Do people enjoy their own weddings?

username123

meeeeh wrote: »

Blame the government ad people electing them. Besides it also seems the matter of supply and demand. If you feel strongly enough about the issue then your wife should learn to drive. But it's easier to blame those who go to mass every so often.

How is it the governments fault that 80%+ people ticked catholic on the last census?

Cienciano

Sounds like an odd post OP. Lets break it down:

sashafierce wrote: »

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You answered it yourself, each to their own!

sashafierce wrote: »

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I don't see a problem with spending money on one day as long as you can afford it.

sashafierce wrote: »

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You must be self conscious or paranoid! People are looking at you for good reasons, not bad.

sashafierce wrote: »

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You could say "no cameras", but generally people want to remember their wedding day!

sashafierce wrote: »

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Half the people there? I had 100 people at mine and knew every one of them. If you don't know someones +1, you don't know them well enough to envite them to the wedding imho.

sashafierce wrote: »

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They're your friends, most people don't consider greeting their friends to be a bad thing! And you thank them in a speech, it takes 10 seconds.

sashafierce wrote: »

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Why would you bring someone you haven't seen in 20 years?

sashafierce wrote: »

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I'm a bloke, so cant answer that!

As for civil ceremony's, they're great if you have them in the hotel, more time to stand around having a beer with all your friends. Although, that's probably a nightmare scenario for some people!

Jennifer Parker

Fizzlesque wrote: »

I don't know any women who dreamed of their wedding day/getting married all their lives - I don't even know any who dreamed of their wedding day/getting married once they became adults.

I know one girl in my circle of friend who dreamt of her wedding day for a long time and wouldn't quit talking about her wedding or how my wedding should be (and what one should definetely do for ones wedding reception including a horse carriage from the church to the reception hall)... and how they wouldn't attend a wedding if the reception was held somewhere...

I found it really funny that they had a tiny celebration with only 20 people attending in the groom's parents' living room in the end because they had to rush getting married, after she got pregnant as she an her husband don't want her parents to know it happened before they tied the knot...

Scarinae

While I'm an atheist and wouldn't go for a church wedding myself, I don't have any real problem with other people choosing to have their weddings in churches. Different people have different priorities, and ultimately it is their choice so I'd never begrudge them that. A wedding is such a personal thing, people should be able to do it how they want without other people sneering at their choices.

And while I've ticked the 'no religion' box in the last few censuses, I'd still be a cultural Christian of sorts - I like Christmas, including presents and carols, and I make pancakes on pancake day. If I'm on holiday I will visit beautiful churches, not because of god but because I like beautiful architecture. If my kid was in a nativity play, I'd allow it as I'd probably consider it similar to them playing Zeus or Cinderella, but I can understand why some people wouldn't want their children being involved and that is fine too.

meeeeh

username123 wrote: »

How is it the governments fault that 80%+ people ticked catholic on the last census?

Because religion should have nothing to do with state education. Religion should be personal choice and not taught in schools. It is irrelevant if three or eighty percent of people consider themselves catholics.

Squ

Sleepy wrote: »

Catholicism has a virtual stranglehold on the education system in this country. My daughter ended up playing Mary in the Nativity this year. We were invited to a "Christmas Concert" by her (non religious affiliated) Playschool, not a religious re-enactment. By the time we found out what was going on it was too late to do anything about it.

She'll be attending a COI primary school.

How do you explain the lack of christmas tree in your house?


Edit; actually forget it, way off topic.

username123

meeeeh wrote: »

Because religion should have nothing to do with state education. Religion should be personal choice and not taught in schools. It is irrelevant if three or eighty percent of people consider themselves catholics.

The bit I bolded is the bit I totally agree with. But religion is tied into state education and in order to change that the people of the state need to stop ticking catholic on the census! Why would the government bother changing any of it as long as the majority of the people say they are catholic?

Edit - this is way off topic. The issue for me on non catholics having church weddings is that they are helping perpetuate the same myth that continues to be perpetuated on the census forms. People are entitled to do whatever they like for their wedding, but if someone is not a practising catholic and they choose a catholic ceremony, the consequence of that is that it comes off (to some people who feel strongly about faith or lack of) as a sham, hypocritical, it helps perpetuate the myth of catholicism, this has knock on effects elsewhere in society, and the variety of other reasons that people have mentioned in the thread. But people should do what makes them happy.

