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Child's happiness V Yours...

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  • 24-11-2012 11:56am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Do you as a parent put your happiness second since your child was born??

    Is your childs happiness more important that yours?

    Is this what's expected of us as paretns?

    Without going into detail, if you knew deep down your child would be better off living in another country, would you sacrifice your own happiness to fulfill childs?


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    #2
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,439 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    I'm not happy unless my child is happy.


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    #3
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,050 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Without the specifics it's hard to comment.

    Are you sure the child will be 'better off' in another country? Better off how? Financially? Emotionally? Will they be happier there or will they just be 'better off'?

    By moving to another country will they be leaving a parent behind? Will they be happy leaving the parent? Will real attempts be made to bring the child back regularly to maintain a healthy relationship with their parent?


    As I said, without the specifics maybe none of that is relevant.

    But it doesn't sound like a simple case of the child's happiness v the parent's, so therefore your not going to get a simple yes or no answer.


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    #4
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Happy parents are essential to a happy child and vice versa. Of course my child always comes first but I'm not a martyr. I won't make the mistake of giving up everything that is important to me because I could spend that time or money on my children. I'm a whole lot more than just a parent.

    Not sure if the answer to the OP is a simple yes or no, moving overseas has to benefit the family as a whole, not just the child. Lots of things need to be taken into consideration.


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here...

    Really appreciate you sharing your comments.

    Other parent lives in other country. We are divorced. I know deep down our child would be better off having both parents living in same country.

    Other parent does not want to move here, yet misses child dearly.

    So I am left with the big decision to consider moving there again, which isn't nearby. Here is my home.

    I feel I should go for child's sake. Would you go?


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    #6
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,050 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    But where would the child be happier? Where are you from? Where is your support network situated? Is there a good reason the other parent doesn't want to move to be in the country their child is in, or is it just easier for them to stay where they are and have everyone else do the hard work?

    I know that's a lot of questions, and I don't expect you to answer then here, but more to think about them yourself.

    If moving there would make sense for the child and you then of course go for it. Otherwise think long and hard, about what actually would be best for all concerned.


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    #7
    mlumley
    Registered Users Posts: 489 ✭✭mlumley


    I am kiving apart from my wife and kids in the same town. I would like to go back to UK, but the kids don t want me to go. I dont like were i live but stay for thier sake. Thier happyness comes first.


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    #8
    McTigs
    Registered Users Posts: 1,032 ✭✭✭McTigs


    As a parent i can safely say my happiness is directly linked to my childrens happiness. Satisfaction in every other part of my life counts for very little if my children are unhappy. Especially if there is the power within my hands to do something about it.

    This of course stops short of spoiling, their temporary unhappiness at not geting what they want doesn't count.

    This is bigger picture unhappiness. You said "move there again". Did you move away with the child when you divorced? In this case i would be sucking it up and putting the childs welfare first. My access to my family and friends and surroundings i'm happy in would have to come second to the childs happiness and access to both parents.

    I'm not telling you what you should do but you asked for opinion and this is my tuppence worth based on the facts to hand


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    #9
    Tombo2001
    Registered Users Posts: 6,662 ✭✭✭Tombo2001


    OP.....

    Big move there. I wouldnt do it.

    Do you have a family network/ support network here that you will lose if you go overseas?

    Also, you dont know for a fact that your child would be happier.


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    #10
    Tombo2001
    Registered Users Posts: 6,662 ✭✭✭Tombo2001


    I get the impression that you feel that the "right thing to do by the child" is to go overseas, and that you feel guilty for not doing it.......it might not be "the right thing to do by the child".....


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    #11
    Hannibal Smith
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    I think its all linked...if a child is happy you're happy...if you're unhappy the child is unhappy. its like the aeroplane rule...fix your own oxygen mask before tending to others...fix your own happiness and that will pass on to your child.

    So no, I wouldn't move if it meant me being unhappy...fair play to you for considering it though.


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