She's too skinny...

Stench Blossoms

mood wrote: »

Maybe I'm wrong but I think people seem to think it's acceptable to say to someone 'your so skinny'. If some said the someone 'your so fat' people would be horrified.

I don't think either comment is acceptable.

I agree. Neither is acceptable.

Another thing that bugs me is generalizing people by their size.

At my highest weight I was a size 12. Most people would say 'thats not fat' but I am just over 5 foot. A size 12 most defiantly is overweight and fat for me, for my size.

mood

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

I agree. Neither is acceptable.

Another thing that bugs me is generalizing people by their size.

At my highest weight I was a size 12. Most people would say 'thats not fat' but I am just over 5 foot. A size 12 most defiantly is overweight and fat for me, for my size.

I agree that height and even muscle need to be kept in mind when thinking about size etc. Size 8 is healthy for someone 5ft 2" but could be under weight for someone over 6ft.

sunbeam

To a certain extent frame counts as well. I'm five foot three but very stocky. At my thinnest in the early 90s I was a size 14. This was before sizing changed radically and a 14 was bust 35/36 waist 25/26 and hips 37/38. I had developed an eating disorder and was painfully thin, with ribs that stuck out through my clothing.

That's not to say that this size wouldn't be suitable or even a little too large for other women of the same height.

On the subject of sizes, I remember back in the 80s when a size 10 was 32-22-34 *eek*

mood

I take no notice of size. It how the clothes fit that counts not the number on the tag. It's only a guideline.

CathyMoran

I am 5ft 1 in tall but would be hour glass in that I would be a 6-8 on the waist, 10 on the chest and hips - it makes getting clothes interesting as it is hard to get things that really fit. I am a healthy weight for my size though maybe could do with gaining 7 lb. I am also in my late 30's. I do still feel that my hips are hiuge but have to remind myself that they are not.

rainbow kirby

sunbeam wrote: »

On the subject of sizes, I remember back in the 80s when a size 10 was 32-22-34 *eek*

My mother was smaller than that again before she had kids - too small to fit into a size 10 in the early-mid 80s, she was around 7st at 5'4". She was still in childrens clothes a lot of the time until she was about 4 months pregnant with me at age 21.

baby and crumble

You know, I'm really surprised that some people here report people commenting to them about their weight! Like I said, I'm overweight but no-one has ever said anything to me.

I agree also about build- there actually IS such a thing as big boned! I'm never, no matter how much actual weight I loose, be much less than a 16, MAYBE a 14 but I doubt it. And my arse is tiny.

mood

I'm a naturally thin person and have got comments (most not meant to to nice) about my weight all my life. Some people are so rude. I would love to reply 'and your so fat' just to see the reaction I would get!

April O Neill

baby and crumble wrote: »

In fairness, by today's standards, both of those would be classed overweight at the least. Monroe was a size 16.

Gah, no she wasn't!!! Wish people would stop perpetuating this myth. With a 22-24 inch waist, size 16 - are you kidding? Jane Russell's measurement put her at a size 8-10.

baby and crumble

April O Neill wrote: »

Gah, no she wasn't!!! Wish people would stop perpetuating this myth. With a 22-24 inch waist, size 16 - are you kidding? Jane Russell's measurement put her at a size 8-10.

Ok look. Not trying to be an asshole here but about 5 people have pointed this out during the thread already. I said fair enough, and tried to move on.

Twee.

mood wrote: »

I take no notice of size. It how the clothes fit that counts not the number on the tag. It's only a guideline.

Been working in retail for years, I always say to customers "the right size is the size that fits". If it bothers you that much, cut out the tags

I've had it both ways, women wearing clothes too big and others too small. I had a lady trying on size 14 jeans, they were far too big for her. I managed to coax her into the size 12 and she couldn't believe it! They looked amazing, no saggy bottom or things, the belt was for decoration and not to hold them up!

Obviously it can be harder to convince someone to go a size up, but if it looks better then it doesn't become the "bigger dress", it's the dress that looks most fabulous!

