The Humour Thread **Chat/Discussion = 24 Hour Ban, Mod Notes Post 1 (26/11)

Liam O

One team there is the odd one out

Will I Amnt

:pac:

garra

J. Marston wrote: »

And they say White Men Can't jump, huh!!

J. Marston

bucketybuck

Luke killed the Rancor!

smileyj1987

Will I Amnt wrote: »

:pac:

Change that to an Andy Carroll selfie .

Will I Amnt

smileyj1987 wrote: »

Change that to an Andy Carroll selfie .

No, Andy Carroll doesn't play for Liverpool anymore.

Xenji

Ref: "Gibbs, you're off!" Ox: "But ref, it was me!" Ref: "Shut up Walcott, get on with the game

dreamers75

UberArsenal ‏@UberAFC 12m
Marriner rang Lewis Hamilton at half-time and apologised for wrongly sending him off.

barone

Omackeral

"Kieran Gibbs has just been found guilty in the Oscar Pistorious trial"

3hn2givr7mx1sc

dreamers75

Arsenal need to ban this chap.

keano_afc

dreamers75 wrote: »

Arsenal need to ban this chap.

Sat behind him in the away end at Bolton a few seasons back. He's a nutjob. Doesn't stop shouting for the entire game. Gave Alex Song in particular dogs abuse. And we won that day too.

kfallon

He's not all bad luck, this was after the 5-3 win at Stamford Bridge, he got RvP's shirt

BNMC

Agueroooo

:pac:

blueser

Apparently Moyes and Pellegrini held a joint press conference this afternoon ahead of the big showdown tonight...

Red Crow

My favourite one of Moyes will always be:

blueser

Agueroooo

barone

Old trafford to be rebranded as the o3 arena

citytillidie

Man Utd unveil a new badge for next season

The_Kew_Tour

Nottnhingham Post today

major bill

Love this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmWXVHBo84A

Sugarlumps

SM01

Not humour in the traditional sense. From Artur Petrosyan, the Russian journalist:

One win could be enough for FC Luch-Energiya from Vladivostok to get into the Europa League next season. If you're not good on Russian geography, here's Vladivostok on google maps...


https://www.google.co.uk/maps/place/Vladivostok/@41.0882219,85.2780246,3z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x5fb39cba5249d485:0x186704d4dd967e35

GavRedKing

Now that would be the mother of all European away trips.

From my house, it is 12,848 km.

Jelle1880

That's insane, I bet most clubs would beg not to draw them.

Michael D Not Higgins

I presume that's based on CSKA beating them in final of the cup and also qualifying from the league?

Captain Havoc

GavRedKing wrote: »

From my house, it is 12,848 km.

From North Korea it's 174km.

dan1895

Pat's are bound to end up against them.

blueser

El Weirdo

dreamers75

SM01 wrote: »

Not humour in the traditional sense. From Artur Petrosyan, the Russian journalist:

One win could be enough for FC Luch-Energiya from Vladivostok to get into the Europa League next season. If you're not good on Russian geography, here's Vladivostok on google maps...


https://www.google.co.uk/maps/place/Vladivostok/@41.0882219,85.2780246,3z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x5fb39cba5249d485:0x186704d4dd967e35

Oh FFS

Nailed on Pats get them, its nto even ****ing funny anymore.

М58
Driving directions to Печорская ул.
This route includes a ferry.
This route has tolls.
This route includes a car transport.
This route crosses through multiple countries.

