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the guy in the red suit.... time for the talk yet?

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    #62
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Wantobe wrote: »
    My eight year old believes in Santa very seriously. Also the tooth fairy, but for some reason not fairies in general. Last week when one of her teeth fell out she left a questionnaire under her pillow for the tooth fairy to fill in. She even drew boxes where she asked the tooth fairy to draw a picture of herself and her home and her pet etc etc. This is the same eight year old that has serious discussions with me about whether God exists. It's fun in our house.:D

    http://www.ellentv.com/2012/09/25/maggie-elizabeth-jones-tooth-fairy-questionnaire/


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    #63
    fishy fishy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,456 ✭✭✭fishy fishy


    Ickle Magoo wrote: »
    Some kids are very suspicious/questioning/rational by nature tho so insisting there is these make-believe characters wouldn't be letting them be them either. I have a wee man who has never believed in Santa and who even as a toddler looked at us like we had three heads when we tried to describe Santa/tooth fairies/easter bunnies, etc etc. His sister on the other hand would believe anything and her brother loves helping us set up all the make-believe for her and joining in on the whole theatre of it but he's never been fooled for a minute that it's real. I think it really depends on the child rather than being inherent.

    exactly, and thank goodness your non-believer child does not want to spoil it for the child that believes. I feel it would be extremely unfair.

    and a PARENT wanting to spoilt it for a kid - well that's just scrooge like. :cool:


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    #64
    opinion guy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,001 ✭✭✭✭opinion guy


    fishy fishy wrote: »
    I feel it would be extremely unfair.

    Why would it be extremely unfair ?


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    #65
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    fishy fishy wrote: »
    exactly, and thank goodness your non-believer child does not want to spoil it for the child that believes. I feel it would be extremely unfair.

    and a PARENT wanting to spoilt it for a kid - well that's just scrooge like. :cool:

    I don't agree that's always the case tbh...if you choose to teach/have your child believe things that aren't actually true, however cute and well-meaning, the flip side to that is that sometimes you have a child who thinks babies are made when the stork arrives or santa still exists when their peers know the truth - and that is an equally unfair position to deliberately put a child in.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm all for young children revelling in the magic of santa or whatever - but there is a line and I think it is horribly unfair to knowingly ensure a child blindly crosses that in terms of being at the mercy of their peers...which is why I suggested the OP suss out what their child really knows as that will give them a better idea of whether anything needs to be said at this time.


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    #66
    Suucee
    Registered Users Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭Suucee


    I think i was about 7 or 8 when a conversation came up in school about santa. They were saying he wasnt real etc and i was dumb struck. To fit in i didnt question it just said aah yea i know, i've known ages.
    I asked my older sister who pointed out that my parents would never be able to afford the presents we got.
    But the more i thought about it it just didnt seem to make sence. So i asked my sister again. All the usual questions about how he got into the house, how did he bring so much toys in his sleigh, how he got everywhere in one night. Even how my spoilt rotten cousin who was a walking demon managed to get brilliant presents if she was so bold all the time. My sister ended up telling me the truth but told me to pretend i didnt know so we would still get good presents.
    So for the next few years i wrote out my list and left out carrots, milk and biscuits. I even got up late one night near christmas to go to the toilet and found my dad putting toys in the attic i realised pretty quick what was going on just walked by and pretend i didnt take it in.
    When i was about 12 (in sixth class) my parents must of realised i wasnt going to say anything but probably knew i knew so instead of saying anything they left a note with my presents on christmas morning saying that it was my last year now that there are younger kids that need the presents etc etc.
    My sister was more raging than i was as it meant she wasnt getting any of the big present anymore either.


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    #67
    bennyc
    Registered Users Posts: 1,907 ✭✭✭bennyc


    planetX wrote: »
    I've started to worry about this - I have an 11 yr old who firmly believes, and I think he's going to be quite devastated when he finds out. I've been waiting all year for the topic to come up, it hasn't. I always assumed he would eventually ask me directly and I'd tell him, but that isn't happening. I can't find a way to tell him that feels natural and not clumsy, and now we're getting closer to Christmas and I don't want to ruin it:( It's become a real worry, he recently listed Santa as one of his favourite people in a school assignment.

    I am in the same boat , 11yo and he has no reason to question it. Now from experience as kids these days already do have everything they need they actually dont talk about it much anyway. Any time I ever asked either of my sons what their mates were getting they didnt know as they never asked. My eldest is 15 now and we told him going into sixth class he ws turning 12. He had no idea what so ever and yes was a bit devistated. But for now the 11yo will be told nothing and fingures crossed will get another year out of it.


