My boss looks at me/comments/is nosy/forceful

LegacyUser

I sit next to my boss at work. He regularly makes references to my clothes (if the office is hot he'll say "oh you're in the right tight fit for the weather!").

If I'm on the phone or very busy, he'll call my name and break my concentration and say "oh you looked so concentrated there" or if he doesn't get a response he'll stand next to me and tap my shoulder for attention.

He eats loudly at his desk (slurps, "scoffing", sucking sounds, burping...) and it made me go out to the smoking area simply because I could not any longer handle it! And when I came back he made a go at saying "God some of us work and some of us smoke ey ey" trying to be funny.

I request holidays and he wants to know all the details (who are you going with? where are you staying? Will you do this/that?). He was even able to tell me every country I was in during the past year (and what was work-related and what was not). He made a joke about "I'm not approving holidays unless you start bringing us back candies like everyone else does". Yes I know it's only joking/light hearted but there's a limit.

I don't bring back souvenirs/candies to my workmates.

He asks "any more questions? anyone? how about you " looking at me directly.

His constant input is making me feel ill.

How can I get by with this?

Irish_Elect_Eng

This sounds simply like an, introvert / extrovert personality clash.

The only way to resolve this is through careful considered communication.

Procrastastudy

Irish_Elect_Eng wrote: »

This sounds simply like an, introvert / extrovert personality clash.

The only way to resolve this is through careful considered communication.

Or a big blow up or caving in his skull.

But yes it does sound like a personality clash. As regards the dotting you on the shoulder I'd say start with that. Make it clear that its unacceptable.

tatli_lokma

Irish_Elect_Eng wrote: »

This sounds simply like an, introvert / extrovert personality clash.

The only way to resolve this is through careful considered communication.

Procrastastudy wrote: »

Or a big blow up or caving in his skull.

But yes it does sound like a personality clash. As regards the dotting you on the shoulder I'd say start with that. Make it clear that its unacceptable.

I disagree - I think this is a bit more than a personality clash. Commenting on the fit of the clothes and being overly interested in OP's personal life is a bit OTT in my opinion. Bordering on creepy. At the very least it is incredibly unprofessional and quite a juvenille manner for a manager to behave in.

OP - is this a small company? is there a HR department you could consult with? If not, have you noticed if this behaviour is only to you, or to others. Are you the only one that seems to have an issue with it?

SNORBEAST

He sounds like David Brent from the Office................

Mrs OBumble

itsnotmeitsmydesk wrote: »

I request holidays and he wants to know all the details (who are you going with? where are you staying? Will you do this/that?). He was even able to tell me every country I was in during the past year (and what was work-related and what was not).

Is getting a new job an option?

Seriously ... some shyte is just not worth putting up with. Failing that, look for some assertiveness training: if he's not mature enough to relate in an adult way, then you just have to "manage up" and establish the boundaries for him.

In the meantime, when he asks who you're holidaying with, you are under no obligation to tell him the truth about anything except the days you want, and what the workplace consequnces might be if you're not there.

So ask for a 3 day weekend 'cos your 89 year old Auntie Mabel wants to go swimming with dolphins in New Zealand. Or a week so you can put out all the bush-fires in Australia. The more fanciful and unlikely the story, the better. If you cannot think up good stories yourself, we can probably help you here (or in After Hours ). My only caution is not to involve any sexual elements - because he does sound creepy.