Making people plates of food VS letting them help themselves.

KungPao

Here's something that was a bit of a issue at the family homestead over Christmas this year and last. My mother insists on preparing each plate like in a restaurant for each guest. Now the problem is that this method is that it is far from ideal. If one is preparing 8 plates for example, the food will most likely be cooled by the time it's time to eat. Also, looking at her licking her finger after shovelling a piece of meat onto a plate is gross, but no matter what I say, she just can't change her ways.

I never liked this 'make a plate' system, particularly since horrible stuff like sprouts and turnip would always sneak in. But what really made me think was when my wife (a fodinner) came to dinner for the first time. She was actually quite surprised, and felt it was a little rude to dictate what and how much another person will be having.

In her country, the system is make loads of food, put it on the table, then everybody helps themselves. I must say, I prefer this system.

Now, for something like a mini pizza and chips, making a plate is alright I guess, but for a large meal with with multiple ingredients?

Where did this come from? In programs and movies from Britain and the US they seem to just put the food on the table and tuck in yourself, and not have a plate full of food plonked in from of them.

Or is this just my mammy?

What do you or your mammy do?

homemadecider

This is the way it has always been done in my family home, it drives me a bit bonkers when I go to visit for a get-together now, simply because I will be given a MASSIVE portion and expected to eat it all! To put it into perspective, I will get the same sized dinner as my OH who is 6'4, whereas I am a measly 5'3. I would prefer to be able to help myself to a smaller portion rather than leave loads of food on the plate.

Fromthetrees

Put the meat on the plates and hand them out, everything else is on the open field and it's a fight to the death for who'll get what.

RoyalMarine

when I was young we got handed a plate of food and told to eat.

Now, we don't even get handed a plate.

saiint

i disagree
when people have loads of food on the table and say grab and eat

some people use their fingers
some kids at the table who have been feeling their whillys or picking their nose before they sit at the table, then stick their hands all over it
some people who have colds start coughing
i think its bad hygiene
also not to mention when everyone else is done and your still eating you feel like a greedy c*nt
oh and when theirs only one chicken left i hate the drama over it saying 'oh you have it' 'oh no you have it' ' im full so you have it' then some little gob****e who didnt reach into it before us gets it


edit : also forgot to mention
my friends house do this for a fry everymorning
and when ever im in his house early
they make me eat i mean they actually force me to keep eating until all of its gone because it will go to waste
and yet i always tell them i already had my breakfast
no wonder their all bleeding over 16stone

SEPT 23 1989

Its the only meal of the year where i get to make my own plate

KungPao

saiint wrote: »

i disagree
when people have loads of food on the table and say grab and eat

some people use their fingers
some kids at the table who have been feeling their whillys or picking their nose before they sit at the table, then stick their hands all over it
some people who have colds start coughing
i think its bad hygiene
also not to mention when everyone else is done and your still eating you feel like a greedy c*nt
oh and when theirs only one chicken left i hate the drama over it saying 'oh you have it' 'oh no you have it' ' im full so you have it' then some little gob****e who didnt reach into it before us gets it


edit : also forgot to mention
my friends house do this for a fry everymorning
and when ever im in his house early
they make me eat i mean they actually force me to keep eating until all of its gone because it will go to waste
and yet i always tell them i already had my breakfast
no wonder their all bleeding over 16stone

I have had dinner in my wife's family home, and it's not unhygenic there. All food will have a large spoon, meat with have fork etc. The adults would ask the kids what they want and make their plate for them. But the adults would make their own.

Also, rather than everybody having large plates which would invariably lead to wastage, you just take what you feel will be enough and any food left in the centre of the table would be untouched then stored and eaten later...rather than be scraped into the bin.

It funny that my wife finds the made for you plate to be rude, whist my mammy thinks the opposite...even though most countries (that I can think of) do it the help yourself way.

Dravokivich

KungPao wrote: »

If one is preparing 8 plates for example, the food will most likely be cooled by the time it's time to eat.

