Bulllied at Work :(

havingabadday

X

saiint

stick up for youself
dont be bullied
tell your boss the situation you have with this women
if that doesnt work or if he refuses
take it higher again and bring it to the head of the department

could you possible ask to be moved into a different office ?i dont know how you managed for so long like this
5 years is a long time been bullied
if i was you i would take a stand against it
if your work is up to date
and alls well and good they cant fire you for nothing
if the head of department refuses to do anything, take it further and bring her to court for harrssing i wouldnt let it go mate , but thats just me
although i would explain the situation first with your boss and see if any changes can be made or if he could have a talk with her
but theirs no way i would let someone who is the same grade as me boss me around i would tell her to shut the ... up and ... yano the rest
hopefully she gets the sack because bullies should not be tolerated in any envoirment

havingabadday

X

Stheno

havingabadday wrote: »

I hate it when anyone tells me what to do, I have been very unproductive and unmotivated because of the way she behaves towards me. I look like the baddie even though I genuinely am not.

Your first two statement certainly don't backup the third.

I'd just move, who wouldn't want to move office if the person they share with is a bully?

Have you ever reported your colleague?

havingabadday

X

Stheno

havingabadday wrote: »

Yeah maybe, but have you ever been bullied??!!
If I move I give in to all of her demands and I have no idea what comes next.
I have never reported it, I have blamed it all on myself, you have never been bullied?

Yes, and I reported it and it was investigated and dealt with using the companies anti-bullying policy.

So are you saying she has demanded that you be moved, as opposed to your boss moving you to a different area?

What are her demands?

smellsfunny

Where is the new office? Is it close to your other one? I don't see the problem if it gets you away from her?

havingabadday

X

Stheno

havingabadday wrote: »

I didn't report it on time and that's my problem now.
The 'new office' is one with no heating, no bathroom, it's outside and beside the waste compund! No way I'm going there! My boss (via the bully) is suggesting that I move.
I'm not going, I'm just wondering how far can my boss go?!

Unless it's in your contract that you will work in room x, they can ask you to move at any time.

I'm sure they will get you a radiator, and you'll still have access to toilets in the overall complex surely?

havingabadday

X

Stheno

havingabadday wrote: »

So you think I should move and say nothing? I have considered that, I just don't know what else is coming down the line. A student is going to be put in my place, it's a bit embarrassing to say the least!

Maybe the student is being put there to learn from your colleague, who regardless of the reasons for it, may be seen to be more motivated and productive than you are.

If you are going to continue to work with your current colleague you need to start keeping a log of their bullying (applying lipstick and using her looks to get what she wants don't count btw) and use your companies anti bullying procedure to initiate a complaint with evidence/details.

havingabadday

X

Long Term Louth

havingabadday wrote: »

I share an office with a very bossy woman. She is the same grade as me but has been telling me what to do for about 3/4 years now. I am laid back and quiet and non argumentative.Two weeks ago my boss asked me to leave my office, he was moving me to another office. I told him I wasn't happy and today I told him that I wasn't moving and that it was absolutely non negotiable. He is going to make a complaint about me and I am really upset. Why does the bully get to stay and I have to go? She has worked in the office for 5 years while I am there 6. I think they are going to put a student in my place and I am seriously humiliated.
What can I do?
Any suggestions are very welcome
Thanks for reading.

Someone telling you what to do doesn't constitute bullying, you say your boss is going make a complaint about you, to who, he is your boss? Sounds a bit dodgy...

Stheno

havingabadday wrote: »

You are right, I am useless and should just accept it.

I never said anything of the sort tbh, you yourself said that you are demotivated and unproductive at work. Now there is a student coming in, who needs to learn.

Logically it makes sense to have them learn from the best person, and it's possible based on what you posted that it's your co-worker and not you from your managers perspective. You've also said that you now take breaks/lunch alone due to your colleague, but your managers perspective may be that it's not good teamwork/social interaction with your colleagues, and again they may not think that best for a student.

Therefore they need you to move office as a result.

Definitely start keeping a log.

smellsfunny

havingabadday wrote: »

I didn't report it on time and that's my problem now.
The 'new office' is one with no heating, no bathroom, it's outside[/B] and beside the waste compund! No way I'm going there! My boss (via the bully) is suggesting that I move.
I'm not going, I'm just wondering how far can my boss go?!

