Not interested or just out of your league?

Daveysil15

TheUsual wrote: »

Nonsense.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Russia

"Sex Ratio.
15-64 years : 0.92 male(s)/female (male 48,864,763 / female 53,048,315)"

So about the same as every other country on the planet.

Yeah well...

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/8612141-women-far-outnumber-the-men-in-russia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alj5F9g9OhY

There is a demographic crisis there. The fact is women do out number the men there.

April O Neill

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Yeah well...

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/8612141-women-far-outnumber-the-men-in-russia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alj5F9g9OhY

There is a demographic crisis there. The fact is women do out number the men there.

They do. But not even 2:1, never mind 3:1.

Daveysil15

April O Neill wrote: »

They do. But not even 2:1, never mind 3:1.

It's 3:1 in some parts, not overall. Anyway I was just making the point that if you have fewer options to choose from, then you're less likely to find someone who would be considered out of your league.

TheUsual

Daveysil15 wrote: »

It's 3:1 in some parts, not overall. Anyway I was just making the point that if you have fewer options to choose from, then you're less likely to find someone who would be considered out of your league.

What parts exactly ?
Care to educate us to your dream Russian city with 75% women ?


Maybe you have been on russianwifes.com too much ?

Daveysil15

TheUsual wrote: »

What parts exactly ?
Care to educate us to your dream Russian city with 75% women ?


Maybe you have been on russianwifes.com too much ?

It was only a matter of time before the Russian wifes was mentioned. :rolleyes:

What does it matter? I've made my point. I'm not saying anymore as we're starting to go off topic. Do your own research on the place.

April O Neill

Daveysil15 wrote: »

It's 3:1 in some parts, not overall. Anyway I was just making the point that if you have fewer options to choose from, then you're less likely to find someone who would be considered out of your league.

It's a factor, one of many. I haven't seen any stats anywhere though that indicate 75% women to 25% men in any age group in Russia though. It would never be that skewed, anywhere.

Raekwon

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I think location plays a part too. A woman who you might think is way out of your league here, could be completely average somewhere else. In Russia for example, the women out number the men by about 3 to 1, so the whole league thing is probably not an issue for the guys there as they'd have their pick of the litter. Someone with plenty of options can afford to be picky.

Your first too sentences were totally spot on but I agree with other posters that the ratio's that you gave were slightly over the top. There are definitely more women then men in Russia but nothing like 3:1.

In Ireland I think that men slightly outnumber women by a small margin but the ratios start to get silly when you look at the pub or club scene, as men always seem to out number women by as much as 3:1 in those scenarios (the the words 'sausage fest' instantly springs to mind).

I find that interesting because I was in Tallinn last year and I could not get over the amount of women that I saw in pubs and clubs compared to men. It was like the polar opposite to Ireland.

A quick Google confirms that the Baltic states of Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania have far more women then men. Also women from that part of the world are usually absolutely stunning looking too which is a major bonus

ViveLaVie

karaokeman wrote: »

I agree it is rare that women you may find stunning are single, unless (and it can happen) you first meet that stunning woman pretty soon after a breakup (and it has to be soon), you just may get lucky.

Bit of a generalisation there. It's not true at all IME.The most stunning girls I know are single except for one or two and have been for ages. They are very selective about who they date.

Peanut Butter Jelly

One thing I find about the better looking girls it that some of them have their nose in the air. I don't mind them, but there is better girls to be with IMO.

Daveysil15

Peanut Butter Jelly wrote: »

One thing I find about the better looking girls it that some of them have their nose in the air. I don't mind them, but there is better girls to be with IMO.

There are plenty of average looking girls like that too though, thinking they're Gods gift when they're actually very plain. It's nice when you find someone who has both the looks and the personality. You shouldn't have to settle for one or the other.

Daveysil15

Daveysil15 wrote: »

There are plenty of average looking girls like that too though, thinking they're Gods gift when they're actually very plain.

So are they average, or are they very plain? They can't be both?:)

It's nice when you find someone who has both the looks and the personality. You shouldn't have to settle for one or the other.

