At what age is living with your parents a bit weird?

Damie

Madam_X wrote: »

When you say people should be out by 20, end of. When you said "Who said anything about college/jobs?" which are in themselves good reasons for being at home still after 20 (as in, not having employment for a bit after college).

And again, you haven't read the thread. That comment was aimed at hogan1 who was claiming something I'd said about colleges and jobs, which I hadn't. Much like yourself.....anyway

andym1

Its the tight arse gits that pay 25 or 50 or nothing and expect food and clean clothes that should be shown the door. If you work you should be giving 100 at least and buying bits and pieces and doing a wash one night a week and maybe treating them to Sunday lunch occasionaly....(and switch off the immersion ! ! )

stoneill

Can't feckin wait for the blood sucking leeching parasites kids to move out.

Cienciano

Another thing, people talking about getting help from "mammy and daddy" as if it's something to be ashamed of, and they're somehow better because they didn't. They deserve a medal because they never got help from their "mammy and daddy" :rolleyes:
I'd have loved to have rich parents to give me a deposit on a house, or to help me out financially. In fact, everyones parents do help their kids out financially to a degree.

Jumblon

stoneill wrote: »

Can't feckin wait for the blood sucking leeching parasites kids to move out.

Why did you have them in the first place?

Damie

Madam_X wrote: »

I'm reading the thread, whereas you're saying everyone should move out by 20, end of - over and over, and thus ignoring the valid reasons for this to be not always possible. And getting angry and personal with people who dispute what you say and actually back themselves up.

But fine, send a kid out - don't let them finish their education, kick them out even if they are on the dole because it's not easy to get work these days.

Eh, seriously, what are you on about....Angry, Personal? If you take the time to read through the thread you'll notice that it was personal abuse that was aimed at me.

To be clear-Thread title:
At what age is living with your parents a bit weird?

My view is that 18-20, get out and sort yourself out. Argue what you like, thats my view.

No personal abuse and it takes a lot more to get angry about. Enjoy your evening.

Damie

Ok,I'm getting tired but

I am not ignoring anything, you can come up with all the excuses you like. That's great. Make the case, thats fine. Make yourself feel better, no problem.

Still, 18-20, get out and etc etc.... I'm sure you get my point at this stage, if not, pffff

Damie

Damie wrote: »

My view is that 18-20, get out and sort yourself out. Argue what you like, thats my view.

Whats this sort yourself out, whats to sort out. Moving out should be something you do when you either have to because your work takes you too far away or when you genuinely want to which is a different age for everyone. But thinking people should move out just for the sake of it which is more or less what your suggesting is nonsense imo.

Wasting money on rent, living in a place far inferior to your home sharing with stranger rather than having the comfort of living with family (I've been sharing for 4 years and never really got used it yet), cheaper cost of living in general etc etc.

I am not saying people should live at home for good but they should move out when they feel like it themselves be it 18 or 28.

Damie

I accept your view, as nonsense...but its your view, and I have mine...imagine that, differing views, whats next!

wow sierra

There isn't anything wrong with living in the same house as your parents.

But if someone in their 20's never have to cook dinner, do the shopping, change their sheets or lightbulbs, pay the Sky bill, cut the grass etc etc etc - then you have a serious problem. They are basically children...

dark crystal

Jaiden Flaky Ash wrote: »

I don't know what sort of parents some people have if they are happy to see their children gone.

Well, I'm quite looking forward to it, actually. I'd be delighted knowing my children were happy and independent in their own places and finally having some time just for myself, maybe travel which is something I haven't ever really been able to do whilst providing for and bringing up the kids.

I'll always be there for my children - they mean the world to me - but I would hope part of my job as a parent is to bring them up to be responsible, independent adults, ready to stand on their own two feet and start their adult lives away from the bosom of the family home. Does this make me a bad mother?

By the way, I have no problem whatsoever with adults living with their parents whilst still in college. It's when they start working and earning their own way in life that I would be encouraging them to spread their wings.

Damie

Madam_X wrote: »

Of course I do - and it's illogical because you're ignoring the good points people are making that people sometimes can't at 20. Fair enough to say move out when you've finished college and got a job - I'd agree with that - but it's often later than 20. Yes you are ignoring that. No I'm not making an excuse or trying to feel better - that's bullsh1t; you are being deliberately obtuse by implying a person in the middle of a degree or on the dole should just... move out at 20.

Ok, you're trying to wind me up, why else would you constantly repeat yourself despite me explaining my view, twice...pffffff....keep making your excuses!

dark crystal

dark crystal wrote: »

Well, I'm quite looking forward to it, actually. I'd be delighted knowing my children were happy and independent in their own places and finally having some time just for myself, maybe travel which is something I haven't ever really been able to do whilst providing for and bringing up the kids.

