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Nice guys should just accept bachelorhood?

  • 12-12-2012 4:55pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 716 ✭✭✭creeper1


    Word of wisdom from a audio-blogger.:)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61_R2X3Pr1I

    He discusses the well known fact that women aren't attracted to nice guys. There are many reasons for this. Ranging from nice guys being too boring to not being like alpha males.

    We are more like animals that we realise IMHO. In a animal environment it is only the alpha male. The baddest, strongest, most attitude filled stag that gets mating rights to all the females.

    And if any of the other stags have the audacity to try to mate with females the alpha male will come and stick horns up his ass! :D Or murder the poor sod!!

    The worst of the worst is the nice guy that takes care of the baby fathered by another man. Darwin (and me) would be disgusted by you.

    So is bachelorhood a better options for nice guys. In my opinion it probably is. There are women that can paid to satisfy your needs. Way preferable to supporting to the child of another.


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,341 ✭✭✭✭Chucky the tree


    I think single guys/girls who complain about being single and not finding someone just use the "no nice guys/girls out there" as a handy excuse to blame someone else for their own shortcomings.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    If being an Alpha Male means dumping a child on a woman, I'd rather be a nice guy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,558 ✭✭✭seven_eleven


    Oh god I'm so alone :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,471 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    Do alpha males have the biggest horns then?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    I think single guys/girls who complain about being single and not finding someone just use the "no nice guys/girls out there" as a handy excuse to blame someone else for their own shortcomings.

    I hate this. "All my ex-boyfriends/girlfriends keep cheating on me all the time why aren't there any nice guys/girls out there"

    Its because you're the idiot who keeps picking cheaters over better people.:mad:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,646 ✭✭✭✭Sauve


    Plenty of nice guys are filthy animals in bed. It's possible to have both believe it or not :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 716 ✭✭✭creeper1


    If being an Alpha Male means dumping a child on a woman, I'd rather be a nice guy.


    You don't understand. You are more successful in Darwinian terms. You have passed on your genes.

    The guy who feeds and clothes your children is the real loser (since you make sure that guy isn't you and you are free to impregnate other women)


  • Registered Users Posts: 326 ✭✭Attabear


    creeper1 wrote: »

    So is bachelorhood a better options for nice guys. In my opinion it probably is. There are women that can paid to satisfy your needs. Way preferable to supporting to the child of another.

    This is a very depressing view of the world.

    Very depressing indeed.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    The more threads of this I see the more I start to think 'nice guys' are fucking whiners, at least the very vocal ones that bitch and complain women only want assholes and feel so hard done by it all.

    It's of course bullshit. Nobody wants to end up with an asshole but there is a thing as being too much of a pushover and overly nice with no sense of messing around -that's not attractive.

    I think a lot of these guys that complain need to learn to just get on with it and stop obsessing about what women want and how they should get so much attention because they're "so nice" and just enjoy themselves in the meantime.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    creeper1 wrote: »
    Word of wisdom from a audio-blogger.:)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61_R2X3Pr1I

    He discusses the well known fact that women aren't attracted to nice guys. There are many reasons for this. Ranging from nice guys being too boring to not being like alpha males.

    We are more like animals that we realise IMHO. In a animal environment it is only the alpha male. The baddest, strongest, most attitude filled stag that gets mating rights to all the females.

    And if any of the other stags have the audacity to try to mate with females the alpha male will come and stick horns up his ass! :D Or murder the poor sod!!

    The worst of the worst is the nice guy that takes care of the baby fathered by another man. Darwin (and me) would be disgusted by you.

    So is bachelorhood a better options for nice guys. In my opinion it probably is. There are women that can paid to satisfy your needs. Way preferable to supporting to the child of another.


    What a load of horseshìte! Jesus! :pac:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,373 ✭✭✭tonycascarino


    For every old sock there is an old shoe


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    kneemos wrote: »
    Do alpha males have the biggest horns then?

    In some cases yes but sometimes others are craftier or may get a lucky shot in the heat of battle. In other cases its not the bigger the horn the creature has its all about who can swing it about the most, such as the peacock.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Maybe nice guys should act the bollox a bit more?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,872 ✭✭✭Sittingpretty


    Sauve wrote: »
    Plenty of nice guys are filthy animals in bed. It's possible to have both believe it or not :)

    +1

    Not every woman craves a bastard.