So you have both yourself?

SuperInfinity

Candie wrote: »

So are they average, or are they very plain? They can't be both?:)

He said they are average and they are very plain. That makes sense since they are practically synonyms (thanks chrome spelling detector!).

April O Neill

Daveysil15 wrote: »

There are plenty of average looking girls like that too though, thinking they're Gods gift when they're actually very plain. It's nice when you find someone who has both the looks and the personality. You shouldn't have to settle for one or the other.

It mightn't be settling though. You might like someone considered "plain" to others.

Galwayguy35

How does anyone know they are really good looking though?

I've seen some posters say that they are good looking but I think it's a bit strange for someone to look at themselves in the mirror and think "wow I'm really good looking".

cantdecide

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

How does anyone know they are really good looking though? I've seen some posters say that they are good looking but I think it's a bit strange for someone to look at themselves in the mirror and think "wow I'm really good looking".

I was a little interested in this recently and I set this poll to see how objective people were. In round figures, out of 466 voters, 20% of people thought they were ugly or below average. 30% thought they were average. 50% of people thought they were above average or attractive. You can draw your own conclusions.

I think by and large it's not that hard to have a reasonable idea. Some people look at the evidence of how often the are checked out or hit on. Some people can assess themselves and find some or no features they wouldn't find attractive in other people. I think some people can be attractive despite serious hang-ups. But generally, most people will have a reasonable fair assessment of themselves.

Myself, I look in the mirror and wonder what the Uparwala was thinking about but I still get checked out now and again. One of the most attractive ladies I know genuinely would never believe it despite all the evidence. This humbleness only contributes to her attractiveness. She's always been in relationships with really great (and very good looking) guys. I knew a guy like this too. I remember thinking when I met him 'wow, that's a good looking guy'. If you were out and about, he would be hit on constantly but he felt very awkwardly about all the attention.

Daveysil15

April O Neill wrote: »

It mightn't be settling though. You might like someone considered "plain" to others.

Ohh off course that's true. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. I was just making the point that anybody can think they're Gods gift regardless of how they look.

beks101

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

How does anyone know they are really good looking though?

I've seen some posters say that they are good looking but I think it's a bit strange for someone to look at themselves in the mirror and think "wow I'm really good looking".

I don't think these people are Zoolanderesque about themselves, just more that they don't think they were beat too severely with the ugly stick.

I guess there's a few ways of gauging - the amount of attention you attract, how people react to you, how you look in photos etc but I think generally pretty people, even those with serious self esteem issues, will tend to know that they're pretty.

April O Neill

beks101 wrote: »

I don't think these people are Zoolanderesque about themselves, just more that they don't think they were beat too severely with the ugly stick.

I guess there's a few ways of gauging - the amount of attention you attract, how people react to you, how you look in photos etc but I think generally pretty people, even those with serious self esteem issues, will tend to know that they're pretty.

Yeah, people do know. The only time it's a problem, IMO, is if they think that because of it they should get special treatment or be shocked that someone they're interested in turns them down. If you realise you are good-looking but aren't a total twat because of it then no harm. :pac:

Daveysil15

I've worked with a lot of models and you'd be amazed at how self-conscious some of them are about certain body parts. It's like they know they're attractive, but there is always at least one thing that they hate about themselves.

One girl showed me a picture of a skinny model in a magazine, saying how she'd love to have a figure like hers. I could see she was a bit self-conscious about her weight, but to me she was 10 times hotter than the girl in the magazine.

jaffacakesyum

April O Neill wrote: »

It mightn't be settling though. You might like someone considered "plain" to others.

Yeah to be honest the sooner people stop classing everyone into 'average' 'below average' 'above average' 'too much above average' etc. the better.

anonymous2013

If you start only going for whats ''attractive'' as opposed to who is compatible then they ARE out of your league

April O Neill

Daveysil15 wrote: »

but there is always at least one thing that they hate about themselves.

Well, that's pretty much all women, model or not.

The thing about modelling is they have their appearance ripped apart, day in day out. You'd need to be very thick-skinned for that not to get to you.