What do you mean time to eat? When you get your plate, stuff your face.

tiny_penguin

For a family dinner we serve a plate of food - there are only ever 4 or 5 of us and everyone gets asked how much they want. Saves on washing putting all the serving dishes on the table to help themselves. After 20+ years as a family we are pretty in sync with how much people want and nobody is afraid of leaving food/going for seconds. If there a guest with us then we generally ask what they would like -any veg they don't eat. All very casual and we all help with the serving.

If its a larger group we tend to do the everybody serve themselves - have it buffet style in the kitchen and then everyone can grab cutlery and find a seat!

summerskin

Grew up in a family where everything was out on the table to help yourself(bowls with serving spoons etc). It's the best way.

Hated the first Xmas I had at the in-laws where the mother in law plated it all up for us. I want to choose what i put on my plate, thanks, not have half a turkey, 30 spuds, a ton of stuffing and 20 sprouts.

KungPao

Dravokivich wrote: »

What do you mean time to eat? When you get your plate, stuff your face.

Ah you know Christmas, people all over the house, watching The Sound of Music etc, and by the time she has carefully assembled each plate, gotten everyones attention, to sitting down, to the cheers, Merry Christmas...it's gone cold. Well it is for me, I like it sizzling.

Caveman1

KungPao wrote: »

Also, looking at her licking her finger after shovelling a piece of meat onto a plate is gross

Well considering you more than likely had the womans breast in your mouth at one stage in your life, this shouldn't be a worry :pac:

DaveNoCheese

There are 16 in our family, for xmas these days there are usually 7-10 of us.

The food is thrown on the table and you gotta be quick to eat, no fancy "plates" or "cutlery"

Chuck Stone

RoyalMarine wrote: »

when I was young we got handed a plate of food and told to eat.

When I were a lad we got nowt but a punch in the face for dinner. It stopped us thinking about the hunger I suppose.

Akrasia

I am firmly on the side of putting the food in the centre of the table and letting people serve themselves for 1 main reason.

Once the food is on the table, everyone can begin to serve themselves and start to eat at the same time. Otherwise there is one or two people (usually the mammy) who has to plate up the food for everyone and hers goes cold while everyone else eats, and when she's finished serving herself, she gets the pleasure of eating cold leftovers by herself cause everyone else will have finished and fecked off back to the playstation or television.

I think the atmosphere is much nicer when the food is in the centre of the table and there is more conversation

shedweller

My ma always filled up the plates and dished them out. Plates were on a rack over the cooker so they were warm. Everyone more or less got what they usually ate and there was sometimes some left in the pots though not always. Never any drama with guests. If they didn't like something they simply left it. No dramas!
Nowadays with my own family i do both. It's not something that ever bothered me, although the OP mentioned the mother licking her fingers before poking around the food. My mother in law does that and it has to be one of the most disgusting things i have seen. That and the fact that she boils veg until they are almost soup. Jaysus.

I (almost) always serve in the centre and let people pick and choose. Usually in lidded dishes that are themselves hot so the food stays hot for as long as possible.

There are few exceptions but one obvious one is steaks where people have individual preferences on how they are to be made.

I have never to my knowledge had the hygeine issues listed above. Perhaps this is a failing of the people invited and not the serving method itself.

Individual serving would be unworkable for me too as usually when I am cooking for others it can be for groups of 30 people and more. I throw a house party on the second Saturday of every month for which I always cook and the idea of filling 20-35 plates one at a time with each part of the meal is not appealing at all.

El Horseboxo

When i lived in Ireland i got used to the plate being handed to me. When i went back to the US i felt a little awkward with the food all laid out and it being help yourself. I'm into the bodybuilding and usually eat way in excess of 3000 calories a day. I didn't like eyes being on me when i'm putting something on my plate. I ended up taking a conservative amount rather than what i wanted. And i was more hesitant to go in for more. Especially when i came to the meat. Whereas if i was given a plate and i finished it i'd have been asked if i wanted more during my Christmas dinners in Ireland.