Stheno

baby and crumble wrote: »

You know, I'm really surprised that some people here report people commenting to them about their weight! Like I said, I'm overweight but no-one has ever said anything to me.

I agree also about build- there actually IS such a thing as big boned! I'm never, no matter how much actual weight I loose, be much less than a 16, MAYBE a 14 but I doubt it. And my arse is tiny.

I'm five foot eight, 9 stone 6, bmi of just under twenty, cup size e, and a 34 inside leg.

I've had people to my face call me a skinny bitch, comment on my eating habits (i'm not a health nut, but I'll have a sandwich at lunch, not a sandwich, crisps, chocolate and a coke), have had others tell me what people say about me etc.

Build/height do come into it, I've a small build, but I eat well, don't worry about what I eat, and have never been on a diet, my Dad was the same.

I would never dream of commenting on someone else's weight to their face, they may (in the case of being overweight) be pregnant, suffering from an illness (I'd a colleague with the form of thyroidism that causes you to put on weight) and given my perspective on it, people feel far freer to call me a skinny bitch than to call the size 30, a fat cow.

I was ill recently and lost weight which is far more noticeable at my height/weight than someone heavier and even had male colleagues/friends comment on it.

You can please some of them all of the time, but you can't please all of them all of the time

I work in a physically demanding job, and interview people for the same job. It's an interesting mix in terms of thin/normal/fat that work with us, but what we look for most is interest and enthusiasm, and above all credibility

I've suffered in the past as I don't look my age, just goes to show there is lots of discrimination out there

April O Neill

panda100 wrote: »

Kiera Knightley has always been skinny and athletic.

Yes. But there has been phases where she was clearly a lot thinner than she should be. Sunken cheeks and the like.

http://tinyurl.com/awm3oyf

panda100 wrote: »

The only reason she looks 'emaciated' in comaprison with other celebrities, is because she doesn't have fake tits.

Hardly. Most actresses don't have big boobs. Ignore the Z-listers.

As for Mischa, she has actually filled out a lot in recent years. Her natural shape is quite pear-shaped.

2rkehij30qtza5

I get the "you need to eat more" comments from women all the time. I eat LOADS, am
not in any way dieting or trying to watch what I eat. Everyone in my family is slim, it's just in my nature.

I feel when people comment like that to me that it is just downright rude. It just doesn't sit right with me, makes me uncomfortable.

There's one culprit in particular who constantly says it to me and I feel I have to constantly defend the fact that I am the size that I am (size 6-8). I just don't get it.

It'd be like me telling someone who is overweight that they need to eat less!!

A lot of people say things like "oh you are lucky to be so skinny etc" and in reality they haven't a clue what they are on about. Why does it make me lucky? It doesn't...it just makes me who I am. Clothes that suit me mightnt suit someone who is heavier and vice versa. Not EVERYTHING suits skinny people! It's just a myth. Anyway, bottom line is that I think it's incredibly rude to comment on a person's weight unless you are asked for their opinion.

April O Neill

baby and crumble wrote: »

Ok look. Not trying to be an asshole here but about 5 people have pointed this out during the thread already. I said fair enough, and tried to move on.

I'm not trying to be an asshole. Maybe you shouldn't be so sensitive about being well and truly called out on it.

Post reported, by the way. There is no need for name-calling.

Lyaiera

Twee. wrote: »

Been working in retail for years, I always say to customers "the right size is the size that fits". If it bothers you that much, cut out the tags

This is it so much. Watch any of the dressmaking videos on youtube, or stuff about tailors in Savile Row and they make no reference to sizes and when they do they make references to sizes based on their own published charts.

There's so much variance in body types that it becomes impossible to determine official sizes. Some people can have the same measurements in h/w/c but wear completely different size clothes because of how the body changes between those measurements, how the body is shaped in those measurements and where their hips/waist etc. falls on the body.

