Passive aggressive things people do that annoy you.

phasers

Chuck Stone wrote: »

But... but.. I use < in a 'happy for ya' or 'you're welcome' or 'good idea/suggestion' way.

Where's the paranoid smiley?

It can vary depending on the context but generally that smiley says 'I am so much better than you in every way'

shopaholic01

krudler wrote: »

this cunt --> :rolleyes:

phasers wrote: »

I hate that prick smiley too, he's much worse than rolleyes

Why do people get worked up over smileys?

I love :rolleyes:, I think it implies sarcasm in a 'yeah right' way as opposed to being offensive.

Surely is happy.


Maybe it's just me:eek:.

later12

Any grievance that involves a text message, especially the text message that deliberately contains snide, semi-hidden reproach.

Text messages were designed for convenient niceties when the recipient might not be able to take a call, to make mundane arrangements for coffee dates, and facilitate teenage break ups.

They were not designed for airing your personal bitterness in a way that avoids having to suffer the pain of confrontation where your hysterics might come undone, or prove unfounded. I abhor these sorts of messages.

The same applies to facebook messages or emails.

Shryke

Where To wrote: »

Is this love that I'm feeling,
Is this the love, that I've been searching for
Is this love or am I dreaming,
This must be love.

Simples.

:)

You've taken a grand lyrical bent lately.

Butterface

It pains me to admit it, but I left a passive-aggressive note for my housemate last year. I had tackled him about the issue face to face so many times, but he was spectacularly dim and it never did stick so one day I flipped. The note read "Please put your dishes IN the dishwasher, rather than ON TOP OF IT! It only takes a few seconds extra. Thanks."
I found it crumpled in the recycling bin.

Passive-aggressive notes do not work.

Furious_George

Passive aggressive sucks. Aggressive aggressive is where its at.

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGH I'll kill you all :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

See don't we all feel much better. Except that ive killed you all and am now talking to myself. Awkward

Rothko

Furious_George wrote: »

Passive aggressive sucks. Aggressive aggressive is where its at.

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGH I'll kill you all :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

See don't we all feel much better. Except that ive killed you all and am now talking to myself. Awkward

You sure do seem furious

Furious_George

Suas11 wrote: »

You sure do seem furious

Nah its all lies, I'm a happy chappy really. Don't tell anyone or else :mad:

MistyCheese

Furious_George wrote: »

Passive aggressive sucks. Aggressive aggressive is where its at.

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGH I'll kill you all :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

See don't we all feel much better. Except that ive killed you all and am now talking to myself. Awkward

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlMwc1c0HRQ

caste_in_exile

Never wilt to it, and pull em up on it instantly in case they think that's gonna be accepted as the norm.. in fact I'd probably leave them right there having detected that attempted method of control but it's hard when it's family, as opposed to friends such treachery is simply not in my armoury and I blame the popularity of the gallagher bros some for claiming to always be fighting as a selling point / hiatus excuse, but that Irish cliche they played up to may well be true..

We all need a healthy ego, I guess but that's a sad way to go about it for otherwise thick coonts. Not the way to get ahead

Emeraldy Pebbles

dr.bollocko wrote: »

People who leave passive aggressive notes really piss me off.

Shove it up yer hole.

The online equivalent would be naming your wifi something dickish.

The only notes I leave are friendly ones, usually saying thanks!

Emeraldy Pebbles

UCDVet wrote: »

I hate the way people passive-aggressively try to position themselves to the front of the queue at the bus stop. Especially in the mornings when it's going to take 5-6 busses before one even stops and then only lets on a handful of people.

People come to the bus stop, see that's packed with people and start off standing at the very edge. Then slowly start positioning themselves closer. As the bus comes over the horizon all bets are off, and they try to put themselves as close to where the doors will open as possible - if there is a big group to the left side, they run to the right - if there is a line going straight back - they try to squeeze in the side.

Drives me mad. 9 times out of 10 it's some old lady or some college kid who, despite just showing up, feels they are more important than everyone else. Naturally, they won't come out and say it, or even just walk to where the bus is going to stop - they try to be as sneaky as possible about it.

^^^^

Guaranteed you've done this yourself at some stage. You'll think you won't have but you more than likely will.

