how to get my hubbie off fags? Help!

lennyloulou

hi , i would appreciate any advice....
hubbie smokes 16-18 fags a day. now rolls his own due to costs.
will buy fags when out socially. it is driving me mad - his whole appearance has aged and now I can hear a bad wheeze in his chest whn i sit next to him. He has never given them up and never really tried to give them up.
My mum in law keeps telling me to nag him but I believe naggging constantly will never work. He knows I cant stand the smoking.
we are married a year and half, no kids, I dread him getting sick from them but he has no inclination/desire to stop.. what can I do? I notice socially he feels it neccessary to have the pint and fag with the lads- they all smoke.
he is 31yr and not into exercise anymore.
Any advice please ?

nompere

As an ex-smoker, I can say that no-one was ever able to shame me. persuade me, nag me, or guilt me into giving up smoking.

It's tough enough if you really want to give up. I reckon it's impossible if you don't want to stop.

I'm sorry if that's not very helpful.

(As an aside, it's a bit vexing that the greatest amount of nagging I got was from my two daughters - both of whom now smoke, while I'm off for nearly six years now.)

JBG2011

Worst thing you can do is nag your husband. Deep down he probably hates smoking and is guilty about it and nagging wont make him stop. It'll only create tension between the two of you.

Ultimately he'll have to make the decision himself. Support him 100% if he tries to quit and don't get on his back if he relapses.

areyawell

Electronic Fags or get him an inhaler from the chest

Burdock

You should have a look at the vaping and e-smoking forum.

I haven't smoked a cigarette for about 8 months

username123

Have you actually talked to him about it (as opposed to nagging him?).

What does he think? Does he want to stop? I wanted to stop for years before I stopped. If he doesnt want to stop though, theres no chance.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056816059

murphyaii

men hate nagging!!!!
if you nag him he will probably smoke twice as much now to spite you
just leave subtle hints and never ask.

Dingle_berry

I'm in a similar situation with my OH and nagging gets us nowhere, if not back to square one faster.
Take time to re think your own feelings about somking. Then have an open talk (not nag) about your husbands thoughts on smoking. When and why he started, what makes him crave one, what he thinks of them, does he notice the smell, etc etc. everything but nag. It will help you understand it from his perspective and find out if there's anything you can do or not do to help him cut down.
Something I still struggle with is how it's an addiction and not just a habit.

Camo22

Allen Carrs easyway is supposed to be great. A guy in work that smoked 20 a day for 20 years gave up after going to 1 class. I'm thinking of doing similar in January.

Here's hoping!!

davet82

when being nagged about giving up smoking it makes the cigarettes twice as nice for some reason...

taato

As an ex-smoker I can confirm that nagging won't make any difference - as a previous poster said - it will only drive a wedge between you both. Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear. He may well decide to stop smoking one day but don't let his smoking define your relationship with him - its an addiction and its not easy to quit. I think if my OH nagged me - I would have dug me heels in and continued smoking.

not yet

Until he realises his health is starting to suffer he will not stop......

I smoked for 30 years until one day I just got so ****ing fed up feeling drained,tired out of breath that I just knew I had to stop. One more huge part of the process for me was looking forward to my 50s 60s I just knew I would be completely fcuked if I continued smoking.

Ps Nagging is NOT the answer.

Here Come The Pretzels

+1 for the Electric cigarette recommendations (im off them 3 months)
They could (literally) change your husbands life and he'll be nag free to boot!

kimokanto

I am currently off the smokes for 18months & was previously off them for 9years! It is a sneaky & potent addiction. I gave them up because I wanted to Alot of the previous posts are clear on this & I agree completely. It must be hard living with someone else's habit/addiction especially when you love them & want to see them beat it but all you can do is support & encourage your husband. The "addict" part will only thrive on the nagging and feed into the addiction. Open & honest discussion is much more likely to help him see that you are worried for his health. Friends of mine have found hypnotherapy and Alan Carr to be useful. Best of luck:o

Pencig

Mod Snip - Less of the spam pasting and more original opinions please.