I'll always be there for my children - they mean the world to me - but I would hope part of my job as a parent is to bring them up to be responsible, independent adults, ready to stand on their own two feet and start their adult lives away from the bosom of the family home. Does this make me a bad mother?

By the way, I have no problem whatsoever with adults living with their parents whilst still in college. It's when they start working and earning their own way in life that I would be encouraging them to spread their wings.

No there is nothing wrong with what your saying at all. My point was directed at the people suggesting that parents want their children gone the second they turn 18.

Jumpaddict

Madam_X wrote: »

Well by that logic you're also on a wind-up when you keep on insisting on something even though you've been proven wrong.

Proven wrong? How can you prove my opinion wrong? Its my opinion.....

seriously, I've absolutely no idea what you are on about, I think you are getting threads mixed up

Daveysil15

Ohh great, another living at home thread. How many is that now? Move out when you're good and ready - simple as that!

Damie

Madam_X wrote: »

Why the new account? Your "opinion" (which it's not, because it's not subjective).

Multiple devices, different accounts, no biggie

So,I can't have an opinion now?

Lol, you're funny

Big Bottom

People really should have moved out by the time they are 25. Anything over that is weird.
I wouldnt go near a guy who is still at home with his mammy.

If a guy cant fend for himself by then his mammy is welcome to keep him!

Big Bottom

Big Bottom wrote: »

People really should have moved out by the time they are 25. Anything over that is weird.
I wouldnt go near a guy who is still at home with his mammy.

If a guy cant fend for himself by then his mammy is welcome to keep him!

Why does someone living at home mean they can't fend for themselves, what does fending for yourself even mean we are not wild animals in the wild hunting for food. Some people really do have strange ideas.

Big Bottom

Im just saying that if a guy is still at home and he is over 25 there is no way I would go out with him.

I like real men thanks!

MaxSteele

MaxSteele wrote: »

My uncle lived with his parents until he was 34/35. Saved up his money from working in the family business, allowed my grandfather retire, yet still pays him to this day a wage and took over the family business.

In the space of five years, he went from living in one room in his parents house ...

to building a massive house cum family grocer business next door, with four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a huge kitchen and gigantic 20 x 30 living room with a games room and a brand spanking new GTI Golf.

Oh and he got married and had two kids in between.

And there was the rest of us calling him a mammy's boy eh ? :cool:

His parents were mugs.

Big Bottom

Big Bottom wrote: »

Im just saying that if a guy is still at home and he is over 25 there is no way I would go out with him.

I like real men thanks!

Why does that make a person not a real man? Really it just sounds crazy that because someone is still living at home for whatever reason they are not a real man.

Plenty of people wait until they are buying or building their own place to move out for instance I don't see why this sort of thing is an issue for people. Like I know people who work near home, have a site in the field beside their home and are just waiting until the right time to start building, what on earth is the point in moving out and wasting money on rent in a situation like that.

cuana

Big Bottom wrote: »

Im just saying that if a guy is still at home and he is over 25 there is no way I would go out with him.

I like real men thanks!

Judgmental, misguided shortsighted are a few of the words that spring to mind! this is exactly why some women are bloody miserable & I might add usually single

Honey-ec

I'm 30 and living at home, break out the tar & feathers...

Moved out at 23 when I bought a house with my sister. Moved in with the boyfriend who would become my husband at 24. Marriage ended last year and I moved back in with my parents, and am still here while I try and navigate the financial and legal hellhole that is a marriage break-up.

Scanlas The 2nd

My great uncle lived with his mother until she died in her 80's. He was in his 60's. A died 8 years later. He was a seriously fukced up alcoholic. Nice guy, it was hard not to feel sorry for him, he literally drank whiskey all day everyday. Really sad.

gustafo

Big Bottom wrote: »

Im just saying that if a guy is still at home and he is over 25 there is no way I would go out with him.

I like real men thanks!

God help the poor bloke who will get stuck with you!!

cuana

gustafo wrote: »

God help the poor bloke who will get stuck with you!!

Well all those men living at home with there mammies had a lucky escape me thinks!

Daveysil15

Big Bottom wrote: »

Im just saying that if a guy is still at home and he is over 25 there is no way I would go out with him.

I like real men thanks!

Can a real man not save up and buy his own house? Also why is 25 the magic number? Does that mean a 23 year old man living at home is a real man, but a 26 year old isn't?

m0ynihan

About 9, that's the age Jimmy Saville let me live with him...