Daveysil15

anonymous2013 wrote: »

If you start only going for whats ''attractive'' as opposed to who is compatible then they ARE out of your league

Not necessarily, you can have both. An average looking person to you, could be very attractive and compatible with me, or vice versa.

April O Neill wrote: »

Well, that's pretty much all women, model or not.

The thing about modelling is they have their appearance ripped apart, day in day out. You'd need to be very thick-skinned for that not to get to you.

Absolutely, not to mention the fact that most models over the age of 30 would be considered too old. Also, the boyfriends of some of these models wouldn't exactly be great looking, and many would think they weren't in the same league.

If you go out with the mindset that a certain person is out of your league, then they will be out of your league.

April O Neill

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Absolutely, not to mention the fact that most models over the age of 30 21 or 22 would be considered too old.

FYP, internationally anyway. :-/ Not so much in the domestic scene.

Daveysil15

April O Neill wrote: »

FYP, internationally anyway. :-/ Not so much in the domestic scene.

Ahh I don't think so. That maybe the case with talent scouts or top agencies looking for new fashion models, but there's plenty of other genre's that models in their mid - late 20's can get into if they have the right look.

April O Neill

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Ahh I don't think so. That maybe the case with talent scouts or top agencies looking for new fashion models, but there's plenty of other genre's that models in their mid - late 20's can get into if they have the right look.

For fashion, catalogue and lingerie, unless you are a big name, you're old hat by your mid-20s. (except maybe catalogues for older women)

Pug160

This thread is over a year old, so if the mods close it, fair enough. But I was just looking through it there and The Corinthian's post struck a chord with me. In my own personal experience, non verbal interactions with women can often go quite well, much better than when I go up and make small talk. I just think it's interesting, because there seems to be a widely held belief that going up and charming someone verbally plays a big part in attraction. While that may be true in some cases, I am beginning to think that non verbal communication plays a bigger part than some people realise. The implications of that may be that in some cases, going up to approach someone who likes you physically is a case of damage limitation. In other words, the less talk the better. It's all very cynical looking at it like that of course. Interesting though.

Daveysil15

Pug160 wrote: »

This thread is over a year old, so if the mods close it, fair enough. But I was just looking through it there and The Corinthian's post struck a chord with me. In my own personal experience, non verbal interactions with women can often go quite well, much better than when I go up and make small talk. I just think it's interesting, because there seems to be a widely held belief that going up and charming someone verbally plays a big part in attraction. While that may be true in some cases, I am beginning to think that non verbal communication plays a bigger part than some people realise. The implications of that may be that in some cases, going up to approach someone who likes you physically is a case of damage limitation. In other words, the less talk the better. It's all very cynical looking at it like that of course. Interesting though.

In what way, or to what extent? Body language certainly plays a big part, but it will only get you so far. I think it becomes more difficult to read body language as the night progresses and people become more inebriated.

Pug160

Daveysil15 wrote: »

In what way, or to what extent? Body language certainly plays a big part, but it will only get you so far. I think it becomes more difficult to read body language as the night progresses and people become more inebriated.

Making eye contact with someone and then smiling. Doing it a couple more times and then seeing her playing with her hair a lot. That's a recent example. I was standing with a group of friends and she was standing with a group of hers. It's not even so much body language in those scenarios, it's just a gesture that's reciprocated. I guess the last time it happened I just had a little epiphany. Of course, it's a catch 22 in some cases - you still need to talk to some extent if you want to take it to the next level, but this belief by some people that you need to talk a lot or be really outgoing is a falsehood in my opinion. In fact, I'd say waffling too much can actually kill attraction in some cases.

I think it's about playing to your strengths. If you're good socially and you're a good confident talker you can certainly work it in your favour. But I think less is more in some cases. Also, it seems to me that a lot of guys are trying to sell themselves to women who are already interested, and in doing so manage to put them them off. It's quite sad in a way.

burnhardlanger

The phrase "can do better" stuck a chord with me.

I met my girlfriend through her making friends with my sister in law.
We started going out and after a few weeks my sister in law's mother suggested to my girlfriend (who she had known for circa two hours) that in reference to me;

"You are a lovely girl, you could do a lot better for yourself."

