And you thought your landlord's rules were bad...

darraghdoyle

Can't think of anywhere more suitable to share these set of rules given out at a property viewing recently...









Yikes.

(Mods, feel free to move if this isn't relevant. Wasn't sure where else it was appropriate!)

endacl

Feck. Seriously? You just typed these up yourself for a laugh. Didn't you.....?

freyners

Half of them must be illegal

jmayo

You forgot the part about signing the lease in blood.

EDIT:
If this was true, and I can't really see anyone this anal wanting to share in the first place, then the ultimate would be to bring in a slighly drunk dirty pet pig into the communal area whilst having the TV on loud.

It would break at least half a dozen of the rules.

delta36

No pork? How are you supposed to cure a hangover? Also, the "no guest rule" is so important the landlord put it in twice! (#2 and #29). OP, where did you find this?

the_syco

If the landlord lives there, he can get rid of ye for no reason at all, but it sounds more like a prison. If the landlord doesn't live in the house, it'd be interesting if he tried to kick someone out who didn't take kindly to his threats.

The no pork and alcohol only in your room sounds like religious rules. I'm guessing english is not their first language, and that they haven't a f**king clue about the laws here.

djimi

I cant believe these were handed out at a property viewing; noone in their right mind would agree to live in such a place!

djimi

the_syco wrote: »

If the landlord lives there, he can get rid of ye for no reason at all, but it sounds more like a prison. If the landlord doesn't live in the house, it'd be interesting if he tried to kick someone out who didn't take kindly to his threats.

The no pork and alcohol only in your room sounds like religious rules. I'm guessing english is not their first language, and that they haven't a f**king clue about the laws here.

The £ sign suggests that it isnt Irish.

Also, if its a house share with an owner occupier (which is the assumption that Im making from reading it) there is nothing illegal about any of it. Their house, their rules. Youre a guest; you have no legal backing whatsoever.

username123

Why is No Pork the number 1 rule?

Out of interest, how much was the rent, how many rooms was this person renting and what was the place like?

Janedoe10

Where do I sign up . ? Charming fellow I'm sure .

jmayo

delta36 wrote: »

No pork? How are you supposed to cure a hangover? Also, the "no guest rule" is so important the landlord put it in twice! (#2 and #29). OP, where did you find this?

Devout Jew or Muslim would be the guess with the pork.

One would want to ascertain their position be on pork scratchings or pepperoni pizzas otherwise one could fall foul of the rules ?

Actually I think the landlord could add a few more rules like ...
shoes must not be worn in the house, lest the floors get dirty.
headtorches should be used at night rather than switching on lights in communal areas
etc
etc

delta36

jmayo wrote: »

Devout Jew or Muslim would be the guess with the pork.

One would want to ascertain their position be on pork scratchings or pepperoni pizzas otherwise one could fall foul of the rules ?

Actually I think the landlord could add a few more rules like ...
shoes must not be worn in the house, lest the floors get dirty.
headtorches should be used at night rather than switching on lights in communal areas
etc
etc

Breathing out is permitted in the house, breathing in must be done outdoors as it is MY oxygen..

dodderangler

No pork???
That has to be a religious thing then
Pork is the soul product for a Saturday and Sunday morning hangover
You should get a pet pig to really annoy them

dickwod1

Seems fair enough to me :rolleyes:

delta36

dickwod1 wrote: »

Seems fair enough to me :rolleyes:

Sorry, you need to notify the OP via text two weeks in advance before replying to this thread. That'll be 15 quid :pac:

Stinicker

Looks abit like Sheldon's "room mate agreement"

tara73

that's the most lunatic stuff I've come across for a while..crackin up laughin here

jmayo

delta36 wrote: »

Breathing out is permitted in the house, breathing in must be done outdoors as it is MY oxygen..

Ehh that could work both ways.
If you only breath out then you are adding to the CO2 content and generally making the air stale.
He couldn't possibly have stale air.
That's an extra £20 right away.

Lets suggest that one cannot breath in the communal areas since they are all his.

BTW does anyone reckon this joker has a girlfriend ?

Ehh he didn't specify the tenants had to be one sex or the other.
And he didn't specify one could not engage in sex in the communal areas.

