50 shades of grey. No shame!

smash

flutterflye wrote: »

You do in your ar$e!
Men have CRAP peripheral vision.
That's why they THINK they're getting away with checking out women, but women always know - ALWAYS!

Well as long as you don't point it out and start an argument then it's all good.

smash

otto_26 wrote: »

As a parent you should have the tact to know which one your child would consider to be porn.

Do you know what tact means?

tact - noun
1. a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.
2. a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing; taste; discrimination.
3. touch or the sense of touch.

Now... how would she "have the tact to know"?

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

So you're taking offence on behalf of a 15 year-old girl, despite not having the first clue whether she considers it to be offensive, whether she has the slightest idea what it contains or whether even if she did know would she give a flying f**k? That about sum it up?

No I'm not taking offence at all. I found the whole thing funny and a bit cringe if I'm honest.

In my opinion the mother should have had a bit more tact than to read erotic porn in front of her child. But everyone to their own

TwoShedsJackson

flutterflye wrote: »

You do in your ar$e!
Men have CRAP peripheral vision.
That's why they THINK they're getting away with checking out women, but women always know - ALWAYS!

I was reading Ye Olde Conventional Book so was able to have a look at her screen each time I was on the lefthand page. Only way she could have known was if I'd started laughing which was a distinct possibility.

28064212

otto_26 wrote: »

No I'm not taking offence at all. I found the whole thing funny and a bit cringe if I'm honest.

In my opinion the mother should have had a bit more tact than to read erotic porn in front of her child. But everyone to their own

Ah so we're back to objective statements. FSoG is (apparently) "erotic porn". Which of these fall into the "erotic porn" category: Joyce's Ulysses; a Jackie Collins book; a Mills and Boon; J.K. Rowling's latest book?

otto_26

smash wrote: »

Do you know what tact means?

tact - noun
1. a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.
2. a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing; taste; discrimination.
3. touch or the sense of touch.

Now... how would she "have the tact to know"?

Depends on the person doesn't it. That's why I started the thread!
:rolleyes:

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

Ah so we're back to objective statements. FSoG is (apparently) "erotic porn". Which of these fall into the "erotic porn" category: Joyce's Ulysses; a Jackie Collins book; a Mills and Boon; J.K. Rowling's latest book?

It's not about a women reading it, or the contents of what she is reading it's about her reading it in front of her child who knows what her mother is reading, showing a bit of tact!!

I brought playboy into it because I wouldn't just sit in a public place reading playboy in front of children not because of the contents of playboy (because I'm the only one looking inside it) but because everyone knows what I'm reading.

Like her child and everyone else knows what she's reading. Nothing wrong with it she is allowed to do what she wants in public and in front of her child, just saying personally id have a bit more tact in public and in front of my children.

smash

otto_26 wrote: »

Depends on the person doesn't it. That's why I started the thread!
:rolleyes:

Well you said "As a parent you should have the tact to know which one your child would consider to be porn."

Which translates to one of these:

As a parent you should have the keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense to know which one your child would consider to be porn.

As a parent you should have the keen sense of what is appropriate to know which one your child would consider to be porn.

As a parent you should have the sense of touch to know which one your child would consider to be porn.

And none of those statements really make sense to me.

otto_26

smash wrote: »

Well you said "As a parent you should have the tact to know which one your child would consider to be porn."

Which translates to one of these:

As a parent you should have the keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense to know which one your child would consider to be porn.

As a parent you should have the keen sense of what is appropriate to know which one your child would consider to be porn.

As a parent you should have the sense of touch to know which one your child would consider to be porn.

And none of those statements really make sense to me.

Aren't you struggling! here let me give you a hand!

As a parent you should have a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful around your children.

Like having a bit of tact!

flutterflye

smash wrote: »

Well as long as you don't point it out and start an argument then it's all good.

Huh?! Why would I start an argument?

28064212

otto_26 wrote: »

It's not about a women reading it, or the contents of what she is reading it's about her reading it in front of her child who knows what her mother is reading, showing a bit of tact!!

I brought playboy into it because I wouldn't just sit in a public place reading playboy in front of children not because of the contents of playboy (because I'm the only one looking inside it) but because everyone knows what I'm reading.

Like her child and everyone else knows what she's reading. Nothing wrong with it she is allowed to do what she wants in public and in front of her child, just saying personally id have a bit more tact in public and in front of my children.

Is this really all you're able to do? Repost stuff you've already posted despite the fact it doesn't answer any of the questions?

