How do you apologise?

eirator

Stupid question? Anyway here goes, my big dog scared the sh!t out of a lady walking her dogs today, mine was off the lead and I would have popped him on the lead but I thought both her's were off. One wasn't so she was tied to it and both dogs (one large terrier one spaniel) took offence at mine when he bounded over and there was lots of barking, growling and that annoying pretending I've just had the beating of my life whine that JRT types do but no actual dog contact. When I got closer I said sorry but the dogs never actually made contact with each other to be told "but I was scared witless" which I can fully understand but don't really see how I can do anything about it.

My problem is that big dog is scary, black, big (28 inches at the shoulder and 50Kgs) and is a GSD type that looks like a wolf, its my fault I didn't put him back on the lead and of course he should be muzzled, I thought he had met both dogs before and that both were off the lead. Normally if I see another dog on a lead I put him straight back on unless of course I know the other dogs and the owner

So do I go off find the owner (local but no sure where exactly) and say sorry I'll keep him on the lead on that spot where I might see her again, which could make matter worse or say nothing?

Big dog is a total softy his only fault other than breed and looks is he has to go and say hello to every dod he sees, he's not even bothered if they take a chunk out of him its all a big game as far as he's concerened.

tk123

TBH the dogs probably would have gone mental even if yours was on the lead when you passed - some smaller dogs and their owners don't like big dogs - end of. You apologied so I wouldn't be worrying if you did the right thing or not or explaining yourself to her - just put him on the lead next time you see her and maybe work on your recall too in case it happens again? I find my dog's recall much better when i use his whistle and it kind gives a good impression and shows I've actually bothered training him etc

eirator

tk123 wrote: »

TBH the dogs probably would have gone mental even if yours was on the lead when you passed - some smaller dogs and their owners don't like big dogs - end of. You apologied so I wouldn't be worrying if you did the right thing or not or explaining yourself to her - just put him on the lead next time you see her and maybe work on your recall too in case it happens again? I find my dog's recall much better when i use his whistle and it kind gives a good impression and shows I've actually bothered training him etc

Thanks, I guess I started this thread to calm myself down a bit while I was thinking what to do.

I'm back from finding the neighbor and saying sorry and they thanked me for comming up and apologising. It was all my fault and to make matters worse it had to happen to someone who is clearly very scared of big dogs. There really isn't much more I can do other than put him on a lead in that particular area as its the only bind spot on a 3 mile walk.

I checked with another neighbor to see where to go and I discovered the reason I thought I knew the dogs was because there are 2 others from the same litter that wander off on their own sometimes and we've bumped into them on our walks.

Still a needed reminder that not everyone likes big wolf like dogs the way we do.

DBB

eirator wrote: »

there was lots of barking, growling and that annoying pretending I've just had the beating of my life whine that JRT types do but no actual dog contact. When I got closer I said sorry but the dogs never actually made contact with each other to be told "but I was scared witless" which I can fully understand but don't really see how I can do anything about it.


Big dog is a total softy his only fault other than breed and looks is he has to go and say hello to every dod he sees, he's not even bothered if they take a chunk out of him its all a big game as far as he's concerened.

Hey OP,
First off, it is admirable that you want to go to a bit of trouble to make amends with the owner of the other two dogs. You understood her position and it seems to me a genuine mistake on your part in this instance. I'd be inclined to wait and see do you meet her again, and if you do, make damn sure your big fella is on-lead, and go tell her again that you didn't mean to frighten her, will keep your dog on-lead etc.
Edited to add: oh! I see you've already done that! Well done, that was a good move!


I'm also going to play Devil's Advocate here, not to have a go at you OP, not at all, but your story highlights a very common problem.
There seems to be a common misconception that just because one's dog bounds over to others just for a play, or just to say hello, or just to have a look, and doesn't touch them or come into contact with them, there's no harm done.
But there is harm done, in many cases. It may not be physical damage, but psychological damage which results in consequent behavioural problems in the dog being approached. In fact, I'd go so far to say that most dogs that have dog-dog aggression issues, developed them at least partly as a result of panicking when they see someone else's dog bounding over to them, even if it is just to say hello.
The problem is, for a dog to bound up to another dog is bad canine manners. A polite dog approaches another fairly slowly, in an arc (not in a straight line), getting slower as they get closer, ears and tail lowered, and exhibiting nice, peaceful, "I come in peace" calming signals.
For an on-lead dog particularly, but also for dogs who prefer to stick close to their owner when off-lead (whether trained to do so, or by its own volition), it is really, really scary to see another dog approach if it comes up quickly, and/or in a straight line, and/or contravening any of the above polite canine approaches.
And so, the nice quiet and/or well trained dog is put in a very difficult position when others allow their dogs bound over "to say hello", and the nice quiet dog is left with few options now but to tell the rudely approaching dog to back bloody well off. This behaviour can generalise quickly onto all other dogs, and all of a sudden, the innocent bystander owner is left with a dog with a difficult behavioural problem. So, owners of dogs who bound up to other dogs uncontrolled really need to think about the role they play in changing the innocent bystander's behaviour for the worse.
Owners of uncontrolled dogs also need to consider that if their dog continues to approach others in this rude manner, that dog will, one day, meet the wrong dog, and will get the s**t kicked out of him, which could consequently make him dog aggressive himself.
Not only that, but owners of dogs who are kept under control get royally peed off with other people's rude dogs, and start to carry sticks/water pistols etc with them: one of my own large dogs has been thwacked across the nose by just such a person, even though my dog was walking on-lead, to heel, the other person was walking towards us and took exception to my dog looking at her. But that lady was so scared of other dogs because of her previous experiences with large dogs, which were not her fault. She did apologise to me, in the end
So, to any owner of dogs who bound over "just to say hello", please stop and think about what's happening, and the potential fall-out for the dog he's approaching, and for your dog himself. In short, OP, you need to start working on your dog's approach skills, and until he's a lot better, he needs to stay on-lead if there is any danger of him bounding up to other dogs uninvited.
One last thing: if the other owner has their dog off-lead, it does not necessarily mean that you're somehow entitled to let your dog off. If their dog is off-lead but staying with or around their owner, it is utterly unfair to use that as an excuse to allow your dog approach. Fair enough if their dog comes bounding up to yours... in that case its owner can hardly complain, but not if the dog is under control or minding its own business.
Remember that if your dog is on the restricted breeds list, and that includes xbreeds of those breeds, then they must not only be muzzled, but on-lead. If the owner of one of these dogs is going to let them off-lead, surely it is sensible to make damn sure your dog doesn't give another owner justification to complain? You haven't a leg to stand on if you're breaking the law.. so don't give people a reason to make a complaint about your dog.

