My rescue cat is afraid of me

Phazedup

Hi folks,

Firstly mods if I should have merged this with another thread apologies, feel free to do so.

OK a little background, on Tuesday I got two cats, neutered female rescues aged 5 months, they are litter-mates, two from a litter of four. I have called the mostly black one Cindy and the mostly white one Chiana. Cindy is quite playful, allows me to stroke and pet her if i don't approach too quickly and today finally after much persuading came and sat in my lap. Chiana is totally the opposite, won't come near me. I admit i made a mistake on Tuesday, when she was on the window sill of the utility room i approached her with a treat, she was head down, ears flat and back arched with tail down, she totally panicked, tried to paw her way through the glass and then ran in to the kitchen, she either hides behind the soft couch in the kitchen or under the air hockey/pool table combo.

Just now I went in to the hall and they were both sitting on the backs of two arm chairs I have stuffed under the stairs, I Said hi, how are you doing in a soft voice and she saw me looking at her, panicked and dived behind the arm chair.

I haven't had pets before in my own right, grew up with a cat but I was a kid and not responsible for it. I'm afraid she's not eating right and have gotten in to the habit of puting food down near where she hides and then leaving the room so she will come out and eat..

The rescue centre says they will take them back if we truly don't get on but my only concern is for the welfare of the kittens, I Adore Cindy and I can see us being happy together but I don't want to separate them, i want to welcome Chiana in to my home and my family but the poor wee thing is terrified of everything, i sometimes hear mournful meowing coming from wherever she is hiding but she won't let me approach or comfort her.

They are indoor cats who have never been outside and I've been told not to let them out. They were rescued at about 3 weeks old after being found abandoned and were looked after by a french lady here in town, kept in a large garage which had no windows, litter trained (both cats do seem to be using the litter tray) and as I've said, neutered.

Any advice you can give, even if it's just wait is appreciated, i don't want it to get to a stage that she becomes ill because she's not eating right and I'd rather know if I should give them up for her sake, I don't want to separate the sisters either.

Please help.

Alan

Supergurrier

Im sure the cat will come around, you seem to be doing everything right.

It just probably had a rough time at some stage but you are providing food/shelter and a safe enviorment so i can't see the cat not eventually coming around, just be casual and don't force it.

username123

From the cats perspective, from a noisy rescue to a strange home with a strange person.

New animals take time to settle. But its worth it in the end. A friend of mine got a rescue cat who hid under the furniture for 2 months!!

My advice would be to ignore the cat for now - provide food and shelter but dont try to be friends or play or touch at all. Just let her come to terms with her new environment. Its only been a few days.

Scruffles

although for us cat lovers it requires rewiring the way we think,acording to top cat behavioral specialists like the awesome vicky halls, the best way to bring on shy/skitty/untrusting etc cats is to not actualy speak to them nor approach them.

forced interaction is the worst thing for that type of cat,its why in a room of people,a lot of cats go to the cat hater and not the fancier because the hater isnt unknowingly giving them full on eye contact and verbal attention.

stay in the area doing normal house things but ignore the cat unless they approach for attention/interaction/food etc.
this takes the stress off the cat and will usualy find it helps them to build a bond quicker.

dont worry it will come,it just takes time with shyer/untrusting cats.

it has helped many of our farm cats as well as the family cats,including turning a fully ferral cat into a attention seeking lapcat,a weak litter runt kitten with severe shyness,anxiety and ocd become a interactive,very sociable young lady instead of running for cover and tearing her fur out and it has helped her mother;sandy get used to us better [she has very severe feline hyperethesia syndrome caused by long term physical abuse and neglect by her last owner].

Ever2010

We got our two youngest cats this time last year, the male was very friendly but our female was a different story - she was terrified of us! She used to hide under the couch when we were in the room. We were patient with her and let her hide when she wanted. I often sat in the room and read, totally ignoring her - she'd some out to sniff me then run back to hide.

It really took her about 6 weeks to be fully comfortable around us and sit on our knees - it took her ages to enjoy being picked up. Now she's the most affectionate little thing, and she follows us everywhere.

Just be patient with her and she will come around - having her sister there will help a lot too.

Valentina

In my experience of owning cats, ignore them and they will come to you, fuss over them and they will walk away!

It's only been a few days, give her a chance to settle in. As mean as it sounds, ignore her!

If she's hungry she'll eat but if you're really worried she's not eating enough consult the rescue or your vet.

