At what age is living with your parents a bit weird?

Hippies!

Honey-ec wrote: »

Oh, well now that you've broken out the :rolleyes: they'll/we'll all be shamed into moving out...

:rolleyes:

If that doesn't work chase them out with this :pac:

cuana

Big Bottom wrote: »

A guy living at home is just not attractive to me, Im sorry if that upsets you.

It is your personal choice but just don't close yourself off completely. I would encourage everyone one to move out at some point when they can. I've been living away from home since I was 17 I moved home briefly at 27 the drama!! there were tears and tantrums!! My mammy being a mammy... wouldn't let me leave without breakfast in the morning, would ring in the evening wondering where I was the dinner was on, ranting about the excessive hours in work etc ... I knew I needed to move out two months later when I arrived home and was disappointed that there was no dinner ready for me!!

Hippies!

Madam_X wrote: »

Of course it's not "inappropriate" at 18 if they're doing the leaving cert/repeating at 19; then in college/working part-time until their early 20s when they finish college/get a job. Provocative comment for the sake of it no doubt.

Au contraire mon soeur, as I said earlier if anyone bothers to read a thread these days, there's no reason for anyone to be in school beyond 17, being 18 and in school is pure weird to me like So then there in college and moved out surely? What's the big ruckus about?

Honey-ec

Hippies! wrote: »

Au contraire mon soeur, as I said earlier if anyone bothers to read a thread these days, there's no reason for anyone to be in school beyond 17, being 18 and in school is pure weird to me like So then there in college and moved out surely? What's the big ruckus about?

So you live in Dublin and go to UCD. Why in God's name would you move out???

And it's ma soeur and they're, btw...

You *did* say you went to college, right?

Hippies!

Honey-ec wrote: »

So you live in Dublin and go to UCD. Why in God's name would you move out???

For the craic

Honey-ec wrote: »

And it's ma soeur and they're, btw...

Google translate says otherwise

Honey-ec wrote: »

You *did* say you went to college, right?

I've dyslexia :mad:



I don't really :pac:

Lenin Skynard

Tom_Cruise wrote: »

95% of the students in my college course are only there because of the student grant and all the mature students are only there because they get back to education and rent allowance, wouldn't it be better for them to live at home instead of costing the tax payer 13k a year?

95% of students in your college are only there for the grant? What college is this? Also, being in full-time education makes a person ineligible for rent allowance.

PictureFrame

It's ma soeur..

Mon is masculine.. Why on earth would you use a masculine possessive pronoun to describe a female person?

Google Translate and yourself are wrong actually.

Squidgy Black

My next door neighbour moved back in with his parents about 5 years ago when his wife divorced him, he's in his late forties now and personally I think it's ridiculous. He has full time employment and his ma's still washing his clothes.

Honey-ec

stetyrrell wrote: »

My next door neighbour moved back in with his parents about 5 years ago when his wife divorced him, he's in his late forties now and personally I think it's ridiculous. He has full time employment and his ma's still washing his clothes.

He should be washing his own clothes, but given the legal system in this country it's extremely possible that the divorce has been financially prohibitive to him and he doesn't have any other option. Do you honestly think he wants to be living there at that age?

Pherekydes

PictureFrame wrote: »

Google Translate and yourself are wrong actually.

Google translate gives ma soeur. He's wrong and he can't even use GT properly.

PictureFrame

Pherekydes wrote: »

Google translate gives ma soeur. He's wrong and he can't even use GT properly.

I was thinking that even Google Translate wouldn't make errors with something as simplistic as pronoun prepositions.. :pac:

Hippies!

PictureFrame wrote: »

It's ma soeur..

Mon is masculine.. Why on earth would you use a masculine possessive pronoun to describe a female person?

Google Translate and yourself are wrong actually.

Oh yea I had it as mon first and then I said to myself I said you know why on earth would I use a masculine possessive pronoun to a describe a female person. I better change that lest I look silly but I eh forgot to change it and it like was posted like that so then when it was brought to my attention first I didn't read the two because I was certain I had changed it but I later reviewed the situation and ya it would appear that I did in fact get it wrong. However I think we've quite conclusively put the matter to bed...that is of course until someone else comes along and says the exact the same so yeah, I'll just copy what I've typed ready for an ol' paste job.

