opinions please= fair or unfair?

1234509876

I am looking for some advice. I worked in a bank on a contract for 3 months. I was told at the beginning that I may very well get to stay longer. It was a very busy role and I worked very hard. At the start i found it difficult as it was non stop work but i got used to it then. I was happy in the job and did my best. However, my manager called me in to speak to me towards the end of the contract. She told me she would not be extending the contract and that i would be finishing on the date agreed with the agency who got me the job. I was very upset when she gave me negative feedback.
She told me I didn't integrate enough into the team and that I should have asked to be shown something else to do ( i was a bit confused by this as i was always busy for the complete day doing what i was asked to do and i never had time left over. i was told to work on a specific area and that is what i did)
She also told me i wasnt enthusiastic but i know i worked very hard.
BUT... The part that confused me the most was when she said I should have gone for lunch with my co-workers. I feel like I need to get some fresh air and walk around outside on lunch. I also sometimes went home to my house for lunch. I felt I needed a break from the building for my lunch hour to unwind. I think I would go insane if I stayed inside the building all day every day. I observed the people working there and they liked to stay inside but is it wrong that i wanted to go out for my lunch? I was hurt that the manager emphasised this point in my negative feedback. Is it really that important to eat lunch with your colleagues? I never knew this and I was never rude to anyone there so it came as a surprise. Should I have in fact gone for lunch or was she being unreasonable? Surely me wanting to get out at lunchtime shouldn't interfere with me holding down a job?
I feel as if these reasons are why she didnt choose to keep me longer as other people had their contracts extended.
I apologise for the length of this post but as I am very shy and quiet, i didn't say anything back at the time when she spoke to me. I simply agreed with her and thanked her. I wasn't expecting so I was a bit stuck for words.
I feel like a failure but yet I tried so hard..

Mrs OBumble

Unfair.

Very unfair, especially the bit about spending lunchtime with your colleagues.

I'd chalk it up to her being a cow.

But make sure you go and have a chat to the agency that placed you there if you want more work out of them (the agency, not the company): they know very well that there are two sides to every story, but do need to hear your story from you in a calm manner too. AND there's a chance that she didn't even tell the same story to the agency!

phoenix999

OP don't fret. Shyness is something that you can overcome. We aren't all extroverts jumping about the place with our positive vibes and bubbliness. Plenty of good books that you can buy to help with communication skills and gaining confidence. Clearly the person had never heard of positive feedback. And she could clearly do with some extra training herself. I worked in the public service for many years. I was civil to my work colleagues and we went for the occasional lunch and after work drinks. But I did not want to spend every lunch hour with them. So she was being rather petty to say the least.

Cedrus

I agree, it's very unfair, a lunch break is exactly that, a break from work to have YOUR lunch. I can understand a manager wanting their team to get on but if they want bonding sessions they must make time for it on their time or organise social events after work, they can't demand that it takes place during your break time.

You should definitely talk to the agent and put your side of the affair;

• You wouldn't be doing yourself justice if you didn't.
• The agent might be wondering why that manager has a high churn level and why they can't get anyone to stay.
• You are entitled to credit for working hard for a nutter and still finishing your contract as you had committed, a lot of people on short contracts can't say that.
• Next time you get a job from them, you want a job suited not just to your abilities but also to your personality and with a team an manager who respect you and understand you (OK, maybe you just want a job but given a choice......)

Wanderer2010

Extremely unfair, you should be judged on the merit of your work and not what you choose to do for your hour off, but sadly this seems like the kind of place where a few members of the clique can control what management think and do so they put too much emphasis on newbies fitting in with the clique rather than doing good work. Sounds like weak management with no spine in my opinion, OP. I know its an upsetting thing to happen but try to put it behind you and use any work skills you gained for your next job. Having lunch with your workmates isnt required in many places and personally I would find it painful as so many of them are boring and false people.

I hope you get a new job soon OP

Boombastic

Very unfair

petersburg2002

OP, some people confuse shyness with arrogance or people who are rather full of themselves. And some employees don't know how to handle it. It says more about them than you. Confidence is the key, and this will come in time. It seems you are lucky to get out when you did. I remember working in a large office a few years ago. A young lad in college started with us during the summer. He would blush at the drop of a hat. But a few of the girls went out of their way to ask him for tea breaks and lunch. I thought it was really nice, and it did wonders for this guy who really came out of his shell. A happy work place=happy workers.

Nody

A bit unfair but the simple fact is you were not seen trying to become one of the team; hence your contract was not extended. The not going to lunch was used as an example in this case but if you'd been seen socialising excluding lunches the story might have been different. Chalk it down to experience and keep in mind to look at least as you socialize in your next position (for example ask people how their weekend was, take coffee breaks with different people etc.).

mari2222

It sounds unfair, but chalk it up to experience - dont worry about it - a different employer might have seen your performance quite differently.