Furious_George

Emeraldy Pebbles wrote: »

The only notes I leave are friendly ones, usually saying thanks!

Those are the worst kind :eek:

Emeraldy Pebbles

phasers wrote: »

people who use the word 'simples' are all cnuts and I hate them.

Good god, YES!!!! 'Simples', the smuggest, most passive-aggressive thing a person can utter.

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Nope, it reminds of those meerkat adverts (compyooter-ma-bob!) and I love them. It's just a reference to a silly puppet, you need to chillax (or is that being passive aggrssive as well?)

No, not the way people on boards.ie use it.

Emeraldy Pebbles

Furious_George wrote: »

Those are the worst kind :eek:

How so? If someone has done me a favour and I don't have their email/phone and they've vamoosed for the day, I might leave a little thank you note, as I might forget when I see them again. How is that the "worst"?

Furious_George

Emeraldy Pebbles wrote: »

How so? If someone has done me a favour and I don't have their email/phone and they've vamoosed for the day, I might leave a little thank you note, as I might forget when I see them again. How is that the "worst"?

I was only my feeble attempt at humour. Clearly i should stick to anger

caste_in_exile

this passive aggression usually precedes the physical right??! and at home; or from an apparent friend because any other scenario I would relish the challenge tbh

Bipolar Joe

Furious_George wrote: »

I was only my feeble attempt at humour. Clearly i should stick to anger

I prefer sad George. Maybe despondent George would be better.

Katgurl

Again I hate passive aggressive c*ntbags. The only way to deal with them is to behave in a similar fashion.

I used to live with one of these offensive creatures. She moved in, Immediately moaned about everything, didn't clean up a single thing for two weeks and then called a meeting and demanded a rota. Naturally we told her to f**k off that we were happy and suggested she might learn to use some basic cop-on about consideration to her flat mates, wash dishes, vacuum, clean bathroom, empty bins as necessary. Despite our protests I came home the next day to find a laminated rota on the wall with alternating names beside weekly tasks such as wiping counters (for the rest of the week presumably we were just going to let organic matter grow because it wasn't the correct day to disinfect the surface) and peppered with cheerleader statements such as "come on girls let's tackle the mildew monster together".

With every fibre of my body I wanted to rip rota off wall and ram down her opinionated smug throat but instead I knocked on her door and smiled my most benign smile while enquiring after her wellbeing. Cue some confusion on her part when I expressed my concern that she didn't seem happy living in our unstructured environment or able to demonstrate initiative about keeping a home clean. I would not be offended I assured her if she wanted to move back out and then I quickly offered to help her pack and find a new place where she "would be happier with more like minded people".

Emeraldy Pebbles

Katgurl wrote: »

Again I hate passive aggressive c*ntbags. The only way to deal with them is to behave in a similar fashion.

I used to live with one of these offensive creatures. She moved in, Immediately moaned about everything, didn't clean up a single thing for two weeks and then called a meeting and demanded a rota. Naturally we told her to f**k off that we were happy and suggested she might learn to use some basic cop-on about consideration to her flat mates, wash dishes, vacuum, clean bathroom, empty bins as necessary. Despite our protests I came home the next day to find a laminated rota on the wall with alternating names beside weekly tasks such as wiping counters (for the rest of the week presumably we were just going to let organic matter grow because it wasn't the correct day to disinfect the surface) and peppered with cheerleader statements such as "come on girls let's tackle the mildew monster together".

With every fibre of my body I wanted to rip rota off wall and ram down her opinionated smug throat but instead I knocked on her door and smiled my most benign smile while enquiring after her wellbeing. Cue some confusion on her part when I expressed my concern that she didn't seem happy living in our unstructured environment or able to demonstrate initiative about keeping a home clean. I would not be offended I assured her if she wanted to move back out and then I quickly offered to help her pack and find a new place where she "would be happier with more like minded people".

I'm confused. Who was the passive-aggressive one in this story?

Katgurl

Emeraldy Pebbles wrote: »

I'm confused. Who was the passive-aggressive one in this story?