Paddy Cow

I moved out of my little village to the big city (Galway) for college at age 18. Went into digs to start with as it was the first thing I got and lasted a total of six weeks before moving in with friends. The landlady was nice, too nice to the point where it was suffocating. She had three kids and did everything for them. One was only a couple of years older than me and in NUIG so it made sense or him to be at home. The other two were 26 and 28 and were spoiled, pampered brats.

This woman worked a full time job then came home and cooked dinner for everyone. It was always starter and main course at the table. We would then retire to the sitting room and after she had cleaned up she would bring us tea and apple pie. I remember the daughter (the 28 yr old) going mad one evening because she wanted to go out and her mother hadn't ironed her top. My mother would've laughed in my face if I expected her to be ironing my tops at 18 never mind 28.

It's hard to judge the mother and her kids though. She liked taking care of people and they were happy to have her run around after them, so I guess that set up worked for them. I like my independance and I'm glad I'm from a rural area where I pretty much had no option but to go further afield when I left school. I know we all have different circumstances but I find that a lot of city kids live at home a lot longer simply because it's more convenient. They say they can't afford to move out but you'd be surprised at how resourceful you can be when you need to. I worked with one girl who was on the same wage as me, living at home paying nothing and she would always complain about being broke. We were getting €375 take home pay, which is a lot of money if you have no rent or bills but she had no perspective.

Sorry for the long post but I suppose it depends on circumstance. I think it's important for people to learn to be self reliant and moving out is a huge learning curve. You have to learn how to deal with budgeting/landlords/flatmates/undesireable neighbours etc. I get that some people are more independent than others and not ready to move out in their 20's but I will admit that I'm in my 30's now and if I met a 30+ year old guy who had never lived away from home (unless it was because he was was a carer to a family member) it would make alarm bells ring.

PictureFrame

Hippies! wrote: »

Oh yea I had it as mon first and then I said to myself I said you know why on earth would I use a masculine possessive pronoun to a describe a female person. I better change that lest I look silly but I eh forgot to change it and it like was posted like that so then when it was brought to my attention first I didn't read the two because I was certain I had changed it but I later reviewed the situation and ya it would appear that I did in fact get it wrong. However I think we've quite conclusively put the matter to bed...that is of course until someone else comes along and says the exact the same so yeah, I'll just copy what I've typed ready for an ol' paste job.

Finding it really difficult to comprehend that ^^

You never actually said you got it wrong though, you said:

"Google Translate says otherwise"..

Hippies!

PictureFrame wrote: »

Finding it really difficult to comprehend that ^^

You never actually said you got it wrong though, you said:

"Google Translate says otherwise"..

Yup because as I say I didn't give it 100% of my attention when it was first brought to my attention because I was sure I had corrected the error, I had consulted Google Translate which of course said ma but I continued to use mon, and even I think I used it twice such is my disinterest in this thread and the anal repetitiveness of some posters. Like AH isn't the only thing I'm doing tonight, I've other grown up things to be thinking about other than ma or mon.


The thing was actually meant to be just a play on delboy but it went drastically wrong really because the poster I was replying to was female so I couldn't leave it as mon like it is in the series. Perhaps I was imagining the scene so vividly where del says it that I proceeded to type mon twice.


You know in a way that means I'm probably quite smart, kinda like an absent minded scientist and stuff...anyway, I'm sure we've put the situation to bed this time?

PictureFrame

Yes of course, I wasn't arguing on the topic of your intellect at all, just correcting French Pronoun Prepositions is sort of a hobby of mine.. :pac:

Honey-ec

Hippies! wrote: »

Yup because as I say I didn't give it 100% of my attention when it was first brought to my attention because I was sure I had corrected the error, I had consulted Google Translate which of course said ma but I continued to use mon, and even I think I used it twice such is my disinterest in this thread and the anal repetitiveness of some posters. Like AH isn't the only thing I'm doing tonight, I've other grown up things to be thinking about other than ma or mon.