Whispered

Actually forget about it. I'm not going to respond to such ignorance again. I'm off to have dinner with my sham husband.

cuilteanna

username123 wrote: »

The issue for me on non catholics having church weddings is that they are helping perpetuate the same myth that continues to be perpetuated on the census forms. People are entitled to do whatever they like for their wedding, but if someone is not a practising catholic and they choose a catholic ceremony, the consequence of that is that it comes off (to some people who feel strongly about faith or lack of) as a sham, hypocritical, it helps perpetuate the myth of catholicism, this has knock on effects elsewhere in society, and the variety of other reasons that people have mentioned in the thread. But people should do what makes them happy.

I had a church wedding, only because I caved in to the pressure from my OH, his parents, and my mother. They were all happy, and OH was a practising Catholic so it wasn't a complete sham. I stood there inwardly rolling my eyes and waiting for the whole stupid day to be over. Although to be honest I didn't mind the church ceremony as much as the dinner with the extra 25 extended family I "had to" invite. If I ever got married again NO ONE could talk me out of eloping.

dozy doctor

Absolutely hated my wedding, that is until the speeches were over....

Only organized my speech two hours before the wedding and i was so nervous i guess that i could not even eat my dinner....
I didn't come across as being nervous, but it just one of those things that i didn't really have control over....

Ridiculous I know, but if I was to suggest anything useful for any new couples out there, that would be to do the speeches BEFORE dinner, that way you can get it all out of the way and allow everyone to enjoy the dinner have a great night....

Squ

dozy doctor wrote: »

Absolutely hated my wedding, that is until the speeches were over....

Only organized my speech two hours before the wedding and i was so nervous i guess that i could not even eat my dinner....
I didn't come across as being nervous, but it just one of those things that i didn't really have control over....

Ridiculous I know, but if I was to suggest anything useful for any new couples out there, that would be to do the speeches BEFORE dinner, that way you can get it all out of the way and allow everyone to enjoy the dinner have a great night....

Deffo speeches before the wedding, and written well enough in advance so as to practice on your folks, mates etc..

Cerulean Chicken

dozy doctor wrote: »

Absolutely hated my wedding, that is until the speeches were over....

Only organized my speech two hours before the wedding and i was so nervous i guess that i could not even eat my dinner....
I didn't come across as being nervous, but it just one of those things that i didn't really have control over....

Ridiculous I know, but if I was to suggest anything useful for any new couples out there, that would be to do the speeches BEFORE dinner, that way you can get it all out of the way and allow everyone to enjoy the dinner have a great night....

Squ wrote: »

Deffo speeches before the wedding, and written well enough in advance so as to practice on your folks, mates etc..

Generally if having a hotel wedding you have to check with them if speeches before dinner is ok, it can make things awkward for the kitchen if the speeches turn into the painful blubbering hour long speeches when the couple swore they would be over in 20 minutes. Keeping food hot for that extra time is difficult and pointless, ruin a good meal, but if the hotel ok's it it's a great plan for those who would be nervous.

awec

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Cerulean Chicken

awec wrote: »

Every wedding I've ever been at the speeches have been before the food. And they last 20 minutes at the most. Few jokes, bride looks well, bridesmaids look well and that's it, not much else that is needed to be said or that people want to hear to be honest.

I know full well that's all people want to hear, but when a dad or best man gets up there and hit their stride it can go on and on. Friends of mine were at a wedding recently where the speeches lasted an hour and a half, they said the bride's father was thanking his friend from down the road who wasn't at the wedding for helping build his house 40 years ago, and the groom talked about the cake alone for 5 minutes. People ramble.

awec

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krudler

Have it like the oscars, music plays if you ramble on too much :pac:

ElleEm

I was at a wedding a few months ago where there were speeches before AND after the meal. The speech before the meal lasted about 30mins (groomsman) then the dad of the bride and best man spoke for about 40 mins each AFTER the meal. I love a good speech but I felt like I was at a bloody seminar!!!

Back on topic, when I get married, it will be a no- frills(no car, cake, flowers), intimate family/ close friends affair followed by a big party for extended family and friends. We are not religious, so will go for a hippie Humanist affair.

Like other posters have mentioned, Irish people seem unable to deviate away from the norm with weddings. I have friends that complained about attending "blah" weddings where everything is the same, then do EXACTLY the same thing for their wedding.

