Random touching

lounakin

I wonder does this happen to everyone... (sorry for the rant!)
Every time I go somewhere with my baby, people (old women especially) want to stop and chat, fair enough. What I don't get is the amount of people who decide to bend down and touch my child's face without asking and giving any warning so that I don't have time to ask: 'please, don't put your dirty fingers near my not fully immunised baby'.
The last one was a waitress in a brasserie...
The worst was a friend of my mum's, a woman (smoker) I'd never met before. I turn around and she's got her index INSIDE my baby's mouth. Yep.
Why?! I'd never do this even back when I didn't have a child.

Neyite

lounakin wrote: »

I wonder does this happen to everyone... (sorry for the rant!)
Every time I go somewhere with my baby, people (old women especially) want to stop and chat, fair enough. What I don't get is the amount of people who decide to bend down and touch my child's face without asking and giving any warning so that I don't have time to ask: 'please, don't put your dirty fingers near my not fully immunised baby'.
The last one was a waitress in a brasserie...
The worst was a friend of my mum's, a woman (smoker) I'd never met before. I turn around and she's got her index INSIDE my baby's mouth. Yep.
Why?! I'd never do this even back when I didn't have a child.

UGH!
No, thankfully the worst I've had is them touching the back of baby's hand. I think I'd go nuts if someone stuck their finger in his mouth - why the fcuk do we bother sterilising everything if it was ok to do that? What did you say to her OP?

lounakin

To the one who had her finger in my baby's mouth? I didn't say anything, I was literally frozen with amazement. It only lasted a few seconds so I decided to drop it.

pwurple

In their mouth? Cripes. Yeah, that would freak me out. Although, they would be lucky to still have their finger afterwards with my barracuda child.

lounakin

Well at the time my daughter had no teeth, she was only 2 months old

anncoates

News flash: your baby might just about survive physical contact with other humans.

lounakin

anncoates wrote: »

News flash: your baby might just about survive physical contact with other humans.

It's not really about surviving. I just don't want nasty fingers in my child's mouth. I think it's rude not to ask if you can touch someone's baby.

Neyite

anncoates wrote: »

News flash: your baby might just about survive physical contact with other humans.

Course they would, but a smokers finger in anyone's gob is manky, let alone a newborns.

Gee_G

Neyite wrote: »

Course they would, but a smokers finger in anyone's gob is manky, let alone a newborns.

Totally agree!And I'm a smoker! Always wash my hands before going near my little man,never mind sticking my finger in his mouth!

anncoates

Then just have a thread about the fingers in mouth thing rathet than implying the issue is about people touching your kid in general which sounds a bit OTT. God knows how you'll react when the kid starts putting all kinds of crap in their mouth

Orion

anncoates wrote: »

News flash: your baby might just about survive physical contact with other humans.

Your sarcasm is both unnecessary and unwanted in this forum. Please do not repeat it.

anncoates wrote: »

Then just have a thread about the fingers in mouth thing rathet than implying the issue is about people touching your kid in general which sounds a bit OTT. God knows how you'll react when the kid starts putting all kinds of crap in their mouth

You're missing the point with this one. The thread is about random touching - you've just latched on to one example given in the OP. Putting your fingers in the mouth of someone else's 2 month old child is inappropriate no matter what way you want to spin it.

anncoates

Fair enough on that, Orion. I did come across as sarcastic.

pushkii

god no i would go mad if someone tried to do that to my little one. There is boundaries and that was certainly crossing one.

Xdancer

I would draw the line at anyone putting their finger in my daughter's mouth. The only ones allowed do that are myself and my OH. I would freak if anyone else even tried!

Our little one comes to work with us and has done since 4 months. Most of our customers will go over to her for a little chat or to play with her, and she has tried biting their fingers but none of them let her thankfully

pwurple

lounakin wrote: »

Well at the time my daughter had no teeth, she was only 2 months old

Oh believe me, They don't need teeth to take a chunk out of people at any age. I was down a nipple and a half and about 6 soothers by the time she got the first tooth. No sign of leftie growing back either....oh well. Lactation lady was the one who first called her a barracuda baby when she was only days old. I remember her getting a good hard bite when she was trying to check the tongue and suck reflex.

Anyhoo... People do like to touch kids. For the most part I think it's fine. I mean, you could take it as a compliment. at least they are not recoiling in horror and backing away when they see them. The baby will tell them where to go if it bothers them. Lots of people like to touch my little girls hair at the moment, she has a few blondie curls bobbing about. She hates it though and will freak out screaming, hiding and giving them evil looks if they try it. Seems to have a decent enough defense there all by herself. They apologise fairly quickly for upsetting her.

The mouth thing though in a newborn. That really beats all.

Hannibal Smith

What ?! why would you put your finger in a newborns mouth? :eek: maybe you should've stuck your finger in her mouth and asked how she liked it

As for random touching i don't think i'd do it to a strangers baby...but i do to friends...i just love their little cheeks!