There's a much, much bigger demand for alterations in the past few years. During the boom years people just bought whatever they could find that would fit, often going through tonnes of clothes to get the right fit. The recession has meant that people are more concerned about keeping clothes for longer but a result of that has been there's far more people who realise that you're unlikely to find a proper fit off the rack unless you happen to fall into the frame a designer worked off of.

Go back fifty years and the vast majority of women would have altered their own clothes, and a huge amount of men would have paid for a tailor to alter their suits.

Then if you go right down to body you'll find that you have to do a huge amount of tests before you can determine if someone is healthy or unhealthy and all of that is separate to fat or skinny. Stuff like BMI is a basic measure, a quick guide to whether a person falls within certain limits but after that if you want a true indicator you have to do much more testing.

Sports and especially weightlifting is probably the biggest proponent of this kind of thing. There's a huge effort at the moment to try and get women into weightlifting, not as sports thing but as a simple health thing. Probably the best example of it is when you see pictures of male teenagers on dating sites showing off their "six packs." The thing is they don't really have six packs, they just have such low body fat that their abdominal muscles give an outline of a six pack. When really their abdominal muscles are hugely underdeveloped and have no real definition.

A lot of women don't do weights because they don't want to look "muscley" a lot of science has shown that it's incredibly difficult for 99% of women to look like a bodybuilder. Female bodybuilders have to have incredibly rigorous diets and do a huge amount of wieghtlifting before they get to that level of muscle definition. There's even been studies that have shown it's nigh on impossible without steroidal help.

And a lot of these studies have shown that very skinny people are just as unhealthy as very fat people, but in different ways. They've also shown that some overweight people and some technically underweight people can be much more healthy than people who fall into the perfect weight and size categories.

The reality is that there's no strict rule for what "healthy" is. It's not an exact science to say someone is or isn't unhealthy. You have to use indicators of how much people eat, how they eat, what type of exercise they get, how often they exercise and all that. And when you get to off the rack clothes the designers don't care one bit about "health" but about hitting a certain bracket of people they can design for.

Twee.

April O Neill wrote: »

I'm not trying to be an asshole. Maybe you shouldn't be so sensitive about being well and truly called out on it.

Post reported, by the way. There is no need for name-calling.

I gather from her post she was not trying to sound like an asshole, not implying that you were.

baby and crumble

April O Neill wrote: »

I'm not trying to be an asshole. Maybe you shouldn't be so sensitive about being well and truly called out on it.

Post reported, by the way. There is no need for name-calling.

I meant I wasn't trying to be an asshole, not you. If anything I was calling myself names! Sorry if you took it up the other way.

I have no issue with being "called out on it", (oh no, I made a mistake, how terrible!) I just don't see the point in sayin the exact same thing as everyone else did.

Edit: yes, twee that's it. And I'm sorry for probably going off topic here.

Twee.

No worries, we posted at the same time

Salty

April O Neill wrote: »

I'm not trying to be an asshole. Maybe you shouldn't be so sensitive about being well and truly called out on it.

Post reported, by the way. There is no need for name-calling.

Baby and crumble was referring to herself as "not trying being an asshole," not to you. Unfortunate misreading of a comment, that.

I used to be friends with a girl who was obsessed with everyone else's bodies and figures, constantly passing bitchy remarks about "how skinny" so-and-so was and how she would hate to be "that skinny." All of these girls were naturally slim, none of them were what I would describe as skinny at all and had killer figures. Of course it was all jealousy in this case. I found it horribly grating to listen to, such insensitive comments being passed on others.

Two years ago when I was preparing for the Leaving Cert I felt like I had put on a couple of pounds through stress and comfort eating, and was discussing with this particular friend about how I'd lose it once the exams were over. I was immediately met with "if you lose any weight you'll be far too skinny, your legs will look like twigs!":rolleyes: At five foot one and a size 10, I was never gonna look like a fricking twig if I lost three to five pounds after my exams.:rolleyes:

Edit: was typing this comment when Twee and baby and crumble replied just before me
Editx2: typo!

