She's too skinny...

padi89

borderlinemeath wrote: »

She has a really fast metabolism and stresses a lot about various things. For breakfast she has toast or if she's running late she gets a croissant or a danish in the shop, she has mid morning snacks then lunch is usually something like soup & sambo or pasta, for her dinner she has potatoes, veg and meat or fish. She loves chinese takeaway and chipper chips and I've seen her put away a big bag of kettle chips all by herself.

There's no hidden disorder or anything like that, she genuinely stresses about her lack of weight and how bad she looks.

That would be similar to what I would eat just to maintain my weight and my motabalism is pretty high. If I want to gain I have to eat much more to make gains.
The last poster said she should go to a gym and do weights, that is pointless if she is not eating enough to build muscle.

mood

padi89 wrote: »

That would be similar to what I would eat just to maintain my weight and my motabalism is pretty high. If I want to gain I have to eat much more to make gains.
The last poster said she should go to a gym and do weights, that is pointless if she is not eating enough to build muscle.

I've built up muscle in the gym but I do eat a lot.

borderlinemeath

mood wrote: »

I eat a lot more than that on a daily basis!

If she is serious aobut putting on weight why doesn't she see a nutritionist and join a gym and do weights?

She eats plenty. How do you know the portion sizes she eats? I'm merely saying she does eat and eats quite a lot compared even to me. (she can finish a chinese takeaway in one sitting, I can't )

Her problem is she's always on the go - to work, from work, she has an active job and then she comes home does the housework, walks the dog and then maybe sits down at around 8/9pm. She stresses about stuff too much though, and I always think it's part of the problem. She worries about my niece (who has a long term illness) she worries about her weight, she worries about other family members, she worries about keeping her job. There's always something worrying her, she can never seem to shut off and relax.

Going to a gym would completely freak her out. She would feel like a fish out of water in a gym, (and also worried that people would think she had a disorder). Besides the fact that she would end up with the body of Sarah Jessica Parker, still too skinny with protruding collarbones and wierd little muscles on stick thin arms.

Galwayguy35

Madam_X wrote: »

It's unusual, but a small number of people seem to stay thin. A male friend of mine for example is aged 34 and nine stone with a tiny waist. He loves his beer and white bread, the only exercise he does is walking to and from work (which isn't far and there's just a small hill on the walk back). He never goes out for a long walk or run, ever. He sits around a lot watching TV, on the net, listening to music, reading. Now I will say he doesn't eat a huge amount, so that's definitely part of it. And when he's on the beer (every week) he sinks loads of pints. But what he does eat is hugely comprised of high-calorie foods. I know if I had his lifestyle I would be pudgy. He would actually like to be bigger, because sometimes he finds it hard to buy clothes that suit him.

It can be the reverse too - a small number of people who put on weight more easily than the average person.

Both of the above are unusual, and generally speaking, the way to lose weight is reduce/burn calories; the way to put on weight is to exceed calorific requirements/be sedentary... but there are exceptions. Perhaps those people have unusually fast/slow metabolisms?

Fo a guy like that maybe he should consider doing some weightlifting and taking protein shakes to put on some muscle.

I know 2 guys like that as well, both of them 6 footers and only about 67kg which is very light for a man.

padi89

Madam_X wrote: »

It's unusual, but a small number of people seem to stay thin. A male friend of mine for example is aged 34 and nine stone with a tiny waist. He loves his beer and white bread, the only exercise he does is walking to and from work (which isn't far and there's just a small hill on the walk back). He never goes out for a long walk or run, ever. He sits around a lot watching TV, on the net, listening to music, reading. Now I will say he doesn't eat a huge amount, so that's definitely part of it. And when he's on the beer (every week) he sinks loads of pints. But what he does eat is hugely comprised of high-calorie foods. I know if I had his lifestyle I would be pudgy. He would actually like to be bigger, because sometimes he finds it hard to buy clothes that suit him.

It can be the reverse too - a small number of people who put on weight more easily than the average person.

Both of the above are unusual, and generally speaking, the way to lose weight is reduce/burn calories; the way to put on weight is to exceed calorific requirements/be sedentary... but there are exceptions. Perhaps those people have unusually fast/slow metabolisms?

