Gay experiences...

tonycascarino

mango salsa wrote: »

Some men define themselves as straight and have sex with men from time to time.

A straight guy would not even dream of having sex with another guy. No way whatsoever are they straight.

Annasopra

tonycascarino wrote: »

A straight guy would not even dream of having sex with another guy. No way whatsoever are they straight.

Right so.

Keep living in dream land.

tonycascarino

mango salsa wrote: »

Right so.

You keep living in dream land then.

Yes and you keep living in cuckoo land

Annasopra

tonycascarino wrote: »

Yes and you keep living in cuckoo land

I am genuinely sorry for you that you can't cope with reality and resort to denying it.

1ZRed

tonycascarino wrote: »

A straight guy would not even dream of having sex with another guy. No way whatsoever are they straight.

Why do people assume sexuality is either 100% straight, 100% gay and 50/50 bi?

It's not.

You hear of gay men having sex with women, they're still gay and maybe just tried it out. Same can apply to predominantly straight men.

hooradiation

1ZRed wrote: »

Why do people assume sexuality is either 100% straight, 100% gay and 50/50 bi?

It's not.

You hear of gay men having sex with women, they're still gay and maybe just tried it out. Same can apply to predominantly straight men.

The idea that sexuality is a ternary system is pretty adorable.

In an endearing naivety sort of way.

Crooked Jack

1ZRed wrote: »

No. It doesn't even make you bi. You're full on closet gay if you're having anal sex of any kind. No excuses

:pac:

Then wrap the Rainbow Flag around me lads

1ZRed

Crooked Jack wrote: »

Then wrap the Rainbow Flag around me lads

Nah, you haven't earned it yet considering you're not doing anything even remotely gay by having anal with a girl.

Better pick your game up if you want that flag, mind

Crooked Jack

1ZRed wrote: »

Nah, you haven't earned it yet considering you're not doing anything even remotely gay by having anal with a girl.

Better pick your game up if you want that flag, mind

but...but...but you said...
Why would you dangle the carrot like that?

Gummy Panda

1ZRed wrote: »

No. It doesn't even make you bi. You're full on closet gay if you're having anal sex of any kind. No excuses

:pac:

What if you are not doing it as an act of love but an act of violence?

1ZRed

Crooked Jack wrote: »

but...but...but you said...
Why would you dangle the carrot like that?

Depending on what kind of carrot you're referring to you might be getting that flag yet :pac:

OneArt

Nothing like a bit of fiddling to clean out the pipes now and then.

Annasopra

The boxes of heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual are a way of categorising so that people can understand more of the world around them.

Many many people don't fit into these rigid boxes neatly.

Many of us in the LGBTQ community realised this a long time ago (despite the fact that as social movements we organised based on identity)

iregk

mango salsa wrote: »

Many of us in the LGBTQ community realised this a long time ago (despite the fact that as social movements we organised based on identity)

I'm going to make a stab at this. Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transvestite... What is the Q for?

Links234

Odysseus wrote: »

I notic people are only giving the options of straight, gay or bi, we seem to be missing out on trans-gendered as an option here.

Well, I'm here. And to tell the truth, I find myself almost exclusively attracted to other trans women

Make of that what you will.

iregk wrote: »

I'm going to make a stab at this. Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transvestite... What is the Q for?

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer/Questioning

floggg

tonycascarino wrote: »

A straight guy would not even dream of having sex with another guy. No way whatsoever are they straight.

I think the thing here is that terms "straight" "gay" and "bi" are labels only used to identify people and don't necessarily to the realities of sexuality.

These terms can be a kind of subjective thing and often how present ourselves and how we are perceived by ourselves and others.

They are labels created by people for convenience and are a fairly recent and western phenomonen.

In many countries and cultures don't have a concept of "gay" as a sexual orientation even if people engage in homosexual acts.

And merely engaging in a homosexual sex act doesn't make you gay - look at the gay for pay porn stars.