Scruffles

it doesnt matter what we or anyone else thinks of someone elses circumstances, as long as the person who lives at home is contributing to their parents household,via cleaning etc then why worry? the only peoples opinion that matters here shoud be the parents as its their house and if they want to have space or quiet their decision shoud be respected, but if they are perfectly fine with and choose to have their adult children stay with them then that shoud also be respected.

moraly speaking,adults shoud make sure to be as independant as possible if they live at home as it will probably come as a big shock when they do get their own place,itd probably help them to have as much a seperate life as possible to because they will be so used to being in a bigger group.

a particular group which commonly lives with their parents until they are very elderly,due to being truly unable to support themselves is learning/developmentaly disabled people, in ireland there are so few choices available to live away from them.
its ridiculous that an uncle of mine is still living in an oldskool institution up north and never leaves the place [he has PMLD] and two cousins of mine down south in dub are unable to get services for their level of needs.

had personaly been moved out at nineteen by social services into a learning disility institution and have met many other service users who were at home and spoilt like crazy until twenties and older; they have a mentality that they dont have to do anything for themselves and that support staff are slaves for them,some are so lazy that they will
attack staff for asking them to do something like picking their underpants off the floor, and if staff dont jump when they say so they get bashed.

although there are also neurotypical people who do have a lazy pseudo dependant mentality conditioned into them,its impossible to unprogram it from individuals who are still constantly seen as babies and treated as such by their parents,they undo everything they have learnt and make it harder for staff to work with them and fellow service users to live with them safely.

for one lad,enabling his lazyness so much ended up giving him infantilism.

Mocha Joe

What about people living at home because they are working and their parents need the money they bring in? Still usually get a few snide comments. People who got grants and rent allowance to go to college can be quite up themselves about how independent they are. Until they have to start working.

Honey-ec

Mocha Joe wrote: »

People who got grants and rent allowance to go to college can be quite up themselves about how independent they are. Until they have to start working.

Or, you know, people who live in Dublin/Cork/Limerick etc. and went to college in Dublin/Cork/Limerick etc. Sad bastids for not moving out, aren't they?

Mocha Joe

Honey-ec wrote: »

Or, you know, people who live in Dublin/Cork/Limerick etc. and went to college in Dublin/Cork/Limerick etc. Sad bastids for not moving out, aren't they?

Nope. Don't know if you're accusing me of saying that or not. Anyway I didn't say that and am not sure what your point is.

Honey-ec

Mocha Joe wrote: »

Nope. Don't know if you're accusing me of saying that or not. Anyway I didn't say that and am not sure what your point is.

Whoosh.

I was agreeing with you.

Defiler Of The Coffin

Mocha Joe wrote: »

Nope. Don't know if you're accusing me of saying that or not. Anyway I didn't say that and am not sure what your point is.

She was agreeing with you... I think

Edit: Indeed she was

PickledLime

Big Bottom wrote: »

Im just saying that if a guy is still at home and he is over 25 there is no way I would go out with him.

I like real men thanks!

What about a guy doing right by his parents if they were ill and sacrificing all the joys of living away and looking after them, basically putting their own life on hold to care for them? Are they not more of a 'real man' than someone who lives away and shirks their familial responsibilities?

I'm also curious - if you were dating a guy who was fantastic, 24 and living at home, would you ditch him on his 25th if he didn't have his own place?

Mocha Joe

Honey-ec wrote: »

Whoosh.

I was agreeing with you.

My bad. I'm still not sure how though.

scoob70

I think the real issue here is 'are they taking the piss' still living at home - if thats the case (and I've known a few) then yes it is bloody wrong. But def there is nothing wrong with it if all parties are happy with the arrangement to continue. I left home at 20, went back for a year at 24 and went back again for a year (with husband in tow) at 38 so we could both take a different direction in life with regards to work and location. If I couldn't have gone home I would of been in a very different situation now - unfulfilled, unhappy, still living in the same ****ty location. Thanks mum n dad

Defiler Of The Coffin

I've living away from the home house now for a number of years but if I ever did decide to move back I know my parents wouldn't mind at all, they'd be happy about it in fact. As long as all parties are happy with the arrangement then what's the problem?

Still, best to be out by your late thirties I would say.

Big Bottom

If a guy was staying at home to look after sick parents I would have a lot of respect for him.

If he was just happy to be living at home with his Mammy the alarm bells would be going off in my head!

Guys who are used to a very handy number at home do not make good lover!
And I speak from experience!