April O Neill

baby and crumble wrote: »

I meant I wasn't trying to be an asshole, not you. If anything I was calling myself names! Sorry if you took it up the other way.

I have no issue with being "called out on it", (oh no, I made a mistake, how terrible!) I just don't see the point in sayin the exact same thing as everyone else did.

Edit: yes, twee that's it. And I'm sorry for probably going off topic here.

I started reading the thread and replied to posts as I read them.

I'm just exasperated with a long-disproven myth that I've been hearing about since my teens (the 90s) still being trotted out. I mean, look at her, that's barely even a 12, never mind a 16.

April O Neill

_meehan_ wrote: »

Baby and crumble was referring to herself as "not being an asshole," not to you. Unfortunate misreading of a comment, that.

Already been cleared up. I guess it was unfortunate. *shrugs*

Nice passive aggressive response though, that.

Twee.

Let's move on. Thanks.

April O Neill

_meehan_ wrote: »

I used to be friends with a girl who was obsessed with everyone else's bodies and figures, constantly passing bitchy remarks about "how skinny" so-and-so was and how she would hate to be "that skinny." All of these girls were naturally slim, none of them were what I would describe as skinny at all and had killer figures. Of course it was all jealousy in this case. I found it horribly grating to listen to, such insensitive comments being passed on others.

This girl sounds insecure,and yes likely jealous.

In general, I hate the "jealousy" accusation though. It's too easy, and pretty lazy. It genuinely might not be jealousy, just genuine concern. And it's easy to brush off what someone says as jealousy, means you don't have to think seriously about what they've said.

CathyMoran

My BMI is just over 20 but I always get people saying to me that I need to gain weight but that I look healhier than before when I was only 45Kg. It bugs me that curvy is associated with being overweight - I have a defined waist but am bigger on the hips and chest.

hollypink

I'm surprised that so many women get negative comments on their weight, whether they are slim or overweight, it's horrible that some people need to make themselves feel better by making nasty comments on other people's size I was 2.5 stone heavier this time last year, and overweight for my height (BMI of 28) and while I was very unhappy with my body, I don't remember anyone else saying anything. My BMI is 22 now, and I've had lots of positive comments and just a couple of negative ones, and those I feel were not intentionally being mean but were taken aback by the change in how I looked.

Clothes sizing in different shops is annoyingly inconsistent and stupidly I am influenced by the size on the label. It did please me that I fit into size 6 jeans from Dorothy Perkins which is just daft because I wear size 8 jeans from A-Wear and I'm a 10 in shops like Topshop and River Island, so the number is entirely meaningless.

Do you think you should never comment on someone's size, even to say something you meant in a positive way like "that would look good on you as you're nice and slim"?

Stench Blossoms

hollypink wrote: »

Do you think you should never comment on someone's size, even to say something you meant in a positive way like "that would look good on you as you're nice and slim"?

TBH I wouldn't. For all you know that person might be trying to put on weight and the 'slim' comment might not go down to well.

BUT! If you know the person and know they are actively trying to lose weight then a comment like that might not be so bad.

Malari

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

TBH I wouldn't. For all you know that person might be trying to put on weight and the 'slim' comment might not go down to well.

BUT! If you know the person and know they are actively trying to lose weight then a comment like that might not be so bad.

I think a better comment is saying that an item of clothing suits a person's shape.

Gauge

TBH I never comment on people's weight. In my opinion it is none of my business, just like my own weight is none of theirs. I might make an exception if I know with 100% certainty that someone is working hard to lose or gain weight and that they would appreciate the compliment but even then I tread carefully. I also refuse to participate in "fat talk" with other people. It doesn't lead to anything good.

