When you had you last was it really your last

Rabidlamb

Wife had our 3rd child 2 weeks ago, I'm 39 & she's 3 years younger.
We've both convinced ourselves that's our last child, this has only been reinforced by nappies, sterilizing & night feeds again.
We're looking into semi-permanent contraception options.

When you had your final child was it really your last one ?
Did anyone find themselves questioning that decision down the line ?.

Ayla

First, congrats on #3.

Yes, we had 2 & are done. Permanently. I'm 32 & he's 27 (:D) but we decided after #2 was born in 2009 that we were done. I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever, and it takes only a moment of holding/dealing with another person's newborn to remind us that we made the right choice. I've never been one to get broody though.

In your case, semi-permanent options may be the best. If you're questioning this online then you're not 100% sure so you don't want to burn any bridges.

Too

I know what you mean. We are expecting no 3 in January. I'm 33 and she's 32. She keeps saying this is DEFINETLY our last but when I suggest getting her tubes clamped while the obgyn is in there (we know its going to be a section) she says "No I'm only 32....".

If not sure then don't do it.

Hannibal Smith

We had our second last year and after the first 12 weeks of colic and no sleep we decided that was it. Also childbirth doesn't agree with me lol....my Bp goes haywire after and I spend 7 days in hospital afterwards and only get out by hounding and begging the doctors. And I haven't even mentioned child care costs.

Ideally I would love one more! I love the 6-12 month stage. They're cute and cuddly, sleeping reasonably well...their first time crawling, standing, they can't give cheek, make too much of a mess and are controllable...you want them in the car, you can lift them up and put them in it!

But I just couldn't do the childbirth and first 12 weeks all over again...so yes my last really is my last.

kelle

I had no.3 at 36 - I just went through all the motions knowing it would be my last ever! I'm now 42 and enjoying life with my children who are all getting so independent - it's great and I don't want to go back.

By the way, congratulations rabidlamb!

edellc

I have a beautiful 2yrs old boy and he is my first and last, I had a terrible pregnancy not only that my partner was very very ill for most of it and it was a struggle, we also had a lot of problems with our home and had to move twice in less than a year so that was awful.

My birth didnt go to plan either and I was terribly upset with the midwife as I couldn't push against my parnters hip as he had a really bad back and sciatica but she didnt listen so I had nothing to push against as she wouldnt put up the stirrups and made my labour much much longer and distressing than it needed to be. Only after 19hrs and I refused to push anymore stating I would rather die as they were just not listening did she eventually get the doctor and baby was actually stuck on my pelvis bone so there was no way he was coming out without doctor and the midwife just hadnt listened to me.

Then when we went back to an over crowded ward I was put in the middle of the ward as in down the middle aisle at the end of someone elses bed with no curtain as it wasnt even a space for a bed, this was at breakfast time so i was not having any sleep, within an hour a nurse came in and dragged me out of bed and into the showers and less than 24hrs after this I was at home.

I have since been diagnosed with an under active thyroid and was quite ill for some time after giving birth, so I will never put myself through such an experience again, ever.

I feel guilty most days as I look at my little fella and feel I should give him a little brother or sister as I lost my mam last year and having sisters around made it easier so I feel guilty that he wont have that if anything was to happen to me or my partner, but I still to this day have flash backs to the labour and the horrid midwife and I suppose the fear of going through that experience again makes me say a definite no to another child.

I really wanted a nicer birth experience but Hollis street really put me off and I really dont think any other hospital would be better, as for the cattle run that is the monthly appointments when your pregnant, need I say anymore. Pregnancy and birth are suppose to be a beautiful thing by mine was ruined and I really have found it hard to get over it and forget.

Shivers26

I have 2 boys (13 & 5). The thoughts of going all the way back to the start again really freaks me out but in reality I think we will have one more (5 more if he had his way!). I also know that I am not ready just yet for a new addition and right now we just can't afford it.

I have had a mirena in since we had the last guy and it has been great. It lasts 5 years and you basically don't have to worry about contraception at all with it. I found the first couple of months a bit annoying while it settled in but I never looked back.

At least this way I know that if we do decide to try for a baby it will be totally our decision.

Please Kill Me

LOL, yeah my fiancee and I had a conversation a few months back when she said she wanted another one. I'm going on 42 and she's 26, but I told her it was ok for her, but I felt a bit old to have another. As it is we have 5 children between us (2 that live with us) one of them is 18 months old. Anyhoo, long story short, she's three months pregnant now. So no, our "last" wasn't our last, but hopefully this one is!

Charl0tte

I knew before I was pregnant with my second it would be my last. I don't like being pregnant (I know how awful that sounds), but it doesn't agree with me. I have a small frame but both my babies were large and I gained a lot of weight even though I watched what I ate. The problem was I wasn't getting to move around as I suffered from SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction), which is where the weight of the baby was too much for my body and it was separating my pelvis. I couldn't give birth naturally either, so I had CS's on both. I just associate pregnancy with a lot of pain and exhaustion. When I had my children the pain didn't stop there as I struggled with my CS wounds and was pretty out of shape as a result of being practically immobile with SPD.

Once I had my second I made a commitment to get back in shape, fit and healthy so I could enjoy my children, and I did. With only two, I can give them a lot of the things they want, whereas if I had more children I'd have to spread the money around more, and they wouldn't have as good a quality of life for it. I don't spoil them or anything, I just don't want us to ever struggle. Yep, I'm done with kids, the two I have are all I need!

Khannie

Charl0tte wrote: »

I don't like being pregnant (I know how awful that sounds)

Doesn't sound awful at all. Most of pregnancy looks like a chore to me. Nobody's denying there are up sides but by jaysus the down sides can be rough.

eviltwin

I have two and I am done. The fact I have a boy and a girl makes it an easy decision. I'm just too selfish really to go through all that again.

Queen-Mise

The day we went to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy on Child #2, I told the doctor I wasn't having any more kids - no matter what happens. So every doctors & pre-natal visit this came up, it came up in the labour ward, recovery room, in the ward with the baby. And leaving the hospital I had an appt for six weeks for the tubes being clamped.

My hubby can have another 1000 kids if he wants , but I wasn't having any more. I don't regret the decision in the slightest (once or twice I got broody - so we have a miniature Jack Russell & guinea pigs for those!!!).

I had to go with the tubes being tied though - as none of the female contraception suits me at all. It wasn't feasible to be using condoms for 15 years.