Emcm

This is an interesting one as I was raised with the whole dinner handed to me on a plate and I have to admit to carrying on that tradition now with my own kids. But on Christmas day when I was plating up dinners for 10 people I was saying am I wise maybe next year I will just put everything in middle of table. Then I thought I would need to buy a bigger table think of how much food there would be in middle of table on Christmas day. A plate for Turkey and ham, a bowl of stuffing then mashed spuds, roasted spuds, sprouts carrots and parsnips and possibly more veg if u do more then ur jug of gravy cranberry sauce. It would it a crammed table!!!

lounakin

KungPao wrote: »

Here's something that was a bit of a issue at the family homestead over Christmas this year and last. My mother insists on preparing each plate like in a restaurant for each guest. Now the problem is that this method is that it is far from ideal. If one is preparing 8 plates for example, the food will most likely be cooled by the time it's time to eat. Also, looking at her licking her finger after shovelling a piece of meat onto a plate is gross, but no matter what I say, she just can't change her ways.

I never liked this 'make a plate' system, particularly since horrible stuff like sprouts and turnip would always sneak in. But what really made me think was when my wife (a fodinner) came to dinner for the first time. She was actually quite surprised, and felt it was a little rude to dictate what and how much another person will be having.

In her country, the system is make loads of food, put it on the table, then everybody helps themselves. I must say, I prefer this system.

Now, for something like a mini pizza and chips, making a plate is alright I guess, but for a large meal with with multiple ingredients?

Where did this come from? In programs and movies from Britain and the US they seem to just put the food on the table and tuck in yourself, and not have a plate full of food plonked in from of them.

Or is this just my mammy?

What do you or your mammy do?

This practice comes from fussy ingrate people who are never satisfied and the concept of you'll eat what you get since I prepared it and put a roof over your head It obviously stems from simpler times where food wasn't so easily accessible, cheap, devalued.

Irish_wolf

I think it depends on how many people there are, and what kind of dinner it is.

If it's a curry or something with rice. Then normally we leave the wok full of the curry and a pot full of rice with ladles for each and people take what they want.

But if it's roast chicken/beef/whatever normally we dish out the veg and spuds onto plates then let people help themselves with meat and gravy which is laid out on the table. If people want more they can go get seconds, or if they dont want to eat everything someone else at the table usually obliges them.

I dont prefer one to the other provided it's done right.

cantdecide

The most important thing is that if there's someone new present that they're told the house customs. It's not a very hip thing to do but if there's someone new, it's better to say the likes of 'oh get stuck in there before it's all gone' or whatever it takes for them to be comfortable.

On the other hand, it's even less hip to tell someone 'you'll eat what you're given', I suppose!

iguana

When you put the food on the centre of the table, you not only need to have a bigger table but you nearly double your washing up. I also find that the food gets much colder as, one, it is plated up twice and two, the seconds are left sitting on the middle of the table instead of kept warm where they were cooked. Having it all on the table is nicer in terms of feeling more festive but plating it up is a fuçktonne more practical.

And if there is an 'Irish mammy' at the table you can forget about only having to eat what you want as if you dare to pass over the carrots you will be asked "are you not having any carrots?" and before you can open your mouth to answer, the biggest portion of carrots in the house will be dumped on your plate.

Sariah

It depends. At xmas I put meat and a roastie on each place and the rest in serving bowls on the table.

At home normally I do a plate as it saves on washing up and the kids cant just pick and choose the bits they want. I usually leave extra on the table.

At friends it can be either depending on the home and the number of people eating.

Tbh if someone is going to the bother of inviting me to their home and cooking for me I don't really care how it is served up. I am just grateful to be there.

pickarooney

At home, with two adults and two kids usually one person serves it up to everyone (and the other cuts it into pieces for the wee one).

For big meals at my parents there'll be about four people serving up various ingredients and everyone will just say how much of everything they want. There's not really room in the middle of the table for a bowl of each ingredient.

Stheno

I prefer being able to plate up myself.

Both mine and the Ohs family do that

Never had the food in the middle thing till I left Ireland funny enough.. Way prefer it.

Bannasidhe

In my house it depends on the meal and how many people but when the grandkids are here every second weekend I plate their's first so it can cool down for them and the 4 adults serve themselves from bowls (with serving spoons!) put on the table.
I do the same at Xmas.

Often though with people working different hours dinner can be something like chili or curry and it's help yourself to a bowl when hungry.

