A Couple For Today

MonkieSocks

Police in North Dublin last night announced the discovery of an arms cache of 2000 semi-automatic rifles with 250,000 rounds of ammunition,10 Anti-tank missiles ,4 grenade launchers,20 tonnes of heroin,€50 million in forged banknotes and 25 trafficked Ukrainian prostitutes,

All in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library in Coolock.

Local residents were stunned and a community spokesman said:


"We're shocked!





We never knew we had a library."
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Pat and Bill, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Pat didn't show up.
Bill didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something..

But after Pat hadn't shown up for a week or so, Bill really got worried.
However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Bill didn't know where Pat lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Bill figured he had seen the last of Pat, but one day,

Bill approached the park and-- lo and behold!--there sat Pat!
Bill was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.

Then he said, 'For crying out loud Pat, what in the world happened to you?'

Pat replied, 'I have been in jail.'

'Jail!' cried Bill. What in the world for?'

'Well,' Pat said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

'Yeah,' said Bill, 'I remember her. What about her?

'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.

'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'