Oh both 100%

She dragged me down to her level with her obnoxious laminated rota then "come on girls.." message tipped me over the edge and I became as bad as her

caste_in_exile

When people, can't even pass you in the street without slipping a sly headbutt in

pirelli

1ZRed wrote: »

I despise passive aggressiveness in people. Someone I know was seriously pissed off at me and when I confronted him he said nothing was wrong and everything was fine, throughout the whole day he'd be subtly dropping sly comments and digs and being reserved, yet everything was fine.

Have a go at me directly like a normal person so we can move on with it or piss the fvck off! :mad:

Lefty liberal equality laws might be preventing him from expressing his true disgust at you. So he just drops sly hints. Sounds like a career problem, or something similar...is it?

Scruffles

phasers wrote: »

people who use the word 'simples' are all cnuts and I hate them.

Here is an example of a passive aggressive reply to the above statement:



Doesn't that make you want to claw your own eyes out? I hate that prick smiley too, he's much worse than rolleyes

consider them clawed out as we speak! ugh hate that stupid IRL meme.

passive agressiveness is probably how people were brought up/circumstances at home,such as being unable to fight back.

dad is exactly like that because of mums alcoholism as fighting back never got him anywhere.
dont think ever get through a weekend without fights coming from his passive agressive BS,which enrages everyone in the house.

caste_in_exile

When people sink a knife in you as they brush past, real pet hate that

Adyx

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Why do people get worked up over smileys?

I love :rolleyes:, I think it implies sarcasm in a 'yeah right' way as opposed to being offensive.

Surely is happy.


Maybe it's just me:eek:.

Nah I'm with Phasers on this, is a lot more condescending than :rolleyes: I do agree about :rolleyes: being kind of 'yeah right' but sarcasm is best when it's subtler.

uberalles

Good thread

KyussBishop

I hate it when a person has an issue with someone, but doesn't have the balls to state it to them straight out, so instead drops hints about it in such a way that they can deny who they are talking about (thus usually instilling paranoia in people, rather than resolving the issue).

A bit like that awful cúnt that posts on AH all the time; everyone knows the one.

ilovesleep

Say for example you have a conflicit with someone and you try and resolve it and try and make amends and try and figure out where it all went wrong. But then the other person, blanks you and ignores you, completely to fcuk careless and blind to their part in things. They don't even have the balls to say what their issue is and to notify you that the friendship/relationship is over.

Whats worse again is that they turn around, fcuk off onto facebook or twitter and start leaving comments or statuses - and you know it is a dig at you but you can't pull them on it either because it's not to you/your name is not there.

Teyla Emmagan

Katgurl wrote: »

Again I hate passive aggressive c*ntbags. The only way to deal with them is to behave in a similar fashion.

I used to live with one of these offensive creatures. She moved in, Immediately moaned about everything, didn't clean up a single thing for two weeks and then called a meeting and demanded a rota. Naturally we told her to f**k off that we were happy and suggested she might learn to use some basic cop-on about consideration to her flat mates, wash dishes, vacuum, clean bathroom, empty bins as necessary. Despite our protests I came home the next day to find a laminated rota on the wall with alternating names beside weekly tasks such as wiping counters (for the rest of the week presumably we were just going to let organic matter grow because it wasn't the correct day to disinfect the surface) and peppered with cheerleader statements such as "come on girls let's tackle the mildew monster together".

With every fibre of my body I wanted to rip rota off wall and ram down her opinionated smug throat but instead I knocked on her door and smiled my most benign smile while enquiring after her wellbeing. Cue some confusion on her part when I expressed my concern that she didn't seem happy living in our unstructured environment or able to demonstrate initiative about keeping a home clean. I would not be offended I assured her if she wanted to move back out and then I quickly offered to help her pack and find a new place where she "would be happier with more like minded people".

Remind me never to cross you Katgurl :-)

Deise Vu

Slow jaywalking does it for me. Dey be chillin' minding ther own business. Yo be grinding your teeth and fogging up the windows with the steam coming out your ears. Driving past Mallow Racecourse on Monday I encountered a woman sauntering across the road, walking away from the direction of the traffic because she was too important to walk straight across the road. The speed limit was 100 Kph, but not a bother on the two legged filly. I was that close.........

UCDVet

ViveLaVie wrote: »

When the bus arrives, I walk to the front doors. I think it's a bit dim not to?

It's a bit dim when there are already 20 people standing at the bus stop who have been there before you, and you purposefully go out of your way to position yourself between them and the bus as the bus approaches.