When it comes to steak I plate it as OH likes her's well-done but the rest of us like it rare.

hardCopy

Caveman1 wrote: »

Well considering you more than likely had the womans breast in your mouth at one stage in your life, this shouldn't be a worry :pac:

She doesn't wipe her arse with her breast though!

phasers

Does that not mean twice as much washing up though? you'd have to put all the stuff from pots to serving dishes and from dishes to plates. Why go to all the effort?

kfallon

Prefer to just be handed a plate with what I want on it. If you just have big bowls you may end up with the butter effect, you know, a renegade turnip in with the spuds, a pea in the gravy etc etc!

You fill a plate for me and I'll eat it, don't you worry about that!

recyclebin

Please don't start threads about food in the afternoon. I don't finish work until 5 and have an hours drive home. My mouth is salivating here thinking of dinner.

kfallon

recyclebin wrote: »

Please don't start threads about food in the afternoon. I don't finish work until 5 and have an hours drive home. My mouth is salivating here thinking of dinner.

You know what you need to do......move closer to work :pac:

laugh

I'd say the everything on the table system is more common in a family where there is a history of things being more plentiful.

GalwayGuy2

I'd say the everything on the table system is more common in a family where there is a history of things being more plentiful.

Well, lad di da.

Liamario

Put all the food on the plate. It's too much messing around waiting for people to take more than their fair share of the veg.

Bannasidhe

phasers wrote: »

Does that not mean twice as much washing up though? you'd have to put all the stuff from pots to serving dishes and from dishes to plates. Why go to all the effort?

The dishwasher doesn't seem to mind.

sink

Fromthetrees wrote: »

Put the meat on the plates and hand them out, everything else is on the open field and it's a fight to the death for who'll get what.

^this

We usually have so much food in the house there is no possible way for it to run out. We had 16 people for Christmas dinner and I think we only finished the last of the spiced beef and Christmas pudding yesterday.

GLaDOS

Prefer to have it on a plate myself, pain in the hole leaning over the table, or getting up every time I want to get something.

gozunda

Well this is how it should be done...

Always sit down to dinner together. At that point the butler, the two footmen and the parlour maid arrange themselves at the table. The waiting commences at the head of the table and the other staff outside the dinning room door bring the dishes and also remove the empty dishes. When the dinner is served on the table the waiter must stand at the left hand side of the carver and remove the covers. As the soup comes first , a plateful is carried to each person, unless they signify they do not wish for any, and commences from one on the right of the host. The sherry or claret is then handed around. At a large gathering the moment a persons plate is empty, or finished with, it must be quietly taken away, spoon and all, but when the party is a small one, the plates are usually left until all have finished the course. In any case, the plates of the host and hostess are always left till last. At informal parties guests should be asked if they wish for a second helping, but not at formal parties. Never remove a dish which is being served until all have finished that course. All plates are placed by the waiter at the left hand side of the person being served, and when used removed from the left or right.
At large gatherings dishes are handed round from one person to another, irrespective of rank or sex, commencing with the lady on the right of the host....

No not in my house - I wish

From Mrs Beatons Book of Household Management.

Zab

KungPao wrote: »

Here's something that was a bit of a issue at the family homestead over Christmas this year and last. My mother insists on preparing each plate like in a restaurant for each guest. Now the problem is that this method is that it is far from ideal. If one is preparing 8 plates for example, the food will most likely be cooled by the time it's time to eat. Also, looking at her licking her finger after shovelling a piece of meat onto a plate is gross, but no matter what I say, she just can't change her ways.

I know you had a point in there, but all I could think while reading your post was "punk, get the f**k off your ass and help your mother serve dinner".

JuliusCaesar

JC's book of household management states that all serving dishes and all plates should be warmed. If your table isn't big enough, then import another table for the time being. It's not that often that there are so many people together (for Christmas dinner), so just get on with it. Let people serve themselves. Once meat is carved, let them help themselves to slices. Too many faddy eaters to plate food for anyone in my large and extended family.

Washing up? Who cares? Dishwasher or youngest person present is responsible.

phasers

phasers wrote: »

Does that not mean twice as much washing up though? you'd have to put all the stuff from pots to serving dishes and from dishes to plates. Why go to all the effort?

That depends on your perspective I guess. It does indeed result in overall _more_ washing up but the _when_ of the washing up is altered.

