how to answer questions about why I had a section

2xj3hplqgsbkym

So I recently had an elective c section. Mainly because during the birth of my first baby I got a 4th degree tear and another vaginal delivery would put me high risk of incontinence.
I'm happy with my decision, but I hate having to explain it to other people.
I never told friends or even some family about the tear but now find that everyone is asking me - " oh you had a section did you, how come?"
I think this is really personal and don't want to discuss how my anal sphincter muscle was torn open with anyone other than my doctor.
So my question is how should I answer this question politely to friends?
" for medical reasons" sounds a bit rude/ blunt.
Am I just being oversensitive?

Gee_G

I'd have no problem leaving it at that just saying for medical reasons. Its really nothing to do wiT anybody else but I know how some people probe. You could just say you had a hard time the last time and your doctor recommended it? If you don't go into any further detail I'd hope people wouLd have the manners not to ask!

lazygal

For medical reasons is perfectly acceptable. I also had a planned section due to a breech position. There were some people who thought I was a "too posh to push" woman but I had no choice about how to deliver my baby. If they were cheeky enough to pry I just said it was a medical decision for my health and baby.

seamus

I think you're right that "for medical reasons" does sound a bit abrupt, but unless the person asking you is a medical professional then they should know to not ask any further questions.

You could also say something like, "I had a tough birth on my first, so I was medically advised to go for a c-section for future births". I think that kind of gives the gist of the reason, without giving away any sensitive information.

January

I'd be itching to tell them to mind their own beeswax, I had a c section and that's all you need to know.

But... I agree with seamus, tell them that because you had a tough birth on your first you were advised to have a c section on your second.

Hobbitfeet

Nosy feckers some people. Tell them medical reasons that are personal and you would rather not go into it. Must be awful to have people questioning you like that hope you ok x

ash23

I had a host of issues when having my daughter. I was only 20 having her so everyone asked why I had a section. I used to just say that my labour didn't progress.

Kinda the truth but left out a lot of the other drama.

Neyite

Yeah, I'd just say that your doctor and you agreed that a C-section was safer this time around, due to various reasons. If they press you for more information, just say that you prefer not to go into detail.

dudara

Something along the lines of "On my doctor's advice" and leave it at that. No need to provide any further information.

Mink

I'll be honest, I'm a bit nosey and I'd be the type that would ask. However I think that's because I just had a baby and I've been absolutely infatuated with all things birth & baby for over a year. I'm genuinely interested, but some people are just plain nosey & then judgemental

If it's someone you know fairly well "had a tough first birth so it was medically advised"
If not known so well, "on advice of my doctor"

You're not being over sensitive at all, it's your business. If I'm asking someone a personal question I always tell them to tell me to feck off if they don't want to get into it.

slarkin123

If you tell them you're too posh to push, i can guarantee there'll be no more questions

Ellsbells

Tell them it's your personal medical history and you don't want to discuss it. People can be so nosey and inappropriate and there is no excuse for it

lounakin

I'd say: "don't want to have my anus torn open a second time and mind your own business!"

Sparklygirl

I have to admit that I would ask the question, only because I am interested in other birth stories. I had two sections and birth stories are seriously poplular in our Mother Toddler group, we seem to really enjoy talking about the desperate times we had! . I can totally understand though, that you don't want to tell people such a personal thing and I agree with the other posters. If you told me it was for medical reasons or doctors advice, I would immediately understand that it is none of my business and not up for discussion and I would not think it abrupt either. Some women have terrible birth stories and they are personal and not for public consumption.

Good luck with the section .

wmpdd3

I love a good birth story, but if someone said medical reasons, even I'd have the cop on not to ask any further.

I would be more inclined to ask if you were happy with that decision, to me its more important that the mum got what they wanted than what procedure was done.

I was shocked at how a first degree tear effected me, so I'd fully under stand how anyone would do anything to preserve their anatomy.

movingsucks

"The doctors thought it would be for the best this time"

Some people are genuinely curious, some don't really understand what they are asking and some are nosey vultures dying to hear a bit of misery.
Can't please em all!

the_syco

Heath Poor Voice wrote: »

" for medical reasons" sounds a bit rude

Asking why you got a section sounds a bit rude, so fup them.