StillWaters

Touching or admiring babies is a very instinctive urge. Particularly with women who have had babies of their own. I think it brings us back to that happy time in our own lives. And babies are just so adorable.

Of course the finger woman overstepped the boundary though. Don't worry, soon enough you will be able to walk uninterrupted about your business, but in the meantime, enjoy the chats and bask as people dote on your baby.

xzanti

Neyite wrote: »

Course they would, but a smokers finger in anyone's gob is manky, let alone a newborns.

This.

And there is a such thing as Third Hand Smoke.. plus that's just disgusting..

I can't say I really got too many people randomly touching my baby but when he was only born and I'd have the hood up over the pram, it was almost like a magnet to old women..

I remember being in the park one day and I had just gotten him to sleep and some old lady came over and reefed the hood back to have a look at him.. woke him up too... Grrrrrrrrrrr

movingsucks

I always cringe a bit when people let my baby grab their finger because she always Puts her hands in her mouth.

I worked in a hospital so I'm way OTT about hand hygiene but one time a friend had visibly bloody fingernails and I just felt sick when she was pawing the baby.

lounakin

Oh believe me my baby is a biter too! No teeth (she's only 5 months) but she bites down like a horse... yet doesn't draw blood! She also bit the nurse who was checking for a tongue-tie! ha ha

lounakin

xzanti wrote: »

This.

And there is a such thing as Third Hand Smoke.. plus that's just disgusting..

I can't say I really got too many people randomly touching my baby but when he was only born and I'd have the hood up over the pram, it was almost like a magnet to old women..

I remember being in the park one day and I had just gotten him to sleep and some old lady came over and reefed the hood back to have a look at him.. woke him up too... Grrrrrrrrrrr

That's funny, I just had a similar experience this morning in a shopping centre. I had a big scarf covering her because she was sleeping and we entered the lift with two women, one of whom gave me the third degree for covering the baby and said: 'ooh, is it some kind of secret under there? Are we not meant to see?!'... luckily she didn't try to lift the veil on the amazing mystery. But she did wake her up!

Squiggler

This was just one of the reasons that my husband and I decided we wanted to use carriers and slings instead of a pram or travel system. To touch our baby would involve getting much closer to whoever is carrying the baby than even the most thoughtless toucher would venture - and it is easy to swivel the baby away or, if the worst comes to the worst, both arms are free to deflect the really aggressive

I think it is a respect thing, and people who touch strange babies without asking are showing no respect for the baby or the parents. Most babies don't like being poked and prodded even by people they know so why should we let them be pawed by strangers for the stranger's benefit?

galah

believe me, that doesnt stop some people...

had E in a carrier when he was about 6 months old or so, middle of the heatwave, stupidly warm, and this slightly crazy looking lady stepped straight up to me, put her hand on E's head, and barked at me to put a hat on the poor freezing child.:eek: It was literally 28 degrees out there (felt bad enough for having him a carrier (and if she hadnt added the 'freezing' bit, I would have thought, fair enough, he may get sunburned, but that wasnt it.)

Very odd.

Squiggler

Haha Galah! I find it hilarious how often people suggest wrapping babies up even in warm weather/indoors.

I suppose that we have the added advantage that we're both pretty tall, which puts him a bit out of easy reach too - and I guess makes us a bit more intimidating.

lounakin

The woman who put her finger in my daughter's mouth stayed with us for a few days over the summer. First time I'd seen her. She spent all day with a camera in my face, taking pics and videos, there was nothing I could do to stop her! But the very worst she did, and I swear this is true: my mother was outside with the baby while I was getting a drink of water in the kitchen. Suddenly I see that woman running in with an oval tray, all excited. She says to me: "I'm looking for a giant fork and a giant knife!'. I give her the carving knife and fork and follow her out. She proceeds to put my baby on the tray and puts the super sharp knife and pointy fork above the baby and asks someone to take a picture!! I screamed and got my baby.

Neyite

Oh jeez, she is nuts! If it was my mothers friend I think I'd have had to get the mother to have a word with her.

Lola92

lounakin wrote: »

The woman who put her finger in my daughter's mouth stayed with us for a few days over the summer. First time I'd seen her. She spent all day with a camera in my face, taking pics and videos, there was nothing I could do to stop her! But the very worst she did, and I swear this is true: my mother was outside with the baby while I was getting a drink of water in the kitchen. Suddenly I see that woman running in with an oval tray, all excited. She says to me: "I'm looking for a giant fork and a giant knife!'. I give her the carving knife and fork and follow her out. She proceeds to put my baby on the tray and puts the super sharp knife and pointy fork above the baby and asks someone to take a picture!! I screamed and got my baby.

What the ****! That is crazy!

LegacyUser

Maybe I'm a weirdo because I think it's really sweet the way people come up and stroke my baby's cheek or touch his hand. Also I really liked all the attention when pregnant. I've been really surprised by how lovely people are actually, I didn't know people were like this about babies before I had one. I certainly never was.

Though I have a very healthy baby. Maybe I'd feel different if he was sickly.