ppink

I see a campaign going around FB for a while now, particularly in the US, for those who have dogs who do not like to be approached to wear a yellow ribbon on their lead. I was just thinking how it has taken so long for people to think abotu this. Ever since I was a small horses and ponies wore red ribbons on their tails to indicate that they may kick....something like that should be done for dogs too. Always part of my kit if taking one of my horses anywhere was red ribbons as he did not like other horses crowding behind him and would be likely to flatten them if gifted an opportunity.

eirator

Fully understand your post DBB, it was one of the sh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!T moments, after about 8 years doing the same walk everyday (only 18months with this dog) we know just about every other dog and owner on the walk, this time I saw the dogs thought OK then it was too late when I realised it wasn't. The odd time we see a strange dog or new owner (I even have binoculars with me to check ahead) its on the lead and a detour if necessary to say hello and ask the owners if they want me to put him on the lead if we meet again.

Familiarity breeds contempt and just where we start the walk there is an area we pass twice a day where people park and give their dogs a very short walk so it is the one place we should know to be more careful particularly on a Sunday which is the one time some dogs seem to get a walk.

I even knew it was dogs we didn't know as he went off and he normally goes through a play routine of laying down paws forward waiting for the other dog to make a move if its one of his old friends.

aynneone

I know this thread is nearly a month old, but dont often get time to myself to sit down and have a trawl through things that are not work(paid) related. I have worked with dogs/animals for 35 years now, and currently work one night a week on a mobile clinic(voluntary lol), so I think Im in a kind of a position to be able to have a wee rant about this subject... Ive had German Shepherds now for 30 years, plus a JRT, plus a fat, as opposed to fast whippet, but all my dogs are house/bed dogs, and they get their 3 mile run every day... but what ohh what is this obsession with people wanting their dogs to play with every dog you meet. I dont muzzle my German Shepherd, but she is ALWAYS on a lead when in public, Im lucky in as far as I live near fields where they can run.. but over the years, my dogs have been attacked by more dogs than I care to remember purely because they have been on the lead and under control. One lady in particular who lives locally used to have a pack of multi breed dogs including a white boxer, I in the end had to stop walking in case I would meet her, 4 or 5 of her dogs would circle Sula, snarling, and when I politely asked her to get them under control was told, I knew nothing about dogs, if I did I would understand they only wanted to play!!!.. Play...lol, if Id have let Sula off the lead she would have bolted off up the railway through fear... Now I have Jess who isnt the calm dog Sula was, and at 11 months is still learning, but we still have this problem of dogs running at her when shes on the lead, just 'wanting to play'... She plays, she has 2 sisters, she has a select band of dogs she plays with also, and all Im trying to train her to do is walk past other dogs on the lead and ignore them, she doesnt need to love every other dog in the world. Wish there was some system like there is with working dogs wherby there is a visual sign to alert people to keep their dogs away.. Am I an aul crank????

nala2012

So mad... My mom was walking our 13yr old dog on monday night. She was at the local pier where a lot of people walk dogs. Anyway my neighbour was coming towards her with his 4 red setters all off lead and started telling her to put meg on lead because one of his dogs are aggressive. Next thing the four dogs were attacking meg, my mom said he kept walking and calling the dogs, he didn't even have a lead with him. Anyway poor meg had to be brought to vet and has a bite on her hip thats down to the bone she's on pain killers and antibiotics. Because they're our neighbours my parents don't want to report him but they are getting him to pay the vet bill. I can't understand why he had 4 dogs and no lead especially when at least one of the dogs is aggressive what was he thinking?

DBB

He tells your mum to put her dog on a lead, because his off lead dog is aggressive? :-o
Bloody hell!
Your mum can easily make a complaint without being identified... The wardens can monitor the area and deal with Setter man completely independently of your incident. If nothing is done about him, his dogs are going to injure someone else's dog. What if the next dog is old? Weak? There's a child, or elderly person, or disabled person, holding the lead? Perhaps if you come at it from this angle, your mum might make a call?!

kylith

If I were your mum I'd report him, even if she didn't say it had happened to her but that she'd seen it happen.