Gay as a derogatory term.

kneemos

Why is calling someone gay automatically perceived as an insult?

Where To

Is it? Maybe by 12 year old snickering schoolkids but I don't think it is, generally.

Agricola

Ghey?

MagicMarker

Where To wrote: »

Is it?

Sometimes it can be intended that way, ya big gay.

Yamanoto

Possibly all that sanctimonious crap he came out with, as spokesman for the Road Safety Association.

squod

Thread will end in tears.

Where To

MagicMarker wrote: »

Sometimes it can be intended that way, ya big gay.

How dare you call me that!! I've never been so insulted in my whole life!!

Big?! Big?! Why you little. . . . .

admiralofthefleet

im good friends with a gay chap, who is a brilliant and strict barman. he hates 'the screamers' as he calls them (the feminine gay men) and used to call them 'gay bastards' a lot when our group would be out drinking and one was in the vacinity.

Gongoozler

Languages evolve naturally, all the time. Dick is an insult, so is prick, **** etc etc. I'm sure when these started being used people were questioning why it was an insult to call someone a penis.

kneemos

Where To wrote: »

Is it? Maybe by 12 year old snickering schoolkids but I don't think it is, generally.

It's quite common for young and old,I've even heard "educated"people in the media use it as an implied insult

HowAreWe

cartell_best

When Bebo was at its peak in 1996/1997, someone who I knew very little about or knew me only through friends of friends, said about me "he's straight, he's just using being ghey as an excuse" and used it as a main comment. I am not bulls*hitting you, I didn't spend the previous 10 or 15 years pretending to be gay just so my female friends would sleep in the same bed as me. To call me straight, was a huge smack in the teeth. To this day I still remember it.. It genuinely was an insult...that's just me is all.

Tombi!

cartell_best wrote: »

When Bebo was at its peak in 1996/1997, someone who I knew very little about or knew me only through friends of friends, said about me "he's straight, he's just using being ghey as an excuse" and used it as a main comment. I am not bulls*hitting you, I didn't spend the previous 10 or 15 years pretending to be gay just so my female friends would sleep in the same bed as me. To call me straight, was a huge smack in the teeth. To this day I still remember it.. It genuinely was an insult...that's just me is all.

Bebo was around in 1996/1997?

cartell_best

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

Bebo was around in 1996/1997?

Ya see, I've just proven time travel...(haha, sorry, 2006/2007 haha)

3ndahalfof6

kneemos wrote: »

Why is calling someone gay automatically perceived as an insult?

It is how your brain computes, you need an upgrade.

dan1895

In before "gaaaaayyy" seal

kodoherty93

I cant understand someone over the age of 12 seeing it as a decent adjective to describe anything. Generally people that use it have never spoken to a gay person and see that a lot of "gay" are far more masculine than they will be...

Dan savage sums it up in this clip

http://youtu.be/7Y8mtdUn_QU

BraziliaNZ

This thread is gay ffs

3ndahalfof6

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

This thread is gay ffs

It will not let you go threw the eye of the needle.

PhlegmyMoses

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

im good friends with a gay chap, who is a brilliant and strict barman. he hates 'the screamers' as he calls them (the feminine gay men) and used to call them 'gay bastards' a lot when our group would be out drinking and one was in the vacinity.

That describes one of the barmen in my local. Gay bloke who'd kick the ****e out of most no bother and puts up with nothing.

cartell_best

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

That describes one of the barmen in my local. Gay bloke who'd kick the ****e out of most no bother and puts up with nothing.

That's the only way to do it, zero tolerance.

Annasopra

cartell_best wrote: »

That's the only way to do it, zero tolerance.

Yeah. Violence solves everything.

cartell_best

mango salsa wrote: »

Yeah. Violence solves everything.

Sorry, I retract simply because of pure stupidity. Violence, NO. Sorry.. no... I didn't mean it like that...

PhlegmyMoses

mango salsa wrote: »

Yeah. Violence solves everything.

I wouldn't say he's violent. He keeps the drunks in check. It's a proper local with regular alcos. None of the lads in there will **** with him.

3ndahalfof6

Its going to be a long night.

Pottler

cartell_best wrote: »

Sorry, I retract simply because of pure stupidity. Violence, NO. Sorry.. no... I didn't mean it like that...

Oh yes you did:D

cartell_best

Pottler wrote: »

Oh yes you did:D

I swear to God lads, I didn't mean it the way it sounded, I'm so sorry. Thanks Mango, nice one!

dd972

It'll probably go out of fashion in 10-15 years time, the usage of ''gay'' as derogatory that is !

Fromthetrees

I think Mr. Louis CK explains all of this perfectly.