If people were passive, they'd simply form a line. First come, first serve.
If people were aggressive, they'd all push and shove and the biggest/strongest would always get on first.

But this whole passive-aggressive thing where we all pretend we're just 'standing around' and not waiting for a bus with a limited number of seats and then try to weasel our way ahead of the others as the bus approaches.....it's passive-aggressive and I find it to be very childish.

Obviously, this doesn't apply at non-peak times when the bus is going to stop and pick up everyone at the stop.

Brain Stroking

UCDVet wrote: »

It's a bit dim when there are already 20 people standing at the bus stop who have been there before you, and you purposefully go out of your way to position yourself between them and the bus as the bus approaches.

If people were passive, they'd simply form a line. First come, first serve.
If people were aggressive, they'd all push and shove and the biggest/strongest would always get on first.

But this whole passive-aggressive thing where we all pretend we're just 'standing around' and not waiting for a bus with a limited number of seats and then try to weasel our way ahead of the others as the bus approaches.....it's passive-aggressive and I find it to be very childish.

Obviously, this doesn't apply at non-peak times when the bus is going to stop and pick up everyone at the stop.

First World Problems

UCDVet

Brain Stroking wrote: »

First World Problems

Ummm - I hate to break it to you; but virtually every problem anyone in the first world ever has, is a first world problem.

Unless you are upset because your wife just died of starvation, or your child died from an easily preventable/curable disease because you can't afford treatment....odds are, you've got a first world problem.

PopePalpatine

Would very religious people saying "I'll pray for you" when you disagree with them count?

Emeraldy Pebbles

UCDVet wrote: »

It's a bit dim when there are already 20 people standing at the bus stop who have been there before you, and you purposefully go out of your way to position yourself between them and the bus as the bus approaches.

If people were passive, they'd simply form a line. First come, first serve.
If people were aggressive, they'd all push and shove and the biggest/strongest would always get on first.

But this whole passive-aggressive thing where we all pretend we're just 'standing around' and not waiting for a bus with a limited number of seats and then try to weasel our way ahead of the others as the bus approaches.....it's passive-aggressive and I find it to be very childish.

Obviously, this doesn't apply at non-peak times when the bus is going to stop and pick up everyone at the stop.

Guaranteed you've done it yourself at some stage. Never been running late? Look at the Tube at peak times, it's every man for himself.

Kev_2012

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

For me it has to by lmgtfy.com

I just imagine the person going to all the effort of getting a wanky 'let me Google that for you.. now, was that so hard?' link when they could have actually answered the question for the same amount of effort saving people from clicking away from the page. I imagine their smug faces as they think they are so clever doing something that everyone got sick of in 2009.

What passive aggressive tactics in real life or on the internet grind your gears?

I send those lmgtfy links all the time. If somebody is too lazy themselves to search for something, especially if it comes up as the first result. Try being a software engineer or web developer, then you'll see the lazy questions coming in, lmgtfy is a polite way of telling someone to f*** off and stop being so lazy.

El_Dangeroso

Kev_2012 wrote: »

I send those lmgtfy links all the time. If somebody is too lazy themselves to search for something, especially if it comes up as the first result. Try being a software engineer or web developer, then you'll see the lazy questions coming in, lmgtfy is a polite way of telling someone to f*** off and stop being so lazy.

I think you'll find it's a wankery way. A polite way would be to be to simply reply 'google it'. That way you don't have to go to all the wasted effort and you don't waste their time either.

BTW worked in IT for 5 years so no stranger to these types of requests.

UCDVet

Emeraldy Pebbles wrote: »

Guaranteed you've done it yourself at some stage. Never been running late? Look at the Tube at peak times, it's every man for himself.

No, I never have. Maybe that's why I find it so annoying.

The thing is, if it *were* every man for himself, I'd fair better than most. I'm no super star rugby player; but I'm young, healthy, male, and larger than average. What bothers me is that people are taking advantage of the fact most people are reasonable, civil people who aren't going to push them out of the way or call them out when they cut. They even try to do it 'sneaky-like', slowly positioning themselves and moving quickly as the bus approaches.