For example if I make carrots, potatoes and broccoli I use three pots. When I serve them I put them all into one big hot dish and put a lid on it. That sits in the oven until I am ready to put everything on the table.

In that time I can wash the pots as I wait for the other things to be complete, like the meat etc.

So while overall there is one more dish to wash... when it comes to completeing the washing up _after_ the meal there is actually less to do at that point.

And it is at _that_ point that I want to do less washing up. I would much rather clean one big dish after the meal with nothing stuck or cooked onto it than wash three pots with cooked on / dried on gunk that has cooled and hardened.

Canis Lupus

Always get given a plate.

Shared food where you're saying stuff like, 'pass the carrots please' should be confined to American tv shows.

conorhal

Oh for the love of God Son, eat your veg otherwise I'm going to put you back at the kiddie table....

padd b1975

KungPao wrote: »

Ah you know Christmas, people all over the house, watching The Sound of Music etc, and by the time she has carefully assembled each plate, gotten everyones attention, to sitting down, to the cheers, Merry Christmas...it's gone cold. Well it is for me, I like it sizzling.

I don't think the problem here is making plates of food.

Its the lazy inconsiderate dinner guests who have not lent a hand and then have to be rounded up like sheep to have their food.

But they still whinge.....

Lollipops23

padd b1975 wrote: »

I don't think the problem here is making plates of food.

Its the lazy inconsiderate dinner guests who have not lent a hand and then have to be rounded up like sheep to have their food.

But they still whinge.....

You clearly grew up in a very different house to me- my mother boots everyone out of the kitchen when she's doing the dinner (or "out from under me feet!!" as she puts it).

Loopy

Personally I do prefer being handed a plate of food. I find if its all laid out and I help myself I never know when to stop.

Hannibal Smith

whatever way the system works in a house where you are a guest and someone has made the food, that's the system you follow and you say thank you very much.

if you can't eat it all you say you're full..they can't force it down your throat.

in our house I serve it all but only becauars that's how me mother did it....when the kids are older I'll do the whole take what you like deal

Czarcasm

KungPao wrote: »

Here's something that was a bit of a issue at the family homestead over Christmas this year and last. My mother insists on preparing each plate like in a restaurant for each guest. Now the problem is that this method is that it is far from ideal. If one is preparing 8 plates for example, the food will most likely be cooled by the time it's time to eat. Also, looking at her licking her finger after shovelling a piece of meat onto a plate is gross, but no matter what I say, she just can't change her ways.

I never liked this 'make a plate' system, particularly since horrible stuff like sprouts and turnip would always sneak in. But what really made me think was when my wife (a fodinner) came to dinner for the first time. She was actually quite surprised, and felt it was a little rude to dictate what and how much another person will be having.

In her country, the system is make loads of food, put it on the table, then everybody helps themselves. I must say, I prefer this system.

Now, for something like a mini pizza and chips, making a plate is alright I guess, but for a large meal with with multiple ingredients?

Where did this come from? In programs and movies from Britain and the US they seem to just put the food on the table and tuck in yourself, and not have a plate full of food plonked in from of them.

Or is this just my mammy?

What do you or your mammy do?

It took me a minute to cop you meant "foreigner", as opposed to a guest you have over fo' dinner!

Anyway, growing up in my house it was "food out on the table, and every man for himself". You didn't get enough potatoes? Tough titty son and better luck next time! A pot of potatoes at dinner or two loaves of bread at breakfast didn't last long!

Now in our house my wife cooks and then come dinner time lays out the table and portions out the food.

When we go back to the in-laws, food is cooked and plated in the kitchen by my wife and her mum, then served in the dining room.

Mint Sauce

I actually thought this was the norm OP. For as long as I can remember, my mum and her sisters, sister in laws, and a close family friend, for most years have taken it in turn to prepare the Xmas dinner.

Some years you could have up to 18-20 people around the table, all off which would have the food put in front if them, served up by the above women, with one of the husbands carving the meat, with alot of food being thorn out due to people getting pile high plates that they could not finish.

This Xmas was the first time that I remember in 30 years, that the food was placeed on the counter for each person to plate up them selves, plates were a more sensable size, with people also getting the right amount of seconds they wanted as well.