the fairy tale happy ending is actually a bit scary!!

LegacyUser

I've met my ideal man and we've been in a long distance relationship for 18 months. When it came to living together, it seemed the obvious choice for me to move to be with him. He has a house and a permanent job in one place, I have only casual work and share a rented apartment in another place. So I'm moving away from my friends and family and, while mainly excited about new things, I'm feeling the fear too. I almost feel slightly resentful because everything is easy for him, but hard for me. I'm the one that will have to make new friends in a strange place, I'm the one who won't be near my family and I'm the one who will have to try to find work in a part of the country where work is even harder to come by. I know its silly, and people make sacrifices for relationships but how do you REALLY know you're making the right decision?

cantdecide

unregistered wrote: »

...how do you REALLY know you're making the right decision?

You don't. All you can do is commit and really give it a proper go. Sometimes it works great and you have a wonderful life. Sometimes this doesn't happen but you're not leaving the planet. Your current family and friends are going nowhere. There's no guarantee this will be a painless experience but you will feel differently in 3 months for better or worse but today, you're bound to have these nerve. Anyone would.

Good luck.

Meauldsegosha

unregistered wrote: »

I know its silly, and people make sacrifices for relationships but how do you REALLY know you're making the right decision?

Nobody knows if they are making the right decision. Hopefully it is but if not you learn from the mistake and move on with your life.

wendydoll

The only thing I would be worried about is going from a long distance relationship straight to living together. I know personally I would rather do long distance to living close to each other to see each other more often and then move in together.

Would you maybe consider finding somewhere cheap to rent close to where he lives. At least that way if things don't work out down the line you don't have to pack up everything and leave "his" house. And its always nice to have your own space, gives you space to entertain new friends etc

RubyWoo83

unregistered wrote: »

how do you REALLY know you're making the right decision?

You don't, no-one ever does. Worse case scenario, you break up and move back home.

Personally, I think it's a great. You have the opportunity to widen your circle of friends, experience a new place and get to spend more time with the person you love.

It's not really fair to resent him, like you said it makes more sense that you are the one to move. Don't overthink things, just go with it and enjoy it!

brandom

Well I am in somewhat similar circumstances except the opposite way around , I mean that he is the one who is moving to where I am, for similar reasons, it just makes more sense to do it this way. I have to say that I am very aware of how hard it will be for him, and I am sure that your boyfriend knows how difficult it will be for you, especially at first. I think that its important to maybe agree to review things after a period of time, so that if you are really unhappy you can talk it out and try to figure out what will work for you both. Good luck !