Sure it is :rolleyes:

Stheno

Long Term Louth wrote: »

Someone telling you what to do doesn't constitute bullying, you say your boss is going make a complaint about you, to who, he is your boss? Sounds a bit dodgy...

HR most likely to start a disciplinary procedure if necessary.

Long Term Louth

Stheno wrote: »

HR most likely to start a disciplinary procedure if necessary.

What?

Stheno

Long Term Louth wrote: »

What?

HR = Human Resources, if OP has been asked to move office, and is objecting with no real basis for it, then her manager may go to HR to have it investigated to see if it's something they get a possible warning for.

foxinsox

There are some things not clear in your post.

Why are you being asked to move office?

Who is asking you to move office?

Do you currently share an office with "the bully"?

Why do you not want to move office?

It can be hard to give advice without more detail.

Mrs OBumble

OP, You've asked what you can do: well the first thing is that you can put in a complaint about her bullying! You see it as the "bully" winning - but if you've never complained, then you have never given your manager any opportunity to sort the problem out.

After that, you need to work out you actually want to happen here? Do you want to continue sharing an office with the woman, and having her bully you for the next how-ever-many years until one of you retires? Really? Even if you do, I'm not sure that is realistic: there will be changes in the company, people will need to change offices sometimes.

Technoprisoner

you could have grounds for constructive dismissal if you were to walk out. What your boss is doing is isolating you and is also a form of bullying. Make a formal written complaint and seek legal advice!!!

foxinsox

havingabadday wrote: »

I am being asked to move office because it's to small for two people, why is this suddenly the case after 6 years?? My boss is asking me but my office mate has mentioned it also. Yes, I share an office with the 'bully'. I'm not moving because I was there first!!

Ok, now I get you a bit more, thanks.

You are being asked by your boss to move office.

I think you would have been better to discuss it with your boss at the time when he/she first mentioned moving. Maybe then mentioned that you weren't too keen on the idea of moving.

As it was a few weeks ago when your boss asked you, from your posts it doesn't seem like there was any discussion. Then you said that you were not moving, it is non-negotiable.



Reading it from an outsiders point of view a few things jump at me:

Your boss had no idea of you not wanting to move office until a few weeks later you said you were not moving, but didn't give a reason, your boss might think that's a bit of an over reaction as they have no idea why you are upset.

Your boss does not have any idea of how you feel bullied.

Your boss does not have any idea of why you are so adamant not to move office.

It comes across (if I was your boss) as if you just don't want to move and are being stubborn about it for reasons unknown (to boss).


Jobs and businesses change, for whatever reason they boss has decided he wants you to move office, the boss is the boss, you cannot just refuse to move without giving an aedequate reason and giving management a chance to remedy the situation. There may not be a remedy and you might have to move office.

I would suggest you ask to meet your boss and explain your actions and explain why you don't want to move office. Be positive and not confrontational, remember your boss (as far as I know) has no idea of all the stuff going on with the other woman.


Best of luck.

Maire2009

Why not move - take yourself out of the situation - and use it to your advantage? Work yourself really hard and show you are a good team-player and invaluable to the company.

When you didn't get the answers you wanted above it seemed you were sulking, if you do that at work what message does it send? Moaning and feeling sorry for yourself is not standing up for yourself and if you are of the meek type, let your work do the talking.

Vojera

I'm not saying you should give up and move, but it might do you the world of good to get away from this woman. I reckon you'd feel ten times better and far more motivated if you had a bit of distance between you.

If you really want to stay in the office, perhaps ask your boss to explain the reasons better to you. It makes no sense to say the office is too small for two people but then to put a student in there in your place. If you have concerns about the heating and toilet facilities in the new place, bring those up too. Those are concrete things that your boss can understand.

The most important thing, I reckon, is that from now on you keep impeccable records about incidences of bullying. If and when you report her in the future, the more information you have the better.

Long Term Louth

There is no evidence in the OPs posts to suggest they are been bullied

smellsfunny

havingabadday wrote: »

So I am just imagining it all? Maybe you are right.