A crude observation primarily based on Looks. Now I am not classically good looking, I'm certainly not Quasimodo either. While attractiveness plays an initial factor, it is really only an ingredient in any attraction between two people. So a league does exist and my sister in law's mother seems to have me firmly in the lower leagues Other factors in any relationship include sense of humour, personality, intelligence, dependability, ambition etc etc, traits which the sister in law's mother would not know me well enough to take into consideration of me as a potential mate.

Pawwed Rig

burnhardlanger wrote: »

"You are a lovely girl, you could do a lot better for yourself.".

Charming woman

burnhardlanger wrote: »

While attractiveness plays an initial factor, it is really only an ingredient in any attraction between two people.

It is a very small ingredient after a couple of months with a person.

Whatsgonewrong

I rarely approach woman anymore, being young (22) and bald I think there Is no point whatsoever, because you know WHEN they turn you down that I know the reason and It Is depressing as ****

Daveysil15

Whatsgonewrong wrote: »

I rarely approach woman anymore, being young (22) and bald I think there Is no point whatsoever, because you know WHEN they turn you down that I know the reason and It Is depressing as ****

That may not ALWAYS be the reason though, and not everyone is turned off by baldness.

Chazz Michael Michaels

karaokeman wrote: »

So do you guys ever feel if you are turned down by a very attractive girl, its because she's "out of your league" or does it occur to you that you just happen to find that person attractive but they don't feel the same way.

I still here some people raving on about this said quote, but is it just a dramatic movie quote that was blown out of proportion, or does it often hold through to life?

I had an online date recently, she turned up and was waaaay better looking than her photo, just stunning. But I could tell by the look on her face that I wasn't "in her league". It was so awkward, but out of politeness we both marched on. Second worst date ever.

Daveysil15

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

I had an online date recently, she turned up and was waaaay better looking than her photo, just stunning. But I could tell by the look on her face that I wasn't "in her league". It was so awkward, but out of politeness we both marched on. Second worst date ever.

Presumably she would have seen a photo of you prior to meeting up? If I went on a date with someone who I didn't find attractive, I'd just put it down to that - not been attracted to them. I don't believe in the whole league thing myself.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Presumably she would have seen a photo of you prior to meeting up? If I went on a date with someone who I didn't find attractive, I'd just put it down to that - not been attracted to them. I don't believe in the whole league thing myself.

I had a few, maybe I look different in them, she certainly did in hers!

Daveysil15

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

I had a few, maybe I look different in them, she certainly did in hers!

Yeah judging a person based on their photos can be tricky alright. I did the whole online dating thing and while some girls look better in the flesh, others are experts at choosing flattering angles and crops to make themselves look better.

GardenMadness

Daveysil15 wrote: »

That may not ALWAYS be the reason though, and not everyone is turned off by baldness.

True, to be honest, I've never heard a woman say that baldness was a factor. But a negative, self defeating attitude wouldn't encourage you to think that this is someone you really must get to know.

Whatsgonewrong

Daveysil15 wrote: »

That may not ALWAYS be the reason though, and not everyone is turned off by baldness.

True there are so many more reasons to be turned off by me ! lol

Daveysil15

Whatsgonewrong wrote: »

True there are so many more reasons to be turned off by me ! lol

Exactly. A lot of short guys use the height thing as an excuse too, but there could be any other number of reasons why a certain woman doesn't find you attractive.

Galwayguy35

GardenMadness wrote: »

True, to be honest, I've never heard a woman say that baldness was a factor. But a negative, self defeating attitude wouldn't encourage you to think that this is someone you really must get to know.

I have, met someone for a first date a few years ago and it was one of the first things she mentioned, I'm conscious of the fact already and really didn't need it pointed out to me.

Needless to say there was no second date by mutual agreement.

Pug160

burnhardlanger wrote: »

The phrase "can do better" stuck a chord with me.

