My News

ashers22

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

What language are you learning ashers??

Im happy as a pig in sh*te today! Wine is open, I did my hair and make up and feel great, and looking forward to a nice day in my parents tomorrow

I'd say but I'd give away the identity of mystery hugger ! ... but yeah, Ima learning Italiano, slowly.

mattjack

I've decided to add a little bit of extra news about a conspiracy theory .

'Mrs Mattjack is convinced I move the kitchen chairs around when she's not looking'.

I think I might go to bed.

holystungun9

mattjack wrote: »

Here is my evening news.

My dog is out back barking his bollix off at something.

I am trying to write an essay about stuff and my brain won't let me .
I'm in work tomorrow and want to go to bed and my brain won't let me.

My dog is still barking ....... still barking ........still bar.....................

Dog + essay = "sorry teacher, the dog ate my essay" (life will just take care of itself after that).

foxinsox

My News:

Saturday is Tiswas, never a day to forget cos Saturday is Tiswas day!

Last night I was babysitting and tonight I am sitting.

I have lots of news infects I am bursting with news but it is all news not for sharing with poppers on the intern acos they could be mad poopers and astalk me. So the poopers will have to imagine all sorts if fabulous good news that is happening to me. It is not bad news or it is not fabulous news. It is just news.

I am tired from working very hard all week so I will go to bed now. This is the end of my news that I didn't tell.

fox

Mr_Spaceman

My News:

I went to bed last night after watching, yet again, an episode of popular Irish comedy, 'Father Ted'. It never fails to cheer me up on these cold nights.

It was the one where Ted was accused of being a racist, but he offered the Chinese community of Craggy Island free drink and, thankfully, god-willing, the row blew over. The Chinese = a great bunch of lads, as Ted rightly says. (I also ate too many crisps whilst enjoying my half hour of classic TV fun).

I admit I had a long lie in today which is bad, isn't it? People might think I am a bit lazy and they could well be right.

So out I went and bought newspapers and the weekly grocery shop. Food is getting very expensive these days. Well, according to a woman in the Irish Times who was giving off about it.

When I got home I heard my favourite soccer team had won. Hurrah! I then made my evening meal - 'Sicilian Pork'. Some tomato-ey thing. With potatoes and green beans. And luckily I had some rice pudding and pineapple rings left over for my afters. Now I am enjoying a cup of tea.

I have just read some of the Irish Times. I like reading the column by the nice lady Roisin Ingle (I bet she loves tea like me) and that boyo Ross O'Carroll-Kelly from the D4. He's quite a goy, isn't he?

I am not going out tonight because my friends like to spend their Saturday nights with their wives and girlfriends. I feel a wee bit sad that I am not going out to drink beer and, if I am lucky, kiss a nice girl. So to cheer myself up I am enjoying listening to a new song by an American man with long hair. It is surprisingly very good.

Tomorrow, I might go to the pub to watch many sweaty men on TV wrestle with each other. Scotland v Ireland in the rugby.

I am not a huge fan of the egg-chasing but the big games can be exciting. I expect the pub will be full of Irish people a long way from home. And full of drink on a Sunday afternoon too! I don't understand what some of them are saying, though. I expect they are from Kerry.

So that's all my news.


Mr_Spaceman

handbagmad

I would like to thank asher22 for the virtual hug last night. It was nice. I am still sad though. I am going to see the man I give 50 euros for 10mins to(Doctor) monday. I dont want to be sad no more.
In other news I made my doggie a big steak for his dinner he was soo happy.
I just had some wine so I will forget about being sad for a while.

Lots of love and merlot for everyone
mad
x

bnt

I'm off to London next weekend, for no particular reason other than to see the place again and absorb some culture. Four nights, three of them with activities: a TV show taping on Friday (The Last Leg), an improv comedy show on Sunday, and a concert (Steven Wilson) on Monday. If I wait long enough, I might even get rained on.

Stained Class

foxinsox wrote: »

Saturday is Tiswas, never a day to forget cos Saturday is Tiswas day!

I remember Tiswas. It was presented by Chris Tarrant & Sally James.