This is partly to do with the fact that I've fluctuated myself- I've never been particularly thin but I've been overweight, and I've been on the thinner side of average. When I was at my lowest weight it was mostly due to the fact I was in a total depression and didn't have the energy to cook or eat, or socialise. I've never received so many compliments on my figure as I did then and it made me feel like absolute crap at the time. Eventually I got better and put the weight back on (and then some) due to the fact I was able to socialise regularly and find joy in cooking again. But people acted like I'd done something wrong. I got the concerned comments (What happened? You looked so good the last time I saw you!) and unsolicited tips/advice (Join weight watchers, it worked for my cousin, etc).

At the end of the day, you just can't win. People are so pass remarkable and someone will always think you're doing it wrong. I don't discuss my diet or exercise regime with people for that reason. I've been told I'm too heavy to be lifting weights and that I should use cardio to lose as much weight as possible before I even think about touching a weight and even then 5kg is the maximum I should lift, I've been told I have NO chance of losing weight because I won't do a low carb/keto/paleo diet, other people say I shouldn't be eating more than 1200 calories a day, I've been told that protein shakes will make me fat, the list goes on.

People have said that you'll never hear a fat person being told they're fat. Fair enough, I've never been called fat to my face except by the occasional eejit in a nightclub or some brave feckers driving roaring it at me from their car (while I was jogging at the time! It really upset me then, but I have to laugh at the irony now). But you still get judgey comments, and assumptions. People comment on your food. People make snide remarks about "healthy choices". At my heaviest weight I was able to run 10 kilometres and a few people reacted with such visible shock when they found out that yes, I did exercise regularly. It's not the same as being called fat directly but I'm sure there's a few people here who can identify with how rotten it makes you feel.

So yeah, basically, you don't know where someone is on their journey. It would be nice if we could all co exist without getting hung up on what "curvy" means and which body type has the right to use it, and be proud of our own bodies without throwing other body types under the bus.

rainbow kirby

Gauge wrote: »

some brave feckers driving roaring it at me from their car (while I was jogging at the time! It really upset me then, but I have to laugh at the irony now).

No matter how over or underweight someone is, there are always some absoulte eejits out there who will shout at them from a car when they see them out running. I've had a "run fat bitch run" at the end of an 18 mile run during marathon training, just had to laugh at that...

Gauge

rainbow kirby wrote: »

No matter how over or underweight someone is, there are always some absoulte eejits out there who will shout at them from a car when they see them out running. I've had a "run fat bitch run" at the end of an 18 mile run during marathon training, just had to laugh at that...

You really do just have to laugh! As a self conscious person just starting the Couch to 5k program I took it hard at the time. I went home and cried. I've invested in better headphones since so now if someone's going to yell at me I probably won't hear them.

Another time I had "GO ON LANCE!" yelled at me from a car when I was on my bike, which I thought was funny.

MissFlitworth

Gauge wrote: »

People have said that you'll never hear a fat person being told they're fat. Fair enough, I've never been called fat to my face except by the occasional eejit in a nightclub or some brave feckers driving roaring it at me from their car (while I was jogging at the time! It really upset me then, but I have to laugh at the irony now). But you still get judgey comments, and assumptions.

Yep. I very rarely got comments that flat out said 'you're too fat' but I did get

'Oh, arent you lucky you don't have to think about your weight, I could never eat that much for lunch'

'Time to come back down off those sweets now, Christmas is over'

'Ooooh, on your shape, are you sure? You'd be better off with nice drapey fabrics' (My Mam had me dressed like a walking rail of material swatches till I was old enough to buy my own things - oh the flowyness, the crushed velvet, the cheesecloth, the skirts with bells on them...)

(at a gym induction) "Now, when I want something sweet I'd go for a 2 fingered kit kat instead of a packet of biscuits or a king sized snickers....you know, portion control"

Plenty of ways of saying 'jesus, you're fat' without using the words.

Gauge wrote: »

At the end of the day, you just can't win. People are so pass remarkable and someone will always think you're doing it wrong.

