Annoying Co Worker

donalg1

I work in an office with 15 people or so, one woman sitting near me talks to herself all day, and by all day I mean 8 hours a day. Now its not very loud, barely audible but enough for me to hear a constant hum like a fly buzzing in my ear. I cant concentrate on my own work as this is all I hear now, it is driving me insane. I feel like I will have to say something to her and ask if she could stop this as it is affecting my work and my general happiness in work. I hate being in the office when she is here.

However, this woman is also very sensitive as in if anyone says boo to her she runs off crying, she is a very nice lady dont get me wrong but we have to tip toe around her at times. I dont want to say it to her and make her cry or anything like that as everyone in the office will think I am mean and horrible.

Has anyone had any experience with an issue such as this before or advice on how to approach it. I know I should just accept it and get over it but I cant now as it is doing my head in.

petersburg2002

Could you mention it to a manager first. It's just that she might turn around and accuse you of bullying if you said anything directly to her. You need to thread carefully.

donalg1

petersburg2002 wrote: »

Could you mention it to a manager first. It's just that she might turn around and accuse you of bullying if you said anything directly to her. You need to thread carefully.

I had thought of that but I would rather leave the manager out of it, I dont want to seem petty and dont want her to think I have been running around talking about her behind her back, I'd prefer to be up front with her and keep it between the two of us.

Although maybe I would be better talking to a manager and asking them to say something. Very confused.

petersburg2002

It's a tricky one. I had a relative who did the same thing. I mentioned it to her one day and she nearly bit my head off, saying I was crazy. Certainly wouldn't hurt to discuss it one or two of your colleagues who might also know her.

donalg1

petersburg2002 wrote: »

It's a tricky one. I had a relative who did the same thing. I mentioned it to her one day and she nearly bit my head off, saying I was crazy. Certainly wouldn't hurt to discuss it one or two of your colleagues who might also know her.

I might try that actually, she is very friendly with one of the girls in the office here and I would be pretty friendly with the same girl so could maybe ask her what she thinks about it.

Cheers.

DeltaWhite

petersburg2002 wrote: »

Could you mention it to a manager first. It's just that she might turn around and accuse you of bullying if you said anything directly to her. You need to thread carefully.

We had a woman in our job who was the exact same ha starting to wonder if it's same one but please do not go to manager! We did the same in here and she did not appreciate it! She was convinced we were all bullying her after the boss spoke to her. It actually made her really paranoid and she was even worse to deal with after the boss said it to her. She kept saying we all hated her and that she was being ganged up on! Big mistake to get the boss involved in our situation anyway!! Better off getting someone who she is close/friendly with!

the_syco

donalg1 wrote: »

I dont want to seem petty

Let the manager do it; they're paid to manage the team, and I'd wonder if the others tiptoe around her because they have been warned about bullying her.

The woman in DeltaWhite's post sounds like she would have accused anyone who spoke to her about it.

DeltaWhite

the_syco wrote: »

Let the manager do it; they're paid to manage the team, and I'd wonder if the others tiptoe around her because they have been warned about bullying her.

The woman in DeltaWhite's post sounds like she would have accused anyone who spoke to her about it.

Yep... she was an oul b*tch she's gone now though woohoo

donalg1

the_syco wrote: »

Let the manager do it; they're paid to manage the team, and I'd wonder if the others tiptoe around her because they have been warned about bullying her.

The woman in DeltaWhite's post sounds like she would have accused anyone who spoke to her about it.

I dont think its because the others have been warned about bullying her, they dont in any way bully her. She is just known to have cried a few times when someone pulls her up on something mainly when a manager does it, its off to the bathroom for a cry so thats why we have to tip toe around her when it comes to asking her to do stuff or not to in some cases.

I dont really want to involve the manager as they may see me as petty which wouldnt be good and I honestly dont want to upset her either as she is a genuinely nice person who to me just has an annoying habit.

Mrs OBumble

Can you just listen to music (personal headphones) or similar? Or is there something about the job which means you can't wear 'em?

TBH, if she has mental health problems, there's probably not a lot your manager can do. The company is required to make reasonable accommodations. And if this is the worst problem she's causing you're lucky.