On the other hand, just because you haven't engaged in a homosexual act it doesn't mean you are straight.

Lots of people might be predominately straight but in the right (or wrong, depending on your view point) circumstances might engage in homosexual acts - e.g. Prison/navy scenarios where otherwise "straight" men might be more inclined to engage in gay sex.

I think the reason the use MSM is that lots of people won't self identify as gay for whatever reason, and particularly in sexual health spheres, they don't want to exclude anybody through the arbitrary use of labels.

Jezek

kjl wrote: »

I reckon that deep down EVERYONE has homosexual feelings, but they are just too scared to admit it. If women suddenly disappeared from the planet, I assure you it wouldn't be long before we would all turn gay

don't assume, I don't assume that gay man secretly have heterosexual feelings . I know sexuality is a sliding scale but obviously at two ends of the scale there are 100% heterosexuals (this is what I feel I am ) and 100% homosexuals. So to assume everyone is a mixture of both is wrong.

1ZRed

Jezek wrote: »

don't assume, I don't assume that gay man secretly have heterosexual feelings . I know sexuality is a sliding scale but obviously at two ends of the scale there are 100% heterosexuals (this is what I feel I am ) and 100% homosexuals. So to assume everyone is a mixture of both is wrong.

Though I don't doubt you could be close enough to 100% straight, it's just not possible. Nobody is 100% on either end because everyone has had same-sex thoughts at one point or another, no matter how insignificant. You could well be 90-95% straight but many argue total 100% sexually is not possible. Humans, especially men, are very sexual creatures by nature.

Jezek

1ZRed wrote: »

Though I don't doubt you could be close enough to 100% straight, it's just not possible. Nobody is 100% on either end because everyone has had same-sex thoughts at one point or another, no matter how insignificant. You could well be 90-95% straight but many argue total 100% sexually is not possible. Humans, especially men, are very sexual creatures by nature.

I don't think that 'men' are more sexual than 'women' .Also I think it's obnoxious to try to say to me what my sexual orientation is. Unless you can prove scientifically that no-one is purely attracted to the classic female phenotype ('male heterosexual') then don't tell me I'm not 100% straight.
I self identify as a man, I am genetically and phenotypically male, I am only attracted to 'women' or the 'classic female phenotype', I have only have had sexual experiences/fantasies/thoughts with these kinds of humans.

So don't tell anyone what their sexuality is/isn't , that's obnoxious.

J_E

tonycascarino wrote: »

A straight guy would not even dream of having sex with another guy. No way whatsoever are they straight.

This is such a hilarious attitude. I can only assume the people thanking that post are either finding this as hilarious as I am or are as small minded, which is not only a shame but kind of a dangerous attitude to have in some cases.

For the record I don't think it's out of the question that a guy can be repulsed by other guys sexually. I just think it's really bad when they have this irrational fear and out any other men that even have a one-off/occasional thought that doesn't mean anything, as gay.

Bobo78

I m 100% hetero and I would never have sex with man. I m just repulsed and disgusted at the thought of having sex with man. There's nothing attractive in that to me.

brummytom

Cydoniac wrote: »

This is such a hilarious attitude. I can only assume the people thanking that post are either finding this as hilarious as I am or are as small minded, which is not only a shame but kind of a dangerous attitude to have in some cases.

Why is it small-minded or dangerous?


If you're a man and have sex with other men, by its definition, you are not straight. I honestly don't see the cause for argument. I don't think there is much grey area. Sex with women = straight, sex with men = gay. Anything else = bisexual. Anyone claiming themselves to be a straight male who occasionally has sex with men is just deluded.

J_E

brummytom wrote: »

Why is it small-minded or dangerous?


If you're a man and have sex with other men, by its definition, you are not straight. I honestly don't see the cause for argument. I don't think there is much grey area. Sex with women = straight, sex with men = gay. Anything else = bisexual. Anyone claiming themselves to be a straight male who occasionally has sex with men is just deluded.