I remember looking at Sally on the telly & wondering why I was looking at women in a slightly diffrent & strangely weird way.

Sally was my first crush.

My ancient news.

Ihatecuddles-old

bnt wrote: »

I'm off to London next weekend, for no particular reason other than to see the place again and absorb some culture. Four nights, three of them with activities: a TV show taping on Friday (The Last Leg), an improv comedy show on Sunday, and a concert (Steven Wilson) on Monday. If I wait long enough, I might even get rained on.

Wow sounds great, really jealous that you're going to the last leg! Love that show Only started watching it recently, always has my in stitches.

Itwasntme.

Lisha wrote: »

I did not win the lotto
My 5.5yr old boy is devastated, as am I

As am I Lisha. As am I.

My news

I am drunk-ish. I kissed a boy. It was a nice kiss. A man wearing a neon green jacket knocked on the car window and told us we were parked in the wrong spot. We were not. We were parked right in front of my house. I felt guilty. The boy left.

I am happy and I love you all.

Bonne nuit mes amis. J'suis vraiment contente. But I don't think I'll kiss the boy again. It was nice but he's very grown up. I want a silly boy who talks about unicorns and stuff. But I am still very happy. It was a good evening.

Where To

My News

I am druunk yet agaon, holidays are a killer. There is a crowd of girls having a party in the room next to me.

That was my news

Where To

LizT

I'm watching an infomercial and I suddenly really want to buy a steam cleaner.

Itwasntme.

LizT wrote: »

I'm watching an infomercial and I suddenly really want to buy a steam cleaner.

Haha. I love that steam cleaner infomercial. Every time I see it I am convinced, it will clean away all of my troubles. I've been tempted to buy it a few times myself.

cuana

My News!

I'm sooooo tired!

Every morning this week I've been woken up by a very intelligent 2year who knows her Auntie is around by dutifully waking up at exactly 6am every morning & screaming my name repeatedly until I get up! she couldn't pronounce it last week so foolishly I spent an age with her so that she'd learn it

Yesterday I dropped my parents off to a wedding & stayed locally so they'd have a lift home the following thinking yes a sleep in! I'm Woken up this morning at 7am so that my Dad could get home to the fcuken COWS! :mad:

I packed my bags I'm off to to my own space for a rest

1ZRed

My weekend.

Went out
Got loaded
Got my arse squeezed by two drunk girls
Went to a match
Got more loaded
Spent the night away
Got the ride
Got slightly more loaded
Came back, ate, want to go again.

Getting off this and heading to a bar

Auntie Psychotic

My News

I went to bed last night and slept from half 9 and slept until half 12 today, it was amazing
I'm now cuddled up on the couch, watching Netflix, and keeping track of the Harty Cup Final on Twitter.
It's a pretty chilled Sunday Although I have to work tonight

That's my news

Auntie P

Son0vagun

I found some jars that where in a box that was in a safe that had been buried in two foot of concrete. That's my news.

Esoteric_

My news:

Working twelve days, with one day off for college.

Went out last night after work, and came into work seriously hungover this morning.

Lost another few pounds because I haven't really had time to eat. :pac:

Just about debt free, one more week and my debts are cleared!

Found my favourite red lipstick that's been missing for over a month.

Getting seriously creeped out by an older guy who works in a shop behind my stand. He keeps coming up to me from behind, grabbing my waist or playing with my hair, or blowing air on my face, for no reason other than to talk to me. I'm young enough to be his granddaughter!

herisson

My news
I'm in the pub watching the rugby. I'm a little drunk I love predictive text

MintyDoris

I had a lie in this morning for the first time in months. I slept like a snoring starfish in the bed by myself for 2 whole hours. I feel soooo much better now.

Then I read a thread about a man who opened a safe with a grinder.

I'm waiting on MILs roast chicken and then I am going to Tesco to buy cereal and kit kats. Then I will give my wriggly daughter a bath, do the hoovering and go to bed

ashers22

Son0vagun wrote: »

I found some jars that where in a box that was in a safe that had been buried in two foot of concrete. That's my news.

legend

Gummy Panda

Panda is tired and found it hard getting out of the bed this morning. Since it is Sunday, its time for Spartacus the show with tits in it. I wish Andy Whitfield didn't die. He was a better Spartacus.

