It's not me, it's him :(

LegacyUser

Girls I am posting this as anon, it's quite personal so I have chosen not to use my username.

My OH and me have been TTC for 18 months now, we both have had tests done and all along we both suspected it was me. We got our results last Friday, turns out I have got the all clear, ovulating normally, 48 progesterone levels, regular cycle, been vaccinated from Rubella and have had the chicken pox so there is nothing obvious pointing to me.

My other half got his result and has a medium sperm count and medium mobility. We haven't spoken to the doctor about it but not really sure what happens next. He won't talk to me about it, and every time I bring up the subject he changes it.I have looked online and all I can seem to find is low mobility normally requires IUI or IVF.

I have cried the last few nights as I am really upset, but he just ignores it. His usual reply is "well there is nothing we can do". I know he is probably going through a rough time, but I don't know what to do. Can someone please tell me what I am supposed to do? What to say? I want to be there and support him, and I know I am being selfish even saying this, but I feel like our chances of having a family are slowing getting away, my heart is broken. Everyone keeps saying just relax and keep trying. But surely after 18 months, 18 cycles, one of them millions of sperm should have got through.

pwurple

You poor thing.

The thing about men is that even with low count, and low motility, conception chances are still good. And his isn't even low. It's medium. There are things he can try to improve them. Giving up booze, getting in shape, looser undies! That kind of thing, but he probably doesn't need to if his counts are medium. Unfertility for a lot of couples is unexplained. They can come back within normal ranges on all tests and still fail to conceive, blaming each other will be really hurtful.

Have you tried fertility monitors or tracking so far?

There are loads of other things you can do, Napro, IVF, IUI. Talk to the doctor, they will answer your questions on next steps to take.

I know it's really hard, these things can tear a couple apart. Especially unhelpful input like 'relax'.

orchidsrpretty

Do not lose hope OP, Was it only one Sperm test your parnter went for? Was in "on-site" or did he produce the sample at home?
When my partner did it the first time at home, his count and motility was very low. The Dr. suggested he produce another sample in the clinic, and the results were the exact opposite: Very high counts on both.

Its harder to take I think being the guy who has the issues(athough a lot easier to fix).

There are a couple of things your parnter could do: Give up drinking and smoking, excerise, wear loose fitting underwear and don't hold laptops etc for long peroids of time.

Best of luck.


Edit: After the results from the first test, the Dr. explained to us that having low motilty/count is not a major issue in the grand scheme of things. If you are going for IUI the will do something to the sample in the lab which will increase motility and give you both a better chance.

LegacyUser

My doctor told me that if she performed a vasectomy and there was a sperm count of 200 after it she would deem it an unsuccessful vasectomy and advise the man to abstain from unprotected sex. The point is that there are options out there if male fertility is the problem. I can understand him not wanting to talk about it because he probably feels like he has failed somehow but he will come around. You need to just support him because it's not easy to hear that you are the problem. Having said that, medium is better than low and you still have a fantastic chance.

Now is not the time to give up. You've been trying for 18 months but you not have the information you need to move forward with treatment. If anything, you're in a better position now that you have been for 18 months. Best of luck with it.

LegacyUser

I understand your upset, but he is likely to feel bad too even if he doesn't say it. Check out a product called Medela Softcup, especially the reviews online. it,s a weird idea not designed for conception at all, but after reading online reviews (which I thought were too good to be true) I used it and was pregnant in a few months. It's actually designed for menstruation, to collect the blood as it leaves through the cervix. Women using it to conceive pop it in after intercourse for a few hours. it makes sense, it keeps the semen all where you need it to go maximising the chance of one - and one is all you need- going the distance. Best of luck to you, and don,t give up. I'm no fertility expert but if the problem were with you it would be likely much harder to overcome. Get your ovulation strip tests too and get your timing right as best you can.