Why is the new office outside with no electricity, heating or toilet and beside a dump :rolleyes:

the_syco

havingabadday wrote: »

I have been very unproductive and unmotivated because of the way she behaves towards me.

havingabadday wrote: »

She is the same grade as me but has been telling me what to do for about 3/4 years now.

havingabadday wrote: »

She has worked in the office for 5 years while I am there 6

Sounds like the boss is moving you because you are unproductive, and may view the other person as knowing how to do your job better than you, as you let her tell you what to do. Also, how much you know always tops how long you've been there in the private sector.

havingabadday wrote: »

Two weeks ago my boss asked me to leave my office, he was moving me to another office. I told him I wasn't happy and today I told him that I wasn't moving and that it was absolutely non negotiable. He is going to make a complaint about me and I am really upset.

As you're unproductive, you're being reassigned to another sector. As the boss doesn't know that you are been bullied, your refusal to move when asked to do so is seen as without reason, so he's going through the proper channels to get you to move.

You should go through proper channels about the bullying, or you'll loose the fight. Keeping quite and rolling over just allows the bully to win.

havingabadday wrote: »

Yeah maybe, but have you ever been bullied??!!
If I move I give in to all of her demands and I have no idea what comes next.
I have never reported it, I have blamed it all on myself, you have never been bullied?

Yes to the first question. Ask the boss what the other office contains? You are seeing this as the bully winning, but if you do not know what you'll be moving to, how do you know that you're not moving to a better place?

havingabadday wrote: »

I'm not going, I'm just wondering how far can my boss go?!

As you're not moving for no reason at all (well, none that the boss knows of, anyway), you'll get probably get warnings, more warnings, gross misconduct, and finally dismissal.

Technoprisoner wrote: »

you could have grounds for constructive dismissal if you were to walk out. What your boss is doing is isolating you and is also a form of bullying. Make a formal written complaint and seek legal advice!!!

Careful here. If the OP has not told the company of any bullying, he has not given the company any chance to fix the problem. I'm unsure how the LRC would view that?

Wanderer2010

OP, you really need to have a meeting with your boss asap to explain that you feel bullied by this woman, giving examples of when she is trying to boss you around despite the fact you are the same grade. This is the reason you have been less than productive lately and they you would like to make an official complaint about it. Since its only the two of you in the office it boils down to your word against hers, but your manager is not able to read minds so if you dont bring it to their attention and start the official complaint procedure (does your company have an anti-bullying policy) then you just come across as being stubborn for no reason.

Best of luck with it OP..

Technoprisoner

the_syco wrote: »

Careful here. If the OP has not told the company of any bullying, he has not given the company any chance to fix the problem. I'm unsure how the LRC would view that?

hence why i told the op to make a formal written complaint

looksee

havingabadday wrote: »

Yeah maybe, but have you ever been bullied??!!
If I move I give in to all of her demands and I have no idea what comes next.
I have never reported it, I have blamed it all on myself, you have never been bullied?

So I am just imagining it all? Maybe you are right.

I'm not moving because I was there first!!

You are right, I am useless and should just accept it.

OP, some of your responses have been explaining your actions, but with no evidence of willingness to co-operate or be proactive. You said yourself that you haven't discussed it with your boss, yet you are digging in your heels and refusing to move.

Some of your responses are just petulant. You are doing seriously sorry for yourself! Replies have been endlessly patient and understanding of your situation, but you are not showing any signs of doing anything about it.

I really doubt whether what is happening could be considered bullying. You have allowed the person in your office to tell you what to do for the past four years or so, and excused yourself with 'I am laid back'. Someone else being bossy isn't an excuse, either accept that you need to be prodded to do anything or stand up for yourself. But you have to also be willing to do some work. You have also said that you are unproductive and unmotivated. Why should the firm pay you at all in that case?

Surely you should be looking at ways of making yourself more productive and motivated. Yes, maybe you are being pushed sideways, in order to let someone who is productive and motivated get on with the job. I would imagine the 'bossy' woman has finally got fed up of trying to push you to work, while doing half of your work as well as her own!

I think you need to give some serious thought to how thin the ice is under your feet, and what you need to do to get to a safer place.

smellsfunny

The OP is trolling, new office has no electricity, no bathroom, is outside and is beside a dump.