I already said it doesn't matter that your friend eats junk and sinks pints it's still not enough. I eat junk and drink beers most weekends and still don't gain, that's on top of 5-6 meals a day. There is no mystery about it it's still not enough to gain but it's enough to maintain its that simple.
The motabalism excuse is overused if its high then enjoy it and eat more than everyone else.

padi89

mood wrote: »

padi89 wrote: »

I am consuming enough calories. I have a huge appetite like all my family. I am a healthy size and weight for my height and build. My doctor and consultant are very happy with me height and over all health. Just because I don't put on weight despite eating a lot doesn't mean I need to put on weight.

Your consuming enough calories to maintain your weight simple as.
I never said you had to put on weight? You said you can't put it on.

Daveysil15

Madam_X wrote: »

It's unusual, but a small number of people seem to stay thin.

It can be the reverse too - a small number of people who put on weight more easily than the average person.

Both of the above are unusual, and generally speaking, the way to lose weight is reduce/burn calories; the way to put on weight is to exceed calorific requirements/be sedentary... but there are exceptions. Perhaps those people have unusually fast/slow metabolisms?

It's not that unusual. Plenty of people have fast/slow metabolisms. I know a few guys who eat very little and they're big guys.

I've always been slim despite eating like a horse and lifting weights regularly.

What I find the most annoying however, is all these diets and exercise programs that celebs bring out. "Follow this program and you'll look like such and such a person." It's riduclous. Everbody is different. If I follow Stallone's regime I'm not going to look like Rambo.

mood

padi89 wrote: »

mood wrote: »

Your consuming enough calories to maintain your weight simple as.
I never said you had to put on weight? You said you can't put it on.

You are assuming I am trying to gain weight. I am not. I tried in the past and didn't work for me. I am happy with my body and health and so are my doctor and consultant. I don't even think about my weight because I've no body hang-ups but I do hate getting b*tchy comments now and again.

padi89

borderlinemeath wrote: »

She eats plenty. How do you know the portion sizes she eats? I'm merely saying she does eat and eats quite a lot compared even to me. (she can finish a chinese takeaway in one sitting, I can't )

Her problem is she's always on the go - to work, from work, she has an active job and then she comes home does the housework, walks the dog and then maybe sits down at around 8/9pm. She stresses about stuff too much though, and I always think it's part of the problem. She worries about my niece (who has a long term illness) she worries about her weight, she worries about other family members, she worries about keeping her job. There's always something worrying her, she can never seem to shut off and relax.

Going to a gym would completely freak her out. She would feel like a fish out of water in a gym, (and also worried that people would think she had a disorder). Besides the fact that she would end up with the body of Sarah Jessica Parker, still too skinny with protruding collarbones and wierd little muscles on stick thin arms.

If she is always on the go then there is your answer in plain English right in front of you, why did you leave that out in the initial post? She's going to have to take on more fuel than everyone else around her to maintain that and even more so go gain.
The gym won't do that to her body shed have to get brutal advice for that to happen

padi89

mood wrote: »

padi89 wrote: »

You are assuming I am trying to gain weight. I am not. I tried in the past and didn't work for me. I am happy with my body and health and so are my doctor and consultant. I don't even think about my weight because I've no body hang-ups but I do hate getting b*tchy comments now and again.

I assumed nothing. You said no matter what you eat you don't put on weight. I'm saying that's impossible, simple.

mood

padi89 wrote: »

mood wrote: »

I assumed nothing. You said no matter what you eat you don't put on weight. I'm saying that's impossible, simple.

It's not impossible. It is a fact for me anyway. A good few years back I spend about a year trying to gain weight and it didn't happen. Looking back I only tried to gain weight because a so call friend keep putting me down regarding my body. She made me feel miserable and trying to gain weight and failing made me feel even worse. I then said 'f*ck her and her opinions'. I was and am happy and healthy and don't need to gain weight to make her happy. She was the one with body issues.

PS I don't appreciate being practically called a lier.

padi89

I'm not calling you a liar I am telling you that you just didnt eat enough it really is that simple, it's basic maths.

mood

padi89 wrote: »

I'm not calling you a liar I am telling you that you just didnt eat enough it really is that simple, it's basic maths.

I am telling you I eat loads. A lot more than my female friends.

I am also telling you I am a health weight (being slim does not mean you are underweight).

MY DOCTORS SAYS I AM PERFECTLY HEALTHY.

I am not going to reply to anymore of your posts and would appreciate if you don't reply to any of mine.

Novella

mood wrote: »

I eat a lot more than that on a daily basis!

If she is serious aobut putting on weight why doesn't she see a nutritionist and join a gym and do weights?

I don't think your comments are particularly helpful to the discussion. Somebody says their sister is slim and finds it difficult to put on weight and you jump on it, accusing the girl of not eating enough etc. The attitude you are displaying is unfair.

So what if you eat more on a daily basis? Not everybody has to eat what you eat. I certainly don't eat more than what was listed. Some people genuinely are small framed and comments like, "She's not eating enough" are just so flippant and dismissive.

purplecow1977

mood wrote: »

I am telling you I eat loads. A lot more than my female friends.

I am also telling you I am a health weight (being slim does not mean you are underweight).

MY DOCTORS SAYS I AM PERFECTLY HEALTHY.

I am not going to reply to anymore of your posts and would appreciate if you don't reply to any of mine.

You've said that about 8 times now in this thread.

I'm beginning to think you ARE a bit paranoid about it!

Why not just say 'my doctor says I'm a healthy weight' and leave it at that.

No need to repeat and repeat [and repeat].

padi89

Suits me fine because you keep twisting this into me having an issue with your weight.
I am merely stating a FACT that you just can't seem to or don't want to grasp.

Malari

mood wrote: »

I am telling you I eat loads. A lot more than my female friends.

I am also telling you I am a health weight (being slim does not mean you are underweight).

MY DOCTORS SAYS I AM PERFECTLY HEALTHY.

Padi89 is not commenting on whether you are a healthy weight or not, just responding to your comment that you can't put on weight. Anyone can put on weight if they eat many more calories than they consume. People with faster metabolism may have to significantly increase their calorie intake to notice any weight increase though. Others may notice a weight increase with only a slight increase in calorie intake. That's all, it's not a personal attack.

purplecow1977

mood wrote: »

I eat a lot more than that on a daily basis!

If she is serious aobut putting on weight why doesn't she see a nutritionist and join a gym and do weights?

Do you?

I doubt it.

mood

Novella wrote: »

I don't think your comments are particularly helpful to the discussion. Somebody says their sister is slim and finds it difficult to put on weight and you jump on it, accusing the girl of not eating enough etc. The attitude you are displaying is unfair.

So what if you eat more on a daily basis? Not everybody has to eat what you eat. I certainly don't eat more than what was listed. Some people genuinely are small framed and comments like, "She's not eating enough" are just so flippant and dismissive.

I did not say she is not eating enough. I just meant that it didn't sound like a lot of food to me. But that is just my opinion and I wasn't taken into account portion sizes which could very well be larger that I think.

From experience doing weight does put on a bit of weight.

mood

purplecow1977 wrote: »

You've said that about 8 times now in this thread.

I'm beginning to think you ARE a bit paranoid about it!

Why not just say 'my doctor says I'm a healthy weight' and leave it at that.

No need to repeat and repeat [and repeat].

Because I feel I am being attacked over and over and over.

Coffeeteasugar

I would find it offensive if someone called me too skinny.I find it difficult to put on weight, you might put on a few pounds for a while, then lose it the week after, it's always fluctuating!!

Stepping Stone

I do find peoples attitudes to weight and appearance a bit scary sometimes.

One of my friends is small and slim naturally but she is obsessed with other peoples weight and has to be the thinnest person in a room. I have heard her asking if someone has an eating disorder if they are thinner and if you are not close to that thin, you are fat, normally bordering on obese.

What I find really scary is that she is always liking and sharing stuff on Facebook like 'sore? Tired? Sweaty? Out of breath? Good. That means its working.' or 'tomorrow you can be sore or tomorrow you can be sorry. You choose'. I suspect that this may be motivation for us fat people.

I suspect that she can be very cruel to anyone who is thinner or as thin as her, but I just find her obsession disturbing. She used to naturally be an 8 but is now a 4-6, so she has nothing to be jealous of really but she still seems to be.

This thread has gotten me thinking a lot about what people say and the motivation behind it. People can be so horrible. My friend is a lovely girl in almost every other way, but she just makes everyone feel like rubbish about their bodies.

For those of you who get comments or abuse about being 'too thin, not eating, etc', do you ever find that it comes from similarly slim girls on occasion or do I just know an unusual person?

NeonCookies

My parents are ridiculous when it comes to weight. One day it's "You'd want to be watching what you eat", the next day "Oh, are you on a diet, are you eating enough??" Drives me crazy!!

My brother has a girlfriend who I haven't met yet. First thing my mum tells me is how tiny she is! Then says in shock that the girlfriend didn't eat breakfast when she was staying in the house, so therefore mustn't eat. Then in the next breath expresses amazement that she ate all my mum's roast dinner (and therefore clearly DOES eat?!)

It's the same with my brother. He does a sport that he needs to be extremely physically strong to do (and he's really good at it!) But my parents are always saying he doesn't eat enough and is too skinny.

My friends are all shapes and sizes, but all eat well. Whatever's natural for you. Your weight is for you to deal with. No one else should comment on it.

mood

Stepping Stone wrote: »

I do find peoples attitudes to weight and appearance a bit scary sometimes.

One of my friends is small and slim naturally but she is obsessed with other peoples weight and has to be the thinnest person in a room. I have heard her asking if someone has an eating disorder if they are thinner and if you are not close to that thin, you are fat, normally bordering on obese.

What I find really scary is that she is always liking and sharing stuff on Facebook like 'sore? Tired? Sweaty? Out of breath? Good. That means its working.' or 'tomorrow you can be sore or tomorrow you can be sorry. You choose'. I suspect that this may be motivation for us fat people.

I suspect that she can be very cruel to anyone who is thinner or as thin as her, but I just find her obsession disturbing. She used to naturally be an 8 but is now a 4-6, so she has nothing to be jealous of really but she still seems to be.

This thread has gotten me thinking a lot about what people say and the motivation behind it. People can be so horrible. My friend is a lovely girl in almost every other way, but she just makes everyone feel like rubbish about their bodies.

For those of you who get comments or abuse about being 'too thin, not eating, etc', do you ever find that it comes from similarly slim girls on occasion or do I just know an unusual person?

Your friend sound like she may have a problem. What you have said is quite worrying.

I have got comments for women other thin women. I always found that odd until I got to know them better and realise they are not naturally thin but really watch their diet etc.

Stepping Stone

mood wrote: »

Your friend sound like she may have a problem. What you have said is quite worrying.

I have got comments for women other thin women. I always found that odd until I got to know them better and realise they are not naturally thin but really watch their diet etc.

I never gave it too much thought but I think you may be right. She has an unhealthy relationship with weight and appearance at the very least.

She is always eager to show off the latest, smallest pair of jeans that she has squeezed into. I don't pay too much attention because I suppose it isn't really something that I am interested in.

She seems very body confident but this may just be because she gets in there first and makes everyone else feel rubbish.

The more I think about it though, the more odd it seems that she is so quick to pronounce people who are obviously naturally slim as having eating disorders. I mean people who have always been slim, come from families of similarly slim people, are healthy, eat well and look well.

I suppose that the ironic thing is that I wouldn't feel comfortable or even able to bring it up with her. :-(

mood

Stepping Stone wrote: »

I never gave it too much thought but I think you may be right. She has an unhealthy relationship with weight and appearance at the very least.

She is always eager to show off the latest, smallest pair of jeans that she has squeezed into. I don't pay too much attention because I suppose it isn't really something that I am interested in.

She seems very body confident but this may just be because she gets in there first and makes everyone else feel rubbish.

The more I think about it though, the more odd it seems that she is so quick to pronounce people who are obviously naturally slim as having eating disorders. I mean people who have always been slim, come from families of similarly slim people, are healthy, eat well and look well.

I suppose that the ironic thing is that I wouldn't feel comfortable or even able to bring it up with her. :-(

I would imagine people with a real problem wouldn't be body confident as they honestly believe they are fat etc. But you are right the she probably has an unhealthy relationship with weight and appearance at the very least.