It's very simple. Either:

• you are making an objective determination that FSoG is porn and shouldn't be read, in which case please supply a list of other "porn" novels that aren't ok or
• it's up to the parents to make a subjective determination of what their child is comfortable with, in which case this parent made their decision, so it's not the slightest little bit of your business

smash

otto_26 wrote: »

Aren't you struggling! here let me give you a hand!

As a parent you should have a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful around your children.

Like having a bit of tact!

But you said "the tact to know which one your child would consider to be porn."

You've used tact so much in this tread you're just throwing it in every sentence. Even where it doesn't belong.

smash

flutterflye wrote: »

Huh?! Why would I start an argument?

I dunno, most women have a problem if I'm checking out someone else while talking to them

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

Is this really all you're able to do? Repost stuff you've already posted despite the fact it doesn't answer any of the questions?

It's very simple. Either:

• you are making an objective determination that FSoG is porn and shouldn't be read, in which case please supply a list of other "porn" novels that aren't ok or
• it's up to the parents to make a subjective determination of what their child is comfortable with, in which case this parent made their decision, so it's not the slightest little bit of your business

I'm sorry but you seem to be making up my points for me!!

My point is it does not matter the contents of the mag or book!! whether described as porn or erotic is really doesn't come into it when we are discussing a 15year old child! Playboy is described as a men's mag that make it ok then to read in front of 15 year olds or even in public!!!!:rolleyes:

Well I mean I could I'm entitled to if I want but I wouldn't because I have a bit of tact!

I never said it was any of my business :rolleyes: I noticed something in a public place and am discussing it on boards.

And your correct it is up to the parent they are entitled to do what they want in public and with their children. I just gave my opinion that I would have a bit of tact about it that's all.

28064212

otto_26 wrote: »

My point is it does not matter the contents of the mag or book!

Well then what the hell does matter?

otto_26

smash wrote: »

But you said "the tact to know which one your child would consider to be porn."

You've used tact so much in this tread you're just throwing it in every sentence. Even where it doesn't belong.

Yes having the tact to know when something is appropriate or tasteful around your children. What's the problem?

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

Well then what the hell does matter?

It's about her reading it in front of her child who knows what her mother is reading, showing a bit of tact!!

I brought playboy into it because I wouldn't just sit in a public place reading playboy in front of children not because of the contents of playboy (because I'm the only one looking inside it) but because everyone knows what I'm reading.

In my opinion it's not appropriate or tasteful around children but that's my opinion everyone to their own.

You asked me "Well then what the hell does matter"? come on I've had to copy and paste that above.. can you please read my posts so I don't have to keep going around in circles with you.

28064212

You said "the content doesn't matter"! So what makes FSoG unsuitable to read in front of a 15 year old if it's not the content?

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

You said "the content doesn't matter"! So what makes FSoG unsuitable to read in front of a 15 year old if it's not the content?

It's about her reading it in front of her child who knows what her mother is reading, showing a bit of tact!!

I brought playboy into it because I wouldn't just sit in a public place reading playboy in front of children not because of the contents of playboy (because I'm the only one looking inside it) but because everyone knows what I'm reading.

smash

otto_26 wrote: »

Yes having the tact to know when something is appropriate or tasteful around your children. What's the problem?

That's not what you said.

otto_26

smash wrote: »

That's not what you said.

Come on will ya! do ya have to drag this on, your only embarrassing yourself just let it go!!!

smash

otto_26 wrote: »

Come on will ya! do ya have to drag this on, your only embarrassing yourself just let it go!!!

No, it's fun!

otto_26

smash wrote: »

No, it's fun!

Ya it is actually!

28064212

otto_26 wrote: »

It's about her reading it in front of her child who knows what her mother is reading, showing a bit of tact!!]

So if her mother was reading Harry Potter, that wouldn't be ok either?

Gee_G

The word "tact" is being thrown around an awful lot here!
Look, guarantee the daughter had read them on her kindle or iphone long before her mother did!

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

So if her mother was reading Harry Potter, that wouldn't be ok either?

No that would be appropriate and tasteful in front of a child that is aware of the book and it's contents.

28064212

otto_26 wrote: »

No that would be appropriate and tasteful in front of a child that is aware of the book and it's contents.

So because of their contents FSoG is not appropriate and tasteful, and Harry Potter is. So, due to their contents, which of these are appropriate and tasteful in front of a child: Joyce's Ulysses; a Jackie Collins book; a Mills and Boon book; J.K. Rowling's latest book?