I'm sure she will settle in, she's probably been through a lot in her short little life and this is another disruption of sorts for her. Being with her sister will help her though, she will come around

orchidsrpretty

Op, I got a rescue cat last November and he was exactly the same. He was in the centre for nearly 7 months, so I knew it would take time. For the first two days he hid under the kitchen table. It was really hard for me not to grab him and give him a cuddle. He was so scared. After a week or so he came out of the kitchen but was still so nervous, any noise etc would send him running. Dont exactly know when he settled in proper but he is a very different cat to the one I took home. He is no where near as affectionate as my other cats, but he gives me joy knowing that I am giving him a good home and I do get some sneaky pets and cuddles in when he is very tired:)

in short please son't give up on the kitty, she will settle in, maybe she won't be the cuddle monster you want, but as loing as you care for her, she will be happy:)

Phazedup

she's in the room now, is looking nervously about but is only three feet from me and seems tentatively approaching, apologies for panic but they've clasped my heart in their furry little paws and won't let it go

thanks for the advice folks. I am hopeful.

Alan

Stheno

Yup just ignore her and she'll come round, just takes time

Hard to do as you want to cuddle etc, but you'd be amazed what a bit of time and patience will do

Qualitymark

When I've had traumatised cats I've first put them in a room all by themselves for about a week; every night I've gone in, put on a radio and sat there reading, totally ignoring the cat.

Gradually they get used to me and start approaching me; I still ignore them.

(In one case the cat, who knew me but was completely traumatised, used to run up, rub her face against me and purr frantically - then scratch and bite and run away.)

Eventually the cat gets used to me and knows I'm not a threat, and in the end comes over as soon as I come in and sits on the lap; after a while even some gentle stroking works.

Then I open the door a crack, let the cat explore the house, but still with its own room to retreat to.

It takes time and gentle love, but it works.

angeline

I had this problem when I took in two sisters. One was very forthcoming, the other hid away. I gave her space initially, then I slowly started spending more time with her, lifting her in my arms and in the end she almost became more friendlier and affectionate than her sister. Just be patient and talk to her lowly. She will defo come around.

Phazedup

thouht I would update ye, scardey kitty is currently sitting in my lap, purring, non scardey kitty is very put otu and todya tried to join me in my lap when other kitty was stil there, no roof so she got all huffy and sat on a cushion.

I have not enough patiince I suppose, still it's nice to see happy kittehs, now I have to dislodge her so I cna leave the house, scardy cat has become immovable object cat!

Phaze

metaoblivia

It just takes time OP! Like a lot of posters here, I too got a rescue cat a few years ago. She was terrified of us for a while. She would hide under the bed and hiss at anyone who crouched down to look at her. She wouldn't go downstairs at all, even to get food. We didn't force interaction, but we did tempt her with toys and made sure every interaction was positive so that she knew she was safe.

Now, she happily prances around the entire house. She mews and follows us around the house, jumps into our laps, demands pets, plays with our other cat and dog. She even follows the dog around and nuzzles on him. It was a slow process and took a few months, but I was just saying to my roommate yesterday how far she's come from that scared little cat who wouldn't come out from underneath the bed.

Hitchens

A feral cat with two kittens came around our gaff and because we don't like seeing an animal miserable we started feeding the kittens. After a while the mother cat stopping visiting but the two kittens hung around but wouldn't allow us to come too close.

Gradually the female kitten became tame but her brother would hiss and scoot off if approached.

What we did then was to ignore him altogether while making a fuss of his sister. This seemed to make him curious and he would sidle up carefully and allow minimal contact at first, and then he became more trusting bit by bit.

Anyway, that was 3 or 4 years ago and now he is just an old pet (and neutered at 6 months) and will follow us around and loves to have his belly tickled.

Stick with it and all will be fine in due course.

brrabus

Give her time, she will come round, you will probably find that she is even more affectionate than you ever imagined. She is not used to big thing, loud noises, etc. When you are walking around, talk your shoes off. I would not follow her with food or anything, she knows where it is, she will find it. Let her come to you, acknowledge her when you come in but don't smother her. You have to learn to ignore at the beginning, it will pay dividends in hugs.

looksee

I have two rescue cats from small kittens. One is pretty well unmoved by anything (tabby) but not all that friendly, the other is a very nervous skinny black cat - they are now a couple of years old - who sometimes acts as though she is terrified of me, at other times she sits on me, shares my bed, mashes and purrs and is generally excessively friendly. She also treats the tabby as 'alpha cat' when feeding but then will attack and bully her. Psychotic or what?

MMFF

Poor thing. Might be best to have it put down than live a life of fear

orchidsrpretty

MMFF wrote: »

Poor thing. Might be best to have it put down than live a life of fear

Eh what now? The cat is not living a life of fear, just going through an adjustment phase. I suppose we could put down all our animals as they can all get scared at times.

MMFF

orchidsrpretty wrote: »

Eh what now? The cat is not living a life of fear, just going through an adjustment phase. I suppose we could put down all our animals as they can all get scared at times.

It's not fair to have them in a perpetual state

Chuck Stone

MMFF wrote: »

Poor thing. Might be best to have it put down than live a life of fear

MMFF wrote: »

It's not fair to have them in a perpetual state

Ya think...?