Squ

Cerulean Chicken wrote: »

Generally if having a hotel wedding you have to check with them if speeches before dinner is ok, it can make things awkward for the kitchen if the speeches turn into the painful blubbering hour long speeches when the couple swore they would be over in 20 minutes. Keeping food hot for that extra time is difficult and pointless, ruin a good meal, but if the hotel ok's it it's a great plan for those who would be nervous.

Yes, every detail should be talked through with your hotel contact a number of times, with everything written down.

Squ

ElleEm wrote: »

Back on topic, when I get married, it will be a no- frills(no car, cake, flowers), intimate family/ close friends affair followed by a big party for extended family and friends. We are not religious, so will go for a hippie Humanist affair.

Been to a number of similar weddings, very enjoyable.

My favourite was in Cromleach Lodge. Excellent venue.

krudler

Last wedding I was at the speeches lasted about 20 mins tops, that was the best man, bridesmaid, bride and groom and the brides dad said a quick thanks to everyone and that was that, right way to be have it.

Vojera

At the last wedding I was at the speeches went on and on and on. It started out well but when it got to reading cards from people who couldn't make it, the crowd got very antsy as the speeches were before the dinner and there had only been a few biscuits when people arrived at the hotel, so everyone was starving. I think that's something to consider if you're doing the speeches beforehand. If people have had a bit of finger food then it's probably fine, but if not be aware that people get cross when they're hungry!

Whispered

krudler wrote: »

Last wedding I was at the speeches lasted about 20 mins tops, that was the best man, bridesmaid, bride and groom and the brides dad said a quick thanks to everyone and that was that, right way to be have it.

Ours was the same, before dinner, Best man, my father, his father, the groom. 20 mins for them all. We specifically wanted them kept short and think everyone was grateful, especially those giving them!

Kooli

When someone tells me that they are going to have a 'totally different' wedding, I always just think 'we'll see!'.

I said exactly the same thing myself, but as time went on at every step of the way it was easier, cheaper and less hassle to do things the traditional way!

That's not to say I didn't leave things out (no church, no cars, no cake, no flowers etc.), but in terms of the location and the layout of the day, I just couldn't seem to get away from how handy a hotel wedding was!!

awec

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awec

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Sleepy

pwurple wrote: »

The Horror!

Would you want your child involved in a satanic ritual? There's absolutely no difference unless you believe your religion to be superior to satanic worship (which not believing in either, I don't).

You are making my argument for me here. It is part of our culture.

So are incest, alcohol abuse, violence, sectarianism and child abuse.

Fortunately, despite what the papers would have us believe, all are on the wane.

ElleEm wrote: »

Like other posters have mentioned, Irish people seem unable to deviate away from the norm with weddings. I have friends that complained about attending "blah" weddings where everything is the same, then do EXACTLY the same thing for their wedding.

Kooli wrote: »

When someone tells me that they are going to have a 'totally different' wedding, I always just think 'we'll see!'.

I said exactly the same thing myself, but as time went on at every step of the way it was easier, cheaper and less hassle to do things the traditional way!

That's not to say I didn't leave things out (no church, no cars, no cake, no flowers etc.), but in terms of the location and the layout of the day, I just couldn't seem to get away from how handy a hotel wedding was!!

Would agree with both of these. Myself and the other half looked into every option we had to "do something different" but at the end of the day the choice came down to not being able to afford a lot of them (even taking out a loan to pay for it) or cutting numbers to the extent we'd have been having to explain to immediate family members why it was more important to us that certain friends came than they did. So, we booked a hotel like everyone else and are trying to do everything we can to keep the focus on everyone enjoying a good party than on whether the sashes on the chair covers match the tableware and the bridesmaids underwear affair

pwurple

Sleepy wrote: »

Would you want your child involved in a satanic ritual? There's absolutely no difference unless you believe your religion to be superior to satanic worship (which not believing in either, I don't).

That's actually hilarious.

What the fook are you on about? How are you going to react to a school play about cinderella I wonder. Run screaming through the aisles that it isn't true, and it's all satanic worship? Get me the video anyway, youtube will love it.

CathyMoran

Kooli wrote: »

When someone tells me that they are going to have a 'totally different' wedding, I always just think 'we'll see!'.

