Tips for getting baby to sleep?

shelly6

My LO is 3 months old.
She can be reasonably good for going to sleep, but the last while she has been looking to be cuddled to sleep, and starting crying the instant she realises she is about to be put down.
How do I get her to settle easier.

edellc

Unfortunately you don't, you can put all the comfort things in the cot you want but she is going to cry either way...so you either research the crying method and go whole hog at it or you cuddle her to sleep and end up like me a 2year old who only goes to sleep with me beside him...thankfully I am a stay at home mammy so its not too much of an issue but I do sometimes wish I hadnt let his dad decide that he didnt want to do the crying method as its not daddy that has to deal with him, going to sleep nor when he wakes up in the middle of the night and cant get himself back to sleep

so theres your choices

best of luck with it and stay strong, believe me it will be worth it in the end

Glowing

I have a 9 week old and she invariably ends up being breastfed to sleep. Would be interested to read the responses here!

I thought btw that 'they' don't recommend controlled crying until about 6 months or am I wrong?

él statutorio

We found swaddling blankets to be brilliant. As soon as our madam was swaddled she knew it was sleep time and went out like a light.

xzanti

White noise and the sound of running water are supposed to be good..

Suucee

My Lo was great until she started teething around that age. When she was struggling 2 go asleep i used to give her a dab of camomile syrup on her soother and give her her lil blankie n put on her cot mobile. I wouldnt put d music on as didnt want her needing music to go asleep in the middle of the night. She now goes asleep the min she's put in the cot. Still use camomile syrup on my finger now as she wont suck soother any more but only really need it when shes teething and struggling to go for a nap.

lounakin

Do you breastfeed? If so just give her a little top-up to get her nice and drowsy and then rock her to sleep? That's what I do when my girl is too awake to fall asleep properly

liliq

I cuddle and nurse my 14 month old to sleep, and have done since the beginning. Just find it easier, to be honest, don't see any reason to leave them get upset or to try and force them to "self- soothe" when I'm here.
A couple of nights this week he has gone to sleep for his Daddy without me there, so definitely isn't necessarily creating a crutch.

Neyite

shelly6 wrote: »

My LO is 3 months old.
She can be reasonably good for going to sleep, but the last while she has been looking to be cuddled to sleep, and starting crying the instant she realises she is about to be put down.
How do I get her to settle easier.

We used to rock our guy, and can be heavy to rock for a long time, so I found a new way that we both do - I lie on my side on our bed and roll him in facing me, also on his side. He likes to hold my finger or my nose /cheek. He gets a soother, and I have a lullaby app on the phone set to a 15 min timer.Its usually semi-dark, but if he protests I have a soft toy that distracts him for a few minutes then roll him onto his side. It sends him right off within the 15 mins of the music nearly always. Once asleep, we transfer him to his cot.

Edited to add: when he is transferred to the cot, we place him on his back to sleep.

shelly6

Thanks for all the suggestions.

LegacyUser

Don't fall into the rocking to sleep habit..well not unless you want a situation where it's you and only you that has to be the one to get them to sleep, and back to sleep if they wake. Makes it very difficult if you need to use a sitter, but most of all, best advice I was given was that having them to self soothe to/back to sleep is a life skill. And when I say self soothe, I don't mean crying, they stir but if it's not time for waking they simply nod back off. We were in similar situation when my youngest was 8 weeks. It took two Eve's of controlled crying. First eve was 20mins, second was ten and we haven't looked back since. She'll go down for anyone that puts her to bed and I could count on one hand times I've had to go in to her during night, and she's 11 months now.

movingsucks

We kinda had a little routine where I'd put her in her sleeping bag and put her back in her bouncy chair and she'd fall asleep and we'd put her in the travel cot in the sitting room and bring her up to her own cot when we were going up. Then that progressed to her falling asleep in chair or my arms and being brought straight up to her cot upstairs - dark and quiet v important. Now she goes straight up into her cot while she's still awake, lights off and a little white noise. She seems to know the bag means bed.
She kinda had a sleep "regression" around the 12 week mark where she was waking every few hours and wailing and trashing like crazy but thankfully that didn't last too long

LegacyUser

intothwest wrote: »

Don't fall into the rocking to sleep habit..well not unless you want a situation where it's you and only you that has to be the one to get them to sleep, and back to sleep if they wake. Makes it very difficult if you need to use a sitter, but most of all, best advice I was given was that having them to self soothe to/back to sleep is a life skill. And when I say self soothe, I don't mean crying, they stir but if it's not time for waking they simply nod back off. We were in similar situation when my youngest was 8 weeks. It took two Eve's of controlled crying. First eve was 20mins, second was ten and we haven't looked back since. She'll go down for anyone that puts her to bed and I could count on one hand times I've had to go in to her during night, and she's 11 months now.

"controlled crying" is just a euphemism for leaving them along crying. It is equivalent of breaking a horse, teaching them that crying will not make mammy or daddy come to comfort. That is why they give up crying. They have learned that calling out for mammy or daddy doesn't work. They sit alone in their cot upset.

It is an abhorrent practice and I am sick of it being mentioned as a technique - it isn't.

lounakin

Jon Carpet wrote: »

"controlled crying" is just a euphemism for leaving them along crying. It is equivalent of breaking a horse, teaching them that crying will not make mammy or daddy come to comfort. That is why they give up crying. They have learned that calling out for mammy or daddy doesn't work. They sit alone in their cot upset.

It is an abhorrent practice and I am sick of it being mentioned as a technique - it isn't.