    To think so is a bit misogynistic really.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    creeper1 wrote: »
    You don't understand. You are more successful in Darwinian terms. You have passed on your genes.

    The guy who feeds and clothes your children is the real loser (since you make sure that guy isn't you and you are free to impregnate other women)

    I do understand. But we don't attach values in such social traits any more. This I feel you don't understand.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,837 ✭✭✭intellectual dosser


    OP - Have you ever met a happily married man who was a bit of a softy at the same time?

    The answer should be "Yes, lots of them", it is for me anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 716 ✭✭✭creeper1


    Attabear wrote: »
    This is a very depressing view of the world.

    Very depressing indeed.

    Yeah well the world is the way it is. We don't choose the way it is we just have to accept what is.

    Women don't want assholes but they can't help but be ATTRACTED to them.

    ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. And attraction leads to nights of pleasure in bed.

    That leads to babies.

    Women are as much victims as nice guys. THEY CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL THAT ATTRACTION. IT IS A BIOLOGICAL NEED.

    My point is - this is biology. It is natures law.

    THE STRONG SURVIVE THROUGH PASSING ON THEIR GENES.

    the weak (nice guys) get the scraps thrown to them.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd



    +1

    Not every woman craves a bastard.

    To think so is a bit misogynistic really.

    How would that belief be mysogynistic?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,443 ✭✭✭Bipolar Joe


    1ZRed wrote: »
    Nobody wants to end up with an asshole

    Unless they are gay.

    Anywho, I'm pretty OK with not being an "Alpha" male. I'm kind of goofy looking and Darwin wise don't have a lot going for me. But I don't want to be with the type of person who would want to be with the "Alpha" male.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,349 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    The initial post is a rambling, incoherent mess. The thread goes downhill from these.


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  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Why don't you just go and pass on you genes then?

    I'm sure kleenex would appreciate the business.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,646 ✭✭✭✭Sauve


    creeper1 wrote: »
    the weak (nice guys) get the scraps thrown to them.

    Ooohhhh no you didn't *finger snap*
    :pac:


    Which category are you in, OP?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,443 ✭✭✭Bipolar Joe


    creeper1 wrote: »
    Yeah well the world is the way it is. We don't choose the way it is we just have to accept what is.

    Women don't want assholes but they can't help but be ATTRACTED to them.

    ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. And attraction leads to nights of pleasure in bed.

    That leads to babies.

    Women are as much victims as nice guys. THEY CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL THAT ATTRACTION. IT IS A BIOLOGICAL NEED.

    My point is - this is biology. It is natures law.

    THE STRONG SURVIVE THROUGH PASSING ON THEIR GENES.

    the weak (nice guys) get the scraps thrown to them.

    We might be animals, but we've evolved well beyond that being the absolute for attraction.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    creeper1 wrote: »
    Yeah well the world is the way it is. We don't choose the way it is we just have to accept what is.

    Women don't want assholes but they can't help but be ATTRACTED to them.

    ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. And attraction leads to nights of pleasure in bed.

    That leads to babies.

    Women are as much victims as nice guys. THEY CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL THAT ATTRACTION. IT IS A BIOLOGICAL NEED.

    My point is - this is biology. It is natures law.

    THE STRONG SURVIVE THROUGH PASSING ON THEIR GENES.

    the weak (nice guys) get the scraps thrown to them.

    Generalisations. Always a favourite of the poor 'nice guy' who can't find a girl so he shifts the blame onto them.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    creeper1 wrote: »


    ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. .

    I've heard that slogan before.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    This topic comes up several times on AH.

    Generally the consensus is most guys who say they are "nice guys" are not nice guys but are insecure and controlling. They put women on these weird pedestals like they need to be won and become friends trying to manipulate them into being their girlfriend.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    1ZRed wrote: »
    The more threads of this I see the more I start to think 'nice guys' are fucking whiners, at least the very vocal ones that bitch and complain women only want assholes and feel so hard done by it all.

    It's of course bullshit. Nobody wants to end up with an asshole but there is a thing as being too much of a pushover and overly nice with no sense of messing around -that's not attractive.

    I think a lot of these guys that complain need to learn to just get on with it and stop obsessing about what women want and how they should get so much attention because they're "so nice" and just enjoy themselves in the meantime.

    I think the argument is that women are attracted to the @ssholes, not that they want to end up with one. I think it all balances out anyhow. Nice guys turn into @ssholes after a while of being passed over.