Links234

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

im good friends with a gay chap, who is a brilliant and strict barman. he hates 'the screamers' as he calls them (the feminine gay men) and used to call them 'gay bastards' a lot when our group would be out drinking and one was in the vacinity.

he sounds like a judgmental ass to be honest. what does it matter to him if someone's feminine?

BOHtox

Calling people gay is for fags!

cartell_best

BOHtox wrote: »

Calling people gay is for fags!

FAIL...what are you playing at!

Senna

Links234 wrote: »

he sounds like a judgmental ass to be honest. what does it matter to him if someone's feminine?

Its a personality trait, same as any-other personality trait. Is it OK to dislike someone because they're loud or love to brag, but its not OK to dislike someone who is effeminate because its somehow linked to being gay?

1ZRed

Senna wrote: »

Its a personality trait, same as any-other personality trait. Is it OK to dislike someone because they're loud or love to brag, but its not OK to dislike someone who is effeminate because its somehow linked to being gay?

True. Being effeminate doesn't doesn't automatically make you gay, I think that was a bad association there, though most likely unintentional on their part.

Personally, I don't particularly like campness in gay or straight lads. I don't care what your hole preference is, I just don't like the quality and find it hard to get on with them. I find it annoying to be stuck around them for long periods of time.

TheUsual

What ?
Has that Gabriel Byrne fella been mouthin off again ?

Links234

Senna wrote: »

Its a personality trait, same as any-other personality trait. Is it OK to dislike someone because they're loud or love to brag, but its not OK to dislike someone who is effeminate because its somehow linked to being gay?

honestly? I think so much homophobia is dressed up as only hating the "effeminate" guys, how often do we hear the phrase "I don't care if you're gay, just don't act like it"? when people go on about feminine gays, they're not really going on about anyone in particular, they're piling all the negative traits they associate with gay people into one charicature and attacking that.

or maybe I don't like that because it's just plain old gender-policing, eg; men should be totally masculine all of the time and women should be totally feminine all of the time, and never shall they deviate. and that just irks me on a whole other level.

besides, being loud is going to be intrusive and annoying depending on the time and place, but being 'feminine' doesn't do anything to anyone, doesn't invade their space, and I would say that if someone is seriously annoyed that a guy is feminine then they must not be all that comfortable in themselves anyway.

so no, I don't see much validity in disliking someone based on how masculine or feminine they are.

cartell_best

1ZRed wrote: »

True. Being effeminate doesn't doesn't automatically make you gay, I think that was a bad association there, though most likely unintentional on their part.

Personally, I don't particularly like campness in gay or straight lads. I don't care what your hole preference is, I just don't like the quality and find it hard to get on with them. I find it annoying to be stuck around them for long periods of time.

IZred, at the best of times I understand what you're saying, other times, I'm clueless. Lad, being camp? is there, its a considerable percentage of the gay community. FFS we're on this planet, not for a long time, yano? It's just, take everyone for who they are....all's good.

PhlegmyMoses

Links234 wrote: »

honestly? I think so much homophobia is dressed up as only hating the "effeminate" guys, how often do we hear the phrase "I don't care if you're gay, just don't act like it"? when people go on about feminine gays, they're not really going on about anyone in particular, they're piling all the negative traits they associate with gay people into one charicature and attacking that.

or maybe I don't like that because it's just plain old gender-policing, eg; men should be totally masculine all of the time and women should be totally feminine all of the time, and never shall they deviate. and that just irks me on a whole other level.

besides, being loud is going to be intrusive and annoying depending on the time and place, but being 'feminine' doesn't do anything to anyone, doesn't invade their space, and I would say that if someone is seriously annoyed that a guy is feminine then they must not be all that comfortable in themselves anyway.

so no, I don't see much validity in disliking someone based on how masculine or feminine they are.

I think you're going over the top here and looking for something that isn't there. You're also putting words in his mouth. His comment doesn't fall into the same bracket as this:

"I don't care if you're gay, just don't act like it"?

People choose friends based on character traits they like. I couldn't go for a drink with a girl or guy who acts overly feminine. The same way I couldn't go for a drink with a guy or girl who acts overly masculine, or overly posh, or overly like a scumbag. Over the top character traits tend to annoy a lot of people. People who have over top character traits are usually over-compensating for something and are difficult to be around.

fkt

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

im good friends with a gay chap, who is a brilliant and strict barman. he hates 'the screamers' as he calls them (the feminine gay men) and used to call them 'gay bastards' a lot when our group would be out drinking and one was in the vacinity.

In that case he's a biggoted gob****e, fyi.

thiarfearr

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

I wouldn't say he's violent. He keeps the drunks in check. It's a proper local with regular alcos. None of the lads in there will **** with him.

Is that why he's so angry?

Links234

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

I think you're going over the top here and looking for something that isn't there.

