Flat frog

dj jarvis

i have/had a really big frog that lives in my back garden
every day or two , me and the kids will go out "hunting" and find the frog ,
they love it and the hunting ritual.

well i was just out in the garden , its dark and i stood on something squishy,
i got a torch and to my horror , its the frog , flattened and bits oozing from it

and making it all more gruesome , i got a spade to pick up the victim and the blastard hopped away from me :eek: , its in bits but still alive !!!

hope to christ the kids dont find it - that would be some Halloween horror


so the question, have any of the AH'ers killed or maimed a family pet or and friends pet ?? ** accidents only **

1ZRed

dj jarvis wrote: »

i have/had a really big frog that lives in my back garden
every day or two , me and the kids will go out "hunting" and find the frog ,
they love it and the hunting ritual.

well i was just out in the garden , its dark and i stood on something squishy,
i got a torch and to my horror , its the frog , flattened and bits oozing from it

and making it all more gruesome , i got a spade to pick up the victim and the blastard hopped away from me :eek: , its in bits but still alive !!!

hope to christ the kids dont find it - that would be some Halloween horror


so the question, have any of the AH'ers killed or maimed a family pet or and friends pet ?? ** accidents only **

Ahh! I was with you until this part and looking forward to posting too

smash

I tried to make a catdog once but it didn't survive.

Aw, did he croak it?

Boombastic

dj jarvis wrote: »

so the question, have any of the AH'ers killed or maimed a family pet or and friends pet ?? ** accidents only **

No but I have 2 lovely frogs that live in my greenhouse and and hoping my dog doesn't get them:(

Jimoslimos

toads amazeballs:pac:


Seriously though, aren't most frogs protected by law. Expect a knock on the door anytime soon

flutterflye

Once I was walking home and saw a little frog hopping along the path headed for the road.
Spent ages trying to get him to safety - sent him hopping the other way towards a green area.
Was happy enough, so continued on my way home.
Heard a car coming so turned around just in time to see the little froggy go smish under the wheels of the car

admiralofthefleet

get your kids to lick the frog, it will be like fear and loathing in las vegas - irish style

girl2

Seriously??

You obviously missed this one

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=221805

dj jarvis

girl2 wrote: »

Seriously??

You obviously missed this one

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=221805

jesus h christus :eek:

wendell borton

I licked a green fat frog once, tasted fruity.

mauzo

I left my sons hamster in the kitchen overnight after I had cleaned its cage.

Kitchen window was open and the poor bugger froze to death

gronemeyer

My granny killed my sisters budgie years ago. She was half blind and offered to look after it when we were on holidays, my sister said yes, as a result the budgie was on a diet of sand for 2 weeks which no doubt contributed to it's death less then a week later

WoollyRedHat

I once shot my cat. Then the neighbours cat, and then the neighbours neighbours cat... I carried on in this trajectory until pretty much there was no cats left in the neighbourhood, no more meowing, ha ha.

I then pranced up and down the street singing Memory. When I explained the situation and told them it was all one bit of understanding, well the neighbours didn't exactly belive me.

I'm in a mental institution now, ha ha, fecking cats, mad things

antodeco

How were you planning on getting ribbet it?

Markcheese

mauzo wrote: »

I left my sons hamster in the kitchen overnight after I had cleaned its cage.

Kitchen window was open and the poor bugger froze to death

Yeah, sure it "froze " to death .... Sure you weren't zapping it in the microwave... Or a bowl of water with the toaster just to see what would happen...

Where To

I had a mate who always got the wrong end of the stick.

He suffocated trying to shove himself up a gerbil's ass.

Musefan

Cat + Warm Tumbledryer + Unaware Mother

antodeco

Jimoslimos wrote: »

toads amazeballs:pac:


Seriously though, aren't most frogs protected by law. Expect a knock on the door anytime soon

I have this vision of the frog going into a Garda station to press charges

Larianne

wendell borton wrote: »

I licked a green fat frog once, tasted fruity.

OMG, I'm sick and would LOVE a Fat Frog icecream right now. :mad::(

Speaking of Frogs/Toads - Cane Toads are pests in Australia. People tried killing them by using them to test their golfing swings, but the feckers turned inside out. :eek: Best way to kill Cane Toads - put them in a freezer bag and freeze them to death! That's what I read on a poster outside a shop in the outback!!! Magine, in getting your frozen peas and the toads riggling, half dead beside them. Ew.

mauzo

Markcheese wrote: »

Yeah, sure it "froze " to death .... Sure you weren't zapping it in the microwave... Or a bowl of water with the toaster just to see what would happen...

No he definitely froze, god Im going to cry thinking of the poor little dude freezing all night and then just dying...

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Larianne wrote: »

OMG, I'm sick and would LOVE a Fat Frog icecream right now. :mad::(

Speaking of Frogs/Toads - Cane Toads are pests in Australia. People tried killing them by using them to test their golfing swings, but the feckers turned inside out. :eek: Best way to kill Cane Toads - put them in a freezer bag and freeze them to death! That's what I read on a poster outside a shop in the outback!!! Magine, in getting your frozen peas and the toads riggling, half dead beside them. Ew.