Is there any way you can move to a different desk, or re-arrange the furniture, so you're further away?

bbam

Be very careful taking this on yourself to sort out...
If it goes wrong it could be seen as an attempt to bully this person...

The manager is paid to sort this stuff out, have a quiet word with the manager, explain the problems you are having, ask the manager if anyone else has mentioned it?
Maybe the office could be reorganised so you can't hear her...

tatli_lokma

yeah I think if someone mumbles to themselve all day long and cries without much provocation, by talking to her you might make things a whole heap worse. At least if the manager is the one to make things worse, they are paid to deal with that and you cannot be blamed on it directly.

How long has this been going on? Is it recent? If it is a new development then the manager needs to know about it as it could be a symptom of something else - this already highly strung or emotional individual may be experiencing further stress and it would not be a bad thing for the manager to know about it.

Surely other people in the office have also heard her? A tactful and quiet word with the manager making it clear that you don't want to upset her but the constant noise is affecting your work. Ask to move desk or rearrange furniture, or get partitions or whatever.

mtjm

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Can you just listen to music (personal headphones)

Not being smart but due to health and safety regulations you aren't really meant to use headphones (I know crazy but we had an audit a while back and was told this and it's a health and safety issue too)
but nothing is stopping having a mini radio on your desk and have it at a volume so you can hear music and not her


OP I would request to be moved to another desk, or as others said speak to your colleagues or even talk to HR for advice about it if it's really bothering you

donalg1

I cant be moved to another desk as there are no others in the office, its a pretty small space with none really available, as for partitions I asked before about some and was told no as they make the place look untidy. Also headphones are not an option as I would never be allowed use these.

She isnt talking to herself about actual things, say she is unlocking her PC she sits down and says "control alt delete, ok now my password and press enter" basically whatever she is doing she says it out loud. At the printer yesterday she was "ok there should be one page, oh no there is two that should be it, yeah thats it just the two" then back to her desk and the control alt delete speech again.

She reads every email she sends and receives out loud and every phone number she dials is also out loud basically everything she does she shares with the office.

I think I either have to get over it, or just mention it to her myself and hope she doesnt take it the wrong way, I dont think she will as she is soft soul as such so hopefully would understand, maybe!

stargazer 68

OP maybe she doesn't realise she is doing it - or at least all the time. Perhaps say 'sorry were you talking to me?' or something like that a few times!

leeomurchu

Just get over it. she obviously does it out of habit do you honestly think saying something to her is gonna go down well and you think it'll be even better if two of ye confront her. That won't get her thinkin that ye have all been talkin about her behind her back. :rolleyes:

Some people in offices are sensitive and some are assholes you go to work do your shift and go home. If you're that easily distracted maybe you boss should take issue with you.

Maybe get to now the girl a bit better and bring up in conversation about her talking out loud you're approaching this all wrong and creating an issue where there is none you don't mention anybody else in the office having a problem with this woman and mention that she's very nice. Maybe you're the problem so:eek:

donalg1

leeomurchu wrote: »

Just get over it. she obviously does it out of habit do you honestly think saying something to her is gonna go down well and you think it'll be even better if two of ye confront her. That won't get her thinkin that ye have all been talkin about her behind her back. :rolleyes:

Some people in offices are sensitive and some are assholes you go to work do your shift and go home. If you're that easily distracted maybe you boss should take issue with you.

Maybe get to now the girl a bit better and bring up in conversation about her talking out loud you're approaching this all wrong and creating an issue where there is none you don't mention anybody else in the office having a problem with this woman and mention that she's very nice. Maybe you're the problem so:eek:

There is clearly an issue there, imagine you are at your desk all day and I sit beside you and mumble for 8 hours in your ear, I wouldnt think it would be too long before you have a problem with this.

leeomurchu

donalg1 wrote: »

There is clearly an issue there, imagine you are at your desk all day and I sit beside you and mumble for 8 hours in your ear, I wouldnt think it would be too long before you have a problem with this.

Unfortunately there's not much you can do about an individual and there odditys your boss hired her for her skills. The fact you've taken issue with her would single you out in his eyes as not being able to blend with a team of co workers.