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

So because of their contents FSoG is not appropriate and tasteful, and Harry Potter is. So, due to their contents, which of these are appropriate and tasteful in front of a child: Joyce's Ulysses; a Jackie Collins book; a Mills and Boon book; J.K. Rowling's latest book?

It's about her reading it in front of her child who knows what her mother is reading, showing a bit of tact!!

I brought playboy into it because I wouldn't just sit in a public place reading playboy in front of children not because of the contents of playboy (because I'm the only one looking inside it) but because everyone knows what I'm reading.

28064212

otto_26 wrote: »

It's about her reading it in front of her child who knows what her mother is reading, showing a bit of tact!!

That statement is true of Harry Potter

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

That statement is true of Harry Potter

what about playboy?

flutterflye

smash wrote: »

I dunno, most women have a problem if I'm checking out someone else while talking to them

Ah no, I find it funny tbh!
It's just so obvious and he thinks he's being all subtle!
Sometimes I'd ignore it, sometimes I'd pull him on it - but in a jokey way.
Might be a different matter in the hormonal days approaching time of the month though!

28064212

otto_26 wrote: »

what about playboy?

That statement is true of any book or magazine which the child is aware of. What's your point?

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

That statement is true of any book or magazine which the child is aware of. What's your point?

It's about her reading it in front of her child who knows that her mother is reading porn, showing a bit of tact!!

I brought playboy into it because I wouldn't just sit in a public place reading playboy in front of children not because of the contents of playboy (because I'm the only one looking inside it) but because everyone knows what I'm reading.

In my opinion it's not appropriate or tasteful around children but that's my opinion everyone to their own.

28064212

*Sigh* So FSoG is not appropriate to read around children, but Harry Potter is, but you won't elaborate on any other books, or explain what is about FSoG that makes it not appropriate to read around children?

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

*Sigh* So FSoG is not appropriate to read around children, but Harry Potter is, but you won't elaborate on any other books, or explain what is about FSoG that makes it not appropriate to read around children?

*Sigh* your so boring.

Because it's a pornographic novel or erotic as you like to call, that has been spoken about at large by adults, young adults, and teenagers on social networking sites. The child knows that her mother is reading I find that tasteless and inappropriate for a parent to do in front of their child. But everyone has the right to their own ways of doing things with their children, that's why.

Real Life

today for the first time i met a girl that hates the 50 shades books and not because its too filthy but because she thinks its really badly written and a terrible story. felt good.

cb123

Real Life wrote: »

today for the first time i met a girl that hates the 50 shades books and not because its too filthy but because she thinks its really badly written and a terrible story. felt good.

I got two chapters in, and then this...

'An involuntary shiver runs down my spine.'

What the F***! Firstly we started the book with a description of the girls hair, and I read a whole chapter on how her friend is sick and how she is so beautiful but a b**** for putting her in a inconvenient situation, *deep breath* then the author decides to write the above line, never in my life have I scheduled a shiver, or thought to myself 'Hmm I'm cold, maybe I should shiver'. I feel insulted that someone would feel the need to explain a shiver to me.

The book is badly written, overly descriptive and leaves nothing to the reader's imagination but I would expect nothing less from fan fiction of the popular Twilight series. The author got lucky, and found a niche in the market. This book is a soap opera of the print world and nothing more.

Greentopia

otto_26 wrote: »

*Sigh* your so boring.

Because it's a pornographic novel or erotic as you like to call, that has been spoken about at large by adults, young adults, and teenagers on social networking sites. The child knows that her mother is reading I find that tasteless and inappropriate for a parent to do in front of their child. But everyone has the right to their own ways of doing things with their children, that's why.

If you really feel everyone has the right to "their own way of doing things with their children" why do you feel the need to start a thread here letting people know (repeatedly for 13 pages!) that you think she's tactless, tasteless and inappropriate for reading the damn book in front of her? what are you hoping the responses to that will be here? Affirmation or validation of your opinion? because you're coming across as rather self-righteous and priggish in your disapproval if you don't mind me saying.

I agree it wouldn't be appropriate to read porn in front of her but a work of erotic fiction with an innocuous cover is far from that.

28064212

otto_26 wrote: »

Because it's a pornographic novel or erotic as you like to call

I haven't called it anything. You have. Which of these are "pornographic novels": Joyce's Ulysses; a Jackie Collins book; a Mills and Boon book; J.K. Rowling's latest book?

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

I haven't called it anything. You have. Which of these are "pornographic novels": Joyce's Ulysses; a Jackie Collins book; a Mills and Boon book; J.K. Rowling's latest book?

