead of whisky!!

who the fug

gatecrash wrote: »

I'm SOOOO glad that i am sitting here in the office by myself, cos i am giggling away here at Reindeer's introduction to the Irish Mammy.

About the only thing missing could have been a look of confusion on his face as she mentions bourbon and comes out with biscuits instead of whisky!!

What intrigues me is the absence of his girl friend from the story, did she send Reindeer in first to sate the Irish mammy hunger before showing up

who the fug

If has nor been mentioned, never ever answer a direct question, till you figure out all the angles

Voodoomelon

Reindeer wrote: »

"Cup o' tea?"

"Pardon?"

"You'll have some tea will you?"

"Oh, thanks. But, we must be going soon."

"Just a cup of tea then..."

"Oh no, thank you so much. I'm fine, really."

"Oh sure, you'll have some tea."

"Oh no, please don't put yourself out. I am perfectly fine. We'll only be here a moment before we've got to catch the bus"

"Oh you're silly. Sugar?" In Texas, it is very common for a woman that is your senior to refer to a man as 'sugar' or 'hon', in politeness. So, I was surprised to see some tea arrive moments later after I gave her a smile and a nod. I thought she simply had said, "You're silly, Sugar".

She dropped 2 lumps into the mug before me.

"Milk?"

"Oh, nah. Uh, plain is fine for me, thanks."

"Ah, you'll have a bit of milk."

"Oh, really this is just fine", I replied in earnest. Tea with milk? It was an odd suggestion for me at the time.

"Sure have some milk"

"That's really very kind to offer, but I'm -"

"Not a bother", She immediately poured milk in to my tea.

I tried not to act surprised. At this point I was curious to see how it would taste and was about to give it a try.

"Oh ohohoh. Wait." she admonished me. I stopped my drinking, and looked up to see her disappear from the room. Moments later she sticks her head out from the kitchen doorway and says,

"Biscuit?"

"Uh..." Still being new to Ireland, I thought she was literally offering me something like a scone or a danish. In any case, I was beginning to become confused by the whole tea process.

"I couldn't possibly. I'm really only just here for a few, you know. "

"We've some bourbons.", she looked at me and smiled.

"Bourbons? Oh, thanks really. The tea is more than enough."

She presented herself from around the corner holding a tray heavy with 'cookies' and a few other baked goods I didn't recognize, and I had my first tea and biscuits in Ireland..

In Texas, that exchange does't even really exist. If you are a visitor, you are simply politely presented with some iced tea without a word being said. If you are at the door, or may be in a hurry, you are offered a tea so as not to be rude, but with the full expectation of it being turned down if it is the case the person truly must be on their way with something like, 'Oh, no, thank you. I must be going." Which if you'll notice, was about my first reply up above.

I learned to never turn down an offer of tea in Ireland; want it or not.

I ended up getting hooked on the tea - absolutely love it now and couldn't start the day without it. Especially love it with a smoke. Cheers.

In fairness that's not your typical offering of tea, she sounds like a pushy nutjob.

salad dodger

Another unique take on the english language:

'my uncle died last week'
'oh ya, what'd he die of?'
'he died of a tuesday'

fupduck

I read elsewhere on boards that the tea thing comes from the famine, (I cannot remember where, so can't quote ) . Not sure how true it is , but it made sense to me'
Basically the poster said, that if somebody came to your home, you were polite and you offered them tea, whether you had tea or not. As everybody was in the same boat, if offered, you refused the offer. If the second offer of tea came, then , you would know that there was in fact tea in the household, so it was then perfectly ok to accept the offer.
I'm sure the original poster phrased it much better than I have just done, but hope you get the basic drift :-)

WoollyRedHat

When refering to a member of the opposite sex, " She's good craic" or "sound" generally means she isn't that great looking.

Come here till I , is usually followed by a threat of violence, mostly from ones mother or father when you've done something wrong.

A wooden spoon is a weapon, not a cooking instrument.

When ringing the Guards to report a crime, coming out after 30 minuets is early.

The culinary choice for the general irish college student on their lunchbreak is usually the chipper or a chicken baguette role.

Most nights out will result in a compulsory visit to the local chipper or abrakebabra, which is only frequented when drunk.

The word like and omg make up the majority of words in the lexicon of the ferverent class known as a D4, a posh wannabe california girl that wears lots of fake tan.


When someone is flat out broke, it usually means they can't afford to go out on the piss.

The word town is synomnous with Dublin City Centre. Anyone that lives outside the capitol Dublin is regarded as a culchie.

The number of words or phrases used to describe ones drunkenness is infinite. Said description of ones drunkeness is usally given when summing up how good/ mad a night was had...

When an Irish person uses the word dying when describing the morning after going out, they are not actually dying but just suffering from a particularly bad hangover. The ailment to said hangover usually involving a good old fry up and tea.

The serving of tea is an acceptable form of consoling somebody after something particularly bad has happened, such as a death, or having a bad accident.

Going to the shop usually refers to the local convenience store, despite it's generic meaning. Going abroad and using this will certainly confuse anyone not Irish

When somebody says thank you, it is not unusual to be thanked for saying thank you.

When someone asks if you're well, do not reply back with a description of your health, just say you're grand.


The leaving on of the immersion in your house while empty is the equivalent to leaving a nuclear reactor unattended.

It is customary to sing the national anthem down the country at the end of a night.


