Advice please - just rolled over kids kitten.

pawdee

Just killed the kids' new kitten. Should I bury her and pretend she just ran away? Should I tell them the truth? They're 9 and 12. I feel so bad. Don't know what to do.

ShaShaBear

Maybe try and find a very similar looking kitten to replace? Shouldn't be too difficult, most markings are very common.

anniehoo

Tell them the truth, they will be upset though no doubt and probably angry with you for awhile. Let them decide the burial and be involved in it and then if they feel like it in a few weeks look for a new kitten.

It's more painful telling them the truth for you, but it's better than them always wondering if she'll come back.

DBB

pawdee wrote: »

Just killed the kids' new kitten. Should I bury her and pretend she just ran away? Should I tell them the truth? They're 9 and 12. I feel so bad. Don't know what to do.

I think you need to be honest with them. They're old enough. I think telling lies to kids re the death of a pet kinda negates one of the responsibilities of pet ownership: learning how to cope with it's inevitable loss, the circle of life etc. Plus, what if they find out you lied?
And might it backfire horribly when they realise the kitten didn't like his home enough to stick around?
What if they insist on going looking for kitty, or putting up posters?
Sorry for the bluntness, but whilst telling them the truth is hard, it's the right thing to do, especially as they're old enough to know. But don't go into the gories of it.
Good luck... Feel sorry for you too op :-(

If it was me, I would tell the truth, except tell them it was rolled over by a stranger.
They learn about life and death, yet don't blame you for the accident.

SillyMangoX

I'd agree with telling them the cat is dead, but not that you ran over it. The blow of hearing the kitten is dead will be enough hurt for them. Let them be involved with the burial unless the cat is really mangled, if he's rightly flattened I wouldn't let the kids see him, if he just looks like he's sleeping they might like to say goodbye. I know I would hate for my last memories of my cats to be with organs sticking out etc..

tommyombomb

i would not tell them. i had a cat when i was 9 or 10 and my mother drove over it.

I was told she might have ran away as cats have a habit of roaming because they are wild a nature.

got a new cat a few months later when it was obvious she wasnt coming back.

found out a few years ago and i do not have any remorse in relation to it. i personally would protect them and save the hassle/people getting upset.

lorebringer

I would tell them, but leave out the part about you running over the kitten. They are old enough to deal with it - as sad as they will be, it's a better life experience for them.

They could always get another kitten in a week or two (mother loads in rescues!), not as a replacement but as a life lesson that life goes on even when crappy things happen.

Sigma Force

9 & 12 year olds aren't stupid, you need to be honest with them maybe not go in to detail but they will find out one day and it could back fire. Kids are resilient but as said maybe leave out the part about running over the poor thing.

I would not get another one to replace it, kittens should be kept indoors and so should adults cats (or cat proof gardens) so if there's a risk the new one will be wandering outside then it's not worth risking the heart break again.

Ayla

If I were you I would be 100% honest. Admit what happened to the children, acknowledge your mistake, accept their hurt/anger/tears and then help them to grieve as they need to. If/when they decide to get another cat another day then take measures to ensure its safety so that it can't get hurt as well.

For me it comes down to a life lesson: do you want to teach your kids by example how to be honest with loved ones (no matter what the personal cost), or do you want to give them a reason to potentially not trust you in the future (i.e.: when they figure out what really happened)? Being honest isn't easy, but IMO it's always the best policy. Yes they will be upset but anything else is just deceiving them to save your own skin.

dudmis

when i was younger, i had a kitten that I was told ran away. i spent years thinking that i hadn't looked after it enough and it was my fault that it went away. i found out years later that it had been killed by the dog next door. i really wish my parents had told me the truth, or a modified version of it.

k_smash

Honesty is the best policy in situations like this.. Tell them a stranger killed her on the road... Good Luck..

prettyrestless

I agree with the other posters about telling your kids a slightly modified version of what happened. Its not nice, but unfortunately kids have to learn about death sometime

Sigma Force wrote: »

kittens should be kept indoors and so should adults cats (or cat proof gardens)

Off topic but... <snip>.

boomerang

I wouldn't be one for letting a kitten out of doors until they are five or six months old. Kittens have no sense of danger whatsoever. They are so vulnerable.

DBB

prettyrestless wrote: »

I agree with the other posters about telling your kids a slightly modified version of what happened. Its not nice, but unfortunately kids have to learn about death sometime



Off topic but... <snip>

It is indeed an off-topic comment, on a topic that causes ALL threads on the topic to descend into chaos. Should you wish to to start a thread on the topic, by all means go ahead, but this is not the place for it.
Do not reply to this post on-thread.
Thanks,
DBB

Ayla

I thought on this further after my post last night & thought how I always tell my kids that they can tell me anything, as long as it's the truth. They'll never get in as much trouble if they tell me the truth. If I was the OP, you can only imagine if I then told them the cat ran away, or was run over by someone else...

"Kids, just do as I say, not as I do..."

What possible good could it be telling the kids that someone else hit the cat? It's dishonest and cowardly, IMO. Accidents happen, we're all human, but (assuming the OP wasn't driving recklessly) the only mistake they can make now is lying to their children.

JustAThought

Ayla wrote: »

I thought on this further after my post last night & thought how I always tell my kids that they can tell me anything, as long as it's the truth. They'll never get in as much trouble if they tell me the truth. If I was the OP, you can only imagine if I then told them the cat ran away, or was run over by someone else...

"Kids, just do as I say, not as I do..."

What possible good could it be telling the kids that someone else hit the cat? It's dishonest and cowardly, IMO. Accidents happen, we're all human, but (assuming the OP wasn't driving recklessly) the only mistake they can make now is lying to their children.

Im for saving the children extra hurt , anger + distress so they dont have to know it was you that was responsible.
OP - is there a stain though :0 or will you say someone was reversing in your driveway?
Terrible thing to have happened
Hope youte feeling less shook.
At least it was " only" the poor kitten + not a child