A Few More

MonkieSocks

Before performing a baptism in Ireland,

Father Reilly approached Seamus and said to him solemnly,

“Baptism is a serious step. Are ye prepared for it?”

“I think I am father,” Seamus replied.

“My wife has made a big buffet spread and Mrs O’Sullivan has baked biscuits and cakes for all of our guests.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Father Reilly responded.

“I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”

“To be sure I am,” Seamus replied.

“I’ve got a case Brandy and 2 cases of Whiskey.”

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While traveling cross country, a couple decided to stop for a cup of coffee in a local diner somewhere in Texas.

While they were sitting at a booth near the counter sipping their coffee,

A local cowboy stumbled in and headed for the closest stool at the counter.

As he lifted his leg over the stool, he cut one of the loudest farts ever heard by a human.

The tourist jumped up and screamed,

"Sir, how dare you fart before my wife!"

The cowboy stopped, tipped his hat politely and said,

"Beggin' yer pardon, ma'am...I didn't know we was a takin' turns."

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Two Irishmen flew to Canada as they wanted to go on a hunting trip.

On arrival, they chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies where they would spend week moose hunting.

They managed to bag 6 moose in total during the week, and were really pleased with themselves.

As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.

The two Irishmen objected strongly.

“Last year we shot six, the pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours.”

Against his better judgement, the pilot gave in and all six moose were loaded onto the small plane, and it took off.

However, while attempting to cross some mountains, even on full power the little plane couldn’t handle the heavy load and went down in a spiralling descent.

Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only Paddy and Mick survived the crash.

After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, “Any idea where we are?”

Mick replied, “I think we’re pretty close to where we crashed last year.”