The thing was actually meant to be just a play on delboy but it went drastically wrong really because the poster I was replying to was female so I couldn't leave it as mon like it is in the series. Perhaps I was imagining the scene so vividly where del says it that I proceeded to type mon twice.


You know in a way that means I'm probably quite smart, kinda like an absent minded scientist and stuff...anyway, I'm sure we've put the situation to bed this time?

Oh fcuk off...

Hippies!

Honey-ec wrote: »

Oh fcuk off...

Cranky? :P

Ladyblackadder

A general consensus among fellow parents and friends is that they should be gone by 30 and the general finding is that they are usually well gone by then. If you want them gone sooner, a good font up the rear out the front door should work but its different for each family and what suits one might not suit another.
I think the age at which the young fly the nest can depend on what age the parents did the same. Personally, I have nothing to go on as I was still living at home at 20 when my mother passed away. My father had already passed on a few years earlier so I had stayed at home and my brother had returned home to be with our mother and support her through her cancer.
Now that my eldest son is the same age (20) I prefer to have him at home while he is at college as it is cheaper for all concerned. There are few part time jobs out there these days so his father and I have to support him. I will be happy to continue to support him and his siblings until they finish college and find full time employment. I think this could be partly because I had no such support and prefer my children to have an easier time of it than I did. As it is, they will probably have to work until they are 75, or even older, before they can retire.
Add to that the fact that I really enjoy the company of my almost grown up children and I will put off the empty nest for as long as I can. I may be ready to boot them out well before my youngest turns 30 but I reckon they will all be off living their own lives by then. They would always be welcomed home though.

LoonyLovegood

Madam_X wrote: »

It's not always necessary or affordable to move away for college. If you're from Finglas and the course you want to do is in DCU, it would be a bit Darwin award worthy to go to UCC to do it.

I should have one of those awards then, I moved to Galway to do a course that I could have done in Dublin. Wanted to move out and try to live alone.

I'm lucky that my parents support me (give me food money, etc), but I hate the handouts. Searching for jobs at the moment. If I get one, I won't be taking a cent from mam or dad anymore. It's not fair on them, and I'd rather be supporting myself than relying on handouts.

TeaAndCake

Whenever they gain stable, full-time employment and have achieved whatever academic accomplishments they wanted to.

For instance, someone who only wants to get their undergraduate degree and then get a job will generally graduate at about age 20-21, sometimes 22. They should be in a graduate programme or into work shortly afterward and as soon as they attain a stable position, they should be moving out and supporting themselves.

However, if someone wants to be an academic, then it's perfectly acceptable for them to stay home until they have their PHD done and are moving on to post-doctoral work as the potential to earn during the process to that point is very limited.

It's extremely cringeworthy to see fully employed people in the mid-twenties+, getting a full salary, living at home, having the mother cook them dinner and do the washing and going out and spending their income on nights out and flashing cash while everyone else is supporting themselves.

Amprodude

TeaAndCake wrote: »

It's extremely cringeworthy to see fully employed people in the mid-twenties+, getting a full salary, living at home,.

What's so cringeworthy about it may I ask?
Everyone's circumstances are different.

Paedo_Hater

In my opinion, anyone living with their parents after 21 years of age is a weirdo. Obviously, there are exceptions, such as disabled people, but any able-bodied individual who chooses to live with their parents after 21 years of age (at the very latest) is a weirdo... in my opinion.

flutterflye

Why is it that a lot of the people who stayed at home longer than the norm seem to be extremely defensive about it?
Most are saying there's nothing wrong with it for such and such a reason - well if you truly believed that you wouldn't be so defensive imo.
Not aimed at anyone in particular - just a general observation from this thread.

Lenin Skynard

flutterflye wrote: »

Why is it that a lot of the people who stayed at home longer than the norm seem to be extremely defensive about it?
Most are saying there's nothing wrong with it for such and such a reason - well if you truly believed that you wouldn't be so defensive imo.
Not aimed at anyone in particular - just a general observation from this thread.

Well I didn't move out after any longer than "the norm" and I always regretted not staying at home longer so I'd have to disagree with you. There's a lot to be said for being around your family in the family homeplace. Not that people should stay around in their thirties but I honestly think the stigma is unnecessary and unfair to those who are socially/economically better off by staying with their family longer than 18/21.