It's about her reading it in front of her child who knows that her mother is reading porn, showing a bit of tact!!

I brought playboy into it because I wouldn't just sit in a public place reading playboy in front of children not because of the contents of playboy (because I'm the only one looking inside it) but because everyone knows what I'm reading.

In my opinion it's not appropriate or tasteful around children but that's my opinion everyone to their own.

otto_26

Greentopia wrote: »

If you really feel everyone has the right to "their own way of doing things with their children" why do you feel the need to start a thread here letting people know (repeatedly for 13 pages!) that you think she's tactless, tasteless and inappropriate for reading the damn book in front of her?

Because it's a discussion website :rolleyes:

Greentopia wrote: »

what are you hoping the responses to that will be here? Affirmation or validation of your opinion? because you're coming across as rather self-righteous and priggish in your disapproval if you don't mind me saying.

I'm not hoping anything I'm interested in what other people have to say about it and like discussing it.

I do mind you're coming across as rather self-righteous and priggish (if you don't mind me saying) in your disapproval of me discussing the topic with others, am I not entitled to?

Greentopia wrote: »

I agree it wouldn't be appropriate to read porn in front of her but a work of erotic fiction with an innocuous cover is far from that.

The fact it's a innocuous cover doesn't really come into it if the child knows what it is, that's what's tasteless about it. If I'm reading a playboy with a special edition innocuous cover does that make it tasteless or inappropriate if the child still knows I'm reading playboy?

Greentopia

otto_26 wrote: »

Because it's a discussion website :rolleyes:

What is it you want to discuss? it seems you only want to tell us repeatedly in almost every post how tactless you feel that woman was. If you were looking to get people on side, going by the responses here I'd say you've rather failed miserably.

otto_26 wrote: »

I'm not hoping anything I'm interested in what other people have to say about it and like discussing it.

You got replies but what you said in response could've been said in 2 or 3 posts instead of continually repeating yourself for 13 pages in tautological circles.

otto_26 wrote: »

I do mind you're coming across as rather self-righteous and priggish (if you don't mind me saying) in your disapproval of me discussing the topic with others, am I not entitled to?

I don't think those words mean what you think they mean :pac:, so parroting them back to me makes no sense.

"Entitled"...no-one's saying you're not entitled to discuss whatever you want-except the mods of course!, so that's a straw man -it's self-evident as a member you are, so no need to bleat about your entitlements. That's not the point of what I wrote.

otto_26 wrote: »

The fact it's a innocuous cover doesn't really come into it if the child knows what it is, that's what's tasteless about it. If I'm reading a playboy with a special edition innocuous cover does that make it tasteless or inappropriate if the child still knows I'm reading playboy?

If the child knows what it is what moral or psychological harm is it doing to the child? how do you know the parent hasn't borrowed it from the 15yr old? why should the parent have to be in alignment with your particular sense of morality or "tactfulness" as you put it? and if you don't think she should then why worry about it? Taste is a very subjective thing.

Porn is not the same thing as erotic fiction. Not the same thing at all. You keep making that point about playboy (even though it's been explained to you already what the difference is between the two, but you don't seem to be able to tell the difference, or else you're being obtuse).

I could be reading Anais Nin-one of my favourite erotic literature writers- on the bus in front lots of kids and none of them would be any the wiser as to what it was. Just because they may be more aware of 50 shades if I was to read that instead does not change how "appropriate" or "tactful" it is as it doesn't have the same implications as if I was openly reading Playboy.

You seem to be hanging your whole argument on that one word-tactful.
Ok so you still find it tactless, regardless of any counter arguments made here, fine.
It's simply a matter of perception, as others have pointed out- if you never heard of the book you would not be aware of what it is and would not think that parent had anything to be shameful for.

Perhaps it might be better if you spend less time worrying about the moral implications of a badly written piece of fiction on the mind of a 15 yr old who's probably acting out some of the scenarios she's already read about in the book with her boyfriend after school!

smash

Real Life wrote: »

today for the first time i met a girl that hates the 50 shades books and not because its too filthy but because she thinks its really badly written and a terrible story. felt good.

Going by all the threads on boards about the book, most women thought it was shít.

28064212

otto_26 wrote: »

In my opinion it's not appropriate or tasteful around children but that's my opinion everyone to their own.