Too true - I was super overweight when I was younger and my little sister was very slim. Burnt into my memory is the day we went shopping for clothes with my Mam & Auntie and on when a pair of trousers were 'unflattering' on me and a dress was too big on her 'Ooooh - you have too much & [SisterFlitworth] has too little' (That one still burns but I let it go because whatever I got from them about my weight they got by a factor of 10 from my grandmother)

I will also never forget the day when I was half way through losing the weight I needed/wanted to lose and to be careful I didn't end up 'skinny fat', as in that I had best make sure that when I got to a healthy weight I was also toned. My jaw just dropped - no matter what weight you are, no matter what your body shape is there will ALWAYS be someone to tell you it's not good enough. Not toned enough, not thin enough, too thin, hips too big, hips too small, boobs too big, boobs too saggy, boobs too small... the list just goes on. Commenting on people's bodies, unless asked, in any way whether it's a flat out insult, mock-complement ("oh my god, you skinny bitch!" - agh!! shut up!!), snide dig, criticism hidden in a 'helpful suggestion' etc. should just not be on

DeltaWhite

I wish there was a rule where women couldnt be bitchy to one another about weight....... SIGH what a great world that would be I would be a much happier, more confident person in that world!

username123

Perhaps its different as you get older but the last 2 people I know who became underweight turned out to have cancer so I can see why people would associate extreme weight loss as a negative thing. In one case the guy in question was annoyed with people telling him he had gone very thin (he was dieting) and only went to get checked out under duress from his wife.

I have been very underweight as a result of illness myself and I know what maintaining that level of thinness entails. There is a big difference between someone being slim and someone being underweight.

Gauge

MissFlitworth wrote: »

I will also never forget the day when I was half way through losing the weight I needed/wanted to lose and to be careful I didn't end up 'skinny fat', as in that I had best make sure that when I got to a healthy weight I was also toned. My jaw just dropped - no matter what weight you are, no matter what your body shape is there will ALWAYS be someone to tell you it's not good enough. Not toned enough, not thin enough, too thin, hips too big, hips too small, boobs too big, boobs too saggy, boobs too small... the list just goes on. Commenting on people's bodies, unless asked, in any way whether it's a flat out insult, mock-complement ("oh my god, you skinny bitch!" - agh!! shut up!!), snide dig, criticism hidden in a 'helpful suggestion' etc. should just not be on

To be honest I loathe the term "skinny fat". Mostly because I see it bandied about in crappy magazines as a way of bringing down thin women- oh, they're thin, but they're not "healthy", so they're still not good enough. *insert close-up picture of cellulite on a skinny actress at the beach*

But then- you can't be thin and too muscular either, you'll get criticised for being too "masculine".

There is no winning- the only thing to do is ignore the criticism. But sometimes that's easier said than done!

Honey-ec

What disturbs me so much about the whole weight issue is that there doesn't seem to be any middle ground at all anymore. On the one hand you have the size zero debate and the goalposts seem to be moving all the time in relation to what the "ideal" size is, and then on the other we keep being told that the entire Western hemisphere is heading for an obesity epidemic. Is there anybody left in the middle with a healthy, middle-ground attitude to diet, weight & exercise???

Added to this is the very real phenomenon that a lot of people can no longer actually tell what is and isn't overweight, due to how normalised being overweight has become in Western society. As the average dress size creeps up, people compare themselves to that and think they're fine, or only a little overweight, when in reality they're several stone past where they should be.

IMHO it is just as dangerous & irresponsible to hold Beth Ditto up as a role model to young women as it is Keira Knightly/Kate Moss/skinny celeb du jour.

gossipgirl10

I have to agree that sizes can vary an awful lot from shop to shop but at the same time I think it's good to use these sizes at least as a guideline if you are trying to maintain your weight at a healthy level for you... i'm a size 10/12 and if I went shopping and tried something on in the 12 and it was too small I wouldn't automatically go and buy the size 14 instead... for me personally if I am shopping and suddenly the size I have always worn for years no longer fits then I try to improve my eating / exercise habits to lose a few pounds.

