2 year old coping with new baby.

ballycart

Hi all,

Need help and advice please. At my wits end. Had my second baby on 29th Dec and came home the next day. Have a two year old boy at home already. He adores his new brother very affectionate towards him. Last week mammy and daddy were his enemies slapping shouting demanding attention continuously. That has calmed a bit now.
Last week there was three nights where daddy had to sleep in the bedside him as he wouldnt stop roaring when he woke up.
This week he is now roaring himself to sleep at night mon night took 1 hour where he vommitted twice. Tues night roaring about 40mins but woke at midnight daddy went in to cuddle say everythin is ok and then left he stayed roaring for an hour and just when we thought he was falling asleep the loud roaring started again so daady went in and stayed with him.
We dont know what to do should daddy stay with him maybe use a mattress on floor rather than getting into his bed?? This boy was a brill sleeper ran up to bed slept 13 hrs and now he delays bed as much as possible.
We are dreading tonight. Any help would be super or has anyone gone through something similar.
Sorry for long post.

Hannibal Smith

Oh I feel your pain....we had that too. Its completely normal for the elder child to feel a little out of the loop. Ours had been sleeping in his new room in a big bed for months before the baby arrived, but as soon as he arrived the eldest was so bad at night we had to put him back in a cot! (he was 2)

It is so difficult with a new born, but all you can do is try as much as you can to give the eldest a lot of attention. Include him with the baby things, as him to get you a nappy...does he want to see baby being fed etc. Try take him out by yourself, get the other half or some one to mind the baby and go out for a couple of hours to the park or for a walk around the shops.

If he's not sleeping at night would you try putting him back in a cot? just to give him a sense of familiarity till things calm down with the baby and you're sleeping more?

wmpdd3

I had the same but not as bad, 16 month difference on age.

I think what killed her was that mammy, daddy and baby were in my room and she was all alone in her room. She was missing out.

So I used to sit her in the buggy facing me and baby in bed, feeding, changing nappy, cleaning bellybutton etc. She seemed calmer after a morning doing this. She also wanted to wear his stuff, like hats etc! Also, once a month I'd bring her swimming, she loved this and was a dream for days afterwards.

Bit by bit she came around and by the time baby was 3 months old, they had fallen in love and she was stronger than ever.

ballycart

Thanks for replys.

Hannibal Smith id be afraid to put him back into cot in case it went horribly wrong, moved him into bed because he too big for the cot. He loves his bed jusy doesnt want to be on his own.
wmpdd3 i do think its the fact that baby is in our room definately dont think that helps.
He didnt cry the last two nights going to bed but once he woke ten-ish the crying starts again and daddy is up and down the stairs numerous time then he settles until about midnight - 1am daddy ends up sleeping on the floor until he can sneak out.
Hopefully soon he will get there. He is in mighty form and going to creche happy out and he is brill for them in creche.
Fingers crossed

Hannibal Smith

I hope it stops soon...I'm sure it will...it took us a while to get to grips with it....and its so exhausting when you finally get to sleep and then the eldest kicks off.

wmpdd3

You could try the 'getting towards the door' thing in stead of sleeping. When he goes to bed, get daddy to sit on a chair beside the bed. Tell the child, daddy will be leaving when the child is asleep. Then the next day sit on a chair closer to the door until daddy is at the door before he goes asleep.

HHobo

2 year old coping with new baby.

Tut tut. People are having kids at awfully young ages these days!

You are barely out of nappies yourself and you are trying to raise kids, hold down a job... the recession has been murder on the employability of the under 3s. Not even three and having to emigrate! Shocking.

January

HHobo wrote: »

2 year old coping with new baby.

Tut tut. People are having kids at awfully young ages these days!

You are barely out of nappies yourself and you are trying to raise kids, hold down a job... the recession has been murder on the employability of the under 3s. Not even three and having to emigrate! Shocking.

Whilst funny... please try to post helpful advice in future.

Tom Joad

Been there recently - its a bloody nightmare - our lad reacted for a wee while -tantrums, attention seeking for a few weeks - we were at our wits end for a few weeks so feel your pain - especially when you throw in the whole new baby stuff into the mix.

In our case we got through the other side and everythings back to normal and the wee man is back to himself. Few things we found worked.

1. Be firm - ground rules still apply - relax the boundaries and he went hyper.

2. Get the 2 year old involved in getting wipes, nappies etc - little jobs that make him feel involved. Also really play up the "big brother" status. And keep reassuring him that you still have time for him and he still gets a look in.

3. Try to avoid Mammy having the baby all the time and Daddy looking after the 2 year old - I found our wee man was struggling with this - he thought the baby was Mammy's so Mammy didn't have time for him anymore - once we put his mind at ease on this it helped.

Hope that doesn't come across as preachy!! but remember its only a phase and he come out the other side back to himself.

Good luck with and congrats on new baby.:)

wmpdd3

As above, totally agree, we had just started the 'step' time out thing and at one point we thought it was too much for her and we were going to forget about it, but we kept going and now it only takes a mention of it to keep her in line.

On days off, we take turns getting the kids ready in the morning and this really helps as its not the same routine.