The bitching of a friend one second to automatic change of attitude as soon as said friend comes into room.

"Can I borrow a cigarette off you" is a common request, despite making absolutely no sense.

After Christmas dinner, the left overs constitute the staple of an Irish persons diet for at least a week " Sure that turkey will do you for your sandwiches for tomorrow" . This probably explains the serving of turkey as a yearly event, as everyone is sick to their stomach after enduring a whole week of dry turkey sandwiches.

baldbear

"what did your parents die from?" " Auld age." It always made me smile when my dad said this to the doctors.

IvySlayer

No matter what the situation is, offer them a cup of tea.

WoollyRedHat

The term Knacker drinking is the Irish solution to not being of the legal drinking age, which usually involves teenages drinking outside on a freezing night with the cheapest beer they could find. Dutch Gold/ Devils Bit is a teenage passage of writ.

In order to buy said drink, if a person is not lucky enough to have an older and sounder brother or sister, then the youth must resort to go fishing, to get their drink. They do not in fact actually go out fishing, instead sending someone to wait outside an off licence and getsomeone who is over 18 and sound to buy drink for them.

dttq

A guide to Irish etiquette, of course it just had to have a reference to boiled potatoes, peppered with references to alcohol.

mikemac1

Majors for young lads wanting the highest strength and old grannies who bought them for decades

Nothing wrong with John Players but if you ask for Johnny Blue you are a skanger

Benson and Hedges for working people

Silk Cut for the wimmins

Marlboro Lights for everyone

Rollies for the sophisticated smokers who know good tobacco and also for poor students who can't afford anything else

Armin_Tamzarian

"Ah, there was worse than us there."
- We were obnoxiously drunk but someone managed to take the attention off us by being even drunker and more obnoxious than us.

"Some yoke".
-You car is nice.

"He'd be fairly tight."
-He's a hard bastard.

"I went in for the cure."
-I'm at best a borderline alcoholic who hit the pub at 1130 to stave off a hangover.

smash

Since this thread made it to the journal website and quoted some of us... Where's our royalties?

suicide_circus

Them kunts at thejournal.ie are gas lads. Kunt being a term of endearment in Ireland.

gobnaitolunacy

dttq wrote: »

A guide to Irish etiquette, of course it just had to have a reference to boiled potatoes, peppered with references to alcohol.

What did you expect? References to skinny lattes or ciabattas?

IncognitoMan

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

After Christmas dinner, the left overs constitute the staple of an Irish persons diet for at least a week " Sure that turkey will do you for your sandwiches for tomorrow" . This probably explains the serving of turkey as a yearly event, as everyone is sick to their stomach after enduring a whole week of dry turkey sandwiches.

Easily my favorite part of Christmas. I fecking love those turkey sandwiches

Boombastic

Perfectly acceptable to drive in the 'fast' lane of the motorway at 60km/h, with a line of cars having to break behind you, sure can't they pass you on the 'slow' lane if they're in that much of a hurry


Also acceptable if you own a BMW/Volvo/merc to just pull straight out of a cross roads in front of traffic or if the person in front is going too slow to drive right behind them leaving no breaking room


Never mind the signs on the motorway that say 'no vehicles under 50cc', just drive in the lay-by

pickarooney

suicide_circus wrote: »

If someone offers you a 'mineral' do not expect to receive any kind of geological deposit.

Would you like some fizzy drinks, Hank?

ViveLaVie

ViveLaVie wrote: »

The appropriate response to ''You'll have a cup?'' is either ''Gasping!'' or ''I'd love a cup''.

"feck off, cup"

Mr Grumpy

If you're going to the shops will ya get me a sliced pan, some red lemonade, brown sauce, scallions and curly kane for the dinner?

Loan us 20 euro will ya - the young one next door will be round in her communion dress in a bit.

Ah sure he's an awful b*llix altogether = That gentleman is a bit of a scoundrel.

Sit down Pat you're on the minerals - I'll get the round in. Are ya sure you won't have a drink?

No self respecting Irishman would put his car in his garage - that's for the lawnmower, bits of wood and the recycling.

Hot press = Airing cupboard

Feck off = I'm serious

Fcuk off = I'm only messing

stoneill

baldbear wrote: »

"what did your parents die from?" ".

He died of a Tuesday

mikemac1

You don't say excuse me

Instead you say sorry to everyone

Trying to get off the bus and some 20 stone blob blocking the corridor?

You apologize to them!

Waiter ignoring you and giving you bad service?
Say sorry to get his attention


Be a good Irish person and never ever complain.
Instead blast the place afterwards to anyone who will listen

DenMan

Asking someone a question and then immediately answering it for them. 9 times out of ten it's always a no. eg "Do you want to watch that programme on tv tonight?" "No!" It really annoys me!

Paully D

If you're with a friend and a nice looking girl walks past, you absolutely must look back at her and then turn to your friend and both say "would" or similar at the same time.

Mogwa89

How about these....Gowlin' Galavantin' or Caflin (I presume this one is about acting like a calf?)....All favorites of my mother " Stop yer gowlin' or I'll get the wooden spoon!!"

"You wouldn't be well when you're sick".....G'way!?

Mr.McLovin

great thread I stumbled across, good few laughs here

could squeeze a few more laughs out of it too i'm sure

John Farmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/81222831#Comment_81222831

I always turn my wellies down in warm weather, makes more sense !!