The surname

danslevent

Why do children take the male's surname? Friends and I have discussed this and it seems more prehistorical conceptions that children take the fathers second name. Why not the woman's? We carry the children for nine months surely there should be a fifty fifty choice of second names. My friend argued "my legacy will die out" what about the woman's? It seems rediculous now that woman take men's second names. I would live I hear the arguments pro and against, always love getting my opinion changed!

galwayrush

Some kids do take their mother's name, others use both.

danslevent

galwayrush wrote: »

Some kids do take their mother's name, others use both.

Even when they use sometimes the both names the males just overtakes and it becomes that. Not saying all, but most I have encountered

franktheplank

My two cents. It just has to be one or the other. Double barrel names are ridiculous. What happens when people with double barrel names have kids?

danslevent

franktheplank wrote: »

My two cents. It just has to be one or the other. Double barrel names are ridiculous. What happens when people with double barrel names have kids?

Exactly, it just becomes the males.

Ghost Train

Wouldn't there also be the question, why do some women take their husbands surname

frozenfrozen

I don't care what name your child takes so you fight it out with your male partner who insists otherwise. It's such a trivial thing, who cares?

Witcher

Summary of thread so far;

Fcuk men

cuana

I assume its a personal choice!! though for example I do know of a woman with three kids, they all have different fathers she's chosen to use the surnames of there father IMO I think this is fcuked up & completely unfair on the kids talk about confusion

franktheplank

Maybe we should scrap surnames and just use some form of registration ID that's derived from mommy's and daddy's IDs.

That would be kool, like a car reg?

danslevent

Ghost Train wrote: »

Wouldn't there also be the question, why do some women take their husbands surname

Yeah, I wonder. I would find it so weird changing the signature I so labously scrawled everywere during my youth

Stained Class

danslevent wrote: »

Why do children take the male's surname? Friends and I have discussed this and it seems more prehistorical conceptions that children take the fathers second name. Why not the woman's? We carry the children for nine months surely there should be a fifty fifty choice of second names. My friend argued "my legacy will die out" what about the woman's? It seems rediculous now that woman take men's second names. I would live I hear the arguments pro and against, always love getting my opinion changed!

Well, it's a rule, isn't it?

My wife took my surname & we have kids now.

So far it's daughters only.

I spose they might get married sometime & take on a diffrent surname.

But hey, what's in a name anyway?

I'm happy that some part of me will probably survive when I'm gone.

My take on it.

Aoifey!

I think when I have a child I'll use both and let the child decide if they want to keep both or one or the other when they get a bit older. Seems the fairest way and that way my name has a fighting chance at survival.

JohnMarston

i've met at least three married couples in the past three years through my former job, who have retained separate surnames. One of them had two girls who had the wifes surname.

As well as that, in the many divorces i've seen where the children live with the mother, the children take her surname after she changes back to her maiden name

So the rule that the wife and children take the husbands surname is not set in stone, its just the default

Stained Class

galwayrush wrote: »

Some kids do take their mother's name, others use both.

Those double-barrelled surnames sound so wrong here.

Imagine being called Paddy O Neill-Gilhooley or summat.

danslevent

Aoifey! wrote: »

I think when I have a child I'll use both and let the child decide if they want to keep both or one or the other when they get a bit older. Seems the fairest way and that way my name has a fighting chance at survival.

Definitely want my child to use both and choose. Have a secrete celebrity when they use my name but still :P

KKkitty

Blay wrote: »

Summary of thread so far;

Fcuk men

That's what gets women pregnant in the first place

danslevent

danslevent wrote: »

Definitely want my child to use both and choose. Have a secrete celebrity when they use my name but still :P

Celebration*

danslevent

danslevent wrote: »

Celebration*

You're so cool.

Rynox45

I think in order to preserve names it'd have to be one or the other in all cases, otherwise you'd end up with people choosing the names which sound nicest somewhere down the line.

danslevent

Rynox45 wrote: »

I think in order to preserve names it'd have to be one or the other in all cases, otherwise you'd end up with people choosing the names which sound nicest somewhere down the line.