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    #68
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    bennyc wrote: »
    I am in the same boat , 11yo and he has no reason to question it. Now from experience as kids these days already do have everything they need they actually dont talk about it much anyway. Any time I ever asked either of my sons what their mates were getting they didnt know as they never asked. My eldest is 15 now and we told him going into sixth class he ws turning 12. He had no idea what so ever and yes was a bit devistated. But for now the 11yo will be told nothing and fingures crossed will get another year out of it.

    Sorry to break it to you, but the 11 year old is just 'pretending'...IMHO. There is no way that an 11 year old would still believe. It would have been mentioned many many times by school mates, and if he has internet access then it's likely he's seen various sites/posts about the topic to.


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    #69
    CookieMonster.x
    Registered Users Posts: 1,049 ✭✭✭CookieMonster.x


    CrazyRabbit wrote: »

    Sorry to break it to you, but the 11 year old is just 'pretending'...IMHO. There is no way that an 11 year old would still believe. It would have been mentioned many many times by school mates, and if he has internet access then it's likely he's seen various sites/posts about the topic to.
    I believed up until 6th class. Even in school people would say that their parents told them but I just ignored them. Then an older friend told me. Plus some of my friends' siblings are around eleven and they still believe.


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    #70
    planetX
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,441 ✭✭✭planetX


    CrazyRabbit wrote: »
    Sorry to break it to you, but the 11 year old is just 'pretending'...IMHO. There is no way that an 11 year old would still believe. It would have been mentioned many many times by school mates, and if he has internet access then it's likely he's seen various sites/posts about the topic to.

    100% that he isn't - someone did tell him at school, and he thinks he knows better, plus I think he was backed up by others.... I'd say the believers are still in the majority in his class. He doesn't google on the internet yet, only uses game websites.


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    #71
    Emeraldy Pebbles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 787 ✭✭✭Emeraldy Pebbles


    Ickle Magoo wrote: »
    Some kids are very suspicious/questioning/rational by nature tho so insisting there is these make-believe characters wouldn't be letting them be them either. I have a wee man who has never believed in Santa and who even as a toddler looked at us like we had three heads when we tried to describe Santa/tooth fairies/easter bunnies, etc etc. His sister on the other hand would believe anything and her brother loves helping us set up all the make-believe for her and joining in on the whole theatre of it but he's never been fooled for a minute that it's real. I think it really depends on the child rather than being inherent.

    +1

    My mother says I always doubted and questioned it.

    When Christmas Eve came, I'd get caught up in the excitement and would "believe" in it for that night, but the doubt was always there, niggling.


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    #72
    TwoShedsJackson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,438 ✭✭✭TwoShedsJackson


    My niece is 11 and I think still believes, she is incredibly naive though. Just last year she was insisting her dad email the Easter Bunny to let him know they would be in Kilkenny on Easter Sunday, instead of Clare where they normally live, so she wouldn't miss out.

    My boss's 10 year old son got an extra year out of Santa last year, his Dad asked him what he wanted from Santa to be answered with: 'and what is Santa's budget this year then?'.


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    #73
    RoyalMarine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,824 ✭✭✭RoyalMarine


    So going on Ickle Magoo's suggestion I started asking him questions about what he wants, make a list etc etc. He seemed slightly distant about the idea of making a list, but after he started searching for stuff he wants he got well into it.

    He still believes. WOOHOO!!. so long as no one in his class spoils it on him we will get this christmas as a "santa christmas".

    Can't wait!


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    #74
    Squ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭Squ


    RoyalMarine wrote: »
    He still believes. WOOHOO!!. so long as no one in his class spoils it on him we will get this christmas as a "santa christmas".

    Can't wait!

    I'm sure there'll be a childless student along in a while to question your motives.
    But just enjoy Santa christmas while it lasts!!

    There'll be enough years with a quiet, tidy house with no little hand marks on the windows :)


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    #75
    13spanner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,006 ✭✭✭13spanner


    I believed he was 100% real til I was 11, the summer after 5th class my mam told me. I have a good imagination so it was easy fool me I guess :o

    All the same I never got a hard time in school, it just turned from ''what did you get from Santa'' to ''what did you get for Christmas?''


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    #76
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,050 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    I don't ever remember kids being 'mean' about Santa. The ones that didn't believe thought they were great because they knew a secret that others didn't.

    Personally, I don't think I'll tell my kids, I'll let them find out themselves. Whether that is figuring it out (like I did at about 7) or being told by their friends at 11 or whatever.

    I just don't see the reason to tell an 8 year old, just so they won't be laughed at in school. Kids are good at defense! If someone tells them something that they don't know, they are usually pretty good at pretending they've known that 'for ages'! And then coming home and sussing it out...


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