I'm a bit of a hoarder when it comes to clothes I still have stuff from years ago that I still wear as I have remained the same size give or take a few pounds so I find it hard to understand how people who gradually put on more and more weight and become dangerously obese will just keep buying the bigger size every time their current clothes get too small. surely it must get to a point where you think enough is enough and try and improve your lifestyle and overall health

April O Neill

MissFlitworth wrote: »

'Oh, arent you lucky you don't have to think about your weight, I could never eat that much for lunch'

'Time to come back down off those sweets now, Christmas is over'

'Ooooh, on your shape, are you sure? You'd be better off with nice drapey fabrics' (My Mam had me dressed like a walking rail of material swatches till I was old enough to buy my own things - oh the flowyness, the crushed velvet, the cheesecloth, the skirts with bells on them...)

(at a gym induction) "Now, when I want something sweet I'd go for a 2 fingered kit kat instead of a packet of biscuits or a king sized snickers....you know, portion control"

Plenty of ways of saying 'jesus, you're fat' without using the words.

Oh my good god. :eek:

Proof surely that women on both sides of the spectrum get pass-remarkable numpties spewing verbal diarrhoea.

My sister is overweight and has had stuff said to her in the street. Not sure why people think this doesn't happen and that's it only thin women who get people negatively commenting on their appearance?

I have complimented women on their figures plenty down the years though, it never occurred to me that it might not go down too well.

April O Neill

Honey-ec wrote: »

On the one hand you have the size zero debate

This always irked me. Where was there a debate, other than the media? It was apparently something all women were discussing but I never heard it discussed anywhere. A media construct entirely, down to the sensationalist use of size zero in countries where that sizing isn't used.

You'll see size 4 clothing in some shops, in small amounts, but only ever in the petite section, as it is entirely possible that a short woman could be naturally size 4.

XxMCRxBabyxX

April O Neill wrote: »

This always irked me. Where was there a debate, other than the media? It was apparently something all women were discussing but I never heard it discussed anywhere. A media construct entirely, down to the sensationalist use of size zero in countries where that sizing isn't used.

You'll see size 4 clothing in some shops, in small amounts, but only ever in the petite section, as it is entirely possible that a short woman could be naturally size 4.

Well these kind of debates will always start in the media. I have heard and been involved in discussing the topic many a time. For some women it is an issue as they get hung up in having to be that size, I've seen it happen,

meeeeh

gossipgirl10 wrote: »

I have to agree that sizes can vary an awful lot from shop to shop but at the same time I think it's good to use these sizes at least as a guideline if you are trying to maintain your weight at a healthy level for you... i'm a size 10/12 and if I went shopping and tried something on in the 12 and it was too small I wouldn't automatically go and buy the size 14 instead... for me personally if I am shopping and suddenly the size I have always worn for years no longer fits then I try to improve my eating / exercise habits to lose a few pounds.

I'm a bit of a hoarder when it comes to clothes I still have stuff from years ago that I still wear as I have remained the same size give or take a few pounds so I find it hard to understand how people who gradually put on more and more weight and become dangerously obese will just keep buying the bigger size every time their current clothes get too small. surely it must get to a point where you think enough is enough and try and improve your lifestyle and overall health

This. And I'm not against commenting on weight. Not all comments are bitchy, some are made when people are genuinely worried. Those are usually made by people who know you well and no matter how insulted you get they are well meaning. I think weight fluctuation can tell a lot and can be a sign that someone is under stress or ill.

I have no time though for nasty comments that some people are so fond of. I just ignore them. But there is also third kind of comments that men in your life make when your arse or breasts are getting too small or big for their liking. I usually just laugh at them.

April O Neill

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Well these kind of debates will always start in the media. I have heard and been involved in discussing the topic many a time. For some women it is an issue as they get hung up in having to be that size, I've seen it happen,

Maybe they do, but to me this seemed to be the media getting really worked up about nothing. This was a step up from any other body-related media stuff, IMO.