Why not choose the best sounding? It's not like we are royalty anymore. Names means very little

irishgirl19

When I was born I was under my mothers name.apparently my dad didn't take to it so well but my mam said feck ya until were married and I take on your name she(me) won't take it either.

Israel_Dagg

There's no law that you have to take the mans name.

Rynox45

danslevent wrote: »

Why not choose the best sounding? It's not like we are royalty anymore. Names means very little

On the other hand, what if you like your name but it's not a pretty one? Some names have legacy behind them too. It's unfortunate there's not an analogue from religion to names, you can't let your child go nameless until they're old enough to decide.

danslevent

irishgirl19 wrote: »

When I was born I was under my mothers name.apparently my dad didn't take to it so well but my mam said feck ya until were married and I take on your name she(me) won't take it either.

Yeah I just find it weird how in Ireland dads have so little rights but yet the surname is so strong. So hypocritical

Tasden

I gave my child her dads surname because we weren't married and I felt it would be nice to give them that official link for want of a better word and then if we did get married and I took his name we would all have the same name.

Regret it a lot now for the reason someone gave earlier- the relationship broke down and now if I go on to have more children they will have a different surname.

michellie

My daughter has her father's surname (my boyfriend of 6 years) . No big deal, if we get married ill take on his surname too. Not interested in the double barrel thing either.

My missus came from an all girl family and she ( & her sister) was determined that the family name would survive , so she created a double barrel name for herself.

The kids have my name though, she didn't want to load a double barrel name onto them.

One of her sisters insisted that her kids had the double barrel name, as they grew up they both dropped it, and just use their fathers surname (probably pisses her off!

danslevent

The double barrel just don't work after a certain age

leaveiton

Was just wondering this myself earlier. I've a couple of friends whose mothers would have been adamant that they kept their own name when they got married, yet they themselves have their father's surname. Anytime I've encountered anyone like this, that's been the case.

danslevent

danslevent wrote: »

The double barrel just don't work after a certain age

As long as you're not firing blanks before then! :pac:

danslevent

dolanbaker wrote: »

As long as you're not firing blanks before then! :pac:

Yeah. Obviously.

Feathers

danslevent wrote: »

Friends and I have discussed this and it seems more prehistorical conceptions that children take the fathers second name.

I doubt it :P

Pottler

Our family name is unusual(foreidgn) and I've all sisters, so I'm the last flag bearer, except now I've two sons. Life would be waay easier if we had my wifes surname (she's from a huge Irish family who are well enough known) and I've often contemplated "Irishising" my surname to make it blend a bit better, especially work wise, seeing as we're as Irish as it gets really, except for the name. "Are you the (insert somwhere foreign), lad?" gets a bit old after a while especially when your not.. Surnames are important I think. I'd love to be a Murphy, I'd have it on all our vans, and I'd paint them green...

IsThisIt???

I think if the parents are together when the child is born the fathers surname should be used for the simple fact that it's the done thing. It's such a trivial thing and there's no need to rock the boat when it comes to this. I know I would have hated to have been given my mothers name as a child and having to try explain to people why I don't have my fathers name. Of course it's a different story if the father isn't in the picture or there's some other circumstance, but as a general rule this is easier. The child is not going to be any happier with the mothers surname.

And on another note I hate double barrell names, but I guess that one is "each to their own"

ToddyDoody

Good question op. As far as I'm aware, doody is descended from a line of chip shop owners :-/

coolhull

Stained Class wrote: »

Those double-barrelled surnames sound so wrong here.

Imagine being called Paddy O Neill-Gilhooley or summat.

coolhull is my username. My real name is Patrick O'Neill-Gilhooley.... Is there a problem with that?

Stained Class

coolhull wrote: »

coolhull is my username. My real name is Patrick O'Neill-Gilhooley.... Is there a problem with that?

If your'e bigger than me, no problem at all there...........sir.

Michael Weston

danslevent wrote: »

Celebration*

danslevent wrote: »

You're so cool.