There's a difference between orientation and preference. Just because you might have a bit of a fumble about doesn't mean anything. You can choose to play around but at the end of the day you can't choose your sexuality no matter what you do, so if a guy does try it with another guy, he isn't automatically gay...can't you see that?

Chuck Stone

If a gay tried to touch me up I'd fist him.

1ZRed

Jezek wrote: »

I don't think that 'men' are more sexual than 'women' .Also I think it's obnoxious to try to say to me what my sexual orientation is. Unless you can prove scientifically that no-one is purely attracted to the classic female phenotype ('male heterosexual') then don't tell me I'm not 100% straight.
I self identify as a man, I am genetically and phenotypically male, I am only attracted to 'women' or the 'classic female phenotype', I have only have had sexual experiences/fantasies/thoughts with these kinds of humans.

So don't tell anyone what their sexuality is/isn't , that's obnoxious.

It's well known men are more sexual than women. It's just in the biology of a man to want to reproduce as much as possible and so men have higher sex drives on average to women. Homosexuality is a bit of an indicator of this also. Homosexuality and bisexuality is slighly higher among men than in women (going by Kinsey studies). Why isn't it even?

I can't, and I shouldn't be telling you what you're sexuality is. You could be perfectly straight without any sort of attraction/fantasies about other men but have the odd meaningless thought and still be very much near 100% straight. Just not being 100% doesn't mean you've any sort of attraction to other men whatsoever. It's just that growing up and/or sometimes along the lines, a guy could have a few random or insignificant thoughts about same-sex or whatever. Nothing at all of meaning but it could be there, and that'd go for gay and straight men.

But if you believe yourself to 100% then that's right, because you're the only judge of that. It's only that I say 100% sexuality is not possible because in talking to people, and getting more exposure to this sort of thing, guys have told me that although they'd be near enough 100% gay they'd still wonder and have the odd thought about the opposite sex, though it wouldn't be necessarily in a sexual way or at all, if you get me.
It's still there but it makes sense that it would apply to the other end of the spectrum with straight men. But then, majority of straight men wouldn't be open to this sort of questioning at all and would deny anything that would make them any less then 100% straight, which in your case could well be true, but how common that is given that sexuality is a spectrum, I don't know. But I don't believe it to be very common at all.

1ZRed

brummytom wrote: »

Why is it small-minded or dangerous?


If you're a man and have sex with other men, by its definition, you are not straight. I honestly don't see the cause for argument. I don't think there is much grey area. Sex with women = straight, sex with men = gay. Anything else = bisexual. Anyone claiming themselves to be a straight male who occasionally has sex with men is just deluded.

By that definition I'm bisexual. But I'm not.

leggo

It's interesting that this thread (a good debate, worth having) has now become a tug-o-war between the need of people to label and the insistence of others that you can't label.

I think one side needs to see that sexuality is filled with so many grey areas that tying it down to three labels to suit everybody is a ridiculous goal. On the other hand, though, the other side needs to see that these labels are how people come to terms with such issues, understand and digest them. I'd tend to fully believe the 'venn diagram theory' (for lack of a better term), but said labels are a necessary evil for the time being while society evolves its understanding and acceptance.

The reality is that, I believe, in 100 years our great-great grandchildren will walk around kissing or having sex with who they like, regardless of gender, without batting an eyelid. And they'll laugh at us for being so ridiculous that we had to categorise each other under different headings based on what we felt like humping. Spade a spade, they'll also probably think we're pretty dumb for denying ourselves certain sexual pleasures because we had to scream at the world that we were 100% straight. They'll be embarrassed by our grandchildren, their grandparents, for using labels like 'gay' that we originally taught to them, thinking we were forward thinking and progressive in doing so. So it goes...

randylonghorn

Crooked Jack wrote: »

Then wrap the Rainbow Flag around me lads

Why would you want to wrap a flag around your lad?