Paedo_Hater

flutterflye wrote: »

Why is it that a lot of the people who stayed at home longer than the norm seem to be extremely defensive about it?
Most are saying there's nothing wrong with it for such and such a reason - well if you truly believed that you wouldn't be so defensive imo.
Not aimed at anyone in particular - just a general observation from this thread.

I believe it isn't 'normal' to want to live with your parents after 17 years of age... and anyone clinging onto their mother's apron strings after 21 years of age, I honestly believe, should seek medical attention. This isn't a snide dig at them, it really is my honest opinion. I honestly believe it's unnatural and a sign of possible mental health issues.

Madam_X

flutterflye wrote: »

Why is it that a lot of the people who stayed at home longer than the norm seem to be extremely defensive about it?
Most are saying there's nothing wrong with it for such and such a reason - well if you truly believed that you wouldn't be so defensive imo.
Not aimed at anyone in particular - just a general observation from this thread.

Ah come on. People aren't always defensive because of a protesting too much thing - there are dickish attitudes on this thread, that is why there is defensiveness. Nobody has a problem with someone saying "As soon as they're finished college and working, no hanging about" but look at all the really unpleasant other posts, like you're a weirdo if you're still at home at 21 despite all the good reasons why someone would be.

Speculation based on nothing other than a "feeling" is not an opinion btw.

Paedo_Hater

Madam_X wrote: »

Ah come on. People aren't always defensive because of a protesting too much thing - there are dickish attitudes on this thread, that is why there is defensiveness. Nobody has a problem with someone saying "As soon as they're finished college and working, no hanging about" but look at all the really unpleasant other posts, like you're a weirdo if you're still at home at 21 despite all the good reasons why someone would be.

I said it was my opinion... I'm entitled to my opinion, and because it's an opinion, it can't be right or wrong, merely my opinion

flutterflye

Lenin Skynard wrote: »

Well I didn't move out after any longer than "the norm" and I always regretted not staying at home longer so I'd have to disagree with you. There's a lot to be said for being around your family in the family homeplace. Not that people should stay around in their thirties but I honestly think the stigma is unnecessary and unfair to those who are socially/economically better off by staying with their family longer than 18/21.

Now I'm quite tired right now, but I've read your post 3 times and I haven't a notion of what you are talking about tbh
What is it that you disagree with me about?
All I said was that people in this thread who stayed at home longer than the norm seem defensive in their comments

flutterflye

Madam_X wrote: »

Ah come on. People aren't always defensive because of a protesting too much thing - there are dickish attitudes on this thread, that is why there is defensiveness. Nobody has a problem with someone saying "As soon as they're finished college and working, no hanging about" but look at all the really unpleasant other posts, like you're a weirdo if you're still at home at 21 despite all the good reasons why someone would be.

Speculation based on nothing other than a "feeling" is not an opinion btw.

Ah yeah, I totally get that - if someone is implying you're a weirdo or pathetic etc... of course you'd be defensive.
But there are people all over the shop becoming defensive with loads of posters who aren't saying or implying that.
Anyway - doesn't really matter - just something I thought a bit strange.

Edit: What's that about speculation? I'm finding things hard to follow here! Think I need my bed! I didn't think I said anything about opinions :?

Madam_X

Paedo_Hater wrote: »

I said it was my opinion... I'm entitled to my opinion, and because it's an opinion, it can't be right or wrong, merely my opinion

But going by your above posts you don't know what an opinion is - speculation based on an unsubstantiated retarded notion is not an opinion. E.g. if you're at home at 21 because of being in college, you're not a weirdo or in need of medical help. So yep, you're wrong.

Fair play though, you're starting to come around - it was 20 earlier, but 21 now.