I said exactly the same thing myself, but as time went on at every step of the way it was easier, cheaper and less hassle to do things the traditional way!

That's not to say I didn't leave things out (no church, no cars, no cake, no flowers etc.), but in terms of the location and the layout of the day, I just couldn't seem to get away from how handy a hotel wedding was!!

Mine was different though because I was 2 weeks after chemo - had 16 people there including photographer and the priest in the church that I was baptised in. Dress was a fancy ordinary dress (though I did have a veil). My daddy did walk me down the isle - that was the one thing that I had always wanted. No hen night, stag night, bridesmaids. As the numbers were small we had it in a restaurant and people had a choice of the a la carte and set menu. I did have a lovely cake that was very us. I did enjoy my wedding looking back and am glad to still be alive and have my wonderful children

Susie120704

I got married six months ago and I never wanted the proper day. Unfortunately it was something my OH really wanted. it was not too bad and I even coped with being the centre of attention. That said I would not go through it again

Sleepy

pwurple wrote: »

That's actually hilarious.

What the fook are you on about? How are you going to react to a school play about cinderella I wonder. Run screaming through the aisles that it isn't true, and it's all satanic worship? Get me the video anyway, youtube will love it.

A nativity play is a celebration of the foundation of an organisation I consider to be evil.

Can I spell that any clearer for you?

As far as I'm aware, Cinderella has never been portrayed as historical fact. Nor have it's believers engaged in homophobia, bigotry, sexism, warfare, hoarding of vast amounts of capital whilst millions starve, etc.

There is one thing I actually agree with the Catholic Church on though: you can't be a "cultural" or "a la carte" Catholic. Declaring yourself to be a Catholic is declaring yourself to be a homophobic misogynist who believes that Canon Law supercedes the law of the land and who thinks it acceptable for a church that worships a figure that, if he ever existed, I can't help but believe would share my horror at the vast wealth used to glorify him/the religion rather than to help the needy.

Take the piss all you want. I'm not the one that worships a zombie

meeeeh

If you must start your rants about religion in just about every thread, at least have the decency not to pin all sorts of crimes on everybody. I have plenty of friends who believe in Jesus and class themselves as catholic, they are very smart, genuine and nice people. And no matter how hard you try slinging mud at people like them does not make you any better, smarter or enlightened.

loveisdivine

It kinda annoys me that everyone seems to assume that if you are getting married, then its gonna be a big 200 guests bridezilla style event. People lambast you for spending "tens of thousands" and inviting people you dont even know.

Well, I'm getting married in September. We are having 80 guests and we know them all. Its gonna be outside, with a BBQ and no speeches.

I know for a fact we will both enjoy the wedding, because we have planned it around what we enjoy. Oh and we arent spending tens of thousands either. Infact our honeymoon is costing more than the wedding!

Dont tarnish all couples with the same "bridezilla wedding" brush.

lazygal

meeeeh wrote: »

If you must start your rants about religion in just about every thread, at least have the decency not to pin all sorts of crimes on everybody. I have plenty of friends who believe in Jesus and class themselves as catholic, they are very smart, genuine and nice people. And no matter how hard you try slinging mud at people like them does not make you any better, smarter or enlightened.

They might class themselves as that but I bet they don't believe most if not all of the Catholic teachings. Believing in Jesus doesn't make you a catholic.

meeeeh

bluewolf wrote: »

He was slinging mud at the organisation, saying "but I have nice friends" has nothing to do with it
Although it's true that it's likely your nice friends are completely a la carte about it, contrary to that org's rules

No he wasn't, he was slinging mud at chatolics or people who consider themselves to be one.

And to actually be on topic. After couple of phone calls from my parents I finaly decided I want to elope or do it very quietly if I ever get married. My brother is getting married and even though I live in another country I'm fed up with their nonsense. Even when in school my brother would just growl at them when being asked about exams and in his thirties he doesn't tell them anything so I'm the one they are asking questions and telling me what I should suggest to him to do. All of us get on very well btw. So it is not like they would need a mediator. and he is right to ignore their nonsense.

Sleepy

No, I'm saying they're lying to themselves and anyone to whom they claim to be a Catholic. They're not Catholics.

Unless of course they believe all the bad elements of the religion too. Then, tbh, they're just bad people imo.

meeeeh

Whatever.

rainbow kirby

Back on topic please - take the religious arguments to A&A or Christianity.