    I think it's all about confidence. @ssholes treating women like dirt are perceived to be confident, even though it's completely the wrong type of confidence. But maybe women can't pick up on that.

    We're probably all better off single. Relationships are hard work.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,317 ✭✭✭✭Dodge


    creeper1 wrote: »
    He discusses the well known fact that women aren't attracted to nice guys

    Women aren't attracted to men who whinge that women aren't attracted to nice guys, thats for certain.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,797 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    Ah, this thread again. :rolleyes:
    If you want to REALLY be an alpha male, the following is pretty much the only advice that counts:
    2011062408491796f6d5530cf85ee00ffb85c17a67aa29.jpg


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Dodge wrote: »
    Women aren't attracted to me

    Some day you'll find one.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,872 ✭✭✭Sittingpretty



    How would that belief be mysogynistic?

    Because it attaches a trait to women as a whole rather than looking at women as individuals.

    It's akin to the oft trotted out line "all men are bastards".

    :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 187 ✭✭O-Deazy


    I don't think you have to be a bástard to be an "alpha dog". I'd consider myself a lovely fella but wouldn't take any shíte at the same time! So I reckon you can have traits of both. In other words I totally love and respect the bítches!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,195 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    creeper1 wrote: »
    Yeah well the world is the way it is. We don't choose the way it is we just have to accept what is.

    Women don't want assholes but they can't help but be ATTRACTED to them.

    ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. And attraction leads to nights of pleasure in bed.

    That leads to babies.

    Women are as much victims as nice guys. THEY CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL THAT ATTRACTION. IT IS A BIOLOGICAL NEED.

    My point is - this is biology. It is natures law.

    THE STRONG SURVIVE THROUGH PASSING ON THEIR GENES.

    the weak (nice guys) get the scraps thrown to them.

    You seem to imply that only alpha males pass on their genes. You are wrong.

    I'm a nice guy (my wife says so and so does my ex-wife, who fecked off with a bastard :D), and I have six kids and my wife loves me.

    Your assertion that nice = weak is also feeble-minded sh!te.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    This **** again?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    'Why don't women date nice guys like me? Fúcking bitches'


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,283 ✭✭✭✭MadYaker


    Typical thread started by a guy who can't get laid/find a girlfriend so rather than examining the real reasons for this, ie himself, he blames women. Coming out with this nonsense about how women are only interested in "alpha males", we're not lions or elephants OP, the human race has evolved far beyond that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,349 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    Every single time I hear someone identify themselves as a 'nice guy', I just know they're going to launch into a whinge about how it's so unfair that girls don't like them. Self-proclaimed nice guys are never viewed as such others, who more often than not just find them creepy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 716 ✭✭✭creeper1


    Nice does not equal weak. I accept that.

    And provided you are an alpha and carry yourself that way you will get action.

    However there is a tendency for women to be attracted to the confidence of a bad guy.

    The confidence is cockiness, self assuredness that bad boys exude.

    You can be like that and the knickers don't be long coming off :pac:


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    "Nice guys" are repulsive because they don't offer anything of value to women. They are needy leeches looking to validate their empty void of self esteem, they very rarely say anything that they are genuinely thinking. ( the stuff that you think contains edgy attractive comments usually) But these guys put everything they say through their filter of " something she wants to hear that will make her like me".

    However it has the exact opposite effect, women can tell quite clearly that he's in his head not in the moment. They can tell he's not happy unless she reacts well to him. This feels like a homeless man begging for change, yet they are baffled why women don't like them.

    The so called "asshole" who does well with women is more genuine and fun to be around. His priority is amusing himself. He doesn't care if she likes what he says, his comments are more genuine. She also gets the sense that he'll do things in bed to her that she really likes.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    1ZRed wrote:
    Nobody wants to end up with an aasshole
    Unless they are gay.

    Oh I wouldn't deny that and I'd say many the straight lad would only take it as an added bonus along with the rest :pac:


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    creeper1 wrote: »
    Nice does not equal weak. I accept that.

    And provided you are an alpha and carry yourself that way you will get action.

    However there is a tendency for women to be attracted to the confidence of a bad guy.

    The confidence is cockiness, self assuredness that bad boys exude.

    You can be like that and the knickers don't be long coming off :pac:
    Anyone who calls himself a bay boy is a fcuking retard!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd



    Because it attaches a trait to women as a whole rather than looking at women as individuals.