Inchicore
Dublin, Ireland
1. Head east on Jamestown Road toward O'Donoghue Street
290 m
2. Turn right onto Naas Road/R810
65 m
3. Turn left onto Davitt Road/R812
1.5 km
4. Turn right onto Dolphin Road/R111
Continue to follow R111
4.3 km
5. Turn right onto Baggot Street Upper/R816
Continue to follow R816
700 m
6. Turn right onto Bóthar Northumberland/Northumberland Road/R118
Continue to follow R118
4.9 km
7. Continue onto Rock Road/N31
Continue to follow N31
1.0 km
8. Turn left onto Newtown Ave./N31
140 m
9. Take the 1st right onto Seapoint Ave./N31
Continue to follow N31
2.1 km
10. Turn left onto Harbour Road/N31
27 m
11. Take the 1st right to stay on Harbour Road/N31
400 m
12. Slight left onto Dun Laoghaire, IE - Holyhead, UK
240 m
13. Take the Dun Laoghaire, IE - Holyhead, UK ferry
Toll road
Entering United Kingdom
107 km
14. Continue straight
900 m
15. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto A55
40 m
16. Turn left to stay on A55
110 m
17. Turn right onto London Rd/A55
120 m
18. Turn left onto Victoria Rd/A55
Continue to follow A55
Go through 3 roundabouts
120 km
19. Continue onto A494
10.9 km
20. Continue onto M56 (signs for Runcorn/Warrington/Manchester)
31.9 km
21. At junction 9, exit onto M6 toward Birmingham
89.8 km
22. Continue onto M6 Toll
Toll road
35.5 km
23. Continue onto M42
1.6 km
24. Take the exit on the right toward London (N&E)/M1/Coventry (N&E)
5.3 km
25. Merge onto M6
36.2 km
26. Merge onto M1
98.3 km
27. At junction 6A, take the M25 exit to M11/Dartford
1.5 km
28. Continue on the ramp and merge onto M25
Partial toll road
64.8 km
29. Continue onto A282
Partial toll road
6.7 km
30. Continue onto M25 (signs for Dover/M20/Channel Tunnel/M23)
4.3 km
31. Take the exit onto M20
77.3 km
32. At junction 11A, exit toward Channel Tunnel
650 m
33. Continue straight
2.0 km
34. Slight left
800 m
35. Slight left
94 m
36. Take the Channel Tunnel train to Coquelles
Entering France
54.5 km
37. Continue straight
120 m
38. Turn right toward Av. de France
1.1 km
39. Continue straight onto Av. de France
1.0 km
40. Keep right at the fork and merge onto A16
Entering Belgium
56.9 km
41. Continue onto E40
90.7 km
42. At the interchange Zwijnaarde, keep right and follow signs for E17 toward Gent/Antwerpen
1.9 km
43. Follow signs for Gent-Centrum/B401
220 m
44. At the interchange Gent-Centrum, keep right and follow signs for E17 toward Antwerpen/Haven 1-6990
49.9 km
45. Continue onto E34
8.8 km
46. Keep right to stay on E34, follow signs for E313/Luik/Hasselt/Eindhoven/Turnhout
9.2 km
47. Keep right to stay on E34, follow signs for Eindhoven/Turnhout
Entering Netherlands
48.7 km
48. Continue onto A67/E34
22.5 km
49. Keep right to continue on A67/E34, follow signs for Venlo/Duisburg
Entering Germany
52.3 km
50. Continue onto A40/E34
42.4 km
51. At the interchange 14-Kreuz Kaiserberg, keep right and follow signs for A3 toward Hannover/Arnheim
12.3 km
52. Continue onto E34
700 m
53. Continue onto A2
473 km
54. Merge onto A10
64.9 km
55. Keep right to continue on A12, follow signs for Warschau/Warszawa/Frankfurt
Entering Poland
58.8 km
56. Continue onto E30
Partial toll road
454 km
57. At the interchange Konotopa, keep right and follow signs for E77/S8 toward S7/Gdańsk/Centrum/E67/Warszawa/Praga Płn./Białystok
1.1 km
58. Merge onto E77
13.6 km
59. Continue onto Aleja Armii Krajowej/E67
Continue to follow E67
8.0 km
60. Take the ramp on the left onto Aleja Marszałka Józefa Piłsudskiego/E67
Continue to follow E67
173 km
61. Turn left to stay on E67
1.8 km
62. Take the exit
180 m
63. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit onto the Generała Franciszka Kleeberga/E67 ramp
200 m
64. Merge onto Generała Franciszka Kleeberga/E67
Continue to follow DK65
Go through 2 roundabouts
Entering Belarus
57.4 km
65. Continue onto Р99
Go through 2 roundabouts
133 km
66. Turn left to stay on Р99
5.3 km
67. Take the ramp onto E30/M1
Entering Russia
408 km
68. Continue straight onto M1
439 km
69. Continue onto ш. Можайское
4.2 km
70. Continue onto пр. Кутузовский
4.5 km
71. Continue onto пл. Победы
350 m
72. Continue onto пр. Кутузовский
600 m
73. Slight right onto the ramp to М3/ЛЕНИНСКИЙ пр-т
500 m
74. Merge onto 3-е кольцо
16.3 km
75. Take the М7/ЭНТУЗИАСТОВ ш. exit toward МКАД
400 m
76. Merge onto а/д Волга/ш. Энтузиастов/М7
Continue to follow а/д Волга/М7
163 km
77. Take the ramp
400 m
78. Continue straight
53.7 km
79. Keep right at the fork and merge onto а/д Волга/М7
Go through 2 roundabouts
826 km