You're right, I probably am.

it just annoys me how quickly so many people are to admonish any guy for being feminine, and not just 'over the top' as you say, society in general seems to detest any trait of femininity in guys. so yeah, I'm probably just using this as a springboard into a further rant about that

Senna

Links234 wrote: »

so no, I don't see much validity in disliking someone based on how masculine or feminine they are.

You might not agree and you might not agree with disliking someone due to their "over-confidence" their "boringness" their "over opinionated" etc etc, but they are all personality traits and a dislike of that trait is completely valid.

Herb Powell

OP is a fag.

cartell_best

Lads, do ye know something? I'm after reading a couple of posts in this thread and I could take out the usual clause "I didn't fully understand". Jesus tonight, even in the slightest mention of whatever, it happens. It's like many things!...are you healthy? do you know love (both ways), are you human? do you react as a person does? if you do, then welcome to LIFE

PhlegmyMoses

Links234 wrote: »

You're right, I probably am.

it just annoys me how quickly so many people are to admonish any guy for being feminine, and not just 'over the top' as you say, society in general seems to detest any trait of femininity in guys. so yeah, I'm probably just using this as a springboard into a further rant about that

I see you're the mod of Transgender and I can definitely see where you're coming from in that context. There is a big difference between a guy feeling like he is a woman and someone being overly feminine. One is a character trait, the other is a complex psychological situation that nobody really understands apart from those that experience it. No comparison. I mean, Hyacinth Bucket was overly-feminine. Imagine going out for drinks with her :eek:

Links234

Senna wrote: »

You might not agree and you might not agree with disliking someone due to their "over-confidence" their "boringness" their "over opinionated" etc etc, but they are all personality traits and a dislike of that trait is completely valid.

see, you're automatically lumping it in with negative personality traits, and that's what I'm on about, that people automatically see femininity as negative. why is that? I also think it's a trait that people attack as a proxy, as if to mask their homophobia. so it's much more than not liking a "personality trait"

Links234

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

I see you're the mod of Transgender and I can definitely see where you're coming from in that context. There is a big difference between a guy feeling like he is a woman and someone being overly feminine. One is a character trait, the other is a complex psychological situation that nobody really understands apart from those that experience it. No comparison. I mean, Hyacinth Bucket was overly-feminine. Imagine going out for drinks with her :eek:

actually, I get the gender-policing crap on the other side of the coin, I get people telling me I'm not feminine enough, giving me crap about my piercings, how I dress, and it's seriously annoying. I hate to see it aimed at anyone.

but I never said there was a comparison between being trans, and someone being feminine, or masculine. there's a whole load of different people out there in the world, men who are feminine, women who are masculine, they might be gay or not, or they might be trans or not, and I think it's just sad that they're all expected to fit into two prescribed boxes.

Links234

ok, I realize I'm really starting to drag this off topic right now, so I'll try and veer it back...

yes, I hate it when people use gay as an insult, it's implying that being gay is bad. how would you feel if people started saying "That's so Irish" to mean stupid/bad/negative, think that would be fun?

PhlegmyMoses

Links234 wrote: »

actually, I get the gender-policing crap on the other side of the coin, I get people telling me I'm not feminine enough, giving me crap about my piercings, how I dress, and it's seriously annoying. I hate to see it aimed at anyone.

but I never said there was a comparison between being trans, and someone being feminine, or masculine. there's a whole load of different people out there in the world, men who are feminine, women who are masculine, they might be gay or not, or they might be trans or not, and I think it's just sad that they're all expected to fit into two prescribed boxes.

The thing is, I don't expect anyone to fit in any box. Pick your box and inevitably we may not get along if you pick a certain box. That's life. I'm not comfortable with the homophobia element being brought into it. I'm an equal opportunity disliker.

Thinking about it, one of my good friends from work is the kind of guy who would probably fit the camp gay man stereotype that people like perpetuate. Thinking about it further, I'd far prefer to hang out with an overly feminine guy than an overly masculine guy

Edit: I agree that we're going a bit OT.

cartell_best

Links234 wrote: »

ok, I realize I'm really starting to drag this off topic right now, so I'll try and veer it back...

yes, I hate it when people use gay as an insult, it's implying that being gay is bad. how would you feel if people started saying "That's so Irish" to mean stupid/bad/negative, think that would be fun?

What?

I'm sorry, but I'm going to refrain, simply because a Mod from the gay section of boards.ie has thanked that post. That's just complete nonsense. There is no association in such a comment. My good God! Granted, its Ah, but in fairness..

the_syco

kneemos wrote: »

Why is calling someone gay automatically perceived as an insult?

The fabulous part is that you will find it very offensive if you are slightly homophobic. It is used against people who do not want to be seen as being gay, by people who dislike gays.

Oh, and wtf is up with the word "homophobic"? Homophobics do not have a phobia of homosexuals, they are instead just hatefilled arseholes.