"In your opinion", which of these books are appropriate and tasteful around children: Joyce's Ulysses; a Jackie Collins book; a Mills and Boon book; J.K. Rowling's latest book?

otto_26

Greentopia wrote: »

What is it you want to discuss? it seems you only want to tell us repeatedly in almost every post how tactless you feel that woman was. If you were looking to get people on side, going by the responses here I'd say you've rather failed miserably.

What I explained in the thread. People keep giving me the same questions and responses so during the thread you will find my answers repeated. I'm not looking to get people on side at all I'm only looking to discuss it. I think I have been a great success on this thread but thanks for your opinion.

Greentopia wrote: »

You got replies but what you said in response could've been said in 2 or 3 posts instead of continually repeating yourself for 13 pages in tautological circles.

wow repeating myself again!! People repeated questions and gave same responses as past posters you will find a lot of my responses are similar.

Greentopia wrote: »

I don't think those words mean what you think they mean :pac:, so parroting them back to me makes no sense.

Oh ok would be delighted if you could enlighten me on how it makes no sense?

Greentopia wrote: »

The child knows what it is what moral or psychological harm is it doing to the child? how do you know the parent hasn't borrowed it from the 15yr old? why should the parent have to be in alignment with your particular sense of morality or "tactfulness" as you put it? and if you don't think she should then why worry about it? Taste is a very subjective thing.

They don't I simply gave my opinion on how I felt it was inappropriate and tasteless.

Greentopia wrote: »

Porn is not the same thing as erotic fiction. Not the same thing at all. You keep making that point about playboy (even though it's been explained to you already what the difference is between the two, but you don't seem to be able to tell the difference, or else you're being obtuse).

No the difference has not been explained. Firstly playboy is not classed as porn it's classed as a men's magazine!! So why shouldn't I read it in front of children? well my own reason would be because the child will know what i'm reading and I have some tact!

Greentopia wrote: »

I could be reading Anais Nin-one of my favourite erotic literature writers- on the bus in front lots of kids and none of them would be any the wiser as to what it was. Just because they may be more aware of 50 shades if I was to read that instead does not change how "appropriate" or "tactful" it is as it doesn't have the same implications as if I was openly reading Playboy.

What implications the child isn't going to see what i'm reading? just because they know I'm reading a playboy, what moral or psychological harm is it doing to the child?

Greentopia wrote: »

You seem to be hanging your whole argument on that one word-tactful.
Ok so you still find it tactless, regardless of any counter arguments made here, fine.
It's simply a matter of perception, as others have pointed out- if you never heard of the book you would not be aware of what it is and would not think that parent had anything to be shameful for.

Exactly that's why I spoke about playboy because like 15 year olds will be aware of playboy and what it is, they are also aware of 50 shades of grey and what it is.

Greentopia wrote: »

Perhaps it might be better if you spend less time worrying about the moral implications of a badly written piece of fiction on the mind of a 15 yr old who's probably acting out some of the scenarios she's already read about in the book with her boyfriend after school!

Well if a 15 year old child is acting out scenarios she read in that book you can only blame the tactless parents! I wonder will they let her see the movie I mean it is the 21st century maybe parents should start swapping porn with their 15 year old children.

otto_26

28064212 wrote: »

"In your opinion", which of these books are appropriate and tasteful around children: Joyce's Ulysses; a Jackie Collins book; a Mills and Boon book; J.K. Rowling's latest book?

Id have to find out if my child knows anything about the book I'm planning on reading, but to be honest I would just keep erotic novels in the bedroom so wouldn't need to find out which are appropriate and tasteful.

Like I said playboy is not porn it's a men's magazine but unfortunately a 15 year old is going to know what I'm reading, when it's a popular magazine like that, so then I just come to the opinion that it would be tasteless and inappropriate of me to read it in front of my child when the child will know what I'm reading better to show some tact.

Like the erotic novels and playboy I'd keep them for the bedroom. But that's just my opinion some parents might come to the conclusion the child might never have heard of the erotic novel they are reading and feel they can get away with it. But unfortunately for Playboy and 50 shades of grey they are to well know around social media bringing them to the attention of children.

bnt

There's a program about these books on TV (More4) at the moment. It's the first I've heard about them. I didn't know they had their origins on an Internet forum as Twilight fan fiction. If author Kathy Lette's description is any guide, then it's not really for men: "Mills & Boon with Butt-Plugs" ... :eek:

Red Hand

Was at the airport a few months ago and there were a couple with a toddler. A book fell out of a father's jacket pocket. It was 50 Srhades and the toddler started playing with it.

There you go. A pointless anecdote. Deal with it.:P