If you have an issue ask her does she realise she's doing it but don't expect her to be pleased. I'm sure you have annoying habits and for all you know moaning about this co worker could be annoying the hell out of your other co workers. I suspect that the only solution is for you to move on to another position if it's that annoying or else work harder so you don't have as much time to appreciate her ramblings.

donalg1

leeomurchu wrote: »

Unfortunately there's not much you can do about an individual and there odditys your boss hired her for her skills. The fact you've taken issue with her would single you out in his eyes as not being able to blend with a team of co workers.

If you have an issue ask her does she realise she's doing it but don't expect her to be pleased. I'm sure you have annoying habits and for all you know moaning about this co worker could be annoying the hell out of your other co workers. I suspect that the only solution is for you to move on to another position if it's that annoying or else work harder so you don't have as much time to appreciate her ramblings.

Very helpful, again you dont know if I have any annoying habits, not a co worker so you couldnt know this. You also dont know how hard I work. You do know that my work is being affected by another co worker of mine because I have told you this. I also dont moan to my co workers about this woman as this would not be fair to her.

Your solution is for me to move to another position well this is simply not possible, so you arent really helping at all, seems like an attempt to troll tbh.

LegacyUser

I think you should just say it to her.

I had to say something to a co-worker recently about a similar incessant mumbling. Before I experienced it, I would have just told you to get over it, but now, I know how seriously distracting, and not to mention, infuriating it can be.

I just said it to the person. I thought it was better to be direct and up front with them, rather than going behind the person's back to management or whatever. I had the feeling it was more respectful to say it directly.
To be fair, the person didn't take it as well as they could have at the time I said it, and we wouldn't be the friendliest towards each other anyway, but they stopped immediately and they haven't done it since, and at the end of the day, that's all that I cared about.

It's much quieter and a less infuriating environment to be in now, so in my experience, being direct is the way to go...

Equality

You may want to consider your relative positions before you take action.

If she has years of service, and you were hired recently, there is a very simple solution (you are let go if this becomes a problem in the office, which it most likely will if you mention it to anyone, particularly the lady herself).

If you mention this to management, there is a strong chance you will be told by management that it is not permitted for you to make personal comments about (or to) your colleagues, and that you are forbidden to raise the matter with the colleague.

The problem here is that she is probably not capable of changing her behaviour. I realise it is causing trouble for you, but I don't think she is likely to change, this verbalisation seems to be as unconscious as breathing. Management will understand that she is unlikely to change her behaviour, they then have the option of moving you to another location (not possible, according to you), or asking another colleague to swop desks with you. No colleague will want to do this.

In offices it is common practice for the new hire to get the faulty chair, sitting at the desk which is right beside the most difficult person in the room, being managed by the manager who is known to be a bully.

I know people who have gone to senior management and said 'Move me away from manager x because she is a bully' and the next new hire is assigned to manager x, beacaue manager x is required to manage someone, and the temp staff are not in a position to complain. They know that they won't be hired again if they complain.

Equally, people go to management and say 'I don't want to sit beside Y because....' and the next new member of staff is put beside Y. Again, they can't easily complain because they have few rights.

If you want to stay in the job, you have to put up with this until someone else in the office goes on maternity leave or resigns/retires/is transferred. Then you go to the manager and ask to be moved to the vacant desk. In the meantime, see if you can get a transfer yourself.

turbobaby

This particular issue highlights what is wrong with this overly politically correct world these days. The OP should not have to tip toe around the co worker like this. Asking her to stop talking to herself is considered bullying now?

I am not suggesting the advice here is bad, I am just saying it's pathetic that a woman who is seriously affecting the OP's (and probably others) work gets to continue as she is, for fear of the OP getting in trouble.

Bizzare!

I feel for you. A person clearing their throat in my last job every 2 minutes or so used to really do my head in. I just wanted to shout "Just spit it out Siobhan*"!

*Name changed for fear of reprisals.

Procrastastudy

Most employment hand books would advise you to deal informally with the person concerned yourself in the first instance. Do you know if you have a policy on the matter OP?

People generally have no control over talking to themselves though. That said they may not be aware of it. Many years ago I knew a woman who did it, a few years later it turned out to be a symptom of something much more serious.

Its all in how you broach it OP just tread carefully.