80. Slight right toward Мензелинский тракт/а/д Волга/ш. Автодорога номер 1/М7
140 m
81. Slight right onto Мензелинский тракт/а/д Волга/ш. Автодорога номер 1/М7
Continue to follow Мензелинский тракт/а/д Волга/М7
Go through 1 roundabout
5.7 km
82. At the roundabout, take the 1st exit onto а/д Волга/ул. Металлургическая/М7
2.6 km
83. Turn right onto а/д Волга/М7
98.8 km
84. Turn right
38.1 km
85. Turn right
48.3 km
86. Turn left
9.8 km
87. Turn left
2.4 km
88. Turn right
11.0 km
89. Turn right
9.8 km
90. Turn left toward М5
20.8 km
91. Turn left onto М5
498 km
92. Take the exit
650 m
93. Continue straight
16.4 km
94. Continue straight onto М36
4.3 km
95. Slight right
43.2 km
96. Take the ramp onto ш. Курганское/М51
Continue to follow М51
Go through 4 roundabouts
370 km
97. At the roundabout, take the 2nd exit
101 km
98. At the roundabout, take the 1st exit
75.0 km
99. Slight left toward Р402
10.0 km
100. Turn right onto Р402
Go through 1 roundabout
304 km
101. Slight right to stay on Р402
19.2 km
102. Turn right onto ул. Кондратюка
16.0 km
103. Take the ramp onto М51
Go through 2 roundabouts
83.3 km
104. At the roundabout, take the 1st exit and stay on М51
Go through 2 roundabouts
531 km
105. Exit onto Омский тракт
14.4 km
106. Continue onto ш. Омский тракт
4.9 km
107. At the roundabout, take the 4th exit
Go through 1 roundabout
7.2 km
108. Continue straight onto ул. Станционная
5.2 km
109. At пл. Энергетиков, take the 1st exit
270 m
110. At пл. Труда, take the 3rd exit onto ул. Широкая
550 m
111. Continue onto ул. Ватутина
450 m
112. Turn left onto ул. Котовского
1.6 km
113. Continue onto ул. Блюхера
500 m
114. Continue onto пл. Лыщинского
91 m
115. Turn left toward ул. Восход
2.6 km
116. Continue straight onto ул. Восход
750 m
117. Turn right onto ул. Кирова
1.0 km
118. Turn left onto ул. Никитина
3.4 km
119. Continue onto ш. Гусинобродское
3.2 km
120. Continue onto ш. Гусинобродский тракт
3.0 km
121. Continue onto ш. Гусинобродский Тракт
7.3 km
122. Continue onto Р384
144 km
123. Turn left toward ул. Дорожная
96.0 km
124. Continue straight onto ул. Дорожная
850 m
125. Continue onto ул. Таврическая
1.9 km
126. Continue onto ул. Камышинская 2-я
1.8 km
127. Turn right onto пр. Кузнецкий
6.9 km
128. Continue onto ул. Нахимова
6.7 km
129. Continue onto Байкал/М53
Continue to follow М53
158 km
130. Turn right to stay on М53
Go through 1 roundabout
186 km
131. М53 turns left and becomes ул. Пузановой
70 m
132. ул. Пузановой turns right and becomes ул. Патушинского
400 m
133. Turn left onto ул. Красного Октября
350 m
134. Turn right onto ул. Дзержинского
2.6 km
135. Continue onto М53
Go through 1 roundabout
149 km
136. Take the ramp onto М53
243 km
137. Turn right to stay on М53
188 km
138. Turn right to stay on М53
617 km
139. Keep right to continue on Байкал/М53
Continue to follow М53
5.6 km
140. Slight right toward М55
23.7 km
141. Slight right toward М55
260 m
142. Slight right onto М55
418 km
143. Slight left onto ул. Кабанская
1.9 km
144. Continue onto ул. Дорожная
350 m
145. Continue onto ул. Иволгинская
2.8 km
146. Continue onto ул. Борсоева
2.4 km
147. Sharp right toward пр. 50 лет Октября
160 m
148. Continue straight onto пр. 50 лет Октября
1.2 km
149. Turn right to stay on пр. 50 лет Октября
700 m
150. Continue onto ул. Лимонова
700 m
151. Continue onto ул. Ботаническая
1.6 km
152. Turn left toward ул. Н. Петрова/Р436
230 m
153. Turn right onto ул. Н. Петрова/Р436
Continue to follow Р436
5.7 km
154. Turn left onto ул. Гарнаева/Р436
Continue to follow Р436
1.2 km
155. Turn left onto ул. Заиграевская/Р436
Continue to follow Р436
407 km
156. Turn right to stay on Р436
144 km
157. At the roundabout, take the 3rd exit onto Амур/М58
Continue to follow М58
Go through 1 roundabout
1,340 km
158. Turn right
450 m
159. Turn right toward М58
650 m
160. Take the 1st left onto М58
754 km
161. Take the ramp onto ул. Воронежская/М58
4.4 km
162. Turn left onto ул. Большая
2.6 km
163. Continue onto пр. 60-летия Октября
20.4 km
164. Take the ramp onto ул. Краснореченская/М60
Continue to follow М60
335 km
165. Slight right onto а/д Уссури/М60
Go through 1 roundabout
323 km
166. Keep left at the fork, follow signs for ВЛАДИВОСТОК and merge onto а/д Уссури/М60
50.4 km
167. Take the ramp onto М60
18.8 km
168. Exit onto а/д Уссури/ул. Маковского/М60
Continue to follow а/д Уссури/М60
10.1 km
169. Take the exit
87 m
170. Continue straight
150 m
171. Turn right toward Печорская ул.
170 m
172. Take the 1st left onto Печорская ул.
250 m