Mocha Joe

Big Bottom wrote: »

Guys who are used to a very handy number at home do not make good lover!
And I speak from experience!

Try dressing and looking like his mammy as much as you can. He'll be going like the clappers.

cuana

Big Bottom wrote: »

If a guy was staying at home to look after sick parents I would have a lot of respect for him.

If he was just happy to be living at home with his Mammy the alarm bells would be going off in my head!

Guys who are used to a very handy number at home do not make good lover!
And I speak from experience!

I'm confused

Firstly you said you'd never date a man over 25 that still lived at home with his parents yet now you say you have?

Based on some experience you have decided that all males over the a certain age that still live at home with there parents make poor lovers... hmmmm I think your under the impression that all men living at home are mothered, lack Independence and or are lazy which IMO is far from the truth

Big Bottom

A guy living at home is just not attractive to me, Im sorry if that upsets you.

steve9859

cuana wrote: »

Based on some experience you have decided that all males over the a certain age that still live at home with there parents make poor lovers... hmmmm I think your under the impression that all men living at home are mothered, lack Independence and or are lazy which IMO is far from the truth

25 is too young to draw that line....for example medics etc could still be studying a while longer. But over 30 and I think that assumption is probably spot on. If you've gone back home for a short while for some reason, that's different, but in the case of a man or woman is 30+ and never tried to leave, my experience is that they are mothered, lack independence, and are lazy.

I certainly would not date a woman in that situation

Mocha Joe

Big Bottom wrote: »

A guy living at home is just not attractive to me, Im sorry if that upsets you.

How would you know the reasons for someone living at home if you're just going to make that instant judgement?

Tom_Cruise

Most younger people rely on someone else in one way or another. Its only when they are working or have completed college that they earn enough to break away and be independent.

95% of the students in my college course are only there because of the student grant and all the mature students are only there because they get back to education and rent allowance, wouldn't it be better for them to live at home instead of costing the tax payer 13k a year?

Theres nothing wrong with living at home if need be, and the end of the day its only a house and place to live.

If you look deeply at most peoples pasts they aren't these 'independent since i was 15' type of people. Some where along the way they relied on others.

All the girls i went to school with or knew growing up that had children have large 2-3 bed houses - even though the majority of them are not or have not ever worked! So is the solution to get a girl pregnant and get a house of the social welfare - wouldn't that be the easy option?

Everyone's different. You have rich people and poor people, people who are happy at home and people whos family s are happy to allow them to stay at home.

confuseddotcom

I think living at home after say 35/36 wouldn't beeee a very healthy situation to be in, but obviously the current sh1te recession could send that notion/aim straight out the window, but definitely between say 20 - 35 you would need to at least once, live independently out on your own for a while at some point between that phase.

cuana

steve9859 wrote: »

25 is too young to draw that line....for example medics etc could still be studying a while longer. But over 30 and I think that assumption is probably spot on. If you've gone back home for a short while for some reason, that's different, but in the case of a man or woman is 30+ and never tried to leave, my experience is that they are mothered, lack independence, and are lazy.

I certainly would not date a woman in that situation

You do make a good point and it does happen but I think the other poster admits to closing herself off completely to people for living at home is premature. I think its important to not to be closed off regarding someone circumstances based solely on this, giving someone the opportunity to make an impression either good or bad is important otherwise you'll just never know!

dark crystal

Big Bottom wrote: »

A guy living at home is just not attractive to me, Im sorry if that upsets you.

This is a pretty common opinion amongst most people I know too. For some reason, there's a higher proportion of people on here who find this opinion unusual or hard to understand.

Most people I know would value independence as an important pre-requisite in a potential partner. Saying that, my current partner was still living at home when I met him at 24, because rent was extortionately high where he lived in the UK and by the time we met, he was only raring to move out! It did make me think twice about dating him when he told me he was still at home, but I'm glad I did

Hippies!

juan.kerr wrote: »

:rolleyes: So 18 year old school children should be thrown out by their parents...

Obviously not :rolleyes:

I said it is inappropriate beyond 17 :rolleyes:

Obviously if they're still there at 18 then there's no chance such a person would manage by themselves :rolleyes:

Best leave them at home with mammy and daddy :rolleyes:

Honey-ec

Hippies! wrote: »

Obviously not :rolleyes:

I said it is inappropriate beyond 17 :rolleyes:

Obviously if they're still there at 18 then there's no chance such a person would manage by themselves :rolleyes:

Best leave them at home with mammy and daddy :rolleyes:

Oh, well now that you've broken out the :rolleyes: they'll/we'll all be shamed into moving out...

:rolleyes: