Aggressive Maine Coon cat

Eathrin

First off I am a recent cat owner, we rescued a stray cat's kitten. She is absolutely lovely. Playful, adorable, compassionate. Just 8 months old now. But that is not my problem.

My problem is with my girlfriend's Maine Coon. The cat is about 5 1/2 years old, lives with 2 black cats and 2 dogs (The MC seems to be dominant). My girlfriend is his mother, only seeks attention from her, sleeps with her, follows her into rooms etc. I've been going to her house for about 7 months now and I was told I'd have to be gotten used to.

Apparently the cat was put through a bit of trauma with the ex-boyfriend who threw objects at the MC, hit him and kicked him as well as shouting at him. A lot of this happened when my girlfriend was out of the room.
The cat has become less playful since and rarely comes close to humans to lay down.

I've been fascinated with the cat since meeting him, always showing him affection, feeding him, trying to play with him, petting him. He sometimes will leave his scent on me. However he always has his wide eyes on me, as if I am a predator, something he won't do to my girlfriend as he is far calmer with her, he knows she does not represent a threat, but he believes I do. I thought the cat would have warmed to me in this time? Surely I have my own scent that he recognises? I have never done him harm.

It's happened occasionally that the cat will lash out at me, bleed me with his paws, bite hard and hiss at me ferociously. To be perfectly honest it's made me more wary around the cat and somewhat scared of it and it's unpredictable nature. This usually happens while doing something completely ordinary like extending my arm slowly to pet him.

Does the cat hate men after what he was put through?
Is he scared for his life?
Will he ever see me as a friend, not foe?
Is he jealous of another male in the house, taking his female?

It feels like I've made very little progress with him.

Thanks

kylith

From what I understand of cat psychology: stop trying to make friends with him. The reason that cats always go straight to the person who doesn't like cats is that they hate eye contact, so leave him alone and he should come round when he realises you're not a threat to him.

Eathrin

I was told about the eye contact thing but I found it a strange one. The cat looks at you when its asking for food, where else will I look? Also I'm assuming it's okay for the owner to look at the cat in the eyes??

Nody

Eathrin wrote: »

I was told about the eye contact thing but I found it a strange one. The cat looks at you when its asking for food, where else will I look? Also I'm assuming it's okay for the owner to look at the cat in the eyes??

You looking it in the eye is taken as a challenge to the cat; don't. Simply be in the room, talk with your gf and ignore it utterly even if it jumps up next to you. Once it's used that you're around with out going after it etc. start giving it a treat a visit or so; it will soon associate you with good things instead.

Also have a look through "My cat from hell" series by Mr Galaxy; he'll give you plenty of insight into cats and how to approach them.

Maine coons can be like that. I dont know much about the eye contact as my cats love it.
You need to read the body language a little. Cats like to test boundaries. If you do nothing they will start getting closer and closer to you. That can work. But what you need to try is a bit of forced love also. let him do a bit on his terms and then you do a bit on your terms. Pick him up plop him on your lap and pet him.
I had one cat that was wild and successfully turned him into a lap cat. I had another cat that was a rescue who was afraid of his own shadow, now i cannot get off my lap.
You know he will start getting comfortable with you when he stands on you and starts pressing down with his paws. This is a big sign of comfort.
I managed to get this with the Maine coon which is not mine. I used the above tactics and he seems pretty cool now, still not 100% but we are friends.

Pumpkinseeds

It sounds like the poor cat had a rough time with men, so it's not surprising that its wary. I'd agree about watching Jackson Galaxy's My Cat from Hell, he's the most unlikely looking cat expert but he knows his stuff.

I always found that direct eye contact can make cats uncomfortable but slow eye blinking seems to send an 'I'm OK, you're OK so everythings safe' message. I'd let the cat come to you, let it do things on its own terms. Puss needs to suss you out and build trust in you. It would have built up trust in the previous boyfriend and been let down big time. Playing can help too. Just a matter of taking things slowly.

Eathrin

I will take a look at the cat from hell thing, thanks.

I believe cats open their eyes wide before they hunt, so if I blink regularly, will this communicate a certain safety?

The cat doesn't sit on anyone's lap. The three cats she owns are not socialised that way. The most social thing I notice the cat doing is being in the same room as his owner. One of her other cats will only allow me to pet her in her bed. The two black cats will attack you if you pick them up, even the owner, and the Maine Coon will meow uneasily to be let down after a few seconds and may hiss.

One of my main problems is how erratic the cat is. I pet him and feed him treats, without doing so excessively. I don't annoy him while he rests in the same room. I'm just very upset that the cat still has trust issues and feels the need to defend himself against me after 7 months. I'm not sure he'll ever get over the last guy who beat him.

My own cat loves to be picked up and comes into my room to sit on my lap constantly.

Pumpkinseeds

The whacky world of cats. We have 2 cats, both were strays that showed up in our back garden within a year of each other. 1 of them loves to sit on my husbands lap but very rarely mine, even though I'm the one who feeds and plays with them.

The other was a feral kitten. I spent a year coaxing him to come closer to me. He would run if I even looked out the window at him for months. Now he loves snuggle with me, he's not too sure about being picked up and is terrified of strangers. He is more mine than my husbands.

I tend to do the slow blinking when things are relaxed, like when you're sitting on the sofa and puss looks at you. Then just glance away and continue with whatever you're doing. I think a lot of cat behaviour comes down to how well socialised they are. Some cats just hate to be picked up or confined though. Ours couldn't be more spoiled but neither will tolerate being picked up for long.

Themadhouse

Sounds like the poor cat had an awful time of it and it will take time. Don't approach him, let him come to you. Hand feed treats without reaching out to touch him.
Don't stare at him as he will mistake this for staring him down, it's very threatening for a cat to be stares at. If you are looking at him blink lots.
Play things like da bird or laser with him, great for tiring out and you might find him a bit more approachable.
Maine coons are strong cats and I certainly wouldn't like to be on the back end of a bite or bunny hop from him, if you are just totally relax your arm, don't jerk it away.

It's not usual behaviour for coons, they are in general very docile, gentle giants. He does have some serious trust issues with men and its just going to take time and patience.

Eathrin

Themadhouse wrote: »

Sounds like the poor cat had an awful time of it and it will take time. Don't approach him, let him come to you. Hand feed treats without reaching out to touch him.
Don't stare at him as he will mistake this for staring him down, it's very threatening for a cat to be stares at. If you are looking at him blink lots.
Play things like da bird or laser with him, great for tiring out and you might find him a bit more approachable.
Maine coons are strong cats and I certainly wouldn't like to be on the back end of a bite or bunny hop from him, if you are just totally relax your arm, don't jerk it away.

It's not usual behaviour for coons, they are in general very docile, gentle giants. He does have some serious trust issues with men and its just going to take time and patience.

The ONLY thing we've found he'll play with are rolled up balls of tinfoil :pac:
He's hilarious galloping around the place after it, sliding to catch it and whacking his weight into the doors and walls.

It's strange. I never knew about Maine Coon cats before this and I'd like to get one in the future. I can see some of his good traits and I just wish he wasn't quite so messed up. I find myself sometimes downright scared of the thing though, as you said, he's huge and packs quite a punch.

sambuka41

My fella was a stray who was terrified of men from the start, I assumed he had a bad experience while out and about. It's taken him 4 years to get used to my boyfriend, 2 of those years he was living with us (the boyfriend I mean ) He is full of love for him now!!

Jack still scratches us though, and most of the time it's because we have ignored the signs that the scratch is coming. The twitchy tail, the rolling around looking for 'belly rubs' when really he's looking for a hand to massacre (my friend calls it the honey trap!!) I still fall for it!!

Be patient with him, esp if he is not used to too much affection in general. Playing games is a good way to get him on side. This is my boyfriends job, I think it was the thing that cemented the relationship.

Pumpkinseeds

Eathrin wrote: »

The ONLY thing we've found he'll play with are rolled up balls of tinfoil :pac:
He's hilarious galloping around the place after it, sliding to catch it and whacking his weight into the doors and walls.

It's strange. I never knew about Maine Coon cats before this and I'd like to get one in the future. I can see some of his good traits and I just wish he wasn't quite so messed up. I find myself sometimes downright scared of the thing though, as you said, he's huge and packs quite a punch.

The bigger of our 2 cats loves to chase the tinfoil balls too. They have to be a certain size or he's not interested though. Any bigger or smaller than a marble and forget about it. Just finished a session with my 2 and the Da Bird toy. It's brilliant, it mimics a bird flying through the air and they go nuts for it. I play with it in our bedroom so they tell me when they want to play with it by sitting at the bottom of the stairs meeping at me and looking up the stairs.

Eathrin

sambuka41 wrote: »

My fella was a stray who was terrified of men from the start, I assumed he had a bad experience while out and about. It's taken him 4 years to get used to my boyfriend, 2 of those years he was living with us (the boyfriend I mean ) He is full of love for him now!!

Jack still scratches us though, and most of the time it's because we have ignored the signs that the scratch is coming. The twitchy tail, the rolling around looking for 'belly rubs' when really he's looking for a hand to massacre (my friend calls it the honey trap!!) I still fall for it!!

Be patient with him, esp if he is not used to too much affection in general. Playing games is a good way to get him on side. This is my boyfriends job, I think it was the thing that cemented the relationship.

He scratches my girlfriend too if she is being excessively forceful with the petting to annoy him It's just that he'll do it in a more attacking way when it's me, a fight for his life.

I fall for "The honey trap" with the Maine Coon all the time, I've learned to keep my hands to myself, as tempting as it looks to give the belly rub. It's impossible to understand, they look like they're asking for it!! Alas you'll get the claws if you try anything, but I should know better in those circumstances

I'll keep on playing with him, though at 6 years old he seems a lot less interested in the ordinary than my 8 month old

Eathrin

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

The bigger of our 2 cats loves to chase the tinfoil balls too. They have to be a certain size or he's not interested though. Any bigger or smaller than a marble and forget about it. Just finished a session with my 2 and the Da Bird toy. It's brilliant, it mimics a bird flying through the air and they go nuts for it. I play with it in our bedroom so they tell me when they want to play with it by sitting at the bottom of the stairs meeping at me and looking up the stairs.

I looked at a short video and thought it was just a bird on a string? If it's a little more sophisticated maybe I'll try and get one, we have a fish on a string and my girlfriend says he used to be mad for it and now is afraid of these things flying through the air, especially if it's near his head (more of these trauma issues).

It's wonderful to actually see him play with the ball.

(PS. Should I be wary of putting my hand near him while playing with it? I got the feeling he may still be in play i.e. attack mode and go for my hand if I reach for the ball?)

Nody

If you put your hand in when playing you're telling him that your hand (and other people's hands) are ok to play with; so the short answer is no.

cuckoo

I've learned a lot about cat behaviour and communication from this blog

http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/why-do-cats-love-cat-haters/8099

Eathrin

The notion that I should ignore the cat to build up trust makes sense but will be very hard to do and I will have to have much patience.

Pumpkinseeds

Eathrin wrote: »

I looked at a short video and thought it was just a bird on a string? If it's a little more sophisticated maybe I'll try and get one, we have a fish on a string and my girlfriend says he used to be mad for it and now is afraid of these things flying through the air, especially if it's near his head (more of these trauma issues).

It's wonderful to actually see him play with the ball.

(PS. Should I be wary of putting my hand near him while playing with it? I got the feeling he may still be in play i.e. attack mode and go for my hand if I reach for the ball?)

We got the Da Bird as 1 of our chaps is a tad hefty and we need him to loose some weight. The way its designed it makes a sound like bird wings flapping. Its kind of like a big fishing lure and it spins about. Both of our guys go mad for it. Its about 3 feet long(pole) and we have the one that comes apart for storage. We got it on amazon, I think it was 6.99 sterling. I'm glad we got the refills as they've killed it already. Our chaps have had so many toys but this is their favourite of all time I think

Eathrin

I just felt like reporting back to this thread on the progress I've made.

I haven't been attacked in months, very seldom hissed at either.
The cat enjoys getting his belly rubbed by me now. When he's relaxed and I come to pet him he'll roll over or ball up on his side and let me rub his belly or stroke his paws
He also doesn't mind me picking him up either for short lengths of time, though he'll stay in my girlfriends arms longer (He'll still get fed up after a couple of minutes)
He's far more obedient now when I ask him to sit for his treat.
He sometimes sleeps in the bed with us and enjoys being pet at night.
He doesn't run when I walk by him on the stairs any more.

All in all, we've come on leaps and bounds the past 3 months or so and myself and my girlfriend are delighted.

Of course he still will always have that special bond with my girlfriend that I'll never have with him, but that just pushes me more to someday own my own Maine Coon

Thanks for all your advice guys

belcampprisoner

water pistol

DBB

Warning issued to Belcampprisoner for trolling.
Do not reply to this post on thread.
Thanks,
DBB

Pumpkinseeds

Eathrin wrote: »

I just felt like reporting back to this thread on the progress I've made.

I haven't been attacked in months, very seldom hissed at either.
The cat enjoys getting his belly rubbed by me now. When he's relaxed and I come to pet him he'll roll over or ball up on his side and let me rub his belly or stroke his paws
He also doesn't mind me picking him up either for short lengths of time, though he'll stay in my girlfriends arms longer (He'll still get fed up after a couple of minutes)
He's far more obedient now when I ask him to sit for his treat.
He sometimes sleeps in the bed with us and enjoys being pet at night.
He doesn't run when I walk by him on the stairs any more.

All in all, we've come on leaps and bounds the past 3 months or so and myself and my girlfriend are delighted.

Of course he still will always have that special bond with my girlfriend that I'll never have with him, but that just pushes me more to someday own my own Maine Coon

Thanks for all your advice guys

Thats brilliant news, well done:)