I am now contemplating buying these. I have been told they are like ninjas on your feet.

Mr_Spaceman

My News:

I had planned to go into central London today to go shopping and update my wardrobe, as I was reading somewhere that men have to sharpen up their image now and then. I agreed with this advice. However, I stayed in bed for far too long instead which was very annoying when I think about it.

Anyway. I then got up and made my breakfast and watched the egg-chasing on TV. Ireland lost. I was a little bit sad for a few minutes but then I remembered I had to go out and buy a new pair of jeans because the ones I was wearing had a large hole in the arse. Nice girls wouldn't like that at all. It's not a good 'look', is it?

So I went to the shop and bought a nice new pair. And luckily for me they were nine pounds cheaper than normal which was a nice surprise. Those nine pounds, I thought, were far better in the back pocket of my new jeans than for some rich man in a suit running a chain of shops.

Then, with a spring in my step at such luck, I decided to go and have an overpriced coffee in a large chain of coffee shops. I had a read of the sports pages and then I came home.

I am now drinking a cup of tea and listening to the radio and wondering what the week has in store for me. I have also sent messages to some nice looking girls on an internet dating site. If they don't reply they are obviously not as nice as I had originally thought.

Well that's all my news.


Mr_S

Mr.Crinklewood

Skateboarded on my nephews skateboard today.

I fell off.

foxinsox

My News:

It is Sunday nearly Monday. Today I had my breakfast in Eddie Rockets it was very nice. It will probably make me be all fat but I don't mind acos it was nice.

I was aposed to do housework today but i didn't really do much at all. I pretended to do stuff but kept stopping for talking on the phone to friends and smoking and eating. I did lots of washing in my washing machine then acos there was snow i turned the heating on blaster turbo and put all my washing incloding knickers and socks on all the radiators and then my whole house smelled like a spring fresh meadow like on the fabric conditioner bottle.

I have reaavaluateding my decision not to ever kiss boys again, I am not definitely anymore but more of a maybe i might if the boy was very nice and looked gorgeouser than any other boy.

I was reading boards on the internet while not doing my housework and i did read something about a man who is older than me who likes womans that are older than my granny. That is a bit i dunno what but maybe it exsplains why there are not too many boys my age that want to be kissing acos maybe they are kissing all the granny women. That is somethign that i will have to think about probably better not think about it too much acos that could make my brains asplode.

I might kiss boys that are not as old as me acos boys who are younger than me want to kiss me i don't know why acos i am an aul one but they seem to be mad to bring me out and they is promisesing me lots of pleasure i might just do that acos my greatest pleasure is a cup of tea and a bit of toast, wonder if that is their pleasure they are talking about.

the end

fox


Correction:

There was a misprint in my earlier news, I apologise profusely for any upset or trauma caused. This is the correct Tiswas theme tune:

"Saturday is Tiswas, never a day to miss cos Saturday is Tiswas day"

NegativeCreep

Will someone PLEASE ride foxinsox before I explode! :pac:

BUBBLE WRAP

My news.

I'm going for a smoke soon. I ate a rasher sandwedge that mammy made for my lunch. I had 6 rashers on it, it also had a lot of YR brown sauce. Can't bate it. I also had a banana, twix, 2 bags of Tayto, pear, a cruchy corner and a baga sweets. Looking forward to dinner already..... I also for got to applie for college so ...WHOOOOOPS!

That was my news

Bw.

Gummy Panda

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Will someone PLEASE ride foxinsox before I explode! :pac:

I need to see pics first

Czarcasm

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I need to see pics first

Don't do it foxy, all a panda does is eats shoots and leaves!

KTRIC

Decided to take the path less travelled this morning on the way to work. Slipped on some ice and went tumbling to the ground

Now I've got a sore bum

Czarcasm

KTRIC wrote: »

Decided to take the path less travelled this morning on the way to work. Slipped on some ice and went tumbling to the ground

Now I've got a sore bum

*grabs tannoy to make announcement over the school speaker system*

"Paging Dr. kfallon to the news thread, Dr. kfallon to the news thread"

orestes

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Will someone PLEASE ride foxinsox before I explode! :pac:

Not till she gets a dolphin, the penguin would get lonely.