I met my girlfriend through her making friends with my sister in law.
We started going out and after a few weeks my sister in law's mother suggested to my girlfriend (who she had known for circa two hours) that in reference to me;

"You are a lovely girl, you could do a lot better for yourself."

A crude observation primarily based on Looks.

Are you certain that there wasn't more to it than that? We all have those thoughts in our head from time to time, but to be as brutally honest as that is quite rare I would have thought. The most judgmental people are often the most insecure. Maybe she wished she was the ''lovely girl'' herself, because in her mind, the lovely girl had the world at her feet, and she didn't. Maybe she thought the girl had low self esteem or she couldn't comprehend the notion that personality plays a large part in attraction.

Whatsgonewrong wrote: »

I rarely approach woman anymore, being young (22) and bald I think there Is no point whatsoever, because you know WHEN they turn you down that I know the reason and It Is depressing as ****

Well we've all heard that one before. If you're bald, work on other aspects of your appearance. Baldness in itself doesn't have a major impact on how you're viewed. Some women don't like bald men, but only a minority would put it down as a major turn off.

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

I had an online date recently, she turned up and was waaaay better looking than her photo, just stunning. But I could tell by the look on her face that I wasn't "in her league". It was so awkward, but out of politeness we both marched on. Second worst date ever.

Well I have to say, that's quite rare. Women are usually quite good at making themselves appear more attractive in pictures. If she met you, then you must have shown that you had some qualities, otherwise she wouldn't have agreed to the date. By the way, I think there are many reasons why a woman might have that disappointed look. Maybe there was no chemistry or she just had one of those stoic faces.

Pug160

Most people tend to assume that when an attractive woman is with an ordinary looking man, she had plenty of choices but still chose the ordinary looking man because she really liked him for a number of reasons. But when a decent looking man is with a plain Jane or below average looking woman, a lot of people automatically assume that the man has 'settled' for her because he couldn't do any better.

Daveysil15

Pug160 wrote: »

Most people tend to assume that when an attractive woman is with an ordinary looking man, she had plenty of choices but still choose the ordinary looking man because she really liked him for a number of reasons. But when a decent looking man is with a plain Jane or below average looking woman, a lot of people automatically assume that the man has 'settled' for her because he couldn't do any better.

Are you sure about that or is it just what you assume? The plain jane may have plenty of other attributes that a man likes. Besides, what's plain for you could be attractive to someone else.

Pug160

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Are you sure about that or is it just what you assume? The plain jane may have plenty of other attributes that a man likes. Besides, what's plain for you could be attractive to someone else.

I think a lot of men think that way - although I'm not so sure about women. I might be more inclined to think the man has settled if he's shy or is not great socially etc. So it depends. Only the person themselves truly knows.

astonaidan

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Yeah judging a person based on their photos can be tricky alright. I did the whole online dating thing and while some girls look better in the flesh, others are experts at choosing flattering angles and crops to make themselves look better.

One of main reasons I didnt stick online dating, some off the prettiest girls I know arent great in photos, same with some off the best looking guys.
But yet we are still judging people in online dating on these principles.

Daveysil15

astonaidan wrote: »

One of main reasons I didnt stick online dating, some off the prettiest girls I know arent great in photos, same with some off the best looking guys.
But yet we are still judging people in online dating on these principles.

That's often the case alright. There is a girl I work with who is very good looking; pretty face, great figure and all that. The other day I was looking creeping through her photos on facebook and she doesn't photograph well at all. If I saw her on a dating site I probably wouldn't contact her.

Then there are other profiles where the girl only has 2 photos and she looks great in one but terrible in the other. It's such a minefield.

Pawwed Rig

This is assuming that you are selecting your potential partner solely on the basis of looks. If this is the case all of your dating will fail, not just OD. Judging people on who they are and their compatibility with you will give you better results in the long term.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

This is assuming that you are selecting your potential partner solely on the basis of looks. If this is the case all of your dating will fail, not just OD. Judging people on who they are and their compatibility with you will give you better results in the long term.

Very difficult to tell that by reading a profile.

Daveysil15

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

Very difficult to tell that by reading a profile.

I agree, especially if they have feck all in their description.