Jesus Larianne!

Would be a great idea for Halloween, jam a stick up it and freeze it...duely hand them out to the kids.

mauzo

benwavner wrote: »

Jesus Larianne!

Would be a great idea for Halloween, jam a stick up it and freeze it...duely hand them out to the kids.

Dip them in chocolate first! :cool:

seven_eleven

I have lots of frogs in my back garden too. I love them and love seeing/observing them. They're so cute, but I cant count the amount of times Ive nearly blended one with my lawnmower. Luckily none yet.

mauzo

mauzo wrote: »

Dip them in chocolate first! :cool:

Fat frogs did not have chocolate.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Deleted User wrote: »

Fat frogs did not have chocolate.

That might have worked though....like the top of a Loop the Loop...mmmm

Larianne

benwavner wrote: »

Jesus Larianne!

Tis true!!

benwavner wrote: »

Would be a great idea for Halloween, jam a stick up it and freeze it...duely hand them out to the kids.

mauzo wrote: »

Dip them in chocolate first! :cool:

Evil, but I like it! :pac: Do it once, you'll never have kids come knocking at your door at Halloween!

Larianne

benwavner wrote: »

That might have worked though....like the top of a Loop the Loop...mmmm

Or big toe of a freaky foot..

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Larianne wrote: »

Tis true!!

Evil, but I like it! :pac: Do it once, you'll never have kids come knocking at your door at Halloween!

I'm dreading Halloween, although, the kids are getting spanish onions dipped in chocolate and sprinkles instead of chocolate apples.

Little fookers. :P

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Larianne wrote: »

Or big toe of a freaky foot..

Awww, now you are speaking my language!!!! Can you still get them?

Remember chilly willies?

Larianne

benwavner wrote: »

Awww, now you are speaking my language!!!! Can you still get them?

No

benwavner wrote: »

Remember chilly willies?

I most certainly don't!

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Larianne wrote: »

No

I most certainly don't!

Aw, you missed out!

Larianne

Afraid to ask what it is/was...

Bruthal

mauzo wrote: »

No he definitely froze, god Im going to cry thinking of the poor little dude freezing all night and then just dying...

He probably just went into hybernation mode, seemingly dead, and woke just as the toilet was flushing him away...

ScumLord

Aren't frogs a protected species in Ireland?

Bruthal

ScumLord wrote: »

Aren't frogs a protected species in Ireland?

Yea, but its hard to protect against accidents.

ScumLord

ScumLord wrote: »

Aren't frogs a protected species in Ireland?

Well that poor little guy wasn't being protected, someone isn't doing their job right.

meoklmrk91

I was once meant to look after my mothers birds when she went on holidays, a week in I remembered the birds, one was dead, he was quiet old and I guess just couldn't hack it, the other was fine, a bit skinny, but fine.

I felt so guilty as they were in the house so I passed them atleast a few times a day, it just completely slipped my mind

Also once ran over a rabbit, it was definately someone's pet as it was white and I would say that it escaped from a hitch or something, couldn't avoid it, when I heard the thump my heart sank into my stomach. Poor little guy.

ScumLord

robbie7730 wrote: »

Yea, but its hard to protect against accidents.

Health and safety would say otherwise, the garden should have been cordoned off and made into a frog reserve. This was an accident waiting to happen.

BrookieD

girl2 wrote: »

Seriously??

You obviously missed this one

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=221805

that was by far the funniest thing i have read in months... cried with laughter:D

senorwipesalot

Markcheese wrote: »

Yeah, sure it "froze " to death .... Sure you weren't zapping it in the microwave... Or a bowl of water with the toaster just to see what would happen...

mauzo wrote: »

No he definitely froze, god Im going to cry thinking of the poor little dude freezing all night and then just dying...

Fuc k it,if I was a gerbil Id rather freeze to death than suffocate up Richard Geres sherriffs badge.

Abi

dj jarvis wrote: »

and making it all more gruesome , i got a spade to pick up the victim and the blastard hopped away from me :eek: , its in bits but still alive !!!

What did you do with him in the end? He needs a belt of that spade I'd say.

kowloon

Yeah, you need to finish him off rather than leave the poor fecker suffer. It also gives you the chance to dispose of the body and conceal your crime.

Abi

Oh, and quickly find a replacement frog, or you'll be forever a murderer in the kids eyes.

dj jarvis

Abi wrote: »

Oh, and quickly find a replacement frog, or you'll be forever a murderer in the kids eyes.

jesus dont say that :eek:

and to add to my kill streak , today on the n11 i vaporized a pheasant,
it was standing in the fast lane with it's back to me , oblivious to the belt it was going to get

a car was in the inside lane and loads of traffic behind me , so i could not avoid him , and normally they cop on and get the fook out of the way,
but not this bucko - back of the head at 80 , looked in the mirror and it was snowing feathers and gizzards - when i stopped i had a look at the car and my poxy front grill is gone :eek:

i really feel sorry for it - he didn't see it coming
im going to hell