Lenin Skynard

flutterflye wrote: »

Now I'm quite tired right now, but I've read your post 3 times and I haven't a notion of what you are talking about tbh
What is it that you disagree with me about?
All I said was that people in this thread who stayed at home longer than the norm seem defensive in their comments

I haven't read the whole thread tbh so I can't disagree with you about how posters seem. I think that if they're defensive it's justified because people are calling others weirdos and mentally ill for staying at home, when staying at home is actually a good thing a lot of the time and shouldn't be stigmatised.

gustafo

TeaAndCake wrote: »

Whenever they gain stable, full-time employment and have achieved whatever academic accomplishments they wanted to.

For instance, someone who only wants to get their undergraduate degree and then get a job will generally graduate at about age 20-21, sometimes 22. They should be in a graduate programme or into work shortly afterward and as soon as they attain a stable position, they should be moving out and supporting themselves.

However, if someone wants to be an academic, then it's perfectly acceptable for them to stay home until they have their PHD done and are moving on to post-doctoral work as the potential to earn during the process to that point is very limited.

It's extremely cringeworthy to see fully employed people in the mid-twenties+, getting a full salary, living at home, having the mother cook them dinner and do the washing and going out and spending their income on nights out and flashing cash while everyone else is supporting themselves.

what a load of horse dung

DEFTLEFTHAND

It all comes down to circumstances, I don't get how its somehow weird if you don't move out by a certain point. I went to college in Dublin and still came back home at holidays etc. Since I graduated and qualified I've been working with my Dad and living in a house that I rent in the same town. I still spend time over at my folks, We're very close as a family and I like to hang with my parents.

Paedo_Hater

Madam_X wrote: »

But going by your above posts you don't know what an opinion is - speculation based on an unsubstantiated retarded notion is not an opinion. E.g. if you're at home at 21 because of being in college, you're not a weirdo or in need of medical help. So yep, you're wrong.

Fair play though, you're starting to come around - it was 20 earlier, but 21 now.

Here you go....

---

o·pin·ion/əˈpinyən/

Noun:

• A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

---

And where did I mention 20 years of age?

flutterflye

Lenin Skynard wrote: »

I haven't read the whole thread tbh so I can't disagree with you about how posters seem. I think that if they're defensive it's justified because people are calling others weirdos and mentally ill for staying at home, when staying at home is actually a good thing a lot of the time and shouldn't be stigmatised.

But you said you disagree with me!

Lenin Skynard

flutterflye wrote: »

But you said you disagree with me!

Meh. Read it a fourth time.

Paedo_Hater

Lenin Skynard wrote: »

Meh. Read it a fourth time.

Putting it in context with the rest of your post, it looks like you're disagreeing with him/her, but there appears to be a comma missing

Grammar - the difference between knowing your sh1t and knowing you're sh1t

Lenin Skynard wrote: »

Well I didn't move out after any longer than "the norm" and I always regretted not staying at home longer so I'd have to disagree with you. There's a lot to be said for being around your family in the family homeplace. Not that people should stay around in their thirties but I honestly think the stigma is unnecessary and unfair to those who are socially/economically better off by staying with their family longer than 18/21.

Ladyblackadder

Some of ye seem to get very exercised about what goes on in other people's homes. While no one wants to appear weird to society at large, this is obviously an issue on which there are many opinions and how any one family chooses to deal with it is their business and no one elses. If I choose to support my children through their studies and beyond, that's my business and if Mrs Murphy down the road chooses to have her children learn independence after the age of 18, that's her business. When we learn to stop judging others according to our tastes and opinions, we will all be better off. JMO

damie2

Madam_X wrote: »

But going by your above posts you don't know what an opinion is - speculation based on an unsubstantiated retarded notion is not an opinion. E.g. if you're at home at 21 because of being in college, you're not a weirdo or in need of medical help. So yep, you're wrong.

Fair play though, you're starting to come around - it was 20 earlier, but 21 now.

It's obvious that you don't understand what an opinion is, plus you're more abusive towards the posters with opposite opinions than them toward you, so you haven't a leg to stand on for getting defensive.

Daveysil15

So many people talking about finishing college and getting a good job. When did everyone in the country become a college graduate? What about the people working for minimum wage or on part time work? Take a look at the salary of someone on mimimum wage and then take a look at rental prices in an average town or city. There's nothing wrong with saving for a while as long as you're pulling your weight at home.

