Concert Tickets

kildaremum

What would you do? About a year ago I bought 3 concert tickets, 1 for my daughter and the other 2 for her friends. This concert has not taken place yet. Unfortunately the girls have fallen out. One girl is the stronger personality, the other has fallen in behind her and my girl is left (crushed, crying and so sad). Anyway the tickets arrived recently for the upcoming concert and my daughter told the girls she would be giving them their money back and not the concert tickets because she wants to go to the concert and she can't go on her own. I feel bad about the whole situation, but mostly so sorry for my girl. She won't go to the concert on her own and sit beside them - she just doesnt have that strength. I'm sure I should give the tickets, but I'm saying I own them, they are issued in my name and I have decided not to resell them. One of the parents strongly disagrees along the lines that its too bad my girl is left on her own but the others paid me for these tickets and they belong to them. What would you do?

Dr Sunshine

Difficult situation and I sympathise with you. If your daughter got the tickets as a present and was bringing the other two friends I would say fair enough let her bring someone else. However, if there was an agreement that you would get the tickets on your card and the others would pay you for them, then I think you should honour this and give them the tickets.

If the concert is not for a while they may resolve their differences. I don't know what age your daughter is but can you talk to her about the row and the possibility of making up?

I would avoid having any heated discussions with the other parents - tell them you need a little time to think about it and will get back to them.

kildaremum

The girls are 17. It seems my girl feels she has been excluded from the group over a number of months, things like telling her about places they have gone, but not asking her to join them. Being cordial to her if she texts but never texting her. Saying there is no room in their mams car when they were going out over Christmas but didn't want to go in my car (more seats) and said they would see her there (but my girl wouldn't go on her own). I don't think there is any way back from this and I feel so bad for her. She is really being bullied by being excluded now from the larger group because of this one more popular girl. I probably will give the tickets but I feel its so unfair. I haven't got into heated discussions with the other parents just 2 texts to one parent but I am also so surprised at her "too bad your girl cant go" view when the girls were close for a number of years. I suppose she is looking out for her girl.

Dr Sunshine

Hi Kildaremum,

That must be so hard for your daughter and hard for you as a mother to watch it going on. It's always difficult with 3 friends, I remember similar situations myself and have seen my own younger teenager being excluded like this a bit lately.

Has your daughter asked them why they are doing this? It may be jealousy on the other girl's part - maybe she sees your daughter as a threat to her friendship with Girl No.3? Girls can be so bitchy sometimes.

Either way I think all you can do is try to listen to your girl, boost her self esteem as much as possible and try to get her to socialise with others who are not as involved with this group. If you think she is being bullied might be useful to talk to the school.

If the concert isn't sold out could you try to swap the ticket for different seating? Hope it works out for you all.

January

I think, they're 17, let them work it out on their own, if your daughter wants to give them their money back and try and find someone else to sell them to then that's her choice. I wouldn't be getting involved with my 17 year old daughters friends parents and I think I'd have been embarrassed if either of my parents had done the same.

kildaremum

I see your point January. The reason why I'm involved is because one of the parents texted me saying 'as the girls have fallen out I will just collect the ticket from you' to which I replied saying we were returning the money etc.

CookieMonster.x

They were clearly not true friends to begin with. Tell your daughter to move on and find new friends because, speaking from experience, if she makes up with them she will probably end up hurt again. (I'm also 17).
I think they best thing would be to give them their tickets. You don't want any drama in school or online (believe me, a lit goes on and girls can be extremely mean). However of your daughter got them as a present then that's a different story. Perhaps you could try and see of there are people wanting to swap tickets online.
It's a tough situation to be in and it tough on your daughter. She's better off without them if that's how they treated her.

homeandabroad

Dear kildaremum, I feel for you! We have been there and done that and the behaviour of the other two girls is definitely bullying. I admire your daughter's courage for being able to stand up to them and give them their money back (certainly not an easy situation for her to handle, I would imagine). Your daughter has clearly decided how she wants to handle it and deserves to be supported. her friends have treated her badly and she is owed at the very least an apology.

My daughter went through a very similar situation. The day she walked away from them with her head held high and made new friends was the best decision she made.
Your daughter should consider the following options IMHO:
1.She doesn't want to go with them? she could ask them to buy her out and they take all the tickets
2.She gives them their money back and goes with other friends
3. She puts up with them one last time and goes with them (maybe this isn't an option)
Whichever decision she makes you need to help her think it through and the consequences for option2 could be that she starts a massive row with them. Is she ok with this?

Whatever she decides, she has made a good start by standing up to them. Now she has to decide what is the least confrontational and most dignified way to deal with them. They have treated her very badly and hurt her but she should resist stooping to their level. This was the approach we took and it certainly paid off, one year later my daughter has new friends and the two madams who made her life a misery are generally disliked in the school.

Good luck and chin up! These situations are heartbreaking but there are better times just round the corner and valuable life lessons are learned from dealing with these issues

kildaremum

Thanks all for the replies. It has brought to light that these weren't true friends and I have spent a lot of time telling her she will make more friends and move on with her life but she is still very upset. I suppose it is a life lesson. I feel it is something she will put behind her and move on from (I hope anyway) but I don't think she will ever forget it.

Are there more tickets available for the concert OP?

kildaremum

No there are no more tickets available at this stage.

The thing is, you have been paid for these tickets, so in my opinion, the people who have already paid for them, own them. It would be wrong to give them their money back when no other tickets are available.

kildaremum

Passed on the tickets. Hope that saga is over and done with now.