I do not use this practice myself but there has been a recent study about it. They found that the 'crying it out' technique is not as bad as we think. Children who had been left crying weren't different in any way from others, they weren't subdued, they weren't less self-confident, didn't have more fears or more issues, fell asleep well etc... makes you think twice.
In fairness it makes sense, kids are smart and just because they understand their parents will not come back at night doesn't mean they don't see the support the rest of the time.

liliq

lounakin wrote: »

I do not use this practice myself but there has been a recent study about it. They found that the 'crying it out' technique is not as bad as we think. Children who had been left crying weren't different in any way from others, they weren't subdued, they weren't less self-confident, didn't have more fears or more issues, fell asleep well etc... makes you think twice.
In fairness it makes sense, kids are smart and just because they understand their parents will not come back at night doesn't mean they don't see the support the rest of the time.

I read that study. It was a very poor study that didn't have proper controls. The results essentially said nothing.
There are a host of well designed studies that show leaving a baby to cry is harmful.

Boom_Bap

On my first, we used to cuddle and come running every time he started crying.
This went on for a while and we eventually had to 'break' him. For about 4 nights we put him to bed and left him crying. The crying went on for about 30 minutes each night until he fell asleep. By night 5 he knew that we were not coming to him so he just went asleep by himself.
It was 4 really tough nights for us as you instinct is to go to your child when they are crying. But he has been great at sleeping the 4 years since those 4 nights.

Our second was a different story. From day 1....well maybe day 10 or so, we made sure that she went to sleep without cuddles. 1 and a half years later, she is a great sleeper. Even when she wakes up during the night, we basically tell her to go asleep and she will put her head back on her pillow and drift off.

We also introduced certain routines when it was bed time. We would always turn on a music teddy bear thing for the both of them at bed time, they now know when that sounds it's time to sleep. Similarly, we would read certain books at certain times to them pacing up to bed time. So essentially they are getting signals that they are on the run up to bed time.

So I'm an advocate of the 'tough love' approach, along with gentle brainwashing

McTigs

When our daughter was 4 months she was sleping very erraticly and only taking 5 minute cap naps during the day. We were frazzled from it.

We got a book called "Save Our Sleep" by Tizzie Hall. The jist she recomended (i would advise getting the book for the correct detail) was putting the child down at the same time every night, 7pm. When they cry, if you are happy that they are full and dry, let them cry for 12 minutes, if they have not stopped, go in but to not pick them up but simply comfort them by putting your hand on their forehead and chest, let them get calm and then leave. If they cry again, wait the 12 minutes and repeat.

By the next day after we started this, we no longer had to wait the 12 minutes as she was settling herself sooner and within 4 days she was sleeping through the night and taking good naps during the day. She has slept through the night ever since. Her mood awake also improved dramaticly as she got better rest and so did ours as we were getting sleep ourselves. Listening to her cry was definitely the toughest thing we have had to do as parents and it takes nerves of steel not to buckle but was ultimately most rewarding for all involved.

She is now 28 months, goes to bed happily everynight in pitch dark after a story and if she wakes up at night i certainly don't know about it. She is an extremely happy and confident little girl.

By that book, we recomended it to several people and it worked for everyone.

Mink

I take back whatever I said earlier on in this thread, he's decided that it's meltdown time in the 1/2hr to 1hr before bed/nap time. So I can't even put him down to try these techniques as he's so upset. Might be teething as it only really kicked off in past couple days. He keeps me on my toes

As an aside, I went to PHN the other day for 3 mth check and I mentioned that he does a good 8-11 hours at night and then usually has a few naps of 45 mins during the day. She said ideally he should be having a bigger nap (1-2hrs) mid morning and another mid afternoon and maybe a power nap in the evening. She said 45mins isn't enough for him to get into a deep sleep and really get a good kip and she asked if he gets ratty after being up a while, which he does after an hour or so.

Anyway I said I'd recently started putting him down for his naps in his cot in his room (rather than the carry cot in sitting room or play mat in kitchen) and she said this is good as he'll gradually start napping longer and less frequently and be in good form for longer stretches. Might help?

It really is a nightmare trying to get them down when they are so tired they are cranky and they don't realise that they just need to sleep. I have on occasion misread the signals and he was actually hungry for another bottle and then promptly went asleep after getting full again

Neyite

Mink, my fella naps for 40 mins. And thats in a dark room in his cot. There was once he slept for 1.5hrs on a nap but that was it. I tried staying in the room with lullabye music, stroking hair, rocking, even breastfeeding to coax him back to sleep for about a week of nap times but its just the way he is.

He is 6 months now and been like that since he started his wake/nap pattern. So, take on board what the PHN says, but your baby is an individual so take your cues from the baby and your own instinct first and foremost, otherwise you'll drive yourself demented.

My guy was 40 mins with a wake time of 1.5 hrs in between, which has now stretched to 2 hrs. About 20 mins before he is due a nap he says eh-eh-eh but not crying as such. So we go into the bedroom and have quiet play time on the bed with a soft block (no sounds or lights on the toy) until he starts to get sleepy then I darken the room and start the nap routine I describe above.

Suucee

My lo wil be 7 months next week and for now takes 2 long naps 1 around 11 and 1 around 3. She normally sleeps for 1.5 to 2 hours. This is only a very recent thing in the past week or 2 maybe. Before this she was exactly like that. Sleep for approx 45 mins awake for 1.5 to 2 hours. Shes still gettin roughly tge same amount of sleep but shes more energy for longer now.