I have genuinely never discussed it or heard of anyone trying to get to that size.

mood

meeeeh wrote: »

This. And I'm not against commenting on weight. Not all comments are bitchy, some are made when people are genuinely worried. Those are usually made by people who know you well and no matter how insulted you get they are well meaning. I think weight fluctuation can tell a lot and can be a sign that someone is under stress or ill.

I have no time though for nasty comments that some people are so fond of. I just ignore them. But there is also third kind of comments that men in your life make when your arse or breasts are getting too small or big for their liking. I usually just laugh at them.

But when you have been the same size and weight since your teen years with not fluctuation in weight at all it is obvious people are just being nasty. If you doctor is not concerned about your weight then there is not a problem. I've had nasty comments from people I've only meet which is crazy.

Username567

"She's lost too much weight" often means "I'm not comfortable with her being more attractive than me" IMO.

Noodleworm

In people with eating disorders being told their 'too skinny' is often actually desirable.
I think people get very confused by the whole curvy title too. Its generally used not to insult skinny women, but to make the more average sized women that their is nothing wrong with them. Most women in the healthy weight range fell feel uncomfortable with their body in some way. People tend to forget the female body is supposed to have some fat storage.

The people who are actually fat are likely not in denial, but just trying to in some way feel ok about themselves, as these days everyone seems to think fat-shaming is justified, not realizing overweight people are very aware of their size, and would generally need some confidence and self esteem if they are to change their life style to achieve a healthier weight.

meeeeh

mood wrote: »

But when you have been the same size and weight since your teen years with not fluctuation in weight at all it is obvious people are just being nasty. If you doctor is not concerned about your weight then there is not a problem. I've had nasty comments from people I've only meet which is crazy.

All I'm saying is that not all comments about weight are the same. It depends on the circumstances. And I think parents or close friends should comment when they are genuinely worried. There is a difference between nasty or just thoughtless comments and comments made when people are worried about you. I met a friend after about eight months and she didn't lose her baby weight but more likely gained some. My only thought was she must be under stress, I hope she is ok. I didn't say anything because it is not my place to comment since I see her only sporadically now but I am a bit worried. And I hope that my close ones would say something when they would be concerned for my health.

mood

Noodleworm wrote: »

In people with eating disorders being told their 'too skinny' is often actually desirable.
I think people get very confused by the whole curvy title too. Its generally used not to insult skinny women, but to make the more average sized women that their is nothing wrong with them. Most women in the healthy weight range fell feel uncomfortable with their body in some way. People tend to forget the female body is supposed to have some fat storage.

The people who are actually fat are likely not in denial, but just trying to in some way feel ok about themselves, as these days everyone seems to think fat-shaming is justified, not realizing overweight people are very aware of their size, and would generally need some confidence and self esteem if they are to change their life style to achieve a healthier weight.

But why should I have to listen to nasty comments about my body so someone can make themselves feel good? I have no issues with my body but do feel bad sometimes as a result of such comments.

These days everyone seems to think slim-shaming is justified.

mood

meeeeh wrote: »

All I'm saying is that not all comments about weight are the same. It depends on the circumstances. And I think parents or close friends should comment when they are genuinely worried. There is a difference between nasty or just thoughtless comments and comments made when people are worried about you. I met a friend after about eight months and she didn't lose her baby weight but more likely gained some. My only thought was she must be under stress, I hope she is ok. I didn't say anything because it is not my place to comment since I see her only sporadically now but I am a bit worried. And I hope that my close ones would say something when they would be concerned for my health.

But in MY case I have never lost weight so there has never been concern just nastiness.

April O Neill

Username567 wrote: »

"She's lost too much weight" often means "I'm not comfortable with her being more attractive than me" IMO.

This could be part of it indeed, but as women are judged so much by our looks, is this really that surprising?

meeeeh

mood wrote: »

But in MY case I have never lost weight so there has never been concern just nastiness.

I was talking in general. I'm lucky that people around me were never overly nasty and only comments I'd get would be toughtless. The one that takes a biscuit is my fathers if I have trouble zipping up my coat (size 12) a month after giving birth when he is obese since his thirties.