Are you arguing with yourself here ?

guppy

Pottler wrote: »

Our family name is unusual(foreidgn) and I've all sisters, so I'm the last flag bearer, except now I've two sons. Life would be waay easier if we had my wifes surname (she's from a huge Irish family who are well enough known) and I've often contemplated "Irishising" my surname to make it blend a bit better, especially work wise, seeing as we're as Irish as it gets really, except for the name. "Are you the (insert somwhere foreign), lad?" gets a bit old after a while especially when your not.. Surnames are important I think. I'd love to be a Murphy, I'd have it on all our vans, and I'd paint them green...

I hated my surname all my life, couldn't wait to take my husband's "normal" Irish surname when we got married.

I went through life stating my name and immediately spelling the surname out without prompting. However, as soon as I got married and used my new surname to make bookings etc, I was asked to spell my forename. Turns out most people were too polite to point out they couldn't spell that either

In Iceland there are no family names. The girls would be, eg Karen Guppysdaughter (dottir in Icelandic) and if Karen had a daughter, it would be Sarah Karensdottir etc. I think it's nice, but kinda hard to keep track of who you're related to on an extended scale.

up for anything

Stained Class wrote: »

Well, it's a rule, isn't it?

My wife took my surname & we have kids now.

So far it's daughters only.

I spose they might get married sometime & take on a diffrent surname.

But hey, what's in a name anyway?

I'm happy that some part of me will probably survive when I'm gone.

My take on it.

Contradictory. I'm sure your wife would be equally happy that some part of her would survive when she's gone.

IsThisIt??? wrote: »

I think if the parents are together when the child is born the fathers surname should be used for the simple fact that it's the done thing. It's such a trivial thing and there's no need to rock the boat when it comes to this.

If people kept doing things for the simple fact that it's the done thing - nothing would ever have changed in the world. If it's such a trivial thing why should it rock the boat to change it?

Stained Class

up for anything wrote: »

Contradictory. I'm sure your wife would be equally happy that some part of her would survive when she's gone.

But it will anyway.

As I said before, it's unlikely that the 'Class' surname will survive longterm as we have daughters anyway.

I'm happy that part of me (& wifey too) should carry on after we've passed away.

phoenix999

My dad was born out of wedlock, so was given his mother's surname. She subsequently married another guy and had more children (who used his surname). My dad was never told who his father was and always felt a pariah. I've always resented having my grandmother's surname because of the way she treated him. Poor mum was left to pick up the pieces.

Mardy Bum

Its to solidify paternity. Pre DNA testing no one could be sure that their father was their father but taking your father's name solidifies paternity slightly more even if it is a fiction.

rannerap

I was given my dads surname, my parents subsequently divorced and my mam reverted to her maiden name so we have different surnames. It has never bothered me and I would give my kids the dads surname whether we are married or not.

Esoteric_

I've a double barreled surname and a double barreled first name, not to mention a middle name. I wish I just had a simple two name thing going on. :pac:

Scuid Mhór

franktheplank wrote: »

My two cents. It just has to be one or the other. Double barrel names are ridiculous. What happens when people with double barrel names have kids?

Quadruple barrel names of course. Honours maths represent :cool:

yohan the great

We cant be goin around with everybody having two surnames.

DEFTLEFTHAND

I used to think about that, My father always made it clear to us that we were his family. I didn't have much of a connection on my mothers side apart from my maternal grandmother.

swimming in a sea

I would never get to hung up on surnames, they are usually associated with your ancestors job, maybe we should get a john cooper to change his name to john Hedge(fund manager) or john whitevanman.

I remember a Burt Lancaster movie "local hero" where a new York man is sent to work in Scotland because his name is Macintyre, even though he is Hungarian Jew whose family took the name at Ellis island because they thought it sounded American.

SusieBlue

On my birth certificate, my surname is double barrelled even though I've only ever gone by my fathers surname.

My daughter took my boyfriends surname because we plan on getting married in the future and when we do, I'll take his name. No interest in double barrelling it. I'm not particularly attached to my surname and can't wait to take my boyfriends, shallow as it sounds, his is much much nicer than mine :pac:

Its down to personal choice really, I think.