Summarise famous books in 23 words.

Bad Santa

Madonna - Sex.

What is that water fossett doing there? Oh good heavens. How old? On a public road? Naomi Campbell, what would your mother say.

Jesus Wept

Humpty Dumpty

Anthropomorphic egg sits on wall,
Aforementioned has a significant fall.
The king's horses and men tried to fix him but he was ****ed.

Axel Lamp

It

A clown, but he's not. A town that's in sh*t but denies it. Now I am afraid of clowns and their ilk.

Shlippery

A Song of Ice and Fire

A series of books where it's inadvisable to gain emotional attachment to any characters whatsoever for fear of horrible things happening to them.

JRant

Life of Pi.

Young lad takes loads of LSD and has a rare old time.

mawk

Tragically misraised boy with prophetic delusions nearly kills older brother who is back to kill asshole child-experimenting father. finds (s)he has uterus.

The wasp factory

mawk

young boy is pity-apprenticed to magician then kidnapped by aliens. Turns out to actually be super magic and **** gets biblical. starts long series.

Magician- Ray Feist

mawk

Young bond broker gets stuck playing middleman in ill fated romantic quagmire. but at one stage gets a free spin on a hydroplane.


Great gatsby

mawk

Its more or less jaws by peter benchley, except its a giant squid not a shark. Son of a bitch didn't smile though.

Peter benchley's creature

mawk

Written before titanic was found. they find titanic intact and raise her to get some radioactive gold. The film was somehow even dumber.

Raise the titanic

JRant

The Acid House-Irvine Welch

Collection of short stories that are somewhat distrubed but a well worth a read.

mawk

Young man externalises his new girlfriend's baggage by visualising the problems through a gamers mind's eye. Or maybe they live in a videogame??

Scott pilgrim series

mawk

These are fun!

Thrill

Stalingrad by Antony Beevor

Two massive armies, sent by two massive dickheads, slaughter each other amid the ruins of Stalingrad. Doesn't end well for the Austrian nutjob.

endacl

Born the son of a wanker. Grew up to be a self absorbed wanker. Now an utter wanker. His band was once good.

Scar Tissue - Anthony Keidis,

23. Exactly.

Capt'n Midnight

mawk wrote: »

Written before titanic was found. they find titanic intact and raise her to get some radioactive gold. The film was somehow even dumber.

Raise the titanic

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Every Clive Cussler book ever

Generally, they start well with an interesting bit of historical fiction, then Dirk Pitt arrives and it's all down hill. The first one you read is the best, if you read another you suddenly think:

"hold on, isn't this the same as the last one, except the chinese treasure boat has been replaced with an incan treasure boat, or a confederate treasure boat, and the neo-nazis have been replaced with, um, neo nazis"

.

But it's different this time because it's an Irish treasure boat.

Awful film , especially since it killed the company that did Thunderbirds and the Muppet Show :mad:

Capt'n Midnight

War and Peace.

There was war and peace.

Ellian

The Catcher In The Rye

I thought it was going to be about baseball but it turned out to be about some whiny annoying bloke in prep school

danslevent

Gone With the Wind

American Civil war, modern thinking but also sly Scarlett O' Hara ruthless in retaining land/gaining money. Ashley vs Rhett, gets neither.

Gambas

On the Origin of Species

All life originated from one. Species evolve because natural selection wipes out the unsuccessful. Won't mention humans evolving, but join the dots Victorians.

siltirocker

The Third Policeman

Is it about a money box?
Is it about a Policeman Fox?

Or at the end of days, is it about a bicycle?

dgt

Haynes manuals

That one piece of important information you were looking for isn't in there. The more spanners you see, the harder things will be

beans

Ia! Ia! Shub niggurath!

Ah 'ai chtenff fhtagn llll loig hupadgh mnahn' r'luh phlegeth, li'hee n'gah, y'hah!

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn...

mortarhate

Boy in coma drifts through episodes of fantasy and grim experiences in his life which led to the coma before meeting his retribution

AlmightyCushion

The Field - I don't really know. I didn't really pay much attention during English class as it was pretty boring. Doesn't matter, I still passed.

Seaneh

JustAThought wrote: »

Stories by 4 narrators in two parts about the adventures of a man. Sci-fi ending with strong moral & controversial content.

The Bible.

There's a lot more than 4 Narrators...

Capt'n Midnight

Whale sinks ship.

Queen-Mise

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

Starts in 19th Century with a notary, story rambles through to distant future, with unconnected characters, with same soul. No idea what its about.

Queen-Mise

The Outsider by Albert Camus

Man buries mother, no feelings. Shoots Arab, no feelings (sun in eyes). Courtcase, no feelings. Sentenced to death, realises life worth living (kinda).

Queen-Mise

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

Futuristic sci-fi, exceptional kid trained to be war leader,

what he thinks is computer model exercise, he has wiped out enemy planet.

Movies for this is coming out in November - so don't read spoiler if you don't want to know.

stateofflux

lord of the flies: remote tropical islands are boring & boredom kills

Jacks Smirking Revenge

Fight Club


Imaginary friends are dangerous.

Capt'n Midnight

Battle Royale

Lord of the flies, with automatic weapons.

tritium

Hamlet:

Danish prince goes bonkers over dead father. Kills friends, kills family, drives girlfriend nuts. All after seeing ghost. He dies in the end.

tritium

Romeo and Juliet:

Two kids fall in love but parents disapprove- hate each other! Desperate measures taken but go badly awry! They die in the end!

ejmaztec

The AA Book of the Road:

A handy publication for poor people without transport so they can pretend that they're going away on holiday in a car they haven't got.

allanb49

A man steals a loaf of bread, gets imprisoned, robs a church/child, becomes mayor, starts a revolution.

Les Misérables

Capt'n Midnight

Gorgo
Greedy sailors capture a giant lizard off the coast of Ireland and sell it to a London circus.

Then its mother shows up.

SouthTippBass

Robinson Crusoe

Man gets shipwrecked on an island, builds a fort, meets a negro, stays for 28 years and then gos home!