    It's akin to the oft trotted out line "all men are bastards".

    :)

    It doesn't mean they hate women, just means they might have a flawed perception of them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,857 ✭✭✭indough


    'nice guys' are just inauthentic people, it's just an act, nobody is really nice. try not giving a ****, and be yourself rather what you think everybody wants you to be


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,872 ✭✭✭Sittingpretty



    It doesn't mean they hate women, just means they might have a flawed perception of them.

    Good point, my choice of word could've been better I s'pose :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    creeper1 wrote: »
    Nice does not equal weak. I accept that.

    And provided you are an alpha and carry yourself that way you will get action.

    However there is a tendency for women to be attracted to the confidence of a bad guy.

    The confidence is cockiness, self assuredness that bad boys exude.

    You can be like that and the knickers don't be long coming off :pac:

    Why do so many of these nice lads just appear to criticise women for their choices? But it's them, not you ofc :rolleyes:

    Yeah, guys that are **** come across as being confident, that can be an attraction to people. But saying that you have to be cocky and an asshole or "bad boy" in order to be confident is ridiculous.

    I know a heap of guys who are great lads that treat their girlfriends well and are confident without being bad boys or **** to them.

    I don't think it's being an alpha male and being a nice guy that's your problem, it's your fecked up notions that where the problem lies. I notice all these vocal nice guys that are so hard done are mad for shifting blame off themselves onto women, and even other men. How is that an attractive quality?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,558 ✭✭✭seven_eleven


    Wait, can't I just be a genuinely nice person without everybody thinking I'm some sad whiner who has misogynistic complexes and gets upset over durr alpha stuff?

    I'm a nice person and not any of the above, nor am I like any of the negative hatred comments posted so far. I do agree with some of the sentiments though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,109 ✭✭✭MaxSteele


    What the f*ck constitutes a bad boy ? Some of you are watching too much TV.

    I find that a lot of men who you see with top mots are actually sound and not faux assholes.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,797 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    Because it attaches a trait to women as a whole rather than looking at women as individuals.

    It's akin to the oft trotted out line "all men are bastards".

    :)

    It's not exactly the same in fairness when there's an actual basis for the statement.
    Of course, the stupid thing is that people assume being confident = being a bastard. In all honesty I've only met one or two women in my life who genuinely are attracted to actually being mistreated - as in, they actually become more attracted to a guy if he cheats on them and is generally abusive - and the only conclusion I can come up with for them is that they are in fact masochists. Some guys are as well, in fairness. But it really is an exceptional minority, as I say I can only think of maybe two concrete examples out of all the girls I know, and most of their friends absolutely despise the guys in question and wouldn't go near them with a barge pole.

    But it's not offensive to state that women in general are wired to be attracted to someone who has testosterone driven characteristics such as being highly confident for example, any more than it's sexist to suggest that men in general are wired to be attracted to women who are more feminine, such as not having bulging six pack abs :p In pure instinctive terms your brain is simply looking for someone who you have a good chance of creating a healthy family with.

    I'm never too sure why people think it should be offensive to make observations about humans which are absolute gospel in the rest of the animal kingdom and aren't even questioned. Humans have natural instincts which we have to work VERY hard if we want to ignore and overcome, and there's nothing at all wrong with that - it's served nature well for the many billions of years that life has been evolving on this planet, and we are after all nothing but pawns in a much, much bigger picture.

    I feel we have far too much of an obsession in human culture with denying the fact that our conscious minds, the decisions we actively make and are fully aware of, genuinely only comprise a fairly small percentage of who we actually are. After all, I don't actively think to myself every two seconds "Squeeze those heart muscles", my brain does that without any input whatsoever from me. Why the shock and horror at the idea that such automatic impulses extend to other aspects of our lives as well? We wouldn't be here today if our impulses weren't generally good ones, we'd have long since been eaten by a bigger fish and that would have been the end of it.

    All that is of course a bit off topic, since the idea that being nice = being unattractive is widely accepted to be complete BS. I just find it funny when people suggest that it's actually offensive somehow to generalize humans based on evolutionary observations. :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,659 ✭✭✭Siuin


    A lot of the guys I know who claim they're single because they're too nice are actually kinda fugly.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,317 ✭✭✭✭Dodge


    MaxSteele wrote: »
    What the f*ck constitutes a bad boy ?

    a cool leather jacket and 'devil may care' attitude


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