I don't care how lucky you are, it's unlikely to make a good flagpole!

Barna77

Ah leave the straight guys alone... we need something to fantasize about

If a man wants to have sex with women only, then fine.

If a man wants to have sex with men only, perfectly fine :cool:

Bobo78 wrote: »

I m 100% hetero and I would never have sex with man. I m just repulsed and disgusted at the thought of having sex with man. There's nothing attractive in that to me.

Same as I'd never think of having sex with a woman....

....but given the state of the so called gay scene in Dublin.... I'm going straight

:pac:

1ZRed

Barna77 wrote: »

Ah leave the straight guys alone... we need something to fantasize about

Thing is though, I don't fantasise about straight guys, much to the contrary of what some straight lads would believe that all gay men want to come onto them.

Helping a willing guy out with his curiosities is another question tho

Barna77

^ Get a straight guy and even Madonna herself will bend the knee and pay fealty to you hahaha

Gummy Panda

1ZRed wrote: »

Thing is though, I don't fantasise about straight guys, much to the contrary of what some straight lads would believe that all gay men want to come onto them.

Helping a willing guy out with his curiosities is another question tho

I heard some straight women fantasize about gay lads. Apparently they buy gay porn.

anhedonia

Links234 wrote: »

Well, I'm here. And to tell the truth, I find myself almost exclusively attracted to other trans women

Make of that what you will.

well clearly you're a lesbian.

wait a sec, when you say 'almost exclusively' attracted to other trans women, you need to define almost, so I can further refine my pigeonholing of your sexuality. Pleas clarify.

Jezek

Barna77 wrote: »

....but given the state of the so called gay scene in Dublin.... I'm going straight

:pac:

Dublin's no mecca for the straights either...:p

Annasopra

brummytom wrote: »

Why is it small-minded or dangerous?


If you're a man and have sex with other men, by its definition, you are not straight. I honestly don't see the cause for argument. I don't think there is much grey area. Sex with women = straight, sex with men = gay. Anything else = bisexual. Anyone claiming themselves to be a straight male who occasionally has sex with men is just deluded.

You see choosing to put things into a box doesn't really work in real life.

There genuinely is many self identified straight cisgender men who have sex with other self identified cisgender men. You can deny this and say people are deluded and deny the existence of grey areas and insist everything has to fit a structured label of how you perceive the world. Meanwhile self identified straight cisgender men who have sex with other self identified cisgender men will continue to exist.

Annasopra

anhedonia wrote: »

well clearly you're a lesbian.

wait a sec, when you say 'almost exclusively' attracted to other trans women, you need to define almost, so I can further refine my pigeonholing of your sexuality. Pleas clarify.

Why do you need to pigeonhole links sexuality?

ashers22

sausage fest.
I'm female (hullo) I identify as 'not staight' or 'queer'. I can't abide by the term lesbian for the most part and bi sexual just has too much physical connotations for me, however I have had both male and female partners over the years. I concluded (chose) after many years that hetero sex either just wasn't enough of a stimulus or reason to be with a man and my preference or 'choice' to be with women was based on the reason that it provides more substantially to my needs. I genuinely don't know what you might call that.
But it's not all about sex. I think this is important. I don't believe I speak for all non hetero women but aside from physical needs, I have emotional needs that also need to be fulfilled and that really can only be accomodated by a woman. In my case, one begets the other.

Most (all) of the discussion here is physical needs based and if by that definition people are categorising homosexuality then there is going to be much misrepresentation.
Wrt to msm, I have met many straight men who, after a few, have no problem admitting that they have often wondered what it would be like to mess around with a penis. I stress the use of the apendage because outside of that they have absolutely no interest in the physical person it belongs to. I think of it as a sexual fetish or a kink, maybe a fantasy but it doesn't make them gay.
It sometimes easier to think in values of preference (I fall into this category), persuasion and orientation as the rhyme and reason for everyone is different.

just my two cent.

thiarfearr

mango salsa wrote: »

Why do you need to pigeonhole links sexuality?

whooosh?

anhedonia

mango salsa wrote: »

Why do you need to pigeonhole links sexuality?