The lad has left more loopholes in this agreement than enough.
You could drive a camel train through them.

dodderangler wrote: »

No pork???
That has to be a religious thing then
Pork is the soul product for a Saturday and Sunday morning hangover
You should get a pet pig to really annoy them

That was my idea, get your own animal made out of pork.

the_syco

djimi wrote: »

The £ sign suggests that it isnt Irish.

Also, if its a house share with an owner occupier (which is the assumption that Im making from reading it) there is nothing illegal about any of it. Their house, their rules. Youre a guest; you have no legal backing whatsoever.

Aye. Or possibly he has an old PC without the euro symbol. If it is indeed based in England, I'd wonder how much of it is illegal, as I think they have better tenant laws over there.

From the wording, I'm guessing it's rent-a-room, with the living room (and every other room space in the house) converted into a bedroom.

jmayo wrote: »

Ehh he didn't specify the tenants had to be one sex or the other.
And he didn't specify one could not engage in sex in the communal areas.

Pay rent and deposit for a room, stock it with weed and alcohol, and send in some homeless gays with a "full Irish breakfast roll" to **** the brains out of each other whilst drinking and smoking in the room.

=-=

OP; what country is this lease from?

CarrickMcJoe

€5 to go towards toiletres but if you use them he will charge you (and probably lose your deposit).

Midnight Sundance

Stinicker wrote: »

Looks abit like Sheldon's "room mate agreement"

I thought the exact same thing when I saw it. I can't imagine anyone short of absolutely desperate would stay there

the_syco

Midnight Sundance wrote: »

I thought the exact same thing when I saw it. I can't imagine anyone short of absolutely desperate would stay there

If the rent is low enough, some people may take it out of desperation.

alphabeat

i have a house , and i am well middle aged
but i'd seriously consider renting a room here just to cause mayhem .

repsol

alphabeat wrote: »

i have a house , and i am well middle aged
but i'd seriously consider renting a room here just to cause mayhem .

+1. I would have this guy signing himself into the nut house in a week.Move in,tell him I am paying him nothing and he will have to go to law to get rid of me(takes months and cost a fortune)I would then proceed to spend the next few months eating pork naked in his sitting room while I wait for a few friends who are not really house trained to come and stay over with their extra heaters.Dirty dishes would be the most pleasant thing he could hope to find in the kitchen sink!:D If this prick is real he deserves to be taught a lesson.Most of his list is illegal and yet he mentions calling the cops more than once.Priceless!

Marsden

Farting is permitted only in your bedroom, there's a €50 fine for the initial fart in any other part of the labour camp house and €30 for each susequent fart, unless your farts smell like pork, then you will be evicted without deposit.

gaius c

Midnight Sundance wrote: »

I thought the exact same thing when I saw it. I can't imagine anyone short of absolutely desperate would stay there

Well the fact that people are actually viewing the place indicates that people are already desperate.

Something people should bear in mind is that when rental supply gets tight, chancers like this have demand for their execrable product & service. All those press releases annoucing house prices, rental supply diminishing and rents going up are music to this guy's ears.

FloatingVoter

Is the landlord named Norman and does his mum live in the attic ?

gaius c

djimi wrote: »

The £ sign suggests that it isnt Irish.

Also, if its a house share with an owner occupier (which is the assumption that Im making from reading it) there is nothing illegal about any of it. Their house, their rules. Youre a guest; you have no legal backing whatsoever.

It isn't. It's London.

repsol

Marsden wrote: »

Farting is permitted only in your bedroom, there's a €50 fine for the initial fart in any other part of the labour camp house and €30 for each susequent fart, unless your farts smell like pork, then you will be evicted without deposit.

Farting is not permitted as it is considered additional heating which is banned.:)

Rasmus

This a house-share though, something completely different to a rental agreement. If anyone older than 25 for example had to share their house with someone they'd have some particular requests or ground rules.

ronan45

I assume this is a wind up. Like to be honest if the place was for free no-one would move in. Its ridiculous.
Actually I will go one better as to say if he PAID people to live their with these rules 100 Quid a week he would still have no takers