How do I support my wife to stop smoking?

blackspud

Hi, my wife has stopped smoking for almost two weeks now. To say she's been irritable is an understatement. I'm in the awkward predicament where I have never smoked and I'm trying my best to support her stopping. I know people talk about this "Nicotine Monster", but Jesus Christ. My wife has subjected me to verbal abuse like I've never seen before. Usually in front of our young children.Shes ranted about most areas of my character, my family, my friends, just about every action I take, including how I'm trying to support her. I want to try and help her and I've gotten up extra early or stayed up late to complete chores, but it seems that no matter what type of encouragement I offer up I'm being ridiculed and I've run out of ideas for support. Can anyone help me?

billybudd

If she is not like this normally i would be lenient towards her without being a pushover, sit her down when the kids are asleep and tell her that you will support her quest to become smoke free but it wont be at a price that you pay for her being mentally abusive and undermining you in front of your kids, tell her if she feels that hostility rising again she is to either leave the house and go for a walk or go to an empty room untill it passes.

Its great she is giving up smoking but it still gives her no right to treat you like that, explain this firmly and in a calm matter.

Smoking is a horrible thing to stop doing and it does bring out the worse in people but there is and should be limits.

Best of luck.

misslt

billybudd wrote: »

If she is not like this normally i would be lenient towards her without being a pushover, sit her down when the kids are asleep and tell her that you will support her quest to become smoke free but it wont be at a price that you pay for her being mentally abusive and undermining you in front of your kids, tell her if she feels that hostility rising again she is to either leave the house and go for a walk or go to an empty room untill it passes.

Its great she is giving up smoking but it still gives her no right to treat you like that, explain this firmly and in a calm matter.

Smoking is a horrible thing to stop doing and it does bring out the worse in people but there is and should be limits.

Best of luck.

Is she going cold turkey or using an aid? If she's going cold turkey perhaps suggest using an aid - nicotine withdrawal is really a horrible thing, I felt physically ill on a few occasions (and I was using patches!)

On the other hand, if she's gone a fortnight cold turkey then things are only going to get easier as she goes longer without them!

I agree with the above, sit her down and tell her how you feel, all the while making it clear that you are supporting her.

Hope it goes okay

dee44

misslt wrote: »

Is she going cold turkey or using an aid? If she's going cold turkey perhaps suggest using an aid - nicotine withdrawal is really a horrible thing, I felt physically ill on a few occasions (and I was using patches!)

On the other hand, if she's gone a fortnight cold turkey then things are only going to get easier as she goes longer without them!

I agree with the above, sit her down and tell her how you feel, all the while making it clear that you are supporting her.

Hope it goes okay

If she has gone cold turkey for two weeks definitely dont RE-introduce nicotine(which is what the patches are essentially!) My partner and i both quit smoking(we would have smoked the same amount each day) he used patches, i went cold turkey, he was physically sick as was another guy i worked with who used patches whereas i didnt feel sick at all!

It is very hard to begin with, its still hard for me now but what does help me is seeing the amount of extra money that i have from not smoking! sometimes its worth treating yourself with the money you would have used on cigarettes as it will put the thought in your head to say oh i wouldnt have afforded this if i was still smoking! Good luck with it - I know what its like!