I dont.
that was a satirical response aimed at other posters who believe sexuality is very much black and white.

Wacker The Attacker

Do girls get compliments about their fannies?

1ZRed

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I heard some straight women fantasize about gay lads. Apparently they buy gay porn.

Some do and think it hot to see two guys getting at it like loads of straight lads loving lesbian porn.

I think you're on about me not fantasying about straight guys, well I don't really. Like, I wouldn't bother perusing a straight guy because there genuinely wouldn't be anything there, but if there is something and I pick up on it, I might try it out because it can be a laugh and hot to show him that side of his sexuality. Mostly they'd be bi guys that have never done anything with a guy or play around on the sly, but some just want to try it out no questions asked to see.

1ZRed

Barna77 wrote: »

^ Get a straight guy and even Madonna herself will bend the knee and pay fealty to you hahaha

Did it, and did it a few times

Syllabus

i was in the george many moons ago with the missus and a gay friend of hers. i was sitting on a couch out on a landing beside the missus and this fella came over and sat on the arm of the couch and started rubbing my chest saying i had nice pecks(sadly moobs now)
i says thanks but that this was my missus sitting next to me and he said he didnt care.

i was flatered but not as much as i would have been if he was better looking.

ashers22

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Do girls get compliments about their fannies?

thread really should be]renamed gay male experiences.

If they did they prob wouldn't be too bothered about starting a thread about it in AH. Maybe the ladies lounge..women are always complimenting each others boobs and buns, it's rarely a sexual thing though. I suppose we're just not as sexually oriented as men.

NegativeCreep

Links234 wrote: »

Well, I'm here. And to tell the truth, I find myself almost exclusively attracted to other trans women

Make of that what you will.

Wait, are you a man that changed to a woman and now you like other men that have changed to women? Or, are you a woman who changed to a guy and like other women that changed to a guy? Or, are you a woman that changed to a guy and now you like men that have changed to women and vice versa?

I have literally never been so confused in my life

J_E

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Wait, are you a man that changed to a woman and now you like other men that have changed to women? Or, are you a woman who changed to a guy and like other women that changed to a guy? Or, are you a woman that changed to a guy and now you like men that have changed to women and vice versa?

I have literally never been so confused in my life

Or maybe they are just themselves and like trans women?

Links234

NegativeCreep wrote: »

I have literally never been so confused in my life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrCvgiQGh1o

:pac:

NegativeCreep

Cydoniac wrote: »

Or maybe they are just themselves and like trans women?

Oh I read the last bit twice and thought thy were a trans woman who was attracted to other trans women.

Links234

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Oh I read the last bit twice and thought thy were a trans woman who was attracted to other trans women.

I am.

Odysseus

floggg wrote: »

I think the thing here is that terms "straight" "gay" and "bi" are labels only used to identify people and don't necessarily to the realities of sexuality.

These terms can be a kind of subjective thing and often how present ourselves and how we are perceived by ourselves and others.

They are labels created by people for convenience and are a fairly recent and western phenomonen.


I think the reason the use MSM is that lots of people won't self identify as gay for whatever reason, and particularly in sexual health spheres, they don't want to exclude anybody through the arbitrary use of labels.

We need "terms" if we are going to understand the different apects of sexuality, we need to put a name on things. The become problematic when people add moral to them or see them as a bad thing.


That is my understanding of MSM too, it is a easy way to catch people for research and such. I don't know if it exists as a valid concepts though, however, I am constantly evaulating the terms and concepts I use in work.

Edit: I meant to add, there is something not right is someones sexuality provokes a really strong reaction in another person, in my opinion people need to explore that if it is happening.