To be perfectly honest, I'd find it less annoying if someone just walked up to the stop, pushed people out of the way, and stood directly at the curb in front of bus stop sign and waited. They'd still be doing the exact same thing; but they'd then be showing some balls as they do it.

Brain Stroking

UCDVet wrote: »

Ummm - I hate to break it to you; but virtually every problem anyone in the first world ever has, is a first world problem.

Unless you are upset because your wife just died of starvation, or your child died from an easily preventable/curable disease because you can't afford treatment....odds are, you've got a first world problem.

Yes. If you look at my statement literally.

--Kaiser--

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

I think you'll find it's a wankery way. A polite way would be to be to simply reply 'google it'. That way you don't have to go to all the wasted effort and you don't waste their time either.

BTW worked in IT for 5 years so no stranger to these types of requests.

So is aggressive behaviour better than passive aggressive behaviour?

El_Dangeroso

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

So is aggressive behaviour better than passive aggressive behaviour?

Yes, it's more honest. But still not ideal. The ideal is to be assertive without being aggressive.

--Kaiser--

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Yes, it's more honest. But still not ideal. The ideal is to be assertive without being aggressive.

Assertiveness itself requires at least a modicum or hint of aggression. Assertiveness isn't going to solve all problems either

heisenburger

When self righteous residents in the estate I park in for work leave nots on my car telling me to 'STOP parking here', and that 'what you are doing is WRONG!'

Then when ever I bump into anyone that lives up there while getting into my car at 5 they say nothing.
Some people...

Hobbes

1ZRed wrote: »

Have a go at me directly like a normal person so we can move on with it or piss the fvck off! :mad:

The only way to combat PA is to give it no where to go. For your example, the first sly comment made, ask them what they mean by it. Don't let them shrug it off. Then do it again. Ask them point blank to say if it is related to the incident or not. If not then tell them STFU.

PA only works because they try not to give you an opening to attack back. So you ignore it and go straight for the comment.

Kev_2012

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

I think you'll find it's a wankery way. A polite way would be to be to simply reply 'google it'. That way you don't have to go to all the wasted effort and you don't waste their time either.

BTW worked in IT for 5 years so no stranger to these types of requests.

At the beginning, it's nice to be nice, but there are people that continuously come back and just don't ever try to do something themselves. There have been plenty of instances in my job/college where someone asked me how to do something, I went to their computer, Googled it, and the answer was literally the first line in the first result, so I would ask them to Google issues in future before asking me.But no, they still ask because they are lazy!

So I feel that this is a good medium between not being confrontational, sending them the message to Google things before annoying others and also some self satisfaction.:D

Defiler Of The Coffin

People who write 'Cheers' at the end of a message/post in a condescending manner. They should have their entrails ripped out and burned and then be eaten alive by zombiefied rats.

El_Dangeroso

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Assertiveness itself requires at least a modicum or hint of aggression. Assertiveness isn't going to solve all problems either

Does it? I wouldn't think so myself, I'd think assertiveness is the opposite of aggression.

Kev_2012 wrote: »

At the beginning, it's nice to be nice, but there are people that continuously come back and just don't ever try to do something themselves. There have been plenty of instances in my job/college where someone asked me how to do something, I went to their computer, Googled it, and the answer was literally the first line in the first result, so I would ask them to Google issues in future before asking me.But no, they still ask because they are lazy!

So I feel that this is a good medium between not being confrontational, sending them the message to Google things before annoying others and also some self satisfaction.:D

Some people make good livings from the fact that people don't google things though, like almost every person who works in IT support!

--Kaiser--

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Does it? I wouldn't think so myself, I'd think assertiveness is the opposite of aggression.

Not at all. The opposite of being aggressive is being appeasing, simpering, ingratiating. Assertiveness isn't even a neutral point between the two.To be assertive there has to be an element of aggression, that you can stand up for yourself if pushed

El_Dangeroso

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Not at all. The opposite of being aggressive is being appeasing, simpering, ingratiating. Assertiveness isn't even a neutral point between the two.To be assertive there has to be an element of aggression, that you can stand up for yourself if pushed

Standing up for yourself does not mean you have to be aggressive, you can firmly, repeatedly and persistently make your point without displaying one single element of aggression (raising your voice, getting in someone's face, instigating a physical conflict etc.)