Itwasntme.

KTRIC wrote: »

Decided to take the path less travelled this morning on the way to work. Slipped on some ice and went tumbling to the ground

Now I've got a sore bum

I am sorry KTRIC but I laughed .

I've had a really bad headache for the last 3 days and sometimes it makes me vomit. I threw up my breakfast and my lunch today. I think it's my sinus issues. It's really annoying. I missed an day trip to the mountains yesterday because of it and now today I've had to ring in sick to work. I feel bad because I'm a teacher and my students have an important exam next week, but there's nothing I can do. I hate being ill.

Pumpkinseeds

I had a nightmare last night, woke up soaked in sweat, got up for a glass of water and then had to get back into a cold,sweat dampened side of the bed. Woke up with a headache, my toast got cold before I could butter it. Just after I buttered my cold toast I spilled my coffee all over the toast, hadn't even had a sip of coffee or a bite of toast, and had to make more toast.

Had a bicker over the phone about something petty with my dad. Managed to knock our wedding photo off the mantlepiece while dusting and the glass smashed. Should have stayed in bed, then again I had to change the sweat soaked sheets:(

robman60

I slept surprisingly well for a Sunday night, and got up in good time. I walked to school because I feel somewhat of a civic duty recently, passing on the world to the next generation as you received it and all that.

Got 92% in the maths test I did last Friday, very happy of course. As always, I was still dissatisfied, silly mistakes.

Started watching Casablanca in English class which seems surprisingly interesting for a 71 year old film, looking forward to watching the rest.

Just before lunch our principal disrupts our class and starts rambling on about behavioural issues or something. What he was saying was barely coherent anyway. The result was I missed the first five minutes of my break anyway...


I come home and see I had two missed calls from a Dublin number. I was ecstatic because I'd entered a competition in the Indo and was sure I'd won and was being contacted regarding the prize. I ring the number, heart in my mouth, only for it to be AXA insurance.

That's it peeps, fuck my luck.

1ZRed

I was like a zombie today from lack of sleep and I ended up kind of hitting into one of my mates' old girlfriends and her friend in the shop, but I was so sleep deprived I just banked them. I only realised the situation when I got out and now she probably thinks I'm a dickhead.

At the minute I'm in one of bisexual phases and I'm thinking of girls and noticing them a lot, though I'd always notice a hot looking girl before anyway. Of course I'm not going to act on it since I'm with someone obviously.

Today was like a summer's day and I should've done my work out. Instead I ate jelly tots and played a game. I don't even like sweets

I might head out for a few and meet some mates later.

kfallon

Monday is over, thank the lord fooking Jaysus!

1ZRed

robman60 wrote: »

I slept surprisingly well for a Sunday night, and got up in good time. I walked to school because I feel somewhat of a civic duty recently, passing on the world to the next generation as you received it and all that.

Got 92% in the maths test I did last Friday, very happy of course. As always, I was still dissatisfied, silly mistakes.

Started watching Casablanca in English class which seems surprisingly interesting for a 71 year old film, looking forward to watching the rest.

Just before lunch our principal disrupts our class and starts rambling on about behavioural issues or something. What he was saying was barely coherent anyway. The result was I missed the first five minutes of my break anyway...


I come home and see I had two missed calls from a Dublin number. I was ecstatic because I'd entered a competition in the Indo and was sure I'd won and was being contacted regarding the prize. I ring the number, heart in my mouth, only for it to be AXA insurance.

That's it peeps, fuck my luck.

Ah, that's how it starts. Soon you'll be riding 74 year old pensioners and bulk buying K-Y jelly

herisson

I woke up early this morning and cleaned most of the house because I really had nothing to do today. I'm still really tired I didn't sleep for ages last night. I made jam for my dad too. He is the only one in my family who likes jam. I need a hobby again or more hours in work.

Mr. CooL ICE

I sliced my finger open in the middle of slicing vegetables. I ran to the bathroom and covered my finger in toilet paper while waiting for the bleeding to die down. There was a lot of blood for the size of the cut. I cleaned it up, hurriedly put on a plaster and went back to cooking.