Monty - the one and only

Where To wrote: »

What about when your parents move in with you?:mad:

I've suffered that fate

damie2

Madam_X wrote: »

A subjective view that's neither right now wrong, not a claim that easily contradicts fact. If a person says "My opinion is dyslexics fake it"... they're wrong. If they say Al Pacino is the best actor ever in their opinion, fair enough, that's just how they feel; it's neither right nor wrong.
Weird that you won't just stick with one account.

Hmmm, your example has nothing to do with this subject so has no meaning here. If someone has an opinion, then, I'm afraid there is not much you can do about it. You seem intent on forcing your view on people with differing views, that won't end well.

I would be happy with the one account if it wasn't from some over the top modding, I'm sure they'll clamp down on this account too, I purposely used a familiar tag. It seems that any views that differ from the majority get a slap on the wrists or get banned. Let them enjoy the power trip!

Shryke

Ladyblackadder wrote: »

Some of ye seem to get very exercised about what goes on in other people's homes. While no one wants to appear weird to society at large, this is obviously an issue on which there are many opinions and how any one family chooses to deal with it is their business and no one elses. If I choose to support my children through their studies and beyond, that's my business and if Mrs Murphy down the road chooses to have her children learn independence after the age of 18, that's her business. When we learn to stop judging others according to our tastes and opinions, we will all be better off. JMO

When we're all dead is it?

Idjit

It's really dependent on circumstances. I'm the eldest in my family, just turned 22, in my final year of college. I live at home because my parents are kind enough to want me to. So I work part time and save, and I focus on my studies so that I can get a really good full time job next year, move out and start paying them back for all they have done.
If I wanted to get into a medical profession I'd be stuck in college for another 4 years, which means I probably wouldn't move out until I was 26 at the least. So it really all depends.
I only consider it weird if the parents are unhappy with it or the person living at home isn't contributing anything e.g. money, doing housework etc.

Ladyblackadder

Shryke wrote: »

When we're all dead is it?

Is that the only time we can stop being judgemental? Have we no control over it?

CatEyed92

Gonna be stuck here till I get finally finish college and get a life! :mad: DAMN DAMN DOUBLE DAMN!!

Daveysil15

Madam_X wrote: »

A subjective view that's neither right now wrong, not a claim that easily contradicts fact. If a person says "My opinion is dyslexics fake it"... they're wrong. If they say Al Pacino is the best actor ever in their opinion, fair enough, that's just how they feel; it's neither right nor wrong.
Weird that you won't just stick with one account.

While I don't disagree with your view on this topic, you can't say that someone else's opinion is wrong because it doesn't agree with yours. The dyslexic thing is different because that's a proven medical condition. It's not the same as someone having a negative opinion of someone who still lives at home, however ridiculous that opinion may be.

Madam_X

No I know it's incorrect to say an opinion is wrong when it's neither right nor wrong and merely conflicting with my view. When it contradicts fact or has little to no basis though, it's wrong/up for challenge. So a person saying someone who's still living at home at 21 is a weirdo and needs medical help - well that's definitely up for challenge seeing as most people who live at home at 21 don't require medical help for this or are in this situation due to being weird.

Saying something like "In my opinion it's not ideal for someone to be living at home after 21" though, well it's narrow-minded, but still just their opinion and not wrong.

flutterflye

Madam_X wrote: »

No I know it's incorrect to say an opinion is wrong when it's neither right nor wrong and merely conflicting with my view. When it contradicts fact or has little to no basis though, it's wrong/up for challenge. So a person saying someone who's still living at home at 21 is a weirdo and needs medical help - well that's definitely up for challenge seeing as most people who live at home at 21 don't require medical help for this or are in this situation due to being weird.

Saying something like "In my opinion it's not ideal for someone to be living at home after 21" though, well it's narrow-minded, but still just their opinion and not wrong.

I get you.
I got a warning from a forum before for that very reason - I told someone their opinion was wrong because it wasn't an opinion - it was proven to be wrong.
Just like the dyslexic thing.
Pi$$ed me off no end, so I deleted my account and never posted there again! lol!
Anyway, just letting you know that someone gets what you mean!