Печорская ул.

RasTa

Skip to 8.07 mark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD-LjX_K9Cg

Omackeral

dreamers75 wrote: »

Oh FFS

Nailed on Pats get them, its nto even ****ing funny anymore.

"Печорская"

You know it's far away when the towns aren't even spelled in letters anymore and are just a series of consecutive squiggles and shapes.

Gokei

Omackeral wrote: »

You know it's far away when.......

....... you read step 157

Not G.R

Omackeral wrote: »

"Печорская"

You know it's far away when.....

You have to get a flight to Japan and then another flight/boat for a European cup away game.

keano_afc

United might get them, if they qualify.

8-10

http://www.fourfourtwo.com/features/far-east-and-far-out-russias-remotest-derby-sea-japan

Driving isn't recommended. Six years ago, a hardy trio of Zenit St Petersburg fans climbed into a 20-year-old Honda to drive to a league game in Vladivostok – 4,000 miles as the crow flies, more like 6,500 miles as the road wends.

Although they managed to see their club record a 2-0 win, the car died, leaving them stranded in Vladivostok.

inforfun

Would be record breaking when Galway manages to get into Europe the same season as these guys.

But since Feyenoord manages to draw the most obscure Eastern European clubs in the last decade, i know what will happen.

prettyboy81

I hope the Russian out post qualify, the draw with them in it will be the highlight of the competition ha! Says it all about the Europa League really.

user2011

Hmm.. :pac:

googled eyes

Moyes ?!?!




Can't believe he really said this. It'll really help him with the fans :pac:

googled eyes

googled eyes wrote: »

Moyes ?!?!




:

blueser

googled eyes wrote: »

Moyes ?!?!




Can't believe he really said this. I'll really help him with the fans :pac:

It's gone down REALLY well with them;

http://www.redcafe.net/threads/david-moyes-fergie-would-have-struggled-this-year.387523/

Will I Amnt

googled eyes wrote: »

Moyes ?!?!

Can't believe he really said this.

He didn't.

Shaque attack

Will I Amnt wrote: »

He didn't.

Right again, Will. Let's completely ignore this scurrilous and misleading article and focus on what makes the humour thread humourous.


David Moyes exact words were "I think that if Sir Alex was here this year it would be difficult for him as well and he would be aware of that"

He's beyond deluded if he thinks Ferguson would have struggled with the team, in anyway similar to how he has, that won the league with by 11 points with this year.

dundalkfc10

Shaque attack wrote: »

Right again, Will. Let's completely ignore this scurrilous and misleading article and focus on what makes the humour thread humourous.


David Moyes exact words were "I think that if Sir Alex was here this year it would be difficult for him as well and he would be aware of that"

He's beyond deluded if he thinks Ferguson would have struggled with the team, in anyway similar to how he has, that won the league with by 11 points with this year.

He never said that he would have struggled as much as him, he said " it would be difficult for him as well"