Anyway, when I was done with the food prep, I went back to the bathroom to change the plaster. I realised I never flushed, and by then, the blood-soaked toilet paper had made my toilet look like somebody badly 'perioded' there. I laughed solidly for about five minutes before wondering "wtf is wrong with me?"

NegativeCreep

orestes wrote: »

Not till she gets a dolphin, the penguin would get lonely.

Gonna have to do the job myself it seems :L

Abi

kfallon wrote: »

Monday is over, thank the lord fooking Jaysus!

^ This!


I had a very restless sleep last night, so I was like a zombie today.


I'm also suffering safe thread withdrawals

MintyDoris

MintyDoris wrote: »

I had a lie in this morning for the first time in months. I slept like a snoring starfish in the bed by myself for 2 whole hours. I feel soooo much better now.

Then I read a thread about a man who opened a safe with a grinder.

I'm waiting on MILs roast chicken and then I am going to Tesco to buy cereal and kit kats. Then I will give my wriggly daughter a bath, do the hoovering and go to bed

I forgot the kit kats and still haven't done the hoovering

There was lots of snow on the ground this morning so I didn't go for my daily walk cuz I was afraid of slipping as I carried the buggy down the steps. Thats not the only reason I didn't go. I didn't go cuz I was lazy

I am going to sit down and have a cup of tea and a (3) tiffin squares, talk about doing the hoovering and go to bed

MadYaker

I was drunk for most of last week so this week I need to actually get some work done. It was a fairly productive day, I had a few lectures in the morning and finished an essay. I curbed an alloy on my car when parking this morning which annoyed me. But I just found a packet of reese's peanut butter cups in my room. Delighted.

Thats my news.

Gummy Panda

Some lad kept hovering around panda in the squat rack. Panda was worried he was trying to gay out on panda. That or he was narcissist and kept checking himself out in the mirror you use to check form.

Afterwards panda thought maybe he was fantasizing about checking himself out while gaying out on panda like in American Psycho. I'm glad I didn't have earphones in or he might try take them out.

NegativeCreep

My news,
Today I found out I have an admirer on boards. It's name is SKF. This man/woman/bot has thanked every single one of my post bar 4 of my first ever posts.
This man/woman/bot is clearly gagging for the D.

In other news, it has been a lovely day. I had a nice and fun day in college and made plans for the weekend I cannot wait.
I have a test tomorrow but I'm in too good a mood to study for it. I've had a run of good luck recently so maybe I don't even need to!

Where To

My News

Today is Monday. I was drunk all weekend. I went to a football match and I also did some bold things. I am back home now and will be a good boy again for another few weeks.

That was My News

Where To

PS It is cold.

Mr_Spaceman

My News:

It is very cold in London today. And my bus failed to come and I was shivering for ten whole minutes. So then I trudged over to take the tube home instead.

It was a very comfy journey but it cost me £1.30 more. And all because the bus people don't know their arses from their elbows.

My tube journey told me one thing, people: You can never beat The Man. He always has his hand out for something or other.

I am now home having a cup of tea, listening to the radio, and, more importantly, catching up on everyone's news.

So that's my news anyway.


Mr_S

orestes

Here is my news.

Today is Monday. Lots of people don't like Mondays because it means they have to go back to school or work, some rats from boomtown even wrote a song about not liking Mondays but it was really about a girl who shooted other people because she didn't like Mondays, so unless you shooted a load of people today you don't hate Mondays as much as she does, so lucky you.

I hurt my knee at judo class tonight, I must not have been paying close enough attention when they tried to teach me how to fall over properly. Maybe I need a different pair of big white pyjamas to fall over in.

I started reading a book called Cloud Atlas because they made a movie film about it that everyone is going to be able to watch in the cinema from later this week and I want to see the film but I always prefer to read the books of movie films before I watch them. It's a good book so far.

I got hungry a few minutes ago so I got some bread and cheese and stuck them under the grill together. Now I haz toasted cheese sandwiches. Nyom nyom nyom.

That is my news.