BuffyBot

BUT... The part that confused me the most was when she said I should have gone for lunch with my co-workers. I feel like I need to get some fresh air and walk around outside on lunch. I also sometimes went home to my house for lunch. I felt I needed a break from the building for my lunch hour to unwind. I think I would go insane if I stayed inside the building all day every day. I observed the people working there and they liked to stay inside but is it wrong that i wanted to go out for my lunch? I was hurt that the manager emphasised this point in my negative feedback. Is it really that important to eat lunch with your colleagues? I never knew this and I was never rude to anyone there so it came as a surprise. Should I have in fact gone for lunch or was she being unreasonable? Surely me wanting to get out at lunchtime shouldn't interfere with me holding down a job?

I'm going to throw out an alternative point of view. The lunch issue is one thing: Perhaps she felt that you were isolating yourself from the team. I doubt it was a demand that you stay there all the time with the team, but team work/team building is an important part of many roles. It's quite possible you didn't strike an approriate balance here and simply withdrew due to your shyness etc. Depending on where in the bank you work, trust is a massive thing. The team needs to get to know you, and you the team. Someone who simply "ghosts" (i.e clocks in, does task assigned, disappears) isn't conducive to this.

Secondly, being busy doing something all day and not having time left isn't always a good measure of success. Were you doing it right? Could you have done it better/more efficiently and then done other things? Asking for feedback is almost always better than waiting more it.

There are two sides to every tale. Of course it's never good when something comes to an end. Take it, however, not as an ending but a learning: work is all about meeting others half way. You will have to find ways to overcome your shyness: and putting yourself outside your comfort zone is one way to do it. So yes, you may have to lunch with people. You may need to speak up and ask questions.

Feel down (it's natural), but don't feel a failure. Learn from this, and promise yourself that next time, you can do it. If you don't overcome the shyness aspect, you'll end up in a repeating cycle, which won't help you at all.

tony81

Maybe you could use the criticism constructively and in future read the situation a little better. Take note of how others in the office behave. Obviously your team were put out by what they perceived as a boycott of their lunch breaks. This cast you in a bad light so you became an outsider (v common for temps to be seen as outsiders anyway). this feedback reached the manager who then had to make a decision: upset the existing team by making you permanent, or let you go at the end of your contract.

Try not to take it personally. You Could do the job, but you just weren't the right "fit" for the company.

Irish_Elect_Eng

1234509876 wrote: »

......At the start i found it difficult as it was non stop work but i got used to it then.

I would suspect that in trying to excel at your work initially you missed that period of bonding with colleagues, when they saw you with your head down, did they think "unfriendly" rather than "dedicated" people's perspectives often differ from our own.

......She told me I didn't integrate enough into the team and that I should have asked to be shown something else to do .

Perhaps she meant that she saw you struggling and noticed that you did not go to more experienced colleagues for help, she then developed the opinion that you were not a self-starter.

.....She also told me i wasn't enthusiastic but i know i worked very hard.

It's hard to measure this one, it's in the eye of the beholder. Did you ask her for feedback during you time there before the contract ended. Different workplaces have different expectations of independent effort outside of direct instruction from a superior.

.... I should have gone for lunch with my co-workers.


Not everyday but, Yes, lunch, water cooler, coffee room, corridor, photocopier or meeting room, you should have taken the opportunity to build relationships and a network of co-workers.

.....I observed the people working there and they liked to stay inside but is it wrong that i wanted to go out for my lunch?

No of course it is not wrong that you wanted to go out for lunch, but did you do it every day? The use of the word observed here is telling, it implies that you saw yourself outside the teams, perhaps the team also saw you in this way. I am sure that your manager got some feedback from more senior team members on your performance before making her decision, if they did not know you or feel that you were on their team then they probably would not have offered a supportive opinion.

.....Is it really that important to eat lunch with your colleagues?

Not lunch specifically per-se, but you do have to build a relationship with your colleagues if you are to be effective working in a team environment. There are roles that suit individualistic people and roles that require more interdependent behavior.

As a manager I assign responsibility for tasks to individuals in my team that are outside their individual capability, but I know that they will reach out to their team mates for their expertise and complete the tasks. To achieve this they need functional work relationships with each other.

..... I am very shy and quiet.

This is a costly luxury in many workplaces and like any trait that is holding a career back it can be overcome with some self-reflection, self-education, support, hard work and finding the right team to join.

.....I feel like a failure but yet I tried so hard.

You are not a failure.:eek:

Learn, Move-On, Succeed!