Corruptedmorals

I think age can be a factor as well as calorie intake. I used to be very thin all the way through school, up to the age of 22/23. 5'3, weight anywhere from 7 stone 3 to 7'12 but NEVER any higher despite best efforts. I was not overeating by any means, but certainly enough that I should have been heavier, especially given the lack of exercise. I went down to 6 stone when I was ill, it was the absolute worst. Now at 24 I am 8 stone 7 with a normal BMI for the first time ever, and I've gone up a size. I look much healthier and I'm thrilled but it's quite uneven so I'd like a few more pounds for the stick arms/shoulders. But I did not increase my calorie intake, so it does not have an explanation other than some settling now I'm in my 20's.

And I absolutely hate the word skinny, hated being called a skinny bitch in haha only joking tones, and crap like that. It hurt, the tone was sometimes jealousy but sometimes disgust. Nobody ever says anything like that directly to an overweight person's face, whatever about behind their back.

April O Neill

Corruptedmorals wrote: »

And I absolutely hate the word skinny, hated being called a skinny bitch in haha only joking tones, and crap like that. It hurt, the tone was sometimes jealousy but sometimes disgust. Nobody ever says anything like that directly to an overweight person's face, whatever about behind their back.

Well, no, something said directly to an overweight person's face would just be openly insulting. Neither is good though.

mood

April O Neill wrote: »

Well, no, something said directly to an overweight person's face would just be openly insulting. Neither is good though.

But something said to a slim persons face is equally insulting IMO.

April O Neill

mood wrote: »

But something said to a slim persons face is equally insulting IMO.

I know, that's why I said:

Neither is good though.

I think it's good that the fact that slim women get insulted is being acknowledged but there seems to be a push to claim it happens more than overweight women receiving comments, something I simply don't believe.

The nature of comments differ a bit, but overweight women can receive insidious comments too, as a post by Ms. Flitworth earlier in the thread shows, as well as outrightly insulting ones.

mood

April O Neill wrote: »

I know, that's why I said:



I think it's good that the fact that slim women get insulted is being acknowledged but there seems to be a push to claim it happens more than overweight women receiving comments, something I simply don't believe.

The nature of comments differ a bit, but overweight women can receive insidious comments too, as a post by Ms. Flitworth earlier in the thread shows, as well as outrightly insulting ones.

Sorry. I picked it up wrong.

There is no way to know who gets 'comments' more to be honest.

Maybe we should be discussing what to say the to those people who through around horrible comments. Any ideas? I have often wanted to say 'stop being such a b*tch' or pass personal remarks back but didn't.

Magenta

borderlinemeath wrote: »

She has a really fast metabolism and stresses a lot about various things. For breakfast she has toast or if she's running late she gets a croissant or a danish in the shop, she has mid morning snacks then lunch is usually something like soup & sambo or pasta, for her dinner she has potatoes, veg and meat or fish. She loves chinese takeaway and chipper chips and I've seen her put away a big bag of kettle chips all by herself.

There's no hidden disorder or anything like that, she genuinely stresses about her lack of weight and how bad she looks.

Has she had blood tests done, for example for an overactive thyroid?

April O Neill

mood wrote: »

Maybe we should be discussing what to say the to those people who through around horrible comments. Any ideas? I have often wanted to say 'stop being such a b*tch' or pass personal remarks back but didn't.

I dunno, there's always going to be bitchy, horrible people unfortunately, so maybe just facing them head-on?

mood

I've always just ignored it and not let it bother me but sometimes it does. If it happens again I'm going to just tell the person how rude they are.

Madam_X

Corruptedmorals wrote: »

hated being called a skinny bitch in haha only joking tones, and crap like that. It hurt, the tone was sometimes jealousy but sometimes disgust. Nobody ever says anything like that directly to an overweight person's face, whatever about behind their back.

To be fair, they do. The context is gonna be different, but it does happen. And neither is cool.

Aoifums

I've had relatives telling me that I've gotten so skinny. It's annoying but I smile and nod over most of their comments. It would annoy me way more if random strangers did it.
I really wish people wouldn't say anything. I don't know anyone who isn't at least a little self-conscious about their weight so it's not exactly the nicest compliment someone can give.

borderlinemeath

Magenta wrote: »

Has she had blood tests done, for example for an overactive thyroid?

She had tests